I Ordered Russia Online I Didn't Get Him

by JoyHeart

I didn't bother asking what a 'unit' was. It was Ivan freaking Braginski related and damn it I wanted one! Unfortunately stupid company is stupid and did not send me what I asked for. Based on "est. 1995"'s Formerly Lollidictator manuals, here's my story. I feel unoriginal.

10. The Case of China

I Ordered Russia Online. I Didn't Get Him.

Chapter 10: The Case of China

((Joyful Note: Yep. Back again. Seriously, why do you all seem to love me so much? Guess I'm just too awesome for explanations... anyway... so this particular part is my second deviation of POV, coming at you live from the character of Yao Wang aka China. Why have I done this? Well... his side of events is much more interesting than my main character's side at the moment. If my main was voicing her thoughts right now it would mostly be, I would imagine, rage, rage, rage at having to find her other Units. I did a POV for Prussia already, so... here's China. Yay. However... it's in third person limited. I can't quite put myself behind China's eyes, so we'll settle for reading his mind and be done with it, savvy?))

Yao Wang has few duties in his new life with his mistress and fellow Units, but the ones he has are full time and very important to the welfare of the household. His first duty is to protect and care for the intensely cute child form of Russia. His second is to cook meals for the household of Units and creatures that seem to increase in number every other day, although admittedly this isn't too much trouble as he does enjoy cooking most of the time. His last task is to keep Prussia out of trouble.

This last task is not, strictly speaking, assigned to him. No one told him to do anything beyond preventing the albino from, oh, throwing Little Russia off a balcony or into a den of lions at the zoo or something of the like. Yet still Yao felt that, ever since that day when he had been placed in charge of their small group on their mission to find and purchase a new computer monitor and had lost the albino in a snow storm, he should probably keep a better eye on Prussia. Especially recently, as Yao was rather good at reading the mood and had been able to tell that Prussia had been rather upset the last day or two. The Chinese man had no idea why he was upset, but the lack of attempts on Little Russia's life had sent a good message that all was not well. The lack of appetite was also a factor, as no matter what quarrel the two had together Prussia seemed to be growing quite fond of Yao's food and tended to take second and third helpings when possible. Although there was no concrete reason to care about the Prussian, Yao had decided that he was to be the leader of the Units while their mistress was away, the 'big brother' if you will, and in that position he had the duty of caring for every member of the makeshift family regardless of whether he personally liked them or not. So Yao was worried.

All this is why, when left alone in twin hotel rooms and the Prussian had without warning gotten to his feet with his little bird on his head, muttering something about getting snacks, and had not returned for half an hour Yao decided that he would take it upon himself to go searching for the melancholy Unit. It was his brotherly duty after all. At first he had been hesitant to leave Little Russia alone with America, but ultimately he decided that America seemed to hold no hostility over Russia's younger version (though this wasn't quite mutual on Russia's end) and after some more thought Yao suddenly recalled that America's brother was around somewhere too and would probably manage to keep peace. That's what he did right? Right. So after telling the other Units to stay in the room and not to leave unless their mistress returned, he left them. As he closed the door he heard America gleefully say something about building the best pillow fort ever. Yao winced a little, hoping they didn't make too much mess, but at the least it sounded like a somewhat safe activity.

And so, Yao went out to search for Prussia. He expected, having had half an hour, the albino would have made it some fair distance in whatever mischievous venture he had gone off to involve himself in but soon it was shown that he hadn't gotten that far at all. In fact Yao only had to reach the ground floor of the hotel before he spotted the man standing in front of an old pinball machine, using rather impressive reflexes to keep the ball going much longer than the average ten year old that might play such a game. Gilbird sat on his head as usual. Yao sighed in relief that he hadn't gotten into trouble and began to approach his fellow Unit when he noticed that he was hitting the paddle buttons... perhaps a little too hard? And his shoulders were shaking a bit as well.

"Er... Gilbert? Are you okay, aru?" Yao asked in concern. He didn't need much intuition to know something was wrong.

At his voice, Prussia's hands appeared to seize up and the pinball rolled off the paddle, sounding the buzzer. Letting out a short hiss followed by a colourful swear word, Prussia quickly gripped the machine hard enough that had his skin not already been so his knuckles would've turned white. He turned his head to face Yao. The Chinese man was surprised to see that his eyes were redder than usual. Not quite bloodshot, but they were a bit pink about the whites, and bright, and glaring hard at the Asian.

"What the fuck do you want?" he said this in a croak that zapped most of the venom from the words. Yao nibbled his lip before replying.

