The night of our date we went to the Cat's Eye Café, which happened to be one of my favorite places since I was little. We ordered and talked and ate. We laughed and smiled, we had a great time. But it was bugging me that I'd be without Shika for a while. I had slept in his room last night and would most likely tonight. Would I be able to sleep without him?
"Shia?"
"Yeah?"
"Will you be okay?"
"I will be fine Shikamaru," I said with a smile, "I have some sanity, and as you said before, I won't be alone."
"Right." He said as he paid and we left. "You'll be fine." I went to change when we got home and gave him time to do the same. When we were both down I walked in, "Shia," He started as I sat down on the bed, "Do you want me to-?"
"Yes, wake me up if I'm not already up." He nodded and pulled me down so he could go to sleep.
"I'll come back as soon as possible." I nodded into his chest. "Promise."
"I know." And for the first time, possibly in history, Shikamaru was the last person in his house awake that night.
=========Shikamaru's POV, after the mission======
"Shikamaru, welcome home." I looked at my mother, she was going to bed. "It's nice that your back, Shia doesn't sleep."
"What?"
"She sings." Before I could say anything she continued. "Not that she's loud; you can't even hear her in my room. But the other night I was putting your clothes away and heard her, she was quiet; I had to listen close to hear her." I nodded, "Well, good night." With that she left. I decided to hide my chakra and walked to her door. Mom was right, she was singing. I sat, intending to listen to the one song, but I ended up listening the whole night.
I tried to kill the pain
but only brought more
so much more
I lay dying
and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
am I too lost to be saved
am I too lost?
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
do you remember me
lost for so long
will you be on the other side
or will you forget me
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
am I too lost to be saved
am I too lost?
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
I want to die!
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my wounds cry for the grave
my soul cries for deliverance
will I be denied Christ
tourniquet
my suicide
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When she stopped the sun was up and I knew she was coming out. So I stood and walked down the hall so that it looked like I just got back.
"Shikamaru?" I turned to her, "Welcome home."
"Thanks," I said as I walked back to her, "How have you been?" I was gone about a week, if she was singing every night…
"Fine. Are you tired?" She changed the subject.
========Shia's POV==========
"Not really," He said, "Are you?"
"No." He nodded, the way he did though made me take a guess, "Where you listening outside my door?" He shrugged, "Well then my guess is you were up all night, so if your magically not tired then come with me." I took him away from the house; I don't like it when people spy on me.
"Shia did you sleep at all?" he asked as he tried to keep up with me.
"No," I whispered, "But Naruto's leaving today and we're saying goodbye." I got to the gate just in time. "Naruto!" He turned
"Shia!" He ran to me, we aren't close or anything but I was the only one here to say goodbye and he was close to Sasuke, "You came? I never told anyone when I was leaving."
"I know, but I thought that someone should be here to say goodbye," We had hung out a bit over the last week, "Get strong Naruto."
"I will, believe it." I waved as he left.
"Do you? Believe it that is." I looked back at Shikamaru.
"Yes, I believe that Naruto as the potential and the strength to make it to Hokage." I yawned and got a worried look from Shikamaru. "I'm fine." I said as I walked away from the gates and to the woods.
"You didn't sound fine." I looked at him, "Your songs weren't 'I'm fine' songs. They were more like I'm slowly dying and scared to death." I looked at him.
"That's because I am scared to death." He walked closer to me as I spoke, "I'm scared; both my brothers left me. My family is long dead; I've got Orichimaru's mark on me…"
"You'll be fine." I looked at him, "I know you. You're a strong, independent, stubborn girl who never lets anything get to her. One thing isn't going to get you. Naruto and Sakura are going to get him back if you don't first and you will live to see that day." I nodded a bit and he sighed. "Why sing?" I looked at him
"What?"
"Why would you sing? How does that help?" I looked at him for a moment as I thought.
"I guess because I haven't been able to for so long, it just came naturally. Music was always my escape, now I could use it to its fullest." He nodded and looked deep in thought. "Shikamaru," I hated that look, "Will you spar with me?"
"Sure."
I knew that Shikamaru wouldn't go too hard on me, seeing as I just got out of the hospital a little over a week ago. But he also get's competitive. Obviously not in things like the Chunin exams, but when it comes to fighting against me, well the boy hates to lose. We ended up fighting till the sun went down, at which point I beat him and we fell on our backs. I looked up at the stars, but as I watched the stars Shikamaru watched me.
"What's wrong?" I asked him without looking away from the sky. "I haven't seen the night sky in a long time, why are you looking at me like that?"
"Do you like to sing?" I nodded a bit, "Will you sing for me?" I turned to him, surprised by his question. "Please?"
"Um, what do you want me to sing?" He shrugged, "Why?"
"I haven't heard your voice since we were little; I guess I just can't get enough of it." I thought for a moment before I opened my mouth again.
"Okay, just let me think for a moment." I took in a deep breath then.
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"The gate is wide
The road is paved in moderation
The crowd is kind and quick to pull you in
Welcome to the middle ground
You're safe and sound and
Until now it's where I've been
'Cause it's been fear that ties me down to everything
But it's been love, Your love, that cuts the strings
So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave
I am small
And I speak when I'm spoken to
But I am willing to risk it all
I say Your name
Just Your name and I'm ready to jump
Even ready to fall...
Why did I take this vow of compromise?
Why did I try to keep it all inside?
So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave
I've never known a fire that didn't begin with a flame
Every storm will start with just a drop of rain
But if you believe in me
That changes everything
So long, I'm gone
So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
I wanna be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave"
As I sang I looked back up at the night sky. When I finished the song I didn't look at him. After a moment he put his arm around me.
"You have an amazing voice." He commented. "I've missed it."
"As have I," I whispered, "Now, why did you really want to hear me sing?" He chuckled
"Because, the last time you got lost, when people were looking for you it wasn't your calls that got you found."
"It was my song." I said as I remembered the night. Father had pissed me off and I ran into the woods. When no one found me I started to sing, in the attempt to keep myself calm. That was how people found me. "Right…" I felt myself falling asleep, and soon the stars were gone from the night sky and it was just black. When I opened my eyes I was in Shikamaru's bed once again. "At least I know someone's still looking out for me." I said as I got up, "Sleep well." I whispered to him, "You need it." I left him room and went to get dressed.