A/N: (Important a/n in the bottom. Please, don't skip it.) GUYS. I'M SORRY THAT IT'S BEEN A MONTH. Sorry. I suck majorly and I know it. Longer chapter, at least! It's, what, 3000 words? Or 2900? Somewhere around that. Major thanks to my beta, TheEternalDaylightingRanger, for helping me with everything.
Shout-outs: TheEternalDaylightingRanger, Married to an Herondale, Sara O. Su, i choose dare, spikeyhairgood, revinai'llbiteu, cathclacemaddian, 247Ice-creamLover, WildHeart22, Divergentdistricts, Guest, TIDTMIgirl, MI cra-cra, Jenna, LOVERGIRL, JaceHerondale17
i choose dare: You'll see. ;) Hope you like this chapter!
revinail'llbiteu: Oh, believe me, I didn't see that coming either. My crazy, crazy mind did, though. Hope you like this chapter!
Guest: I wish... *sigh* Their first kiss isn't going to be so soon, that's for sure. Hope you like this chapter!
TIDTMIgirl: Who isn't? Oh, I'm not alone, that's for sure. Hope you like this chapter!
MI cra-cra: Oh, he's not a scumbag. Or is he? Eh, not really. COHF is not out yet in my country. I'm getting it in two days and I can barely wait. I would have also left them behind. That's what they get for bickering. Hehe. Hope you like this chapter!
Jenna: It's here! Hope you like this chapter!
LOVERGIRL: Here's the update! Woo! Hope you like this chapter!
Songs: Bring Me The Horizon - Go to Hell, for Heaven's Sake (Dedicated to Dolores Umbridge.) - - - Paramore - Decode - - - B.o.B. ft Hayley Williams - Airplanes
Disclaimer: Forgot it on the previous chapter (oh, Lord, is someone going to shoot me with a rifle?). I don't own TMI, sadly. I have Jace tied up in my basement, though. Stalkers for the win. Just kidding. Or am I?
Simon
My life is weird. First, Isabelle Lightwood decides to talk to me. Then, she befriends my best friend. And, after all that, she takes Jace's car and leaves me with him. Okay, maybe it's not my life that is weird, maybe it's Isabelle.
But what I know is that Jace Herondale is not a man you want to be stuck with when your crush and your best friend have taken your car.
"I hope you realized you said that out loud." Oops.
"Who, me?" I point at my chest. Wow, that's the stupidest thing I've ever said. Well, not actually. I've asked my mom whether or not babies come with the mailman, but I was eight, so we'll let it slide.
"No, the invisible man behind you." He rolls his eyes. Wow, nice attempt at sarcasm, Jace. That was so cool and it does not make me think you're getting rusty at this. Man, I think I'm getting good at it. "Of course you. Who else?"
"You won't tell Isabelle, will you?" I plead, my eyes as wide as those of a deer's on the path of a train. He can't tell her. I'm going to die of shame! Oh, there I go acting like a pre-teen again.
"I think she already knows." Yep, here's the inner pre-teen again.
"Wow, so I'm that unlucky." I swallow, staring at the floor right beside his left foot.
"Just go for it, rat. It's not like I haven't noticed how she acts when I mention you." He shrugs.
"You know wha — wait. How does she act when you mention me?" Oh, this is good.
"How are you so oblivious?" He raises his eyebrow.
"I'm not oblivious."
"Yeah, right." He rolls his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Anyway. Let's just walk there," I say, trying to change the subject. Come to think of it, it is very out-of-character for me to say that. Walking is torture. Pure torture. I'd rather shave my legs than walk somewhere, and that's saying something because razors freak me out. "On second thought, let's call someone. Eric, probably."
"Eric...?"
"My friend, Eric. The crazy kid obsessed with his loins?" I'm not even kidding. You'd think his middle name was Loins.
