He led her in silence through the streets of Lowtown. She didn't look at him, didn't say a word, afraid to meet his eyes or catch a glimpse at what he had been up to the past several months. Her mind was racing with thoughts, her heart pounding in her chest. Was he angry? Was he hurt? Did Danarius somehow find him and order him to lead her somewhere? His hold on her hand wasn't forceful or hard, but wasn't loving either. She opened her mouth several times to begin the conversation that would break the awkward silence and tension, but no words would come. She resigned to the fact that he wasn't going to speak either until they ended up wherever he was taking her.

Through the streets and up the long stairs to Hightown they went. As they passed by many of the nobles in the market the staring and judgmental eyes fell upon her. The night before her mother was pleading with all the parents of single sons and now here she was being led through the square by the lyrium tattooed elf that had been spotted at times. Hawke suddenly felt a bit ashamed for caring what these people thought, but she too didn't know what to make of the scene. Being paraded with no confidence of a relationship, no defiance of true love, only confusion and a bit of fear.

The route was now suddenly very familiar. Back to the mansion Fenris resided. Memories of the last time she was here washed over her; panic, desperation, disappointment when he wasn't here that night he had left her and she searched for him. The days before that, where he had cared for her, loved her, trusted her, and been with her. Now they were there again, only she didn't feel as safe. Oddly enough to her, she was somewhat terrified. And he finally took notice.

"You're shaking," he said breaking the silence between them.

She shrugged, and after looking into his eyes for several heartbeats, she finally said, "anticipation and the unknown will do that."

"So you fear me," he said flatly looking away.

The guilt slammed into her stomach. "No, no Fenris not fear. Maybe a little, I don't know. Let's not go judging each others mental state right now until we talk, okay?"

"Fair enough," he said. "I know you have questions, but there is something you must see first, inside."

Hawke swallowed and nodded, allowing him to lead her into the mansion.

The smell of the fire and some food cooking caught Hawke's attention first as he opened the door. Then the sight of the foyer made her stop walking. It was clean. Not just the random glass shards from broken bottles and random pieces of furniture finally straightened out, but years of dust and cobwebs gone, light shining through clean windows, and a marble floor Hawke had never known existed. She let go of his hand and walked around, not believing her eyes. "Fenris, this is actually quite beautiful!"

"She's been busy," he said.

Hawke swallowed hard and turned to look at him. Then she heard footsteps from upstairs coming down. She turned to the stairs to see a red haired elf coming down. Fenris cleared his throat. "Hawke, I'd like you to meet my sister, Varania."

Hawke stood frozen at the news, unable to move for several seconds as she looked at Varania, then Fenris, then back to Varania. She knew he spoke the truth, seeing now the eyes of same color, and of similar sadness. Hawke stepped forward and extended her hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you Varania."

Varania took Hawke's hand in both of hers, "I have heard a lot about you, it's nice to finally put a face to the name." She looked over Hawke's shoulder at Fenris. "Are you two hungry? I have some stew on the fire."

Fenris removed his sword from his back and placed it by the front door. "I told you that was not necessary. You do not have to cook for me."

Varania looked at him seriously. "I was hungry Leto, so I made extra."

"Oh, well in that case, thank you," Fenris said removing some of his armor and letting it fall to the floor. Varania moved to immediately pick it up, and he grabbed her arm. "Leave it. This is home, you do not pick up after me."

Varania gave him a stern look in return. "This is home, and I like it clean," she said as she picked up his gear and placed it on the rack by the front door. "I'll leave you two alone, I am sure you have catching up to do."

Hawke managed a smile as Varania went back upstairs, still trying to process the entire exchange that just took place. "Leto?" She finally asked.

"Hmm," he muttered, "my real name apparently. I will not get used to it anytime soon." He finished removing his armor and returned to face her. "Are you hungry? She does make a fine stew."

Hawke shook her head, the thought of food sending waves of nausea to her stomach that was twisted into knots. "I'm sorry Fenris, I'm not so sure I can sit down to a family meal just yet."

"I understand," he said. "So shall we begin?"

Hawke laughed. "Just like that huh? Forgive me Fenris, but you had time to prepare on your return home. I just found out you were back. And now with your sister, I'm in a bit of shock I guess."

He nodded. "My apologies. I would have sent word, but I did not want to risk it having Varania with me."

