*Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel or any of the original characters from Marvel comics/movies*

Breakthrough! The flashback in this chapter explains the first chapter. Enjoy~

Chapter 10: Beginning

Loki dropped her hand and raised an eyebrow.

"You jest." He stated without amusement.

"I am afraid not." Estiel returned to her seat. While propping her arm on its elbow, she leaned her head against her hand. Loki stood next to her, mouth open slightly and speechless.

She wondered if he would be angry with her or if he would even be upset in the first place. After all, they had not established anything officially as of yet. Estiel confessed her love to him and he had confessed "affections" for her, but what would it all lead to? She was not certain that she wanted him to court her—over a hundred years of routine would be hard to reshape. The thought was frightening—change. Perhaps, it was change alone that worried her about anything when it came to Loki. She never wanted the companionship of another man after they had met, though she still was not brave enough to embark on a relationship with Loki. He would have to take the next step, to claim her as his, if they were to ever become more than friends.

"When did this happen? Please, tell me it is not to that braggart, simpleton knight!" he snapped at her. A smirk crept onto her face at his reaction—he was jealous.

"And if it was?" She provoked.

"Well, prepare yourself to become a very young widow." Loki spoke with malice in his voice.

"You mean to tell me that you are so intimidated by a 'simpleton' that you threaten to commit murder?" Estiel thoroughly enjoyed debates with him. She grinned and tried to not look at him.

"Intimidated is not the proper word. Encroached is much more appropriate." He corrected her with a smile. Estiel lazily stood up and shot him a cheeky glance as she walked toward the door.

"That would be accurate if I actually belonged to you, but unfortunately, this bird remains free at the present time." Loki narrowed his eyes and vanished. She was a little disappointed that he left so unexpectedly. Shrugging her shoulders, Estiel turned the doorknob and pushed. It did not move.

"Odd…" she tried again. Nothing, not even a noise. She furrowed her brow when she heard a devious snicker. Then she rolled her eyes a bit at the trick.

"You are self-indulgent, Loki. Open the door, would you?" She tried to look annoyed, but truth be told, she found most of his pranks rather humorous. Loki's warm breath was suddenly in her ear and she shuddered.

"You may be a bird, but you are only as free as I allow you to be. Remember that, my darling." She felt him press his cheek to her and heard him sniff her hair. Closing her eyes, she began to lean into him when she almost fell—as quickly as he was beside her, he was gone. When her eyes opened, the door was already ajar in front of her. She blinked and felt longing in his absence. The moment reminded her of the day she confronted him in that very library and he had stormed out, rejecting her affections.

It was a rather fateful day in more ways than one. Earlier, before Estiel had confessed her love for him, an announcement had been made that sounded throughout the kingdom. The proclamation of Prince Thor to ascend the throne in early summer spread throughout the realm. Like a domino effect, it came from the Allfather, then to all the palace residents, on to ranked officials and finally, the countrymen.

Within a few hours, all of Asgard was buzzing with anticipation. Though it was a popular belief that the announcement would come to pass that way, given Thor was the older son, Loki did not relinquish the hope that he might have been chosen instead. Therefore, as one could imagine, the dark Prince of Mischief was one of the very few individuals who was less than thrilled with the news.

"Curses! He will be our undoing, that is for certain!" Loki hissed as he slammed a fist onto the desk. Estiel flinched slightly as she watched her friend stew in his anger.

"Loki…" she murmured, trying to calm him. His eyes were filled with malevolence and focused on her.

"Let me guess, you are happy, too, aren't you? You should be, I suppose. The mighty Thor, Asgard's shining hero and champion, ascending the throne in a few short months. Pfft, little do they know, his brainless-brawn will cost us our lives one day!" he growled and set fire to a book on the table with his powers. Estiel's eyes widened and quickly threw her glass of water on it. Loki only snarled quietly.

"Would you please end this before your temper bests you?" she was frustrated. She had sat through many sessions of him ranting on and on about how much he disliked his father's decisions, and how Thor was a buffoon. Loki smirked.