"Oh, that Eric. Will he agree to pick Sebastian up, too, though?" Wait. Oh, no no no no no. I feel like Darth Vader in that edit of Return of the Jedi. You know, the NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO which ruined the whole thing and made us Star Wars fans want to scream profanities at him? Yeah, that one.
"Woah woah woah. No way. I'm not getting in a car with him."
"He has a crush on you. He isn't threatening to kill you. Man up and face your fears."
"You're one to be talking about fears! When you admit you're crushing on Clary, I'll do my part." Maybe I shouldn't have said that. Oh, whatever. It's now or never. Hey, that rhymed!
"I don't have a crush on Clary!" Oh, please.
"Sure."
"Okay, maybe I used to." Woah. I didn't expect him to admit it that easily. Turns out, he didn't expect it either, because he has a grimace on his face that pretty much resembles biting into a brick. "Don't. Say. Anything. Turn a hundred and eighty degrees and go call your friend while I call Sebastian and tell him who's coming. If you say anything to Clary, I will personally make sure that your copies of the Lord of the Rings are destroyed." No-one touches my Lord of the Rings copies. This is war, Herondale.
"THAT WAS BELOW THE BELT, YOU HEAR ME?!"
"Oh, wow, how did I manage to hit such a tiny target?" He smirks. The war is on, then. It's settled.
"Well, excuse me, but how would you know the size of my target?"
"You don't seem like a cobra."
"I beg to differ."
"If anything, you're a miniature ferret plushie."
"I strongly suspect that—" I am cut off by the sound of Jace's phone ringing. And I had the perfect comeback!
"Hang on. Oh, hey, Seb." Oh, great. "Yeah, we're on our way. Uh-huh. Oh, no, Merlin's bathrobe, don't do that." Merlin's bathrobe? "No, I won't stop saying Merlin's bathrobe. It's catchy and it fits with my obsession." Yeah, catchy. Sure, Herondale. "If you even think of doing that, you'll get a punch that'll knock you into next century. Oh, come on. Stop acting like a hormonal teenager! Oh, right, you are a hormonal teenager. My bad."
"While I love your bromance-tastic phone conversations, can you just shut up about the dude's bathrobe and tell him that Eric's coming?"
Magnus
When we're finally inside, I head straight to the bar, where Isabelle probably is. She isn't, though, which is strange because she loves her tequila, so I just sit on the stool. I'm not in the mood for a drink right now.
"Magnus!" Alexander shouts, pushing through the swaying bodies to get to me. "Magnus, have you seen Jace?" I perk up at the sound of his voice, turning my head to him with a smile.
"No, why?"
"He was supposed to be here, and you know how he gets when he's late. Do you think something happened to him?" He's anxious, I can see that. I mean, why wouldn't he be? One of his friends is late, so he must automatically assume that he's been kidnapped by monkeys addicted to sex.
Wow, the sarcasm is strong with this one.
"Anyway..." I look him in the eye for a minimal amount of seconds and then avert my gaze to my drink. I clear my throat. "Alexander, I don't know if you noticed, but your..." I motion my hand quickly to a lower part of his, "zipper is down." He looks down, covering it with his hands.
"Oops. Sorry."
"Don't worry, I won't tell Jace about your duck-themed underwear. Even though they're incredibly sexy."
"Do you have a thing for ducks?"
"Only when you're wearing them." I wink.
Yep, I love being flirtatious. Even though I don't have an odd fetish for ducks, but... yeah.
Clary
In the storage room, there's a rather small number of people, specifically: Jordan, Maia, Raphael Santiago, Helen Blackthorn, Aline Penhallow and Jaida Jones. I sit down between Helen and Jordan and watch until it's time for my doom. Why did I even agree to this?
"Maia, truth or dare?" Isabelle says, pointing at Maia.
Maia looks thoughtful for a moment. "Uuuuh, dare?"
"Wow, don't kill us with your enthusiasm, girl." She waves her hand in front of her. "Text a random number I know what you did last summer."
