8

A/N: I hope you've enjoyed this fic, dear reader. And yes, this is the second smutty installment. ;) Thank you all again for reading this fic. And now… the last chapter.

The other Draco and Ginny were enmeshed in the savage kiss on the bed, but he abruptly broke it off, as if he was afraid of continuing the connection. Drifting in the strange half-waking state, Ginny felt surprised at seeing that. She would have sworn that Draco could not bear to wait one more second before taking what she offered him. It took her several seconds to realize that he was trying to control himself, even with all the terrible pressures eating away at him. The dream-Ginny reached out for him, and the real Ginny could feel the instant when this Draco gave up the fight.

He sat in front of her, clenching his fists, and then Draco leaped on her. He was snarling something incoherent, swinging her round and shoving her into the headboard, seizing her waist so hard that it had to hurt; all reason had left him. Fear crossed the other Ginny's face; she clearly couldn't help it. Draco made one last attempt to shove himself away.

"Ginny," he ground out, "take your wand from the table and stun me. Leave me lying here- go into the other room. Please. Please. It's your only escape now. This curse will wear off by morning. But if you don't stop me, I cannot stop myself."

"I don't want you to stop," said Ginny. "Please. Draco go on. I… I want you to."

And those words broke the last of his willpower; the real Ginny could see it in his face. He grabbed at the younger girl's hips again, so hard that Ginny could see her counterpart wince. Then he threw her down so that she was lying flat on the bed, straddled her, and began tearing at her remaining clothes, pinning her under him. The sight of a Draco who had lost all control was frankly terrifying to Ginny, and she at least had more experience than the dream Ginny did. But even as he groped roughly at her naked body, Ginny could tell that he was doing everything he could not to hurt her. It was instinct with him, as surely as he breathed, deeper than willpower, deeper than control. If her other self had panicked and begged him to stop, Ginny thought that he would have forced himself to do it if it killed him. He cares for her, thought Ginny. For that other me… He really does.

But there was only so much that he could do. With a sinking heart, Ginny realized that she had been right. It wasn't a question of how hard this Draco tried to be gentle with this totally inexperienced Ginny. He had been driven almost to insanity, and there was no capacity for gentleness in him.

He ripped his own clothing off, and Ginny winced when she saw that his physical equipment was a perfect match for the adult Draco she knew. The younger Ginny paled, her eyes widening.. She struggled not to cry, bunching the coverlet in her hands, but she stayed where she was. He pulled the naked dream-Ginny beneath him and clearly used his last shred of sanity in plunging his fingers between her legs and bringing her to a swift, moaning climax. Still, he hesitated afterwards, looking down at the quivering girl. Ginny wondered briefly how the hell he'd learned that kind of iron self-control. There was something unnatural about it for any teenaged boy in the world she knew. But he had it. Even when he must be moments away from completely losing his mind, he hesitated before saving himself by hurting Ginny.

"Yes," the teenaged Ginny managed to gasp. "Draco. Go on. It's all right. Do it. Please!"

Ginny saw the last trace of control leave him. Then he fell on the younger girl, seized her wrists, and pinned them to the bed with one powerful hand. Without preamble, he shoved her thighs wide apart with his knee, fumbled down to pull her lower body forward, and wrapped her ankles around his back. He grabbed under her hips and yanked her even further towards him, and she cried out. Ginny guessed that he'd begun to enter her, and she hadn't been able to stop her involuntary cry of pain.

Unbelievably, Ginny still saw this Draco trying to hesitate after that. But her other self was having none of it. She scooted up on her own, forcing her hips against his; he took over in a relentless forward motion, and then he was all the way between her legs and the deed was done. Ginny's heart sank as she saw a distorted grimace flash across her younger self's face; she could only imagine what this moment was like for this Ginny. She had guarded her virginity for so long, she had bowed to all the rules and strictures of her culture when she'd wanted to let go of them for years. And now, the innocence she had so carefully saved was suddenly gone.

And she had not given it to the boy she'd dreamed of for so long; Ginny somehow knew it. This Ginny had given up that dream, seeing it for the sham it had always been. Yet still, this was so far from what she'd always imagined her first time would be. No matter how willing she was, no matter how much she'd finally wanted this to happen with Draco instead, it had to be a painful moment in more ways than one.

"Oh, God, no," Ginny heard the real Draco groaning beside her. "He didn't. Please… no… he didn't. She didn't. Please, tell me it didn't happen like this.."

