The Three Stupid Musketeers Chapter 10: Christmas Hell Part 2, a super smash brothers fanfic

The Three Stupid Musketeers

Chapter 10

Late Christmas Special Of Hell

Part 2: Christmas Shopping!!!!

Narrator 1: OoO I gotta text message!

Narrator 2: Don't you feel special.

Narrator 1: I do! not

Narrator 2: ...

Narrator 1: Ohhh now you're doing the "dot dot dot" thing

Narrator 2: Come here Piggy! Let's do this thing together!

Narrator 2 and Piggy (unison): ...

Narrator 1: Whatever, on with the show

Piggy: ..-

Chop

Piggy's Ghost: Every freakin' time

In Part 1, Marth made the idiotic mistake of telling a raw chicken eating elf, a gullible pyromaniac teen, and a hulking monster-villain dude who dreams of becoming one of Santa's "little" helpers that Santa was not real. We go now to where the hotel...or at least what is left of the hotel.

All that is left of the hotel are the crumbling walls full of holes from people repeatedly thrown through them, the burnt floors and stairs barely intact, and all the doors except for the front door to the hotel was ripped off of their hinges. The front door was hanging limply open, and the little doormat that said 'welcome' now said 'DANGER'. Also, there were pools of water all over the place. This was the doing of 3 people; Ganondorf's strength that threw Marth through the walls (hence all the holes), Roy's fiery sword, which burned through the floors and stairs, and Link's weirdness that made him rip off all the doors for no apparent reason. The pools of water was from Ganondorf and all his baby-ish crying and stuff. We now witness Roy and Ganondorf fighting on the bottom floors, while Link and Marth were wrestling eachother through the walls.

"SAY IT!"

"NO!"

"SAY IT NOW!"

"NEVER!"

"SAY OR I'LL SCREAM!"

"YOU ALREADY ARE SCREAMING!!!!"

"SMART-MOUTH!"

"DRESS WEARING ELF!"

"STUPID HAIR BOY!"

"STUPID ELF BOY!"

"I HATE YOU!"

"NO YOU DON'T!"

"FINE! I DON'T LIKE YOU AT THIS MOMENT!"

"NO DUH SHERLOCK!"

"MY NAME ISN'T SHERLOCK!"

"I KNOW THAT'S WHY I CALLED YOU IT!"

"SAY IT OR I'LL THROW YOU IN THE HOLE!"

"NOT IF I THROW YOU IN FIRST!"

Marth and Link apparently were not getting along. Over and over and over and over they were fighting about if Santa Claus existed or not. Link suddenly pushes Marth through the hole while Marth grabs the ocarina player down wih him. As Roy is cornered by Ganondorf, Marth and Link are falling through each floor from the top still fighting about their differences. As for Roy and Ganondorf, I guess they got bored and decided to make the fanfic more...uh...interesting I should say.

"Say good-bye punk!" Ganondorf sneers and is about ready to do his smash attack on poor Roy who is still whimpering by the corner, not wanting to get hit by an ugly man!!! As Ganondorf struck, Marth and Link came tumbling down and on top of the gruesome villian who was knocked out instantly and narrowly missed Roy who jumped out of the way at the last second.

"Good-bye!" Roy said happily skipping around like God loved him or something like that. With the three men knocked out, it was up to Roy to make things better. "Teehee!" Roy runs back up to Marth's room and grabs one of the markers where the calendar used to be and ran back down towards the three unconcious men. "This is for no good reason!" Roy said triumphantly and started to scribble and draw on each of his companions' faces. When he finished, he laughed for about ten minutes or so and then ran off to join the other evacuated members of the Super Smash tournament, who apparently left when the ruckus started.

Some hours later...

"Uhh...my head."

Marth opened his eyes, then closed them, then opened them again, then closed them again, then repeated the process like 10 more times before his vision finally focused and everything wasn't so blurry. What he was doing was called, "blinking". If you didn't know this, I suggest you start taking notes on it. Actually there was nothing really to focus on, just a screen of green...and it smelt horrible...Marth froze as he felt a warm gust of a breeze come out of the green screen.

