Chapter 10:

It was like the universe was weeping for the innocent the day the camp decided Clarke Griffin was dead. Rain didn't drizzle, it poured like icy reminders that Bellamy was alone and nothing could change that. It was difficult to mourn when every second of every day seemed to go on and on without anything comforting. Sure, he could see Octavia's hand on his shoulder and he could see the eyes of the people that actually gave a damn but he couldn't feel they're comfort.

He couldn't feel anything.

But he could feel everything from the past punching him in the gut.

He could remember the first time they had sex. He could remember the first time they said they loved each other. He could remember the first time they pressed their foreheads together and said this was going to last forever.

And now it was all fucking over!

It was just done and there wasn't a damn thing anyone could do about it.

Nathan Miller showed up three days after her official passing. "You need to start thinking about the council leaving you to die."

"Why should I punish them when I left Clarke to do?" Bellamy asked numbly, "Do you think she's really dead or do you think they're—"

"Stop, man." Nathan said with a firm hand on his shoulder, "Don't go there."

"How long were you and Clarke sleeping together?" Bellamy stood up, "We break up and you think you have your chance…how long?"

Nathan didn't give him an answer.

"How long, Miller?" Bellamy prompted, "Come on you son of bitch—tell me! You're her rat, right? You're him."

He still didn't answer.

"Did you love her?" He asked, officially crying for the thousandth time. "Did you love Clarke?"

"Yes." Miller said, receiving a hard punch to his jaw. Miller hit back, slamming his fist into Bellamy's temple. If he wanted to fight, he was going to fight. Of course he never slept with Clarke…of course he didn't love her romantically. Clarke was his friend. His best friend. And he was going to let his other former best friend beat the shit out of him because that's how he mourned…

Bellamy needed to mourn.

So, Nathan Miller stopped fighting and let Bellamy swing and swing until his face felt like it was broken. His blood was on Bellamy's hand but he barely saw it through his swollen eyes. "I loved her." He said, "But I would never tell you that I loved her more than you. I never slept with Clarke."

"I know." Bellamy said, "She wouldn't sleep with you."

XXX

Clarke's eyes were blank as she stared ahead. Dr. Tsing was talking about procedure and the things that applied to her immediate death. The white room was familiar and the white gown she wore was familiar as well. She half expected to look behind the circular glass and see Monty. She half expected Bellamy to rescue her. She half expected to drop dead from the anxiety.

The monitors were beeping and she couldn't help but recall the technology on the Ark. She thought of her mother and how Clarke used to want to be just like her. She thought about her father…her brave father and how he would sacrifice everything for human life. Clarke hoped she made her father proud even if it was the life of Bellamy Blake—a boy her father was sure not to approve of at first. Bellamy was rough, but he was dedicated. Clarke would have spent a lot of time explaining why he was so important. She would have to explain the wild look in Bellamy's eyes when he was winning… she would have to explain his passion… she would have to explain how much it scared her to think of how much Bellamy loved her…

But her father would only fear one thing when it came to Bellamy Blake and that would be how much Clarke loved him.

If they'd been together on the Ark (which was a stupid thought about if they'd had extra time to love…) she would have been arrested with Octavia (if Bellamy had let her in on the secret) because Clarke Griffin loved Octavia Blake as if she were her own sister. The Blake siblings and Clarke Griffin reached an understanding long before Bellamy and Clarke fell in love—they would die for each other because they cared for each other. They were a family…an odd family that included Raven, Finn, Monty, Jasper, and Miller. Clarke regretted not turning to her family when Jasper died—there wasn't anything she could do about it now.

"You execution is set in two years' time." The doctor announced, "If things go according to plan."

Her head shot up, "Two years? What fucking plan?"

"Well if your boyfriend impregnated you, of course we're going to keep you alive to study the first baby we've ever delivered that can withstand radiation. It'd be a disgrace to pass up the situation." The Doctor had a scary point. Of course Clarke and Bellamy weren't concerned with the "safety" of their night. Clarke's heartbeat increased, she heard it over every monitor in the room. "At least you'll have the necessary time with your child."

"I don't want to be a mother." Clarke said, "End the pregnancy. End my life."

"You don't make your own decisions anymore, Miss Griffin."