The teenaged Ginny sobbed, struggling to muffle the sound in the curve of his shoulder. Ginny saw the agony on the dream-Draco's face, even as the utter pleasure of his possession warred with his own sort of pain. At last, he stiffened, cried out, and shuddered against her. He lay on top of her for a long time. Then he rolled onto his side, and he lay very still.

The other Ginny was still crying helplessly, letting the tears fall onto a pillow, and the dream Draco's face filled with horror. "Oh gods, what have I done?" he whispered.

"It's… it's all right," the dream Ginny was saying, reaching up to touch his face. "Draco, it's all right, really, it is."

He flinched back as if she had damned him instead of excusing him, and Ginny saw the guilt that would never, ever leave him.

The dream, of vision, or whatever it was, faded into nothingness, and the real Draco and Ginny were left lying in bed, staring at each other.

"So that's it," said Ginny. "They had sex that one time, but I think… I think that was the end of it. Their relationship, whatever kind of relationship they had, was over. Her entire family hated him, I think… but mostly, they couldn't begin to get past the disaster of their first time."

Draco nodded. "He was eaten up by guilt after that. He never really forgave himself. The funny thing is that nobody thought him capable of guilt. What a strange, sad life that boy must have had."

"She forgave him, or maybe that's not quite it… she knew that there was nothing to forgive. He didn't have any choice but to act the way he did when he took her virginity," said Ginny. "But he never believed it." She hesitated. "You feel who that Draco was in some way, don't you, just like I do with that Ginny. Was he like you?"

Draco rolled his eyes. "I really hope I'm not such a miserable jerk. He had his reasons, though… But he loved that Ginny. He really did."

Ginny caught her breath. Draco rolled over and kissed her lips, as lightly as the wings of butterflies.

"What are you doing this weekend?" he murmured.

She smiled. "I didn't really have any plans yet."

"We could have picnics outside. We can walk around and plan your landscaping business, your nurseries… my architectural renovations will need landscaping, you know. We can do business together."

"You as a business partner. That sounds like a great idea." Her arms went around his back.

"But then we'll separate business from pleasure," he said, his hands sliding up under her robes. "So let's spend the rest of the time in bed. I don't even know how many bedrooms there are in the mansion, but let's see how many we can find. How does that sound?"

"Draco Malfoy, I like the way you think," whispered Ginny. Her last thought before losing herself in sensual pleasure was that she really, really hoped that other Draco and Ginny were able to find the sort of happiness that was now within her grasp.

July 12, 2002

Wizarding London

Ginny sat at a table in the corner of the Charing Cross Road Starbucks, sipping at her iced caramel latte. It was one week after the events in the Minister's office. The spell had worked, and they had awakened next to the desk. That was all she really remembered with any clarity. The events that had taken place in that other world were such a confusing jumble that her mind threatened to fall apart every time she even tried to remember them.

"I want to talk to you," Draco had said to her as she stumbled out into the street. He reached out to steady her. It was the first time he'd touched in almost five years, and at the feel of his fingers on her arm, she almost fell on the ground. He pulled her up.

"Um… thanks," she said. Let go of me, let go of me, I'm going to fall apart into a sobbing mess if you keep touching me, and every word will be never stop, Draco, never stop touching me again…

As if he'd heard her, he did let her go.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

"Mm-hm."

He studied her with sharp silvery eyes. "I will never let you fall, Ginny." His words were almost harsh, uncompromising. There was nothing soft about them or him. But she felt his steadiness, and she heard the promise he was making. She had no idea why.

"Please, Draco. Not now," said Ginny. She hesitated, then softened her words a little. "I'm just completely done up. Next week, okay? We will talk, but not now."

He nodded, not pushing the issue, and then he stiffly walked away. She watched him leave, his elegant carriage, his perfect posture, his head held high.

He's so unlike that other Draco, she thought.

That thought had not left her during the week that spanned then and now.

This Draco was very, very different. She still didn't have truly clear memories of the details of what had happened in the other reality, but she did remember that a yawning gulf separated this Draco from the other. But maybe that's what my Draco could have been, in that life, she thought. Oh, gods, what am I thinking? My Draco? Ugh. I've been hopelessly influenced by that other Ginny. Her Draco was happy and sweet, and if I'm thick enough to expect sweetness and light from this one, then I deserve whatever I get.

He'd owled her, and she'd rolled her eyes at his refusal to use anything as Muggle as a cell phone. But that was this Draco's nature, after all. She wrote in her reply that she wanted to meet him at this particular Starbucks, half expecting him to refuse. True, it was a joint venture between wizarding and Muggle businesses. They were only serving the magical community as of yet, which was why she thought there was even a chance of his agreeing. But drinking coffee at a Muggle corporate outlet still seemed like a stretch for Draco Malfoy. He had agreed, though, and now, she waited.