Hawke sighed. "I understand," she said sitting in the chair beneath the stairs. "I'm torn Fenris." she said looking at the floor and avoiding his gaze. "Part of me wants to throw my arms around you and kiss you, happy to have you home and safe. The other part of me wants to hit you and scream at you for leaving the way you did, for leaving me." She paused, he waited for her to continue, and her eyes filled with tears as she shut them. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

Fenris walked towards her and sat in the chair next to her. "I have thought of a thousand things to say to you, yet none of them I am afraid will comfort you now." He too began looking at the floor, the brief site of her tears falling tearing at his heart. "But leaving led me to my sister, and I can not apologize for that."

She wiped the tears with the back of her hand. "I don't expect you to Fenris. I did, wanted an apology and explanations, but I guess now it doesn't matter." She turned to look at him. "I am happy you found her, thankful it wasn't all for nothing."

His eyes met hers and they exchanged silent looks of guilt, despair, and pain. He held out his hand to her once again, and she accepted, leaning her head back in the chair still staring at him. He did the same, and for a while they sat in silence, his thumb caressing her hand and hers his. They had always been comfortable in the silence, and even now after all the time that had passed, it seemed a comfortable silence. Neither could think of words to say that wouldn't lead to an argument, so they remained still for a time. The more time that passed though, the more the anguish built inside Hawke. Having him with her again, but seeming so distant, was slowly killing her inside. She didn't want him to see her fall apart, so she gathered as much strength as she possibly could and stood up, releasing his hand.

"I think I'm going to go for now, but maybe tomorrow I can come pick you up and show you the new place?"

Fenris nodded, rising as well and walked her to the door. "I'd like that."

She smiled. "Tomorrow then," she said as she walked through the door he opened for her.

"Goodnight Hawke," she heard him say as she walked around the corner and out of sight.

She kept walking, breathing heavily, picking up the pace as she made her way to the Viscount's Keep. She entered, headed to the southern wing, and then into the barracks. Quietly she knocked on Aveline's door, and when she heard her friend call "come in" Hawke slowly opened the door. She shut the door behind her, leaned against it, and finally let the tears flow as she sat on the floor blocking anyone else from coming into the office.

Aveline said nothing and did nothing as Hawke continued to release the waves of emotions that had been building all afternoon. She pulled her knees up to her chest and put her head down, sobbing uncontrollably. Aveline walked over to her and sat on the floor next to her, handing her a tissue. "Are you done yet? This is disturbing to watch."

Hawke managed a laugh, taking the tissue and wiped the tears with it. "I'm pathetic, I know."

"Horribly so, and why you'd share this display of patheticness with me I don't know. I believe I often say you have too many friends Hawke, but perhaps that's not true. You need one for times like this; I can't handle it."

Hawke laughed again, blowing her nose into the tissue. "This is exactly why I come here, so you can berate me and remind me how immature I'm acting."

"Good," Aveline said standing up again. "Then is my job finished here? I have a ton of paperwork."

"Ha ha," Hawke said sarcastically as she took Aveline's extended hand to help her get off the floor. "Since you don't care enough to ask, he's returned, and with a sister too."

"Interesting," Aveline said sitting back down behind her Captains desk. "Any explanations for doing what he did?"

Hawke shook her head as she sat opposite the acting captain. "We're not there yet, we're still at the awkward stage of silence, mhmms and uhhuhs."

"Well hopefully he has a great answer worked out, though I remind you nothing he says should make up for what he did. I'd make him work really hard for this."

"That's hardly fair Aveline, after what I did to him as well."

Aveline let out a sound of disgust. "Don't even go there Hawke. Why you continue to beat yourself up over that is beyond me. I'm with Zevran on this one. Let it go. You have no reason to feel any guilt here, the blame lies with Fenris and should remain there."

Hawke looked at her puzzled. "You sound almost as angry as I was."

"You forget Hawke, it was all of us that had to watch you go through these last few months. He left you alone, in danger, and after you just died!. I am angry. We all are. If you ask me he owes us all an apology, and if he's smart he'll stay out of my way for a while."

Hawke sighed. "You are a great friend to be so angry on my behalf Aveline. For my part I am sorry, I didn't realize I had caused additional strain for everyone as well. And I am also sorry that out of the four women I know including my mother, you are the only one I can dump my problems on," she said smiling.

"Ugh you are impossible," Aveline said frustrated. "But I am always here for you, no matter what. Now get out of my office and don't even think about hugging me."

Hawke laughed as she stood. "You always know how to make me feel better." She headed towards the door. "Thank you my friend."

"Anytime Hawke."