Shen was lying in his small den, trying to patiently wait for Po to come so he could learn about this inner peace, but it has been tedious for two hours after Po had given him his dinner. He tried to entertain himself by grooming, and he tried to evade from any particle of dust touching his feathers. This is so boring.
He tried other ways to make waiting progress if not the least bit exciting. He played with his lance once or twice. He fixed any dents on the metal plating of his talons. He got up and did a small workout of doing cai li fo by himself, which was what he did before lying in a ball now.
He sighed to himself. When is that panda coming? He narrowed his eyes in disappointment.
He examined himself, seeing that he's still clean, but still groomed for no reason anyway. I have to look best for my inner peace lesson. He thought, being a perfectionist. He felt uncomfortable being in one lying position and was dying to move. Since there was nothing to do, he stubbornly turned to one side, but he leaned on something hard and jerked to his feet at the sudden touch. He glanced at where he laid and saw nothing at all. What the heck pierces me?
He looked if anything was stuck to him that he probably sat on, but he found nothing on him or his robes. He heard a clicking sound as he continued moving about searching himself. He sought where the sound came from, finding out that it was beneath his robes.
He dug his wing inside his robes where the clothing touched his chest and found something on his side. He caught it and took it out. It was a blue and green bracelet. He remembered holding it after setting an uncautious Fan down two nights ago. He examined it.
The decorating beads were only simple pebbles that were possibly found in a stream, smooth and round, and they were painted a bright and calm blue and light sea green colors. They were arranged in a pattern: blue, green, blue, green, blue…
He found three Chinese symbols that represent his soon-to-be-student's name, Fan Ni Sha. He already knew before that Fan possessed this bracelet, but cursed himself now that in the two times that he was with her already; he forgot to give it to her.
I'll give it to her next time. He vowed. If I forget again, I will pluck one of my train feathers out. He cringed at the mental vow. I better remember next time…
He took another look at the bracelet. For some reason, he cradles the small piece of jewelry carefully, as if it were valuable jade or a beautiful diamond, yet it was made of only painted stream pebbles laced together with a simple string. He stroked the pebbles with his feather and saw no indication of wear. The paint was clean and permanent and strong.
"Hey, Shen." The panda's voice broke through just then, like a calm pool of water being splashed by an interrupting intruder. The peacock shoved the bracelet back inside his robes before the panda would notice.
"Panda!" he bit, hoping that he's not blushing the slightest bit. "I waited a long time! What took you so long?"
"Look Shen, chill," Po said in a quiet voice. "And quiet down, too. You can wake up China with that loud mouth of yours."
"But—!"
"Low voice!"
Shen stared at the panda before the tips of his mouth curved into a feigning grin. "Right; low voice." Then returned to his aggravated expression, whispering loudly, "What took you so long?"
"I was a little busy, but better late than never, right?"
"I don't have time for your cheesy fortune cookie philosophies. Are you going to teach me or not?" Shen said annoyingly.
"Of course I am. But here's not the place." Po said.
"Then where will you teach me?"
"We're going to hike."
Shen's eyes widened at the word. "Hike?"
"Yes, haven't you been hiking before?"
"I can't say I have," the peacock growled. "But why can't I fly?"
"Because then you'd have to take me with you."
"Take you? Certainly not!" he said, shutting his eyes stubbornly. "There was no way he's hauling up 500 pounds of panda fat.
"Then we're walking."
Shen shot his laser eyes dumbfoundingly at the panda, already leading the way to the training location. He figured if he acted even more stubborn, he would get what he wants, so he stood where he laid, closing his eyes again with a humph. A couple seconds later, he looked behind him and the panda walked even further. He filled his cheeks with air and exhaled the air out. The panda will notice me still here. He'll give up. He looked away again, acting superior on his ground. He took one last quick glance behind him and saw the panda already gone.
His eyes widened and he groaned. He ran in the direction he saw the panda was going and looked all around. His surroundings were dark and gloomy; the trees painted moonlight blue, drying fall leaves jade blue-green in the monochromatic blue forest. He started to panic and gasped as he looked around in every angle to find no panda at all. He ran in different directions like a chicken with its head chopped off, frantically desperate to find the panda. He left me.