Colin scurried to the side of the bar that was closest to her table. "Psst. Ginny."

"Oh gods, not again," she groaned, really regretting that she'd let him talk her into holding the meeting at any location where he worked.

"Listen. Don't forget, if he tries anything with you, I'm going to hex him, and I don't really care what the Aurors do to me in return," he said in an exaggerated whisper. "Just say the word. No, you don't even have to say anything, because I'll be watching, and I'll be listening, and I've got my wand right here—"

The door opened. Draco walked in.

She had chosen a seat tucked behind a corner for this very reason, hoping that she could see him before he saw her, and she watched him. As always, he was cold and collected, at least as far as his outside appearance was concerned.

He went to stand in line just a bit awkwardly, glancing around at the snacks and cups and ornaments for sale rather as if they were unpleasant vermin. Ginny almost had to stifle a laugh. He ordered at the counter, not from Colin, thank all the gods, and he picked up a venti cup at the bar. Then he turned and saw her. If I was expecting a big reaction, I'd be pretty disappointed right about now, thought Ginny. But then, Draco's never really shown his reactions to much of anything, especially not since the war.

He sat at her table, his back to the wall, as was hers. This meant that he was sitting awfully close to her, of course.

"How are you?" he asked after a brief, silent moment.

"Oh, fine." Ginny took another sip of her latte. "You?"

"I'm fine as well." He seemed quite preoccupied with his coffee for a suspiciously long time.

"The Minister let me know that it was a complete success," ventured Ginny. "There's no trace left of, uh, Riddle."

"Good," said Draco, with surprising feeling. "That's the last thing anybody needs. And it's the last thing I want." He shot her a keen glance. "Does that surprise you?"

"Not at all," said Ginny. "I know that you wouldn't want anything to do with it… him… whatever."

"No, I certainly don't," Draco said softly. "But that's not what I wanted to talk about." He hesitated, seeming to turn over just how much he planned to say.

She raised her eyebrows. "So are you going to tell me any time soon?"

"Yes." He seemed to come to some sort of decision, and he leaned forward, towards her. She could smell the spicy scent of the soap he'd always used.

"I want you to know something, Ginny," he said. "With each passing day, I seem to remember a bit more about what happened in that other world. It's still far from clear, though."

Ginny thought about that. "I think it's been the same with me. I've remembered, or at least I've known that I'm able to remember more, but on the whole… I probably haven't wanted to."

Just the faintest hint of a smile turned up the corner of his mouth, the barest movement; she couldn't be completely sure that she'd seen it. "You're supposed to be the brave one, Ginny. I wouldn't have thought that you'd avoid the truth."

"I'm not!" she said indignantly. "That's the last thing I want to do."

"Is it," he said. "Then come with me." He got up, scraping his chair on the floor.

Ginny nodded and stood up. On their way out, she mouthed It's okay, don't worry, Colin, and hoped he understood her.

They went back to her flat in the small magical section of Tottenham Court Road. Colin wasn't there, of course, and she knew that he wouldn't be back for at least another four hours. They sat on the couch, each holding their coffee, and Draco finally spoke.

"I remember what that Draco and Ginny both saw," he said abruptly. "They both witnessed a dream, or a vision, or a memory, of the… the events that took place over five years ago, at Malfoy Manor."

She swallowed hard. "I know." This was the first time that either of them had ever spoken explicitly about that night before the war, and she had no idea where he was going with the conversation.

"I have something to tell you, Ginny." He looked at directly, and for an instant, she traced all the harsh, handsome features of his face. "I am more sorry than I can ever say about the incidents of that night. I wanted to tell you much, much earlier, but I did not. Could not, perhaps."

Well. That was unexpected. Or was it? Not the sentiment, maybe, but just the fact that he would ever say it.

"You sent those owls," she said tentatively. The ones I never replied to.

"Yes, but that was all. I could have done much, much more. I gave up far too soon; I didn't try to speak with you personally. I was a coward." He gave a short, sharp laugh. "Of course, that does rather sum up a great portion of my existence, doesn't it?"

"No, Draco. It doesn't," she said, feeling that she was on a bit firmer ground now. You've rebuilt Malfoy Manor; you've worked to clear your family name; you've kept going even though everyone is whispering behind your back."

"Yes, well—I was a coward when it came to this subject. I won't ask if you can forgive me. I have no right."

