Chapter 10 Never Piss off Petunia

Petunia blinked and turned to her son. "What the bloody hell just happened here?"

Dudley snorted, "Um, dad just patted you on your um - behind then told you to go shopping in a freak shopping center." Dudley snorted again and Petunia had a hunch that he was trying hard not to laugh at her. "So mum, wanna buy a magic stick or something?"

Petunia lightly slapped him upside the head. "Let's just find someone who can help us find the boy. Look for a bobby or something." She hesitated for a few seconds lost in thought before asking, "Do these freaks even have bobbies?"

That did it. Dudley dissolved into laughter. Catching his breath he nodded. "They don't call em Bobbies though." Dudley grew serious, "I talked to one after that thing bit me. There're called unspeakables and they work out of a place called the ministry." Dudley shrugged, "I don't know where that's at though. Mum, you know Harry's school is way up in Scotland don't you?" She gave her son a hesitant nod and Dudley nodded back before speaking once again. "It's a long way from here to Scotland. We should just get him a cell phone and that way we won't have this hassle ever again. He can do the 'Bibbity Bobbity Boo' stuff and travel real fast. We gotta drive and that's gonna take forever."

Dudley was making sense to his mother. She decided she would talk to Vernon about it after he sobered up and after she yelled at him…and…after she lectured him for a few hours then gave him the silent treatment for a few days. Oh yes, Vernon would most definitely pay for patting her on the bum in front of a room full of freaks. An almost evil smile grew on her face as her eyes narrowed. Yes, he would pay indeed.

Reaching her arm out to her son she threw her head back and took a proud stance. "Come Dudley, let's go do some shopping!" Looking around the alley she spotted a store that had a set of weapons in the window. With a small tug she directed her son to it.

Entering the shop she glanced around till she saw a man who had to be a clerk. She walked over to him and asked the price of the sword set in the window.

The man smiled at the thin blonde woman and walking over to the window he lifted out the katana and handed it to the woman so that she could examine the workmanship of the sword. "Good craftsmanship in this set. It includes the Katana which you are holding, the Wakizashi, and the Tanto sword as well as two boot knives and three throwing knives. The carry case, the stand and a specially designed baldric that comfortable holds all three swords. Notice the etching on the blade? Acid etched by a master craftsman."

Petunia was amazed with how beautiful the weapon was.

The clerk reached back into the window and picked up a varnished cherry wood case and taking it out he opened it so that Petunia could examine the interior. It was lined in the softest of silks and the top of the case had a carved willow tree on it. Petunia reached a finger out and ran it along the etching of the tree. "This is fantastic work. That tree is so lifelike." She murmured softly. Raising her eyes to the clerk she made up her mind. She would buy the set for her nephew's birthday. It was time the family purchased him a nice gift and besides it had the added bonus of pissing her husband off. "I'll take it. How much for the complete set."

"The complete set which includes everything I have shown you as well as the knives, baldric and sheathes for the boot knives comes to 3000 galleons. If you purchase it I'll throw in free of charge a jar of leather conditioner for the baldric and sheathes as well as polishing cloths, oil and a fine grit wetstone."

Petunia looked confused, "What's a galleon?"

The clerk reared back as if slapped. He looked like he wanted to snatch the sword she was holding back from her but visibly restrained himself. "You're muggle?"

Petunia knew that term, it meant nonmagical. "Yes I'm nonmagical but my nephew isn't. He'll be turning 18 at the end of July and I wish to purchase this set for his birthday." Her face took on a determined expression and she gave a decisive nod. "I want this set for my nephew's birthday gift so how do I get these gallons?"

Giving her an appraising look he finally nodded. Indicating the door he said politely, "if you'll come with me I'll show you the direction to our bank. There you can exchange muggle money for wizard money and even set up a line of credit or open an account. Once you've finished at Gringotts come back here and we'll complete the transaction. Did you notice the silver plate on the case? We can have your nephews name and the date engraved there for you at no additional cost. Would you like that?"

Petunia smiled at the man, "I think that's a fine idea. Thank you sir."

He smiled at her and thinking to get a head start asked, "What's your nephews name and I get the engraving done before you return."

Petunia had already stepped outside and was looking around so she didn't see the man's face when she casually threw out her famed nephew's name. "Harry Potter."