"WHAT THE CRAP- AHHHHH!!! LINK!! GET YOUR BUTT OUTTA MY FACE!!! BEFORE I VOMIT ALL OVER IT!!!" Marth completely freaked out. He freaked out so bad, he threw Link across the hotel through all the holes in the walls and out of the hotel and around the world 3 times before Link came to a skidding stop back next to Marth again. "Ow"

Furious that Link would just go and sit and fart in his face like that, Marth turned to beat the poo out of Link, but stopped and, with a horrified cry, threw himself behind the still-unconscious Ganondorf and held him up like a shield. Link looked at him blankly.

"What's up with you Marth? First you throw me around the world like 3 times, then you start screaming at me!!" Link began to cry. Did nobody love him?

"Look-look at your face!!" Marth thrusted a broken shard of what used to be part of a magnificent mirror (probably Marth's) at him.

"Why is it always about my face?" Link grumbled as he grabbed the shard and looked at it. He was so suprised at it, and alarmed, that he threw it down and began attacking it with his sword.

"Wha-what are you doing!??" Marth spluttered as the shard was being broken up into a million pieces.

"I looked-smash smash- like a-some more smashing-weird crazy lunatic!!!!" Link looked up at Marth who looked completely terrified.

"Er...Link," Marth began, "You kinda act like it more than you look it but...ya, you're face seems to have streams of colors on it making you look more scary than usual." Just then, Link stopped and began to point at Marth profoundly and started to laugh like the time he saw Marth in his hearted boxers.

"What the- Link! Why are you laughing at me? I know the truth hurts but that doesn't mean you have to make fun of my good looks!" Marth said crossing his arms, averting his eyes.

Link let out a snicker..."Mmmf..ya, okay Marth!" Link managed to say before he fell onto the floor laughing once more.

"Fine!" Marth said, "We will see how you like it when I find out you're bluffing!" Frustrated, Marth took out his pocket mirror and opened it so he could see his beautiful-

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

GASP GASP WHEEZE WHEEZE...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Now can you see?" Link said smirking.

"I look like-I look like a-a-a-...a-!"

"Well come on spit it out!" Link said eagerly.

"I LOOK LIKE A GIRL!!!!!"

LINK: GASP

ROY: GASP

GANONDORF: GASP

NARRATOR 1: GASP

NARRATOR 2: GASP

EVERYBODY ELSE IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD: GASP

Piggy: ...What's so suprising about that?

Chop

Narrator 1: Wait a second!

Narrator 2: Hm?

"You look like a girl everyday!" Link said pointing at the crying...he-she kneeling before him. "I thought you looked more like a clown thingy." Marth looked up and glared.

"I am not a girl, nor do I look like one!" Marth cried out, hurtful and all sensitive and stuff. He finally stood up and brushed himself off.

"What I want to know is who did it!" Link thought, and thought, and thought some more, and thought a lot more, then thought till Marth started thinking too, then he grew gray hair as he thought, then ate a cheeseburger as he thought, then started singing as he thought then-

"I've got it!" Marth said, his finger pointing up in the air and stuff.

"The sky did it!" Link said in awe, "I figured it out too!" Just then Marth threw a piece of rubble at the elf.

THONK

"Owwww, why'd ya do that for?" Link said rubbing his head gently. "That hurt!"

"It was Roy you moron!" Marth yelled at Link who was utterly dumbstruck

"Ohhh..." Link said finally. Suddenly Marth grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the hotel.

"Where are we going?" Link asked the girly-looking Marth.

"To go find Roy!" Marth replied. "And I'm not girly-looking!"

When the two had left, everyone sorta stood around, then they got bored, and because the hotel was ruined and there was nothing to do, they all left...

Several hours later...

"Wow I feel like crap..." Ganondorf finally awakes after being in something like a sort of short coma. He got up groggily, and looking about, found that he was completely alone...it was dark...the moon was out...wolves were howling in the distance and owls hooting as well...

"I'm...I'm all alone..." Ganondorf sniffed. "Hey what's this?" He picked up something shiny off the ground, and peered into it; it was Marth's pocket mirror that Marth had left behind accidently because he was thinking too much to remember it. As he looked into it, he saw a hideous monster!! With a yelp he dropped it and cowered for a bit, thinking there was a monster living in the mirror. Finally he picked it up again, and looked in it again, and finally realized it was his reflection he was looking at.

