Left with the information imparted on by our Crimson SOLDIER, what decision would you make at this point if you were Tifa?

I thought the actions in this chapter unfolded very naturally. I hope it reads as such. On a humorous note (along with a tiny glimpse into my mind), my PR complained that there wasn't any sex. I explained that Tifa wouldn't just jump into bed with Genesis after her discovery of his past without a bit of thought. The response was "this is fanfiction! Of course she would!" Not in my mind, though. Harumph! Don't we all love the story that's wrapped around the erotic?

For the reading and reviews, thank you!

Enjoy.

fire mystic

Contemplation

Dinner was a quiet affair, from the first sip of the drink she had requested to Genesis ushering her out of the small dining area, refusing her assistance to clean up. She had no idea what the grilled meat was that he served, but it tasted as delicious as it looked and smelled, and what little conversation there was consisted mostly of her surprise at his cooking skills and his pleased reaction, both at her surprise and her pleasure.

To Tifas surprise, the predominant lack of conversation during dinner wasn't uncomfortable. She was pleasantly surprised by the delicious meal, and was grateful for the reprieve from the seriousness of the day. She took the time to think over many things Genesis had spoken of earlier, and Genesis seemed comfortable and content to leave her mostly to her thoughts.

"I want see it all again. I want you to take me through the facility again." Tifa made the request of Genesis quietly. He raised a skeptical eyebrow, but led her back out through the building, shadowing her as he had earlier that day. It was slower this time.

Tifa opened doors she hadn't opened before, turned on lights here and there, and inspected various rooms, all without saying a word. Genesis worried about her apparent lack of reaction, but let her take her time. Finally, she stood over another of those tanks, staring down into the murky depths at what had, at one time, been a human being.

"Niebelheim was my home. I grew up there. My family was there. Sephiroth destroyed it all."

It was an attempt to show him how profoundly the events he had spoken of effected her; she hadn't meant to accuse. Yet she saw the pain flash across his features, a physical manifestation of the emotional blow she had unwittingly dealt him.

"I need to go back to the inn, Genesis. I need to sleep on this. I need…time."

Mouth set firmly, he nodded once.

"Of course you do."

Back at the inn, he walked her to the door, where she slipped out of his duster, which he had wrapped around her before she got on the bike. She handed it to him, watching him swirl it around and shrug into it. He reached out to lay the palm of his hand against her cheek, long fingers gently stroking into the hair surrounding her face.

"Sleep well, Tifa. You know where to find me." Pulling away, he seemed to think better of it and leaned in to place a soft, chaste kiss against her lips.

He turned, walking away, not looking back.

As he drove away, Genesis was thinking that may very well be the last kiss they shared.

Tifa was thinking about the way it had felt wrapped in his coat, too large for her small frame, but warm and comforting; she had huddled down in that warmth, surrounded by the scent of a man who, despite what she knew about him now, still made her feel exceptional.

She knew he wouldn't visit that night. She knew she wouldn't see him again until she chose to. She curled up in bed that night, her mind full of images from a very long day, the very dark past of this enigmatic man she had met, and the memories of her own past. Her mind was full, but there was an emptiness within her; a hollow feeling left by his absence.

She slept fitfully that night. Awakening frequently, it seemed to take forever to get back to sleep, and when sleep finally came, so did the distorted and endlessly shifting dreams and nightmares. Niebelheim, the reactor looming theatrically over the little town, a monster set to crush the life out of her childhood. Sephiroth, a powerful swirl of black and silver spinning through and sweeping life away with him. Her father, sitting at the kitchen table, laughing and eating breakfast, and then a sudden shift to the image of him lying dead on the ground. Her, standing in one of those laboratories, surrounded by all those tanks filled with experiments from the past.

She woke suddenly, half expecting to look around and find herself in the laboratory from her dream. She settled as she took in the room, dark and quiet, the curtains moving gently with a bit of breeze. She checked the clock for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. Five o'clock. It wasn't worth going back to sleep.

She took her time getting showered and dressed, and then sat in the chair that had last been occupied by Genesis and let her mind wander through and re-sift the details of his past. She had no doubt he had told her the truth. What would have been the point of making up a story where he clearly painted himself as a villain? He certainly hadn't been intending to build himself up in her eyes, and he was emphatic that she not feel sorry for him. Her thoughts twisted and turned around his words until, out of her confusion, she came to only one clear conclusion.

Whoever he had been in the past, whatever he had done, the Genesis she had met this week was no longer that person.

But what had happened?

It was the first time it had occurred to her, and now she wanted to know what had caused such a change in him.