Ginny sighed. "Draco, you're being a little overdramatic, don't you think?"

He blinked at her.

"There's nothing to forgive." She measured her words very carefully. "I was willing. I knew what the experience would be like. Yes, it was a bit frightening, yes, you hurt me, but there was no way that you could have avoided any of it. There was nothing else that you could have done. Well, you could have gone mad, but I wasn't about to allow that to happen."

Draco knew all those things; she could tell that by only looking at him. So she went on to tell him what he did not yet know. "I did it, not because I felt sorry for you, but because…" She looked away. "Because of something I didn't understand then, something that only made sense when I saw it through the other Ginny's eyes." She stopped.

Ergh. Who's the coward now? Determined, Ginny plowed on. "Draco, I didn't want Harry to be my first anymore, not for a while by then. I wanted you. I wanted us to do what we did." She felt him start in surprise next to her; she went on. "Of course I didn't want it that way, but neither one of us had any choice about the way that our first time would happen. So I made the only choice that I was willing to make, to give myself to you, and you chose to take me. Yes, you did." She held up a hand to forestall his protests. "You could at least have chosen to refuse what I offered. And you didn't."

Draco let out a long, long sigh. Clearly steeling himself, he leaned close to her. Before he even opened his mouth, she knew he was going to say something uncharacteristic, something that she never would have believed she'd hear from him.

"I want to tell you something about that night. No, listen, Ginny, or I'll never find the courage to say it. There's something else, something that I didn't understand at the time," Draco said softly. "If you hadn't given me what you did, if we hadn't shared what we did, then I would not have survived. I don't only mean that I would have gone mad. I mean that I would have died, maybe by my own hand, maybe by stepping in front of a Killing Curse… I don't know. The Dark Lord had pushed me too far. I could not have risen back up on my own. But you, Ginny…" He picked up her hand, and as always, she was shocked at how warm his skin was. "You saved me. My pride nearly got in the way. But you didn't allow me to destroy myself. I can never, ever tell you how much that means to me."

"Then why you don't you try showing me instead?" whispered Ginny.

His beautiful, hard face softened. His head came down on hers. And then he was kissing her, lightly, his lips like the wings on butterflies, and then more intensely, but with a sweetness that flooded her body and soul.

They lay curled up together on the couch, her head against his chest, neither one of them needing more at the moment.

"There's one other thing," said Draco, in a voice so soft and open that she could hardly believe it was his. "Creevey was the same, in that reality. So were Riddle, and Bufflebuns, and all of our other counterparts, I suppose. You were very much the same, as well. You were, are, always yourself. But I… I'm different, aren't I, from that other Draco." It was not a question.

She nodded, running her hand along his neck. "Very. But then again, maybe not at all."

"He was what I might have been. What I might still become," said Draco. "Because I… I can change." He spoke in a rush, as if saying what had had longed to say for a very long time, as if simultaneously afraid of being heard and defiant of all the prices to be paid if he was. "I want to change; I want to become a better man. For you, for myself, I can do it"

"I believe you can," said Ginny.

"I don't know if I can ever quite match that other Draco's nature. He's kinder, I think. More open, more accepting. He was never the sort of miserable little bastard that I was as a child." He grimaced. "It certainly helped that he didn't grow up with this Lucius Malfoy for a father. His version was rather distant, not particularly warm, but he never had the sort of expectations and demands that my father did."

"It also helped that he didn't have an evil Dark Lord living at his house for a year, too," Ginny said dryly.

"Yes, I suppose so." Draco played with her hair as if it were spun of precious metal, winding strands around his long fingers. "But still. No matter what the reason might have been, he never fell into darkness in the way that I did. I envy him that."

"But you didn't fall, Draco," Ginny said softly.

"I think that I would have done if it weren't for you."

"Maybe; I don't know about that. But you fought the darkness on your own. You refused to give in to it. You have been tempered in fire, Draco, and you came through."

Draco smiled, a small but real smile, and Ginny's heart turned over at the sight. "Still. I do envy him. I'm broken; I'm scarred. He's not. I've done terrible things. He hasn't. He's so innocent, and he has an unstained conscience. I don't think I've ever had one."

Ginny stopped him with a gentle kiss. "But you're the one I want." She watched hope spread over his face.

"I will be worthy of your trust, Ginny," he said, and she knew that he was making a vow. And as they kissed again, her heart soared, and she knew that whatever joy their other selves might have, it could not surpass theirs. Her Draco had come home, and of all the Dracos that were or might be, in all the realities that could exist, he was the only one she desired.

the end