Like everything about powerful men has always felt intimidating to you, the C&R building used to give you Goosebumps. In a bad way. But today, today it felt like your safe haven. Like right now, the hacker or Unknown or whatever his name was, couldn't touch you. Although if you were honest too yourself, you knew that there was probably no place where he couldn't touch you if he really wanted to. Best to shove that thought aside for now.
You knew that he might be dangerous, you've known it from the very start. But it hadn't felt that way. He had always felt like he was curious, at first, then growing more and more friendly with you.
But then he stopped sticking around you, stopped cheering you up in his odd – and to other people probably creepy – way of his. You thought that his real life was simply keeping him busy, but today was… you don't know how to describe it.
It felt almost sinister. Completely turned around. What happened? Was that his true self or…
The kind of thing that made your whole soul change, you knew what could do it.
Drugs.
Had he been drugged or had he taken them himself? And why did he reappear out of thin air after V's announcement? Something smelled fishy, even if you weren't able to piece things together just yet.
"Madame?" A female voice tears you from your thoughts.
"Uhm yes?" The woman at the front desk furrows her brows at you. "I said, that Mister Jumin Han is out of the office today. I am terribly sorry, but your appointment has been cancelled."
What? You ask her to say it again and she recites what she just said with an annoyed face.
That was odd. It wasn't like Jumin to cancel without a warning. It wasn't like him at all.
"Are you sure? I think he would have called me if that were the case. He's not the type to just cancel without saying anything. Did he tell you anything? Like, why he's not at work today?"
She looks at you, her eyes narrowing and her lips slimming down into a very thin line. You regret asking right on the spot. The woman smiles again but you can tell that it is fake.
"I am sorry, but the corporate heir's personal life is confidential. I can't just give it to one of his trainees. If Mister Jumin Han had wanted you to know, he would have contacted you in person. Alas, that is not the case so I can't help you."
You don't say anything; it wouldn't get you anywhere. So you just bow and turn around. When you start walking, you bump into a man with a needle striped suit.
"S-s-sorry. I-I sh-should ha-have p-p-p-aid more a-a-attention!" You hate your little nervous tick. Especially in situations like this.
You are still bowing and hope that he just continues to walk past you but just stands in front of you, waiting for you to stand straight again.
Come on, get your shit together! Just take his yelling, apologize again and get going! Don't annoy him even further by keeping your head down like a beaten animal.
It takes a few breaths more before you finally straighten your back. Bone per bone. You even manage to look up to face the – probably - angry man in front of you.
Jumin only stares at you. Then he slowly and subtly blinks at you as if you were a scared cat. And your body relaxes, even though you don't really know why? You were a human, not a cat.
He smiles. "Good morning. I apologize for being late, let us get going now." He holds out his arm to show you the way, even though he must know that you've been walking down this hall every day in the last weeks. But when you see the face of the receptionist, you realize that he's been doing it for the spectators.
The attention makes you uncomfortable, but Jumin is doing his best to shield you from the unwanted views by walking in front of you with his back for you to cover yourself behind.
.
.
There is no one but you two inside his office today.
"Excuse me. My father had something scheduled for me today, simply ignoring my personal work schedule. Which is why it was assumed that I wouldn't be in the house today. But cancelled his appointment. It was irrelevant anyways. But it is why there are no other trainees today, most of them are probably in other departments right now because of my presumed absence. I hope you don't mind?"
"Why exactly would I mind that?" You're a little baffled. You already felt like he was keeping other people inside the room because of you, but since he never said anything, you weren't completely sure.
He opens his mouth but closes it again. "Yes. I assume this question must have seemed strange to you. Let us get to work. I have… oh… It looks like I left the worksheets in my apartment this morning. I will tell Assistant Kang to go and fetch them for you. Please wait while I'll go and call her."
Something was going on. You look at him while he fidgets with his phone – like actually fidgets. Him. Then you notice that the tie he wore didn't quite match his shirt, which was even more unusual. Did he talk to V already? Or did it have something to do with the Glam Choi rumour? Are you allowed to ask?
"Yes, they probably lie on the desk inside my office at home. I will see you then. Good bye." He hangs up. Then he sighs.
"This is so inconvenient…" he doesn't say anything after that and both of you just stare at different corners inside the room. You hear nothing but the ticking sound of the clock at the wall.
You clear your throat. "It's amazing, you can't hear anything inside your office. It must be a really good place to concentrate." Oh yeah good. That wasn't awkward at all.
He looks confused. "Yes, of course. An office has to be a place where you can concentrate. Why would you want to have an office that is loud?" Both of you stare at your designated corners again. This was getting ridiculous. Something was clearly troubling him and you were part of the same organization. The RFA family, as V called it before. Family members get to ask if something was wrong, right?
You clear your throat again.