"Isabelle, that's lame," Maia tells her, clearly thinking aloud.
"Can you come up with something better?" Isabelle shoots back at her.
"Nah."
"Text it."
"Fine." She pulls her phone out of her jacket pocket - which I'm pretty much jealous of, since I'm freezing - and texts it to someone. "Done."
Her phone beeps, alarming her that she has a reply. "It says If that's Amy, then it was JUST a one- time thing. If it's Jane, look at Amy's. If it's Lily, babe, it's not what it looks like. Wow, someone's a cheater." She shakes her head, rolling her eyes. "See? This is why we call men assholes."
"Yes, because everybody's the same," a voice drawls from the door. We turn our heads to see Jace, Simon, Sebastian and Simon's friend, Eric. It's not hard to understand who spoke, mainly because of the accent. Not because I can recognize Jace's voice anywhere, nope, that is ridiculous.
"Well, not necessarily everyone, but you have to admit that at least a third of the guys on this planet is like him."
"Because women aren't able to be like that, eh?" Simon says, rolling his eyes. "We're not the only bad guys here."
"Wow, Lewis, we agree in something," Jace points out, nodding in approval.
"Somebody, pinch me. I think I'm dreaming! No, I'm having a nightmare!" Simon's face could very well be described as a "I-just-saw-my-parents-doing-the-dirty-and-I'm-extremely-horrified" face.
"So, anyway, uh, what are you guys doing?" Sebastian speaks up for the first time tonight. He puts his hands in his pockets awkwardly.
"Playing truth or dare," Jordan answers. "Come join us."
Why can't we play strip poker?" Eric says, grimacing when everybody turns to look at him. "Did I say that out loud?"
"Yes. Yes, you did," Jonathan says, nodding slowly.
"Oh, let's just start this," Jace tells nobody in particular, exasperated. He sits on the empty space next to Jaida.
"As much as it pains me, I agree with Urine-Hair." Maia points to Jace, who is doing an over-dramatic hurt face.
"I'll have you know, my hair is the color of gold."
"Which is also the color of urine."
"Urine is yellow."
"Gold's a shade of yellow."
"ALRIGHT, EVERYBODY, SHUT UP!" Isabelle shouts, raising her fist. "Jace, nobody cares about your hair."
"BLASPHEMY!" Jace gasps.
"Maia, stop taunting Jace about his urine-colored hair."
"That's gonna be a bit hard."
"It's gold!"
"Clary, stop being so quiet."
It suddenly dawns on me that I haven't said anything since Jonathan pulled me inside the storage room.
"Weird, she never shuts up," Jace points out.
"Oh, hush." I roll my eyes.
"As you wish."
"Maia, choose someone." Isabelle crosses her arms over the chest, showing that she's done talking.
"I'm going with Simon," Maia responds.
"I don't remember agreeing!"
"Ah, you'll do it anyway."
"Ugh. Truth." Oh, Simon, you have no idea. Maia can ask the most embarrassing questions that have ever been heard. She's not an evil genius or anything, but she could be if she actually wanted to.
"When was the last time you—"
"NOT THIS QUESTION!" He covers his ears with his hands and shuts his eyes. It's like he's going to start shouting "LALALALALALA" at the top of his lungs any minute.
"Get your mind out of the gutter, Simon." Maia rolls her eyes. He removes his hands and looks at her in confusion.
"That's not a very Maia thing to say."
"Since when is my name an adjective?"
"Ugh."
"Exasperated yet?"
"Very much."
"On with it!" Isabelle interrupts, suddenly looking very jealous. And I thought Simon was obvious about it.
"I don't even remember what I was going to say," Maia laughs. "Uh, okay. Who was the first person you kissed?" Oh, no. Seriously? She couldn't have picked a better time. Practically everyone is here. Jace, Isabelle... Okay, just these two. Ugh, why do I even care about Jace? He couldn't care less about it.