The clerk almost swallowed his tongue. "Harry Potter, the boy who defeated the dark lord?"

"That's my nephew. Now which way to this bank?" she asked.

"You go straight down this street. See that big white marble building there? That's it. Just go inside and tell them what you need. They'll set you right up."

After Petunia and her son had left the clerk took the case and exchanged the silver name plate for a platinum one on which he lovingly engraved the legend 'Harry Potter' At each of the four corners of the plate he inserted a small emerald and as he polished it he smiled. Mr. Potter would never know but he knew that in a small way he had given the boy a birthday gift and he felt good about it.

Petunia and Dudley made their way to the bank and entered. Petunia took one look at the goblin guards and promptly fainted striking her head on the marble step. The blood began to flow and Dudley started to panic. Two guards rushed over and levitated the woman and took her to a private office for medical attention. They lay her down on a purple leather couch and Dudley grabbed her hand and not knowing what else to do he started to pat it telling her "Wake up mum. Come on, wake up."

A young man with red hair rushed into the room and demanded to know what had happened here. The guards explained that the woman had fainted. Perhaps it was low sugar?

Dudley watched as the redhead took out a magic stick and pointed it at his mother. Softly he said something and the cut on the back of her head stopped bleeding. Another softly spoken word and the blood that had been spilled vanished. The third time had his mother waking up and with the help of the man she was soon sitting on her own. The forth spell had the three of them holding a cup of tea.

The man smiled slightly as Petunia rattled her cup against her saucer. "What were those things?"

"Those my dear lady are goblins. They run Gringotts. Don't worry, they won't hurt you." The man smiled at the woman and introduced himself. "My name is Bill Weasley and I work here."

Petunia studied the man. Aside from a scar on his left cheek that ran down to under his chin he was a hansom man. Rather normal looking aside from an earring and rather long hair which he had pulled back into a ponytail. Compared to the length that the boy now wore his hair this man's hair was rather short. She introduced herself. "Petunia Dursley and my son Dudley."

The man, no Bill started when she introduced herself. "Dursley? Any relation to the family that raised Harry Potter?"

Dudley was a bit surprised to hear pride in her voice when she admitted, "My nephew."

Dudley watched the man close down the expression on his face till it was blank. "If you're here to try to access his vault I'm afraid that we won't allow it unless you have written permission. Do you?" Bill was prepared to take any written permission and run it straight down to Harry and the group he was with just to make sure his possessions were protected. Dudley was a bit uncomfortable. Clearly this man knew of them and was not impressed.

His mothers confused expression and her quick "Access his vault? Why would we want to do that?" Scored a few points with the redhead. Her next words scored even more. "I saw a set of swords that I though he would like. The set includes three swords and some knives. My nephew has his birthday coming up in about two months and I thought to buy them for him. The clerk said we had to pay with gallons and directed us here to exchange some pounds for these gallons. He also said I could do some sort of a transfer thingy so I can charge them if I don't have enough money on me. The swords cost 3000 gallons."

Bill had been contemplating correcting her pronunciation of Galleons vanished when she mentioned the cost of the swords she wanted to buy. "Three thousand?" Bill had the feeling that this woman had no clue as to the exchange rate between British pounds and the wizarding coins. "Mrs. Dursley, are you aware of the fact that our galleons are minted in pure gold? The exchange rate is not one for one."

"Pure gold? They must be very small then. What is the exchange rate?"

Bill reached into a pocket of his robe and pulled out a device that looked almost like a muggle cell phone. Hitting a button he waited for a moment then asked whoever had answered the call. "What is the current rate of exchange between muggle pounds and Galleons?" Writing a figure down on a piece of parchment he listened for a few more moments before writing something else down. "Yes, thank you very much." He put the phone back into his pocket and did a quick math problem and told her. "Mrs. Dursley, 3000 Galleons equals 16,590 pounds (For the American in some of us that would equal 31,316.95 dollars.) Are you sure you want to spend that much for a birthday gift?"

It really was a bit stupid of Bill to have asked that last question since Petunia had fainted once again at the mention of the 16,590 pounds. Oh well, at least this time she was seated on the sofa and only spilled a cup of tea instead of more blood.

Bill raised an eyebrow at the blonde boy sitting on the sofa beside his mother. "Um I don't think she knew how much a galleon was worth before she decided to go shopping. My dad earns a good income but not good enough to afford that. Shame though. First time my mum decides to buy Harry something she picks out something we can't buy."