"Uhm-. Jumin. I-I can see that... uhm." He looks at you and all your confidence is gone as if it was never there.
It is as if he saw what you were thinking and quickly averts his eyes. "Yes? What is it that you can see?" His voice is stern as always, but it is lower than usual.
"y-y-you t-t-t-tie." You manage to say. He looks down on himself and sighs again.
"Yes, I see what you mean. It doesn't go well together with my shirt. You have a good eye. Thank you for pointing it out. I will call Assistant Kang and tell her to grab another tie for me."
"N-No. that…it wasn't what..." god, you felt so self-aware when you were talking to him. He waits for you to continue. When you don't say anything, he gets up and paces the room until he reaches the windows. Opening one. He is clearly trying to help you and the intention reaches your heart.
You breathe in slowly and exhale just as slow. Then you start again.
"Something is troubling you. I can tell." Good girl, you managed to say a straight sentence. Hooray to you.
He finally stops pacing and turns his back to you as he speaks.
"You mean, because I picked the wrong tie? You could tell by just that?" You nod before realizing that he can't see that. He chuckles. "were you just nodding right now?" you must have made a surprised noise right now because he chuckles again. "How cute. You are very observant. Just like Elisabeth the 3rd. She always notices when I am not feeling well, as well."
So he really did think of you as something akin to a cat. You are about to say something when you hear his voice again.
"It is true. My mind has been occupied this morning. Let me ask you this. If there were a woman that appeared out of nowhere on your doorstep and tells you that she is the fiancé your father had picked for you. How would you react?" Wait what?
"F- fiancé? That your father picked for you? Like an arranged marriage?" You can see him nodding from behind. Wow… you keep forgetting that things like that actually did still happen here.
"To be honest, I don't really know. I already told you that I've spent most of my life in Germany, yes? Well, there are no arranged marriages. You are supposed to marry out of love, not because your parents might get a good deal out of the marriage… So this question is a bid difficult for me… But personally, I think I would be furious. I think….I would feel betrayed? Like why didn't your father discuss this with you beforehand? I would feel like my personal rights were simply thrown away by the person who is supposed to honour them before anything else."
He is quiet after that. You are quiet after that. It feels suffocating.
You are about to apologize for your blunt – although honest – words when he speaks.
"I see. Thank you for saying what you truly think. It is appreciated." Then he turns around and he looks a little more like his usual self. As If he had made up his mind after your talk. You just hope that you didn't start something that you shouldn't have. But judging his face, you can't help but think that it was the right thing to do.
He sits down at the other side of the desk again when Jaehee finally enters. She bows before stepping into the room. You realize that you have never seen them interact with each other in real life.
"Mister Han, I've brought the worksheets and the ne tie that you requested. If you don't need me for anything else, I will take my leave again."
Jumin waves her over to him. "Thank you, Assistant Kang. Please call my father's assistant and schedule dinner together. It is probably too sudden for a lunch together, but we might still be in time to make an appointment for tonight. I need to speak with him. Tell him that it is urgent."
She hands him a bag and bows again before leaving, gifting you with a warm smile as she turns around. Jumin catches the little gesture and tilts his head the way he always does when he is trying to figure something out.
"I see that Assistant Kang started to like you, after all. Good, it is important that the members trust each other in order to work efficiently. You seem to do well within RFA." He is spreading out the papers on his desk while he talks and can't see you blushing.
"I uhm… t-thank you? I… still feel a bit useless as my sister is handling most of the work that Rika did. But thank you for saying that." You look down to avoid his eyes.
"Hmm… I don't think you are useless. I can see that you are working really hard. And it isn't always about the obvious things. Since the two of you joined, a lot of things have started to change. Before, we were growing apart, with every passing day. But now, it feels good to log into the messenger again. And I think that a lot of it has to do with you." He says it so casually that he could be talking about the weather and it makes you so nervous that you can't breathe properly.
"m-m-me?" He hands you a pen and you look up to take it.
"Yes. You listen, and you seem to see things beyond the surface. That is the work you and only you are doing."
And there it was. The iron man in front of that is letting his mask slip in front of you. Telling you that your existence was important to a whole bunch of people. It is too much, but there is no way to relieve your feelings here. So you just start counting inside your head to gain at least a certain degree of control over your emotions.
Jumin is still looking at you and you can see that he is trying to place the look on your face into his mental catalogue of human expressions in order to tell how you were feeling. You suppose that he has never seen someone wearing the expression that you were wearing right now. He looks a bit lost at the sight.
"Is, is everything alright? You look… different than before. Is this how you look when you are flustered?"
You've reached the point of total supressing your feelings inside of you and force one of those smiles that you've taught yourself in front of the mirror, on your face.
"Yes, I think you can say that. In way. Thank you for the lovely compliment. I will begin now." You start writing on the sheets right away, but you still notice that he continues to look at you.