J is for Jam

Rating: T

Genre: Humor

Characters: Mello, Matt, Near, A and BB

Mello groaned at his alarm clock and rolled over, slamming his balled fist down on several buttons at once. The alarm stopped and he grumbled, rubbing his eyes. Dull grey light filtered through the window, alerting the blonde to storms outside. No surprise there, considering that Winchester seemed to be under a constant blanket of clouds.

"Mmm... Mello... Suffocating here... Dying of asphyxiation... Get off!" a familiar voice called. Mello then processed that his bed was entirely too warm and he was laying on something harder than a mattress. He rolled back onto his stomach and looked over at his gasping redheaded roommate, who sat up and coughed a couple of times.

"Matty, which bed are we in?" the blonde said through a yawn. Matt got up and looked around.

"Uh..." he bit his lip and squinted. "I think we're in mine."

This was a common occurrence. Mello found solace in curling up in Matt's bed to study while the redhead gamed on his beanbag chair. They fell asleep together more often than not, warding off nightmares of whatever hellish existence landed them in an orphanage.

"I'm not missing breakfast again for your lazy ass, so get up," Mello growled through another yawn. He pushed himself out of the bed and blankets, ignoring their enticing call. Matt pulled himself onto the floor and to the wardrobe, sticking his head inside and grabbing a random shirt and pair of jeans. His goggles were on the floor, meaning someone had been flailing about in their sleep. Another common occurrence.

"Matt, where did this bruise on my arm come from?!" Mello shouted from the shower. Matt grabbed his goggles and brushed his hair in front of the mirror before the steam muddled it too much for proper sight.

"One of us was kicking about last night. My goggles were on the floor." The blonde sighed and continued rinsing his hair out.

Matt managed to evacuate the bathroom before the blonde perfectionist found himself in the mirror and began the odious task of doing his hair. Matt leaned back in his chair and played his DS, tuning out the raging blonde. Twenty minutes later, Mello appeared, dressed in black and looking as perfect as ever. Matt sighed. His time in the bathroom hadn't taken as long as it usually did.

Mello dragged his roommate to his feet and down to the cafeteria, forcing food down his throat.

"Matt, you have to eat! Now stop squirming!" Mello hissed while Matt struggled to look away.

"No! I usually have more gaming time before we come down here, so I have to make up for it! I'll be fine, I promise I'll eat more at lunch-if you come near me with that fork, I'll shank you." Mello sighed begrudgingly.

"You promise to eat at lunch? 'Cause I don't want to hear you bitching about being hungry later!"

"Yes, I promise. And shut your trap, I come and get chocolate for you all the time and you still bitch about not having chocolate." Mello scowled and bit into an apple slice viciously.

So commenced breakfast. They talked and badgered about mostly pointless things, pausing for a bit so Mello could glare at Near and mumble obscenities under his breath. They trekked to class, where Mello took notes and tried to focus. The teacher was almost offensively boring, and Mello rested his chin in his hand while trying not to doze.

His redheaded cohort snuck his handheld into class and played under the desk.

So commenced the morning classes. Matt slept in English, gamed in History and Psychology and spaced out in Mandarin. Mello took notes in each class, internally ranting about how boring the teachers were. When they were finally released, Mello had to drag Matt up from his seat and haul him to the cafeteria while the redhead babbled about how ridiculous the lesson was.

"Matt, you were gaming that entire time! How the hell do you know what the lesson was about?" Mello wouldn't admit that he was jealous of his friend. He was a genius, even if he wasn't trying. It was enough to irk anyone. Matt simply shrugged as he was sat down and a tray was shoved in front of him.

Matt held to his promise and ate his lunch, listening to the blonde vent about how stupid the teachers were and how they should be granted a better education because they were geniuses after all. All was normal. Too normal for an orphanage full of child geniuses.

Commotion began to rise in a corner. An argument was occurring between two orphans who were always so quiet. A and B were yelling about something, making wild hand gestures. Both looked stricken and distraught at the idea of fighting, but A was adamant about whatever had him irked.

In a wild gesture, A's hand hit B's, sending a rather large and still locked jar of strawberry jam onto the floor. The jar shattered and blood colored jelly flew everywhere, splattering those nearest the fighting couple. A clapped his hands over his mouth while B's face took on a disheartened look.

A certain white haired boy looked up as a splash of jelly hit his back. He stood slowly with his tray and walked over to the couple, looking up with his usually stoic features. He looked straight into BB's bloody eyes.

"You got food on my pajamas... This stain will not come out." His usually monotonous voice was twisted with anger. He scooped up a handful of mashed potatoes and hurled them at the raven's face.

The hall fell silent. All eyes were on the trio while B gaped. He slowly reached up and wiped the off-white side dish from his cheek.

"A broke the jar of jam," Beyond growled, scooping up a handful of the sweet. "Throw your stinking potatoes at him!" With that, he smashed the red treat through the albino's hair. Near's eyes widened almost impossibly while his jaw hung open. He turned and launched his tray at A, who blocked it and threw a bowl of soup.

Chaos unfurled. Food flew everywhere, with screams echoing on the walls. Mello ducked as a roll sailed over his head and felt a slight pull on his pant leg. Looking down under the table, he found a familiar tuft of red hair.

"Come on. Grab some food and get down."

Mello heeded the words and hunkered down with Matt, launching stray food at anyone who got too close. The fight raged on with other children getting under tables like the duo. The more reckless children who enjoyed demolishing things threw themselves in the midst of the action, hurling food and beverages and getting coated in lunch.

"Stop this!" a stern voice yelled. Everyone froze and turned to the caretaker, wide eyed. Students that hadn't started it skittered away. "Who is responsible for this?" Roger asked the silent room. For a few seconds, the silence held. Then a young girl in pigtails stepped forward.

"Near started it. B dropped his jam and it splattered on Near, so he threw some mashed potatoes at B."

Roger looked stunned, glancing at the albino who nodded in affirmation. Roger looked back over to Linda.

"Miss Linda, are you sure you don't mean Mello and Matt?" Linda nodded.

"Yes Roger, they didn't do it. When it started, they got under the table over there." She pointed to the aforementioned piece of furniture and the old caretaker looked under the table where Mello and Matt were peering out warily.

"Alright then..." Roger said, sounding almost disappointed. "Near, come to my office."

Mello and Matt exchanged a glance and a high five before climbing back into the wreckage.