A/N Thank you for your reviews, alerts and favorites to this story. I haven't forgotten the other stories, and will be updating the others from Sunday onwards. However, this is a christmas story and Christmas Day will be in the next chapter...and for those who haven't noticed...It's February...so I figured I should get this out of my system.

I am glad that most of you are enjoying this...it is for you guys that I write. THANK YOU ALL.

Chapter 10

Marty lay next to Callen and Nate looked down at him, "I thought you guys brought him new clothes the other day?" he said looking Marty up and down.

"We did why?"

"His pants are too short?" Nate said pointing to one of Marty's legs that was sticking out at least two inches from his pants.

Callen raised his eyebrows, "Is that normal?" he asked.

Nate gave a quiet laugh, "What about any of this is normal?"

"Do you think whatever it was is wearing off?" Kensi asked looking over at him; he did look older than he had been just two days ago.

Callen opened his cell phone and sent a text to Nell and Hetty letting them know of Nate's theory.

"Do you think we should ask him some more about Fern?" Callen asked turning back to Nate.

Nate shook his head, "Deeks coped with it fine before, I am more concerned with his state of mind if he's going to start growing, I mean, we don't know if this will wear off quickly of over a period of time. He may have to go through puberty again."

"Poor kid." Callen said. "What can we do?" He asked his jaw set, as he had expected things were starting to change.

"I honestly don't know, there really isn't a precedent for this Callen." Nate said as the child stirred in his sleep with a small groan, "I would assume as he is starting to grow he'll be in some pain, do you have children's Tylenol?" he asked.

Callen nodded, "Nell picked up a children's first aid kit when I offered to take Marty in." He told Nate as Kensi got up and walked into the kitchen.

"So why did you offer to take him in?" Nate asked when they were alone.

Callen shot him a glare, but Nate smiled, "Kensi will be a while, you promised me three sessions; three no-holds barred question and answer sessions, you never said when I could start." Nate pushed.

Callen sighed and shifted so that Marty's sleeping form was more comfortable.

"I did…go on then." He capitulated.

"Why, of all the people who would have taken Marty in, why you?" Nate asked.

Callen looked down at him, "He was alone, I've been alone…I didn't want to take the chance that Hetty would put him in the system."

"With what happened I don't think Hetty would do that, why did you think she would?" Nate asked.

"She did with me…" Callen said quietly. He took a deep breath; "You know she's been a foster mother, she was part of a program, for orphans, Hunter, Sullivan, Stevens…me…" he waited and was surprised when Nate nodded.

"She told me after the Stevens' incident."

"You know she fostered all of them…but Deeks…his childhood was broken, like mine…she didn't take me…I didn't want Marty to suffer the same fate, he needed, he deserved some good memories."

Nate sat back saying nothing, Kensi walked in handing him and Callen a coffee, "I'll take him to bed." She said, she lifted him and carried him to his room, where she sat with Marty as Callen and Nate continued talking.

"So," Nate said as Kensi left with Marty, "You fostered Marty so that you'd have some good memories." Nate said.

"Didn't say that Nate." Callen gave him a smirk, "Not at all, I did it so Marty would have somewhere safe to be while he…recovered, grew up…whatever's going to happen,"

"He is growing up Callen; you bonded deeply with him though."

"No." Callen denied it shaking his head.

"He's a young boy all alone in the city, no parents or family…you bonded, ok," Nate held up his hands as Callen started to rise from the chair, " You didn't bond, you empathized with him." He said changing his words.

"I'm his team leader; it's my job to look out for him." Callen said stubbornly.

"Sam has kids and a wife, he could have taken him in, Kensi is a woman, Marty likes her and she's his partner, she'd have taken him…Hetty would have taken him in," Nate stopped at the look of pain that crossed Callen's face.

"That hurt, why?" Nate asked.

"Forget it." Callen snapped.

"No-holds barred, remember." Nate pushed.

"Not this." Callen snapped. "Back off from this Nate."

"No." Nate knew Callen wouldn't shout, he wouldn't risk waking up Marty.

"Please." Callen asked.

Nate looked at him, "I didn't want to push, but it seems to be tied directly into this." He said honestly.