"Oh, have no fear. I most certainly will end it." Something in his tone was unsettling. Estiel's stomach twisted at the presence of a dark force in the room. She looked around suspiciously before resting her gaze upon him. A wicked smile was on his face as his attention was on the burned book.

"What are you plotting?" She bluntly questioned.

"Beg your pardon?" Loki's voice changed from sinister to stern. This happened every time she caught him in something—he would immediately change his disposition.

"You heard me. What are you plotting to do? I sense you are in a rather dark place." She tried to sound concerned, for she was. He only looked disinterested.

"I have not the slightest idea of what you are going on about. If you feel that I am in a dark place, maybe you would be a dear and light a candle for me?" Loki tried to lead her away from the truth.

"Fine, continue to play your games. I will keep my thoughts to myself in that case." Estiel pouted and continued writing her notes.

"You presume I am playing when I am being factual..." Loki spoke with an unreadable expression. Perhaps, it was a combination of sadness and indifference, but that would be contradictory. She hated seeing him shut himself down, purposely going to the emptiness when she began to pry at his deeper thoughts.

"All your lies will only see to your loneliness. I understand your need to be guarded, but locking the world out will undoubtedly cause more pain." Estiel murmured and attempted to reach for his hand. He only shot her a glare and pulled his hand away.

"You understand that I need to guard against what, exactly? And what could you possibly know of pain?" Loki stood and leaned over the desk to her, taking on an intimidating stance.

"There you go again. Look at you, you guard against everything. The slightest show of concern, of compassion, and you become this…" she waved her hand at him to indicate he was being ridiculous.

"Bite your tongue, Estiel, before I have to do it for you." He taunted and wore an arrogant leer.

"No need to threaten—I am done." She turned her gaze away from him. The action always angered Loki.

"Answer my question; what do you know of pain?" he wanted to argue, he wanted to push her further away. She groaned before standing up, too, and leaned forward on her hands to face him.

"Pain? I know you ache because the Allfather did not favor you over your older brother. I know you suffer because the realm adores him and considers you a mischief-maker. I know you torment yourself endlessly on ways to make your family proud. I know you hurt because you do not feel the acceptance or the importance of your abilities in combat. I know you are in pain, and you are lonely. You spend so much of your free time in this room, with or without me. Sometimes, I believe you would still come here if you did not know me. I know you hate it, but you do not know any other way to be."

Loki did not break eye contact with her as she spoke. She could almost see into his soul. Hope was stirring in her—hope that he might hear what she was saying and lower his defenses. However, she would be disappointed. He let a low growl escape his lips as he felt the anger seeping up his veins.

"You could not be more wrong about me." He narrowed his eyes into a vicious glare before turning to leave. Like a house of cards collapsing, Estiel's heart sank as her hope dashed away. She chased after him and caught his wrist.

"Wait!" Loki made a half-turn and raised an eyebrow at her.

"I know you, truly, I do. You are capable of happiness and purpose outside of the chains you condemn yourself to. I have seen in your eyes a fire that burns so great, so wild, that you could warm the realm in winter. But you wish to use it to destroy everything, to burn it all to the ground. And for what? To prove your worthiness, your power? Your insecurities will only cause you more suffering." Estiel's voice was soft, but firm. She looked up to him with hope that he would accept what she said.

"You despicable woman—how could you pretend to understand anything beyond rosy ideals and trivial expectations? You know nothing of my burden, nothing of me. You're a fool." Loki spoke venomously. He began to turn on his heels and storm out of the library.

"Loki... please, do not walk away again." Estiel implored. He ignored her and continued to march on.

"I love you!" she shouted after him. She finally confessed—no longer able to lock it in her heart. Her last attempt to keep him, causing him to pause for a mere second at the door.

"I'm sure you do. Let the agony of knowing I do not feel the same haunt you. Perhaps then, you may one day, understand my burden." Loki said coldly before slamming the door behind him.

~*This is the chapter that connects the first through the flashback! Please read it after this to get a better understanding*~