He ran in another direction, hoping that the panda would somehow magically emerge and he would stop this madness. He began panting hard and worriedly turned his head around numerous times.
Then something caught his shoulder. His eyes glowed its red laser color and reacted quickly, swiftly reaching for his lance beneath his robes and pointed towards his stranger and yelled.
"Whoa, Shen! Slow down!" the silhouetted figure said. "It's just me."
Shen felt relieved when he saw the intruder step into the calm moonlight, only revealing that it was the panda.
"FFFF—PANDA!" the peacock whispered loudly, angrily putting back his lance inside his robes. "Don't do that!"
"Do what? I was only leading the way." Po said calmly.
"But you left me!" Shen replied with his piercing red eyes.
"No, I didn't, Shen." Po said, lowering his brows seriously. "I was just showing you the way. You were just acting stubborn like you always do."
"Stubborn?"
"Have you even met you? I'm doing you a favor, what's your excuse?"
Shen paused at the last comment. His eyes widened. W… Was I being stubborn? Am I always this way?
"So that's what you think of me."
"No, Shen, I—"
"Save it. I knew you still had bitter feelings towards me." He said, turning, guilty to even look at the panda. I feel so weird.
"If I did, I wouldn't give you a second chance, Shen." The panda said apologetically.
His back still facing Po, he lifted his head at what he said.
"I know it must be very hard for you, but the most important step of gaining inner peace is by relaxing yourself. You've been so stressed lately. Haven't you noticed that?"
The peacock lifted his wing to his eye. He can already feel the skin of his eyelid growing a little saggy when Oogway made it youthful. It was like what he's doing right now; taking advantage of opportunities and letting it fade. He was abusing his promise, and he should fulfill it fairly.
"Shen, let me help you. I promise you, I will never underestimate you. I know that you can be good. Anyone can. It's just a matter of trying and finding the positive way of it." Po said with kindness in his voice, something Shen never heard towards him. "It will be worth it in the end."
He ceased stroking his eyelid and gazed at his blackened leg. It was something in the past, something he despised and hated about the pandas. And now, that enemy… has honestly come to him as a friend. All this is so weird to him and he didn't know what to do or how to respond. He figured he would say something wrong, but inside him was feeling stunned and warm. He never felt like this before. He had the same feeling, but a bit stronger with Fan. Something about Fan and Po made him realize that they may be very influential and they could be the best people to help him.
"Okay." His voice cracked. He cleared his throat with a loud grunt and repeated, "Okay."
"Just trust me. Even though I shouldn't, I already trust you." Po added.
He trusts me? He's given him too much; he thinks he doesn't deserve any of it. After all the accusations he's heard by Fan earlier today, he regretted demanding her trust. She did too much for him as well. But if she and Po were willing to give their trust to him, why would he argue. They want to help him, so be it. Or, Po would help him. Fan may help him, probably, since she is most likely an expert on how friendship works. He wants to get rid of his pushy behavior, if not just his stubbornness, to fulfill his promise of living.
"Are you coming?" Po asked, taking a first step on the path to where he's leading.
Without hesitation and no boasting and whining, Shen turns and follows Po.
…..
They walked for an hour up a mountain, Shen gasping for breath. Everyone's not perfect, and even though Shen tried not to, he complained once about how far the trek was, but that was about it when it comes to whining. He kept himself quiet during the walk and only spoke when Po asked him questions. He was mostly shy, although he didn't know why, when the conversation led to Fan. Po was talking about the guests' first day of training today and he talked about each guest's performance and when he came to Fan, Shen told him that he already knew about the predicament.
"So now you're going to train her?" Po asked, grinning with his face forward so Shen wouldn't see his smug look.
"Yes, but I don't know how I'll do it. I'm exceptional at my skill, but when it goes to the subject of teaching, especially to a woman, I'm lost." the huffing peacock explained.
"Huh," Po said, nodding at his comment. "Well, I'm sure that teaching me kung fu was pretty hard, too. I mean, look at me."