Bill gave it a little bit of thought before he cast a simple sleep spell on the woman and invited the boy to accompany him to see his boss. "Your mum will be safe here, I promise."

Dudley nodded before he climbed to his feet to accompany the man. "Will we see those goblin things again?"

Bill nodded. "They own the bank. I work for them so I would say yes. You don't have to worry though. They don't normally hurt humans unless you try to rob the bank or something." The two made their way through corridors and halls till they came to an ornate door which Bill knocked on. The door opened by itself and the two entered the office. Bill bowed low to the goblin seated at the large showy desk and waited in silence to be acknowledged. Dudley just stood there quietly and wondered if he should bow too. Before he had a chance to decide whether to bow or not the goblin looked up from the parchment he was reading.

"What can I do for you Mr. Weasley?"

"Director, I have a muggle woman who wanted to exchange some British pounds for galleons in order to make a purchase. What she wanted to buy was a very special birthday present for a very special young man. Her nephew, Mr. Harry Potter. She was under the impression that the rate of exchange would be one for one and so was very disappointed to find that the price of 3000 galleons put the gift far outside of her price range. I myself would love to make a donation to help her purchase this gift and I know that there are several goblins that would also like to contribute to this fund. What I am seeking is permission to approach those that might like to donate with the purpose letting them know that the opportunity exists. May I have your permission to do this?"

When Bill had mentioned Potters name the goblin had directed all of his attention to his subordinate. At the end of Bill's speech he got to his feet and walking around the desk answered with only four words. "Show me this gift."

Dudley gulped quietly as the goblin came to stand beside him. "I left Mrs. Dursley sleeping in an outer office. She passed out from disappointment when she found out that she could not afford the gift." Turning to Dudley Bill asked, "Do you know the shop where the gift is located?"

"Its not here in this building." Dudley groaned at saying something so stupid. "What I mean is that I can find it again if I'm outside but I don't know my way out of this building."

The director made a low growling noise in his chest and opened the door and without a backward glance started down the hall. His attitude made it clear that he expected the two to follow him which they did.

Once the three were outside Dudley took the lead and the three soon were inside of the shop that had the sword set that had caught Petunia's eye. The clerk had removed them from the window and was finishing up the task of applying a good buffing to the edged weapons after which he would place each piece in a silk bag to insure that no fingerprints got on them. The director stomped over to the clerk and asked "Are these the gifts that Mr. Potters aunt is buying?"

The clerk tried his best to not look surprised to having a goblin in his shop answered with as much grace as he was able. "They are. Would you like to examine them?"

The goblin nodded and the clerk carefully removed each piece from its silken bag and laid them out on the counter. With careful fingers each piece was lifted, examined and approved of. "I want ever sharp charms put on them. I also want them charmed so that they will come to his hand when he needs to draw them. Can you do this?"

"Those two as well as an unbreakable charm and an auto return charm in case he ever looses one of the pieces. The charms will be my gift to the young man." And so it was done.

The trio left the shop with the beautifully wrapped gift and walked back to the bank. Bill had picked up a card to go along with the sword set and once back in the room where Petunia was still sleeping he signed it 'From your family and the staff of Gringotts. Happy Birthday Harry.'

Petunia was woke up and once she saw the wrapped present and heard the story from her son she gladly gave over the three thousand pounds for her family's part in purchasing the gift.

Everyone involved was pleased with how the day had turned out and so it was with little fanfare that a portkey was made to send the two Dursleys home. Still feeling proud of herself she grabbed the portkey and her son's hand and with an unsettling feeling of something grabbing her behind her navel the two vanished.

OOOPS! It took only a second or two to figure out that she had forgotten some things. You know, some things like the fact that her house was being overrun with little white creatures and things like the fact that her husband was currently making a fool of himself in a magical bar and the fact Vernon's car was located in London and her car was in the aforementioned overrun house's garage…

Petunia and Dudley looked at each other. At least that port thing had landed them in the back yard instead of inside the house but what were the two going to do now? They had no money, no transportation, no food and most importantly no Harry!

Bill was also pleased. He had managed to help Harry's family purchase him a birthday gift right under his nose. Harry had never even know that his family was two floors above him…