Title: Simple Tensions
Part: 10/?
Author: Naisumi
Rating: R (just to be safe)
Disclaimer: You've _got_ to be kidding...^.~
Archive: If you want, but could you tell me at least?
Warnings: Language
Notes: For now, Todd's going to be narrating from his memories; so it's going to be...like...in the present. Kinda. Instead of all, 'I remember' unless he was remembering something at the time. Sheesh. All this lack of synonyms is killing me T.T And yes, I know these chapters are really short ^^ But there's a reason
Additional Notes: NOT BETAD! ^^
Enjoy, and please give me C&C!!!
"blah." People speak
-- uh...scene switch
--
I know I should've gone to visit Freddy first, but I just couldn't bring myself to go into that darkened silent room. Maybe it was because I felt bad for saying horrible things like that; things that made Lance look like I had just undone all his hard work without giving a damn. Maybe it was because I just couldn't stand to have Freddy hear but not listen. Or maybe it was because I was a coward.
Pietro would be awake. Pietro would talk. Pietro wouldn't leave me alone in the emptiness of my own thoughts...
I felt so selfish. But part of me--the shameful part of me that I had buried away along with liquor-scented breath, tobacco-stained teeth, loving hands turned traitor--part of me wasn't willing to be strong like Lance needed to me, like he was trying to be. Part of me didn't want to talk about how sad it was that Pietro couldn't see. Part of me wanted to shrink into myself, to forget about everyone else's problems.
That part of me was the part that I had been running from.
Maybe it was because I had been trying to be selfless so the selfishness had had time to build up and create one huge paradoxal entity of greed and shameful self-absorbedness that was beginning to corrode at my soul.
Or maybe it was just because I was scared.
I reached Pietro's room and burst in, startling a wayward nurse whom had been busy ignoring Pietro's complaints concerning service.
"'etro?" I called, still feeling too strange and self-involved to glance apologetically at the nurse, who left after probably giving me the mother of all nasty looks.
"Hey, Todd." Pietro waved slightly, probably unsure of where I was. I glanced around before forcing myself to walk over to his bedside, squelching the urge to hop and cover more distance.
"How are ya?" I tried to smile but I think it came over more like a trembling half-grin, half-grimace. Pietro didn't say anything for a moment; just tilted his head to the side and listened. Then, he asked,
"Where's Lance?"
I shrugged before I remembered what had happened. The memory of it raced through me like a landslide of ice in my veins, and I shoved it out of my mind even as I replied out loud,
"He's dealin' with the X-freaks."
The words didn't come out the way I intended and Pietro arched an eyebrow, his hands folded in his lap and countenance strangely calm.
"'X-freaks?' What'd they do to piss you off?" he asked teasingly.
I flushed uncomfortably, "I meant 'X-men,' yo."
"I'd say it'd be safer to use the former around here," Pietro said almost lightly; the only sign of tension was the slight tightening of his clasped hands.
I looked at him, and wondered where the hyperactive spazzmatic quasi-albino teen I knew had gone. He wasn't even flipping out about not being able to see.
I guess that had been the straw that broke the camel's back. After all this time, Pietro must've run out of energy; run out of the emotional fuel that enabled him to make a big deal out of everything. It seemed as if the fight had left him, as if his soul was as vacant as his eyes--as if he were ready to take whatever the world dished out to him because it didn't matter anymore.
Then I remembered saying the same thing...
'What, or else you'll kill me? Go ahead! Doesn't matter to me...'
God, I felt bad.
"How's Freddy?" Pietro asked, his fingers now clenched around the bed sheets.
"I don't know," I replied softly. My throat felt too tight and I still felt like shit for what I had said back in the hallway.
"I came to visit you first."
Pietro smiled sadly, his blue, blue eyes not-quite-staring at the wall,
"You should go keep him company, Todd."
I nodded, then said after a while, "Yeah. I guess."
When he didn't say anything else, I stood up and went to exit the room. As I was leaving, I heard Pietro whisper,
"Todd...you're a good kid, Todd. I'm glad we're in this together..."
I walked down the hallway, my eyes on the floor.
I've never felt worse in my entire life.
~tbc~