"I've finished psychoanalyzing Luna. She's been traumatized for six years, ever since she was kidnapped, but I never have encountered a case like her's before, so I can't give her a diagnosis. For the time being, I'm just going to label her as 'mentally unstable'.", Jakob told the police chief.
"When did you get the grounds to be able to psychoanalyze?", Bogo grunted.
"The kid's studying to be a psychology major. As for her physical state, she's been forced to act like a savage for so long that she's lost her ability to walk upright. She's going to need therapeutic swim therapy to help her gain that ability back.", Alex quipped.
"Sorry, Alex, but she'll be living with you, along with the humans. I'm not allowed to let a mentally unstable minor roam the streets of Zootopia.", Bogo sighed. "Nah, I don't mind. I'm sure that Jack won't care if we have one more animal stay with us.", Alex replied.
"I know she looks lovely, but she smells like turds! If we're going to keep her, then we need to give her a bath!", Matthew complained. "Since you were the first one to complain about her, you're going to be the one to bathe her! I'll have to help, of course.", Alex said. "But cats hate the water!", Matthew whined. Judy kicked his leg.
"You speciesist! Saying that cats hate the water is just like assuming that all foxes are sly and shifty, or that all bunnies are dumb!", Judy shouted, fired up from Matthew's whining. While they were fighting, Ben was talking with Luna. When Ben came into the room, Luna was unresponsive, so he asked Blossom to help him. This immediately earned a response from Luna.
"Bloomie? Is that you?!", Luna gasped. "Moonie!", Blossom exclaimed. They ran towards each other, and Luna leapt into Blossom's arms.
"Wait. You two know each other?", Ben questioned.
"Yeah, we were best friends in kindergarten through third grade! But after the start of fourth grade, I never saw Moonie again.", Blossom explained. "Oh, silly, that's because I got so smart that I skipped grades! Before I got kidnapped, I was about to graduate from college!", Luna told her. As she said this, her crescent moon mark sparkled.
"Luna, what's that?", Ben asked, pointing to the crescent moon mark on her head.
"My father, Kurosaki, was an anime developer. He helped develop the Sailor Moon anime, and my mom also had this crescent moon birthmark. Her name was Artemis, and I got this mark when I was born. So he named me after one of the characters in the Sailor Moon anime.", Luna explained. Matthew poked his head in the room.
"Hey, Luna, it's time that we take you to our house.", Matthew called out. Luna caught sight of him and instantly started purring. She pounced on him, grabbing onto his shirt. "OW, OW! CLAWS, CLAWS!", Matthew screamed. Luna's claws were indeed digging into his skin. Luna scrambled onto his shoulder. "Sorry! Oh, this one I like! It's that brave one that saved me from that awful fox!", Luna purred. Matthew laughed nervously. They took her to Jack's house, Luna insisting that she sit on Matthew's lap on the way there. Before they went in, Alex stopped Luna.
"Welcome to your new home, Luna. I'd like you to consider us as your new family.", Alex solemnly said, his voice laced with formality. Luna wiped a tear from her eye. "But first, Matthew's going to give you a bath. Blossom, could you see if you have any clothes that Luna could wear? I mean, I know you don't wear pants, but still...", Alex asked.
"Anything for my Moonie!", Blossom said. "Ethan, make sure that Jakob doesn't try to sneak a peek at Luna.", Alex instructed. "I'll try to restrain him.", Ethan said. "Ben, I want you to be in there, in case Matthew chickens out.", Alex said. "Hey, Super Saiyans NEVER chicken out!", Matthew protested.
Alex turned on the water to the bathtub. When the tub was full, Luna jumped in. "Cannonball!", she shouted in glee. Water splashed all of them. Ben started cleaning his glasses. Alex looked smugly at the self-proclaimed Super Saiyan.
"You said that cats hated the water?", he smirked.
"I thought so...", Matthew trailed off. "Are you kidding me? I love the water! I used to take swimming lessons!", Luna said, scrubbing the soap bar all over her body. "For some reason, that seems cool.", Matthew said. Then he gasped. "Oh god. OH GOD! I'M BECOMING FRIENDS WITH A ANTHROPOMORPHIC ANIMAL! GET ME SOME IODINE! I WANNA KILL MYSELF! I SWORE THAT I WOULD NEVER DEVELOP FEELINGS FOR SOMEONE OUTSIDE OF MY OWN SPECIES! WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAS MY LIFE CAME TO?", Matthew sobbed.
"Oh yes! FINALLY!", Ben shouted. "Fuck this shit I'm out!", Matthew said, breaking the door down. Matthew came across a skunk with rainbow fur. "Hey, I heard your predicament. Want a way out of this place?", the rainbow skunk asked.
"ABSOLUTELY! Anywhere but here!", Matthew cried out. The skunk took him to her underground lab. "You'll be trying out my new portal, which runs off of pendulum and rainbow energy. I'm not sure you'll live or ever will be able to come back, and I've never tried it on a human before…", the skunk mused. "Wait, you're Dr. Iris! Ethan and Blossom told me about you!", Matthew exclaimed. "I'm a criminal mastermind?", Dr. Iris scoffed. "I'd turn you in, but I really need a way outta here, so… you're free, for the time being. Just let me leave my friends a note.", Matthew said. Dr. Iris nodded. Matthew wrote the note, took it to Alex's house, and then came back. "It was nice meeting everyone here, but I can't do romantics. Hopefully wherever this takes me has humans.", Matthew said, before jumping into the portal.