Kyurem the Critic – The Violet Islands part 2
(Pokémon Creepypasta)
(Kyurem is looking slightly bored as he sits in his chair)
Okay, I'm pretty sick of this Creepypasta already, so let's just get this all over with.
So Blue was shot in the head, and Doctor Dave reveals that,
Doctor Dave: On the Violet Islands, if you lose a battle. You lose your life. We only allow the strongest people here at all times.
Why? Just why? Why would you only let the strongest people on the island? Wouldn't that be bad for advertisements?
Come on down to the Violet Islands where if you're sub-par, you're not worthy of life!
Why doesn't everyone on the island just leave, if there's a constant fear of death?
So our author talks to the various people on the island, even though common sense suggests that this isn't an Easter Egg from Nintendo. Especially if you got the game off a random website you found while on a sub-par Minecraft server.
The people on the island all seem happy to be here for some reason, except for one little girl with a teddy bear.
I talked to her and Dialogue started.
?: They kill people every day… Inhumanely… I am Senc, if you want to know. I've lived here since I was born. Seeing at least five people shot a day, most people visitors…
Senc: Please help me...
Now we get a description of the girl. Pity drum roll, please!
(A Cryogonal comes out, rapidly tapping on a snare drum)
I looked at the poor girl's sprite, what made it worse was lots of bloodied marks on her face and arms. Obviously showing that she had been abused, perhaps for being a weak trainer. Her eyes were slightly glazed over, with a lavender like irises. Her head was slightly tilted to the left. And her mouth was cracked open in a sad frown.
Okay, besides the obvious pity the author is trying to make you have, how can you see all that detail? It's not like you're in a battle or something.
Or maybe you are! Maybe you're in the middle of defeating this girl so she dies! That definitely wouldn't be above your character!
I turned my sprite around and walked towards the door, right before walking through it Senc ran up to me
Senc: NO!
Senc's sprite hurtled towards me, probably wanting to go with me, and the game emitted a loud *BANG* sound again,
(A large group of Cryogonal are flying around, all of them beating on different kinds of drums)
This has absolutely no relevance to the plot other than to drum up pity. It's even worse than Pokémon Channel, and half the story was just to drum up pity!
but this time it was a bald-headed man (You know that sprite) behind her.
Most people wouldn't, but I would guess a roughneck. Also, you seem awfully calm for someone who just saw two people die in the game, one of them being a main character.
Senc fell to the ground, a pool of blood around her body. I nearly screamed "NO!" at the game for the poor little girl. The man walked up to me, dialogue.
?: Hi! I'm Duke. Sorry about my daughter, she was sentenced to execution though, no biggy!
(Kyurem has nothing to say, just putting his head in hands and groaning)
He turned around and walked to the table. Disturbed by this
But you're not disturbed enough to, I don't know, turn the game off and maybe throw it away?
So the heartless author goes to the Gym, where he meets Gym Leader Thea.
Now, why would someone want to be a Gym Leader on this island? Gym Leaders take their job knowing that they will have to lose at some point.
So the author battles the gym leader, who has the exact same team as Blue, but in reverse. The author is clearly not getting lazy.
…I need one of those sarcasm notifying things…
So he beats the Gym Trainers, then he beats the leader, yadda yadda yadda, and then this scene happens.
I walked off the elevator a "CRSHHH" noise came out of my speakers, as Thea came crashing onto the floor from where I had just been, on the elevator. It was her overworld sprite, crudely covered in red pixels, and a few white ones, representing bone. By now, I had taken my time to walk to the bathroom calmly, and puke for about ten minutes.
I'm pretty sure it would be impossible to puke for ten minutes straight. You wouldn't have any food left in your stomach at the five minute mark.
Oh, and then the author eats something. What?!
I've been sick before! You do NOT feel like eating after puking! Especially after ten minutes of puking!
Oh, apparently the author "can't do anything on an empty stomach."
WHAT?!
Doctor Dave: We're sorry about your abilities, but we can't have you roaming around our island. You're a great trainer! But you'll run us extinct on this island!
Wait, what?
Doctor Dave: You will be put down in history, young one. Keep playing in the afterlife!
Really?
The bang noise played once again, but so loud it crashed my speakers.
THAT'S IT?!
You're ending it here?! That is one of the dumbest things ever!
First of all, your character beat the ultimate Pokémon Gary-Stu with an illegal Chandelure! You mean you won't magically stop the bullet, somehow save Senc from the dead, and destroy the Violet Islands? That's what I was thinking you would do.
Second, the story just abruptly ends, it's like the author said "Gee, it's almost my bed time. Better just send it like it is, with barely any conclusion."
This guy is like the writer of "Ghost of Team Rocket" and "Pokémon Channel" combined! Two wrongs make a wrong!
So the author gets an eyeful of some graphic picture.
It showed a sprite of my character, hung by a noose with a bullet hole in his head. His stomach had been gashed through, and his organs hanging out. Blue was next to him, the same damage done. Both teams of Pokémon had been sliced through the stomach, and hung by the respective player, blood covered the floor, along with all the bodies of people who fell to the fate of the Violet Islands. I cried when I saw Senc in the front middle of the floor-
(Kyurem smashes a base drum so hard, the mallet goes through the drum)
We get it! You need people to pity you!
Oh, and you know what gets me the most? The author actually tries to put a moral in the end of the story!
I think this game signified the problem of not fitting in, not being good enough for everyone else. It showed that someone who didn't fit the standards of the common civilization in which they lived in would be shoved out, as an outcast. And if you tried to hard you would also be excluded.
Don't fall to the fate of the Violet Islands.
Ugh, I guess that makes a little sense, but the fact that you tried to add a moral to an advertisement-filled, pity craving story like this!
And that sums up my final thoughts! It's an advertisement-filled, pity-craving wreck of a story! Nothing is redeemable! Some may think the moral is sweet, but I could find the same moral in a children's book.
(Kyurem sighs) Ugh, these bad Creepypastas are giving me a headache. I need an aspirin, and you can get out of my castle.
Credits
Pokémon Channel Creepypasta
Ghost of Team Rocket Fanfiction
Mr. Grool here! Man, this story was just really bad. Not as bad as Pokémon Channel, but pretty bad. Sorry if Kyurem sounded extra angry in this one. Expect something better next review!
Oh, also credit goes to Nuzlocke Comics and Keldeo's Tear of Courage for inspiration and jokes on the Death Battle chapter.
Mr. Grool in no way owns Pokémon. In fact, the original idea for this fanfiction stems from the fanfiction known as "Keldeo the Critic," which belongs to Matthias123.
Keldeo the Critic and Kyurem the Critic are both parodies of the Nostalgia Critic by Doug Walker on That Guy with Glasses. Creepypasta-related reviews can also be associated with "Creepypasta Story Time" By Yuriofwind on YouTube.