"Everyone left me...'cuz...'cuz I'm a monster!!!" Ganondorf began to wail and cry and stuff and there was lightning and thunder and that half-eaten cheeseburger of Marth's and all that stuff that is scary. "WHO DID THIS TO ME!?" He suddenly spotted some gray hair's that looked like Marth's and on the back of the pocket mirror was Marth's name. "MARTH, I VOW THAT I WILL FIND YOU, AND WHEN I DO, I WILL THINK OF SOMETHING HORRIBLE TO DO TO YOU TO MAKE YOU PAY!! LIKE, DRAW ON YOUR FACE WITH A MARKER OR SOMETHING." Ganon howled at the sky, which didn't care at all for what the hideous man had to say, so it brought some storm clouds over and stuck Ganondorf with lightning.

"Ow"

Meanwhile, back with Marth and Link and their hunt for Roy...

"Marth...you know how it's gonna be Christmas and stuff?" Link asked as they walked across town in search for Roy.

Marth slapped himself in the head. "Oh man! I totally forgot about Christmas!" He looked towards the sky and saw the moon was up and the stars were scattered across everywhere. "Tomorrow's gonna be the twenty-fourth!"He grasp Link's shoulders and started to shake the elf madly. "And we haven't done any Christmas shopping yet!" He let go of Link who was dazed and moaned like he was gonna be sick.

Link patted Marth on the back. "It's okay buddy, I'm sure we'll think of something." Link said trying to cheer up his friend. The marker make-up was washed off due the constant times Marth needed to use the restroom and everything seemed the be restored except Roy was just missing in action! As they walked up and down the streets in search for Roy, Link noticed a certain store open.

It was DungMart!!!!!

Link let out a cry of shock. He ran towards Marth who looked down in the dumps and tugged on his shirt/armor. "Marth! Look look!!! DungMart is open!!!!" Marth gasp and turned to see that sure enough, DungMart was open! This was the perfect time to go Christmas shopping.

"Let's go!!!!" Marth said gleefully and together they skipped towards the store until Marth stopped abruptly and turned back towards the ruined hotel. Link paused, slightly confused.

"Marth? What's up?" Link asked.

"Roy." Marth answered dully. "Roy's still out there, and I don't want him to cause anymore damage to the town!" Marth lunged out and took out his sword. Link finally did the same. Turning around towards Link, Marth shook his head. "NO"

"No what?"

"You can't come."

"Why not?"

"Christmas shopping remember?"

"Oh right!" Link put back his sword and headed off towards DungMart while Marth went the opposite way, in search for his pyromaniac friend/ irritating clingly spider thing.

"I'll meet you back here alright?" Marth called back to Link who still hadn't entered the store yet.

"All right!" Link called back. And with that, Link bravely entered the store.

Narrator 1: Alright, now that Marth's outta of the picture for now, this is Link's time to shine!

Narrator 2: I needa get my banner that says "GO LINK!"

Narrator 1: But...you don't have a 'Go Link' banner!

Narrator 2: Wha-

Narrator 1: You have a 'Go Marth' one remember?

Narrator 2: Oh right...haha Link is so unloved!

Narrator 1: Sigh tell me about it

This was a dangerous mission; strange people wearing the same clothes were everywhere!! All of them were smilling and wanted to talk to him for some reason. Maybe they though he had something important...like...his magical ocarina...or...maybe his secret stash of candy. Yes!! That is it!! They wanted his candy!! But how could they have known? He made sure it was as secret as possible! Plus the prices here were outrageous!!!

Flashback...

Link had purchased a bag of jellybeans which had cost him a ridiculous $6.50and was walking out of the store when an officer type person came up to him and stopped him.

"Excuse me sir, have you paid for all of your purchases?" He asked simply. Of course Link has paid for all of his stuff, so he answered yes.

"Are you sure you are not trying to steal any candy?" The man asked again. Link was getting irritated now, so he simply showed him his receipt.

"Then...what is THIS?" The man reached for a bulge in Link's pocket and pulled out a bag of mashed, warm and melted candy.

"AAHHHHH!!! YOU FOUND MY SECRET STASH OF SECRET CANDY THAT IS SECRET!!! HOW DARE YOU TRY TO STEAL MY SECRET CANDY!!!" Link in rage attacked the poor man who was just trying to do his job.

Back in the present...

"Hello sir, do you need help with anything?" One of Dungmart's employees asked him politely.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!! NOT MY SECRET CANDY OF SECRETISM OF SECRETNESS!!!!!!! NOO, YOU CAN'T HAVE IT, IT'S MINE!!!!!!!"