"Um, well, this is an awkward question." He readjusts the collar of his shirt. "Um, yeah, so, it's a funny story. Has Clary told any of you that she had a crush on me when she was fifteen?"
"Hey! I wasn't the only one with a crush. You had a crush on me, too." Spreading false information, huh?
"Irrelevant!"
"Totally relevant!"
"Okay, so, yeah, we kissed, and then we called it off because it felt like kissing my sister." Wow, Simon, I didn't know you were into incest.
"And that's the full story!" I add, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. I don't even want to be reminded of it, honestly. Not that Simon's not a great guy, but we're just too alike to have a decent relationship. We make great best friends, but, other than that, there's nothing.
"Uh, Clary." Simon scratches the back of his neck.
"Truth." Safe choice, of course.
"Why do you like blonds so much?" Oh, that question.
"Because I'm blonde," Jace smirks. Beep beep! Hear that? Cockiness alert. "But honestly, it's just an excuse. She doesn't like all blondes. There's this particular lad." He gestures to himself.
"Excuse me, I have to go and vomit." I glare at him.
"Hot guys do make you puke." Simon gazes off into the distance. He is brought back to the world as we know it when I clap my hands in front of him. "What? I'm not implying that Jace is hot! I'm stating the fact that you puked out of... what's the word... nervousness each time you saw this guy in eighth grade!"
"It was one time!" I protest, crossing my arms over my chest much like a kid would. Okay, it was twice. Three times. Not over seven.
"We're getting out of topic. Now, why do you like blonds?"
"I don't like blonds," I mumble, staring at the floor.
"Clary, you swooned over Tom Felton. Guess what he is? Blond!" Ah, that one again. How many times do I have to explain it?!
"I like his eyes! There was this one close-up!"
"Okay, sure. Let me list some actors whose hotness you faint over: Chris Zylka, Alexander Skarsgård, Drew Van Acker, Ryan Gosling. What are they? Blonds." Wait. Does this mean that I like blonds?
Damn, I like blonds.
"Okay, you got me, I like blonds for some reason that I can't explain."
"This isn't even an answer, but I've embarrassed you enough, so..." Simon, come to die.
"Oh, you think? Jaida, truth or dare?"
"Truth."
"Would you kiss the person next to you?" On her right is Jace, on her left is Raphael. I think her answer is a no-brainer.
"Well, considering Jace is that person, sorry, but no. Raphael..." She smiles. "Nah, not a chance."
"Someone got rejected." Aline smirks at Jace.
"It's not rejection if I never asked her."
"It's still rejection."
"Aline, the poor guy has been tormented enough," Helen says, laughing a little. "He's been rejected twice in a month."
"Twice?" I raise my eyebrows at him. "Is someone losing their sexy blond mojo?" Someone, slap me. "Not that you have such a thing," I add quickly.
"So I have a sexy blond mojo?" He grins.
"Did you not just hear me?"
"Nice cover-up, Fairchild. I think it'll be in the newspapers. Clary Fairchild admits that Jace Herondale has sexy blond mojo." He has a smug look on his face and I'd really like to slap it off him.
"Who rejected you? Except Jaida." To the flames the smug look goes!
"I don't know. Jones's doesn't count, anyway, but I don't know what they mean." He gestures to Helen and Aline, who both smile.
"You'll figure it out on your own." What's creepy is that they said it at the same time. Wow, The Shining much?
"Uh, Jordan! Truth or dare?" Jaida breaks in. I mentally thank her for that. What was I thinking? Sexy blond mojo?
"Dare."
"Um... Call a random number and freak the owner out."
"Piece of cake." He has a very, very wide grin on his face. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and dials a number.
"Hey, I threw the body in the lake. What's next? Oh... Is this Bryan? No? My bad. Oops." He presses a button and ends the call. "See? Easy as pie."
"I never understood that saying," Jace says, looking thoughtful. "How can something be as easy as a pie? A pie isn't a game of chess, it's a food."