Shen glanced at Po and raised an eyebrow. "Your point?"
"I'm a fat panda." Po clarified.
"Ah…" he didn't get where this was going. "Of course."
"When I came to Shifu, he had no idea how to train me because of my… massive awesomeness." Po explained, holding a proud look on his face as his paw rested on his thick stomach. "But he managed to find out how to teach me in a way that I can understand; through food."
"Did he, really?" Shen asked, trying to sound interested. He focused his sight on the moon shining luminously. He then randomly wondered how Fan would look in the moonlight. He already knew that she looks gold and aqua green in the morning sun. She may look silver and midnight blue in the moonlight, her silky-looking feathers looking like stars shining against her. He then remembered those brown eyes of hers. Fiery and fierce when she's agitated, but warm and soft when she's content or nostalgic, like when she talked to him earlier today. How would they look in the night light? His focus went back to Po after thinking such fluffy thoughts. Don't think like a teenage boy.
"I'm sure you'll figure out something when you train Fan. She looks like she can be some potential." Po said contently.
"I hope so."
"Here we are."
Shen looked around and was finding himself fascinated by the structure of what is surrounding him. Po led him to a shadowy grotto where the water gurgled and babbled deliciously as it flowed down a small stream. The moonlight struck at the gleaming fresh water, glimmering like shining stars and disappearing into the small lake below. On the rocky wall of the grotto stood a stone dragon, looking intimidating and powerful with its threatening pose, its elongated arms protruding forward, as if it were to catch its prey. It had expressive, angry eyes and its teeth were sharp and jagged. I'm supposed to find inner peace here? But nonetheless, he found the place interesting.
"It's… peaceful." Shen said.
"Well, of course." Po guffawed, jumping across the rocks half-in-the-water. "To achieve inner peace, one must be in a peaceful place."
"I see."
"Yep, and this place is pretty inspiring." Po said. He was going to step on a rock until his foot missed its target and he was sent slipping into the cool, calm water, interrupting and responding with thick ripples.
"Inspiring." Shen mumbled as he stared at the soggy panda.
Po emerged from the water, grunting as he climbed on an algae-covered rock in front of the threatening stone dragon. He shook himself until he was damp no more and every strand of fur on his body was dry.
"Now, I shall teach you." Po said, pretending as if he never fell in the water.
"Let's get to it then, panda." The peacock said as he hopped on a few rocks, but stood a bit away from the panda so he could give him some room.
He looked at the panda with eager wide eyes, hoping that he'd get something out of his first lesson. He felt like a child at his first day of school. Here we go, Shen. You can do this.
"Okay, I remember that Shifu told me that there are two ways to achieve inner peace. In one way, you have to remain in a cave like this without any food or water at all." Po said.
So suddenly, Shen's stomach began to growl at that thought. No eat for a long period? Hell no.
"And the other way?"
"You find it by your suffering."
"I am a sufferer." Shen teasingly said.
"Well, before I tell anything, just watch and learn."
Shen didn't look away, and he saw the panda stand straight and still. He closed his black-stained eyes and inhaled and exhaled. Then, he flowed with time, or that's how Shen described it. He starts moving into a rhythm of smooth body movements and he does these moves as flowing as the water running down the grotto. Then all of a sudden, a single water droplet falls down and perfectly onto the panda's fingers and as if the two were dancing together, the droplet moved along with Po. All this amazed Shen, and he's surprised because he's already seen the panda do these movements when his fleet were shooting cannons at him, but for some reason looking at these same moves now, he feels that this time it's the most amazing thing he's ever seen in his life.
He knew that the extraordinary moment ended when the panda set the single droplet onto a sprout that happened to be sitting on the edge of the rock he was standing on and it lingered slowly down the stem and leaf and peacefully into the water. Inner peace.
"So you wanna give it a try?" Po asked as he turned to face Shen a few feet away from him.
"I'm sure I remember those moves." Says Shen, readying himself where he stood. He looked below him and spotted a sprout like Po's, only smaller. That's my target.
"Okay, just concentrate, okay?"