"Hetty wasn't there for me, she knew about me, she'd known about me since I was five, and you know she knew my mother right?" Callen asked.

Nate nodded, "She said."

"She got me out of the orphanages, I just assumed she didn't foster me because of her work, it was too dangerous, it hurt when I find out years later, she knew about what happened in those homes. But I coped with it, because she couldn't have me; not that she didn't want me." Callen stopped and stared into his mug, fighting the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him.

"But then you found out about the others, Hunter, Sullivan and Stevens."

"She fostered them all Nate, some for a while, some for longer…but why not me," Callen's voice broke, "She didn't want me, I'm good enough to fight but not good enough to be…" Callen rubbed his hand over his face schooling his features and his emotions.

"I didn't want Marty to feel like that, I didn't want to give her the chance." He said quietly. "He's a kid he deserves a chance at a few days of happiness, he deserves…"

"What you never got?" Nate supplied for him.

Callen stood up and paced the room, "I just wanted…for a while…" he couldn't form his thoughts into words, "You know I was floored when Marty called me Daddy…it was…nice…I wanted that, just for a little while, is that wrong? I never told him to call me that, I didn't want to screw him up, I just wanted to see if I could do it." Callen leaned against the window frame and watched as the lights came on in the street.

"To see if you could do what, be a father?" Nate asked.

Callen shook his head, "Be a family." He sighed "I know it's stupid, I'm not made for family life, Hell Hetty knew that when I was five." He slouched back into the couch again.

"Maybe Hetty hoped you had family out there, she knew about your mother, but not your father, maybe she didn't adopt you because she was hoping your father would appear and claim you." Nate reasoned.

"Yeah and that worked out great." Callen said sullenly. "I may be getting it all wrong Nate, I may not know how to be a parent, but right now Deeks needs someone, he needs someone to look out for him and make sure he doesn't get hurt. Someone who wants what is best for him."

"And when he goes back to normal?"

"Then I'm his team leader, he's our liaison. Life goes back to as close to normal as it ever gets with us." Callen said. He smiled a bit thinking this was a lot like a déjà vu moment.

They stopped as the sound of a car pulling up outside interrupted them.

Nate got up, "You ok Callen?" he asked.

Callen gave a curt nod and stood up, "I…I need a minute," He headed out to the backyard.

Within moments Nell was there she didn't say anything, she just wrapped her arms around him and held him.

"Did…Did Nate say anything?" He asked concerned.

"No…Just that you needed me." He turned and held her closing his eyes and breathing in her scent, centering himself in the safety of her arms.

"I do…I always do." He said

She smiled, "How's Marty?" she asked while they were alone.

"Growing," Callen said looking at Nell, "Nate noticed, he's grown at least 15 centimeters since this morning."

"Oh…I hope he's still young for the morning, I brought some things for tomorrow." She said cryptically.

"Are you going to tell me?" he asked with a smirk.

Nell shook her head, "Nope."

Callen took her hand and they both walked into the lounge where Kensi had joined them.

"He asleep?" Callen asked.

"Out like a light, Monty is asleep at the end of the bed, he won't leave him." She told them.

Hetty looked at the worry on their faces, "Mr. Getz, how is young Mr. Brandel?" she asked.

"He is growing, mentally and physically, I don't know how old he'll be tomorrow, of even if he'll be any different, but he remembered about his sister." Nate informed them.

"I have to go; I promised my mother I'd be there." Kensi said looking at the clock.

"Give my regards to Ms Feldman. Ms Blye. Have a merry Christmas." Hetty told her.

Kensi smiled, "Thank you, I'll be back as soon as I can Callen." She said as she turned to go.

Callen shook his head, "I'll keep you informed, you spend the time with your mother." He told her.

"You sure?" Kensi asked.

Callen smiled, "Go, I promise not to break your partner while you're gone." He joked.

Kensi laughed and waved as she walked to her car and left.

As the others left Callen sat on the couch with Nell and told them what had happened with Nate.

Nell held his hand and listened silently.

"You would make a great dad," she said to him as he confessed his worry to her.

"You think so?" Callen asked the doubt evident in his voice.

Nell snuggled into his side, "I know so," she smiled, not voicing the thought that was running through her head.