"What the crap-please sir, calm down, all I-"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"

Narrator 1 (almost falls off of chair): WHOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Narrator 2: stupid

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

3 seconds later...

We see Link running away pushing a cart full of random gifts and presents, while behind him Dungmart was burning, completely demolished. The poor guy who, in Link's mind, tried to steal Link' secret stash of secret candy that is secret in secretism of secretness is lying under the rubble somewhere...

Back in the town...

"Roy!!!! Roo-oooy!!!!" Marth was calling randomly trying to see if any other stored were open, that way, he could get some gifts for his...wait, did he even count these people as friends? Shrugging the thought off, he continued to search for Roy. That was until he saw a store open that seemed like a decent place to shop for Christmas presents! Smiling in relief he went inside calmly, that was until he saw Roy in there beating up the only employee working there, a fatty old bearded man who was sceaming as Roy was trying to set him on fire!

"Com'on old man!" Marth heard Roy yell. "Show me watcha got!"

"No please! Get away from me! Help! 911! HELP ME! I'M BEING ATTACKED!" But everybody was sleeping, so they didn't care what would happen to the fatty old bearded man. Poor fat old bearded man.

"Roy!" Marth said angrily shoving Roy off the storekeeper who started to cry. He looked up at Marth and screamed as well.

"Take anything you want! Just PLEASE, DON'T HURT ME!" The man squealed and made a run for the exit, and thanfully, Marth allowed the poor man to do this. Slowly Marth turned around and saw Roy on the ground rubbing his sore head. Roy took one look at Marth and smiled weakly.

"Uhh...hi Marth! Fancy seeing you here-Eep!!!" Marth grabbed Roy by the scruff of the neck and looked at Roy angrily.

"Where have you been?" Marth asked darkly.

"Well, uh...funny story actually, but um..." Roy was sweating a lot, which Marth could see that the boy was scared, but Marth didn't really care all that much.

"See after you took that painful fall on Ganondorf," Roy began, still sweating nervously, "I got scared and fled and madesure to tell Master Hand what happened to the Super Smash Mansion. After that, I decided to let you and Link wake up by yourselves and then I decided to go Christmas shopping for you and Link! Then, nobody would let me in for god knows why, (Marth rolled his eyes), until this store but then that icky old man told me they were closing up and I got angry Marth! I really did! It was all for you though!!!" Roy made puppy dog eyes which made Marth roll his eyes in disgust. He finally dropped Roy and went down the aisles to look around for presents. Roy scrambled to his feet and began to follow Marth.

"Sooooo, have you gotten any presents for our fellow Smash contestants yet?" Roy asked as he stayed his distance away from the angry swordsman.

"I had Link get them." Marth answered flatly taking a look at the mirrors they were selling.

"Wait...but Link said that Santa was supposed to bring them!" Roy contradicted annoyingly. Marth stopped and turned to glare.

"Roy how many times have I told you...THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS-"

"MARTH! ROY!" A voice called in the distance. Roy and Marth turned to see Link dashing towards them with a big heavy bag on his shoulders smiling excitedly.

"Link!" Marth said gawking at the bag. "How did you get all these gifts?" Marth asked him. Link shrugged.

"Let's just say I got a 100 discount."

Suddenly the T.V. behind the counter started to get really loud so the swordsmen decided to see what was going on on the news.

"izzzzzzgggggggffffff-"Dungmart fzzzzzgfffhat-detroyed...I repeat Dungmart has been destro-"-

WABAMM CRASH SMASH QKUDFJQWKDQJHWFMWDK!!!!

"Well...how bout dinner everyone?" Link said standing over the T.V., Sheela in his right hand, "my treat!"

Marth slapped his head and Roy cheered!

Narrator 1: End of Part 2!

Narrator 2: (pokes Narrator 1 in the belly)

Narrator 1: Nooo, my tummy-bleh!! (barfs)

Narrator 2: ewww!!! (barfs)

Narrator 1's mom: What is going on- (barfs)

Piggy: (barfs)

Link: holy sh-(barfs)

Marth: Oh no-(barfs)

Roy: Yey!!!! (barfs)

Everyone that is reading this: (barfs)

Your mom: (barfs)

Your sister (or sibling or cousin or dog): (barfs)

Bird outside window: (barfs)

God (or whatever you worship, like a tree or something): (barfs)

THE END

(BARFS)