Shen only nodded in response, and went on and closed his eyes. He took in a deep sigh, relaxing his muscles and his heartbeat slowed to a content beat. So good so far. He started by mimicking the panda's movements slowly and steadily, trying so very hard to keep his focus on his inner peace. When the moment came to take the water droplet on his feathers, he couldn't hesitate to open his eyes. The water drop gushed at his feather in his failure.
"Don't worry, Shen, we mess up. Practice makes perfect."
With that, Shen let out a disappointed sigh, but told himself to keep himself together and attempted to try again. He does the moves again and catches the droplet on his feather; feeling the cold water travel fluidly across his wing and making it slide back to his other wing, never opening his eyes. He's confident that he'll get it this time, knowing that this droplet is like a teacher telling him to keep going and is so far pleased with his efforts.
But then something flashes his shut eyes and he's tempted to open them to escape this odd reaction, but he persuades himself to keep his eyes shut or else he'd fail again. He tightens his eyelids to keep them shut and continues moving. But when he sees before him has him puzzled.
The room is lit with the beautiful golden morning sky shining in the Palace of Sacred Flame's window, the water of the nearby sea shimmering before the setting sun. The pillars of the palace are shining gold and glimmered warmly. The tiles were neatly waxed and smooth and bright.
In the throne room, the Peacock's throne was shining in iridescent colors and lights, making it possibly the most extravagant throne in all of China. Right next to this colorful throne was a tiny polar white peachick sitting, surrounded by small pieces of carved wood and paper. The peachick's interested ruby eyes lingered in one part in his wing and looked at the piece in the other, wondering where to put the pieces together. Next to him sat a familiar face. It was the Soothsayer, smiling down at the young peachick and watched as he pondered what to do next.
"What do you think, Nana?" the peachick asked in a sweet and innocent voice. He held up the pieces to the old goat and she took it into her small hooves. She took out her eye glasses to take a look-see at the young prince's work and pretended to look as puzzled as he was. Little Shen stood up from where he sat and loomed over quietly to the Soothsayer, seeing if she can figure out anything to complete the figure. She turned her eyes to see him leaning to see and he immediately flinched and blushed.
"Sorry, Nana." He said as his cheeks blushed.
"It's perfectly fine, young Shen." The goat said gratefully. "But I think I have found a solution to finish this."
The peachick gasped and jumped at the goat's feet happily. "What is it? What is it? Tell me!"
"Calm yourself, Shen. Here, see?" the Soothsayer said sweetly and gave Shen instruction of the right way to complete the set. When the pieces became one finished miniature boat, Shen beamed, a smile curving wide across his beak and he jumped on the goat in a warm embrace.
"It looks great, Nana!" he praised. "Thank you! What'll Dad think?"
"Why don't you ask him?" she said as she waved her staff behind the peachick. When Shen spotted his father, a strong peacock with shining royal blue, smiling proudly upon seeing his son this early, he hyperactively skidded in front of him, sending him the biggest smile he can express with his enthusiasm.
"Daddy! Daddy, look!" he squeaked joyfully. "I just finished it! Well, Nana helped me a small bit at the end, but I did everything else!"
His father picked up the small boat figure with his iridescent blue feathers and examined it thoughtfully with appreciation. "Wow, son, it looks lovely. Amazing."
"Yeah, isn't it?"
"Did you make this from a kit, or…?"
"No, I made it all myself!"
"And you say your miniature boat making's just a hobby." His father chuckled.
"Of course, Daddy. Fireworks are more fun to do."
"Well, tell you what. How about today, you and me, we build this boat, but bigger?"
Shen's eyes glimmered at his father's request. "You mean a boat the size of real ones? A boat we can be in?"
"That's what I said, son."
"Really? Today will be the greatest!" Shen laughed, running in quick circled with glee.
"Let's go out to the palace workshop then." His father said after he carefully picked up his son in his strong wings and placing him on his shoulder. "And when the boat's finished, we can bring out some fireworks and set them aflame in it."
"Can't wait!"
But then out of nowhere, one of the royal advisors, an antelope came in and interrupted the moment.