"Oh, that was sooooo philosophical." I place my hand on my chest mockingly.
"Jonathan. Truth or dare?" Jordan asks.
"Dare."
"Kiss Clary."
Three "WHAT?!"s are heard. One mine, one Jonathan's, and the other, surprisingly, Jace's.
"Wow, Jace, calm down, I'm not stealing your boyfriend."
"Well, good to know, but I'm straight."
"You guys, you have to do the dare," Sebastian tells me and Jonathan.
I look around the room. Simon's eyes are twice their size, Jordan is smirking, Isabelle is fighting to hide a laugh, Raphael is raising an eyebrow, Maia is looking at Jordan like he's the smartest person in the world, Helen and Aline are biting their lips (I guess to stifle their giggles), Sebastian is looking at Jace with his eyebrows raised, Jonathan is facepalming, and Jace, well... He looks like he's about to murder someone.
"Can't I, like, postpone it?" What a stupid thing to say, Clary. What a stupid thing to say. It's a dare, not a chore.
"No, you can't postpone it. Do it." Sebastian nods his head towards Jonathan.
"Ugh, fine." It's not like I haven't kissed anyone before. Yes, only Simon, but still.
I brace myself for it.
Jace
I'm not mad.
I'm completely and absolutely furious. And that leads me to something I don't want to think about.
Is it possible that I have a crush on her again?
Ha. Ridiculous. Please, that's downright hilarious. But maybe I still do. It would explain my anger. Or is that jealousy? No. No way in hell. That's dangerous territory I'm getting in. She's Clary. Clary Fairchild. Clary "Pain-In-The-Arse" Fairchild.
Oh, not again!
I clench my fists, trying to contain said anger. And then, I get an idea. With the flashing lightbulb and everything. "You never said on the mouth." I'm a genius.
"Jace, you're officially my hero," Clary says, turning her head to look at me.
"Anything for you, Strawberry," I reply, adding the nickname so she takes it as sarcasm.
"Um... Cheek?"
"Yeah." Jonathan nods.
Awkwardness ensues. I think I'll change my middle name to "Genius".
Isabelle
Clace is happening. Clace is so happening. I mean, Jace seemed like he wanted to rip somebody's head off! If that doesn't shout jealousy, then I don't know what does.
"Jonathan, can I borrow you for a minute?" I ask, nodding my head towards the door.
"Sure."
When we're outside of the storage room, Jonathan begins talking. "Jace seemed furious!"
"Of course he seemed furious!" I shout, slapping him upside the head.
"Ouch! What'd I do again?"
"You did nothing. On second thought, you and Jordan did everything." My mind is just chanting Clace Clace Clace Clace Clace over and over again. "Jonathan, my ship is happening!"
"Your... ship?" Of course.
"My ship. Short for relationship. It's when you want two people together, fictional or not. You're making Clary and Jace happen!" My smile is just too big for my face right now.
"Uh... okay? Now, let's go back in there." Ugh. Boys.
"Okay, then."
We open the door to something I had never thought I'd ever see.
A/N: CLIFFIE! You might be disappointed by it, though. I don't know.
I have been having major writer's block with this story. I would really appreciate it if you guys didn't stop reading because of the unfrequency (is that a word?) of the updates. I'm starting to write another story so the writer's block in this one can fly out the window. I haven't posted it yet, but it's not TMI, so, yeah. But I might start a TMI one, too. You never know. I don't know when I will update again, but I will try to do it once a week. Maybe on Fridays. Again, thank you for being so flipping awesome and not being harsh.
And another thing, I have edited the earlier chapters. I'll post them this week.
Can anyone recommend a couple of TMI fics for me? I'd love to see what you guys read.
Have a cookie if you can guess what the reference is this time. It's not subtle, is it?
Now, off to bed! Pip pip! (Or not. Off to a nightclub? To the beach? Just where are you guys?)
-Marianna