The sun was well up when she finally made her way out of her room wandering through the house to the kitchen, where she put on a kettle for tea and helped herself to one of the cinnamon coffee cakes Minna had left on the table from breakfast. She hadn't been sitting at the table more than a minute when Minna appeared in the doorway. Tifa couldn't miss her hesitation, and knew that the older woman's instincts couldn't miss Tifa's strange mood. She gave her a warm smile to let her know that her presence was welcome, and Minna took the chair opposite her at the table.

"Things didn't go as well as you hoped, did they?"

"It's not that," Tifa replied with a small sigh, thought crinkling her brow. She was grateful to have the woman to talk to. Maybe someone outside the situation could help her get some perspective.

"Minna, how would you feel if you met a man that you thought was wonderful and who made you feel special, and then found out about a…dark secret from his past?"

Minna studied Tifa's face for quite a few minutes. "I take it there is more to this than the fact that he was with SOLDIER."

"You knew?" Tifa couldn't hide her surprise.

"Goodness, Sweetheart. We may live in a small town in the outskirts of nowhere, but we're not totally ignorant! For Gaia's sake, you don't see men like him every day! The eyes alone would give it away."

Tifa couldn't help the blush of embarrassment. "I didn't think, Minna. I didn't know you realized…"

"Oh yes. From the moment I saw him. The uniform is unmistakable as well."

"And you didn't think that was terrible? That he was with SOLDIER?"

"Terrible? Why? I was too busy being happy for you." She held up a finger in a waiting gesture as she stood to get her own cup of tea. Sitting back down with it, she took a small sip from her mug. "You weren't happy when you came here, Tifa. It was like there was a storm cloud hanging over you, one that had rained on you one too many times, but refused to go away. When you came back that day, after you met this young man, it was like the sun was finally peeking around those clouds, like you finally had your silver lining.

"I don't know anything about this man you have met except that he made you feel like that, but I do know that when someone makes you feel that way, it shouldn't be refused without careful consideration."

Tifa noted that Minna's face had set into a serious frown as she spoke.

"You're speaking from experience, aren't you?"

Minna waved a dismissing hand in the air.

"Not my own, but I have lived a long time and seen many things."

"And you think that what I feel should outweigh what I know about his past?"

Minna took another sip of tea, turning to look briefly out the window. "It is not what I think that matters. It is what you think, and what your heart tells you that matters. What does your heart say?"

Tifa studied the grain of the wood that made up the tables surface.

"It says that the man I've met is not the same person he was before. Does that make any sense? Listening to him talk about his past was like listening to him talk about a previous life he was remembering."

"Did he mention what might have caused such a change?"

"No," she replied, still trying to puzzle out why it seemed he wanted to show her only the worst of him, making no excuses, giving no explanations. "I didn't think to ask."

"Perhaps finding the answer to that would help in your decision."

Tifa was lost in thought, staring at a distant spot somewhere over Minna's left shoulder, but she managed to nod once in acknowledgement.

Minna waited, watching the emotions flickering across Tifa's face; thoughtfulness, sadness, grief, confusion, compassion. But she left Tifa to her emotions; let her feel them, sort through them. Minna knew that Tifa needed to do this, so she simply watched and waited.

Tifa couldn't do this. It had always been so easy for her to trust her emotions, her instincts, but thinking back, it had always been when she was helping someone else. Until now, her big insights had always been for someone else's benefit, not her own, and now that it was about her, her instincts were betraying her.

Finally, her eyes still unfocused in thought, Tifa tried to clarify.

"I just…I don't want you to tell me what to do. I was just hoping you could give me some perspective."

Minna understood that. She would be looking for the same thing if she were in Tifa's position.

"Perspective. Let me see. Perhaps you should ask yourself a few questions while you consider this."

That got Tifa's attention, her eyes once more on Minna.

"Like what?"

Tifa listened carefully, reflecting on each question Minna came up with, simple questions that wrapped around the information she already had churning in her mind. Did Genesis ever do anything to hurt her intentionally? Could she put herself in Genesis' shoes? Understand where he came from, what he was, and why he did what he did? Could she judge him based on his past, a past that clearly haunted him? Did she have a right to?

What did her instincts tell her? What were her reactions when he was listening to him tell his story?

How did he make her feel?

Was that feeling worth understanding and accepting him?

"I don't envy you, Tifa." They had both been sitting quietly for quite a while. "I would be as confused as you, I think. But I must say; it must have taken a great deal of courage for this man to expose himself like this to you, to ask you to accept him despite his flaws. Whatever your decision, he deserves credit for at least that."

She left Tifa sitting there, deep in her thoughts, worried that she might have made it worse instead of better, hoping that the young girl could find the strength within herself, the strength that Minna knew was there, to let her heart lead her to making the decision that would bring her the happiness she was searching for.