"Oh, I'm sorry, your Highness. I didn't mean to intrude…" he said nervously.
"It's fine. You need me?" Shen's father asked politely.
"Well, you're called to a meeting. It's about the wolves."
"Oh," father said disappointingly. He glanced at his son, not knowing what they're talking about. Saddened by the last-minute call away from his son, he set Shen down to the floor. He stared at his father with confused eyes. "I'll be there."
The antelope staggered away, leaving the peacock and his son and the Soothsayer looking at them. The goat's large eyes, locked with the peacock's, exchanging the same looks of sadness. The peacock lowered his head to his little boy, his Shen and took a deep breath.
"Daddy—"
"Son… I'm sorry, but…" his father cut off, not knowing which words he must say next without hurting his fragile son. "I just… I'm sorry, Shen. I promise, I will make this up to you."
Little Shen looked down with a frown. He was really looking forward to this day, as if it was a special gift, but now that gift has been taken away from him. He sniffled, but he composed himself not to cry in front of his father. "I thought that we—"
"I know, son…" the peacock said angrily to himself, but he calmed himself down not to scare his child. "It's hard…" He looked up to face the Soothsayer again and gave her a pleading look.
"I'll take care of him, your Highness." She said contently as she walked forward to the peachick. "You go on."
"Thank you." He said, and then returned his gaze to his child, his red eyes glassy with incoming tears. "I promise."
He stood up and walked away with melancholy with Shen watching him go on. The Soothsayer rested her hoof on the forlorn peachick's shoulder gently, as if soothing him, but it didn't seem to help.
"Don't you worry, Shen. You must understand that they'll be busy." She said quietly.
"It's not that, Nana." He said in a shaky voice. He raised his head to look up into the goat's eyes, tears already streaming down his cheeks and said, "He didn't even say 'Happy Birthday' to me."
The last thing Shen saw was the Soothsayer holding onto a weeping little Shen and soothing him with silent and comforting words. The warm colors blurred like watercolors and changed to night colors of blacks, blues and whites.
Still keeping his eyes tightly shut, he growled at what he saw, what his father never did with him, how he teared up after. He opened his eyes and only to worsen what already happened, his water droplet missed its mark and splashed into the lake below him. I failed.
Enraged, he kicked the water with bristling force, creating thousands of interrupted ripples and waves. Po looked at him uneasily and called for him to stop, but the angry peacock continued his furious acts.
"Shen, cool down! What did you see?" Po asked frantically hopping on several rocks to reach Shen.
Shen continued shouting blasts of profanity at himself, only the sound of water splashing and sloshing covering up his words of loathing. Po managed to get a foot close to him, but he was taken aback when Shen accidently splashed water at him, making him slip and fall. Shen didn't bother helping him and went on with his angry state. When Po emerged from the water and stood up again, he grabbed Shen into his thick arms and turned him to face him. Only then did Shen stop the water splashing, but he continued throwing words of insults at himself and his parents.
"Now, you stop there, Shen!" Po said, forcing his beak to shut with his pudgy fingers. But Shen shook his beak away from the panda's grip.
"Why? And let my dad get away with what he did to his own child?" he said spitefully.
"Shen, slow down. We can figure this out."
Shen didn't want to figure things out. He didn't want to think. He didn't want to think of his father. He didn't want to think about what he did to him. As a little kid. Disgust filled up inside him like a flood, making him forget instantly of what he and Po talked about earlier, of his interaction with Fan, about the day but what he saw in his mind. He didn't want to talk about it at all. Just thinking about it now brought him aghast. He didn't want to tell the panda what he saw. He doesn't want to see anybody now. Without warning, he expertly grabbed the panda's feet with his talons, lifted him into a spiral and swung him away to make his escape, flying down to his den acrimoniously. The panda picked himself up and spotted the peacock's unfolded train gliding above the trees, an advantage that Shen uses not to be seen. Po called repeatedly to him, yelling "hey" instead of the peacock's name.
But with every call, Shen ignored. He made it to his den and curled up into a pitiful ball in the corner, now having the dismal freedom of crying as he as he started weeping under his wing. It's hard…