"You hadn't come back-aru, I just wanted to check on you."

"Well I'm fine so go back and play with that fucking creepy future rapist!"

Yao felt his skin prickle and he glared back in annoyance. "I am just trying to help-aru! Don't be so brash with me!"

"Well I don't want help from a fucking Russia sympathizer!"

"I-I'm not a Russia sympathizer! It's just... he's cute as a child okay! And... and it's my duty to look out for him! Our mistress-"

"Yeah our fucking almighty 'mistress' is a bitch and fuck her too! Why the hell are you still here?"

"I have no idea! Fine, play this stupid game forever-aru! You're completely irrational-aru!" Yao turned and headed for the elevator, but as he reached it he looked back to see Prussia, instead of going back to the game, heading out lobby doors and towards the streets of Toronto. "Where the hell are you going-aru?" Yao called after him.

Prussia sent a look of loathing at the Asian. "I'm just getting some gott damned fresh air, is that okay with you?"

"No it isn't! If you need fresh air there's a balcony in the room!"

"Yeah well I want a walk."

"We're supposed to stay in the hotel! Our mistress-"

"Yeah well fuck whatever 'Mom' said, I'm out of here."

"G-GILBERT!" Yao cried hoarsely as Prussia left the building. After a moment of hesitation, the Asian drew himself up and followed the albino into the streets of Toronto, not even noticing the stares of fellow guests and hotel staff who had been watching the scene they'd just made.

He also didn't notice a white haired man half hidden behind a newspaper nearby who after a short moment rose to follow them. He was rather suspicious looking but in haste one tends not to notice things. Especially upon realising that Prussia had taken off at a rather high speed, warranting an impromptu footrace that was roughly evenly matched, even as they dodged startled pedestrians. Shining moments included when both Units leapt over two sleeping homeless men and when Yao had to dart into traffic to get around a group of teenagers blocking the entire sidewalk upon exiting a side shop. He managed to avoid getting clipped by a truck but it was a close call. Still, it did not slow the Chinese man's pursuit and Prussia started to take notice.

After six blocks of this, Prussia seemed to finally give up and stopped running, allowing Yao to catch up. After a moment of heavy breathing from both parties, Yao finally gathered enough air into his lungs to ask why Prussia was acting like he was about to be arrested-aru.

"Because I want to be by my awesome self!" Prussia huffed and folded his arms. Yao was about to retort when he noticed that the two of them were still in the middle of the sidewalk and blocking traffic. Grabbing Prussia's arm he dragged him with some difficulty into the mouth of an alleyway. Luckily it was broad daylight so that though the alley was dim, it was far from dark and other than beer cans and broken glass it was deserted of anything or anyone.

"Alright-aru, why do you want to be alone?" Yao asked with a frown. No matter how difficult Prussia was being he was clearly upset and if he were to get lost in Toronto there were a number of bad things that could happen to him. It was best to avoid the option and find the source of his irrational behaviour.

Prussia's teeth ground and his posture stiffened. Clearly he did not want to talk about it, at least not with Yao. In a way perhaps this was understandable as so far their only interactions have been combat and arguments. It was strange that he felt such hostility towards Yao though; the two Unit types had no such incompatibilities as far as the source material of the Hetalia franchise dictated. In fact, as far as Yao could recall, the two had no scenes together in it at all. Aside from observing Prussia Units during his time at Unit Co during mass auditorium meetings and occasional group meals, Yao didn't think he was at any time required to spend time with any Prussia Unit in a one on one setting as he had spent with his assigned... well, his assigned Russia and South Korea Units for example.

Therefore Prussia should theoretically treat Yao with indifference... perhaps they had gotten off on the wrong foot with regards to Little Russia. In any case, Yao felt it was time to find some kind of peace between them. If he was to be the acting older brother in the household he needed to create a sense of order and could not have this fight with Prussia all the time.

In aim of this, Yao tried his best to look determined but at this same time open to whatever Prussia had to say. His eyes widened, but mouth tightened, and his shoulders straightened which displayed his annoyance and only caused Prussia's eyes to narrow. With a sigh, Yao abandoned the posture and settled for a more worn out appearance. He was a bit drained from this anyway so it wasn't that hard.

"Listen-aru I know that we... we seem to have... we do not see eye to eye," Yao began slowly and Prussia scoffed without a change in attitude yet. "But... you honestly seem upset and... I wish to help-aru!"

Prussia looked away. "As if you could help. Fucking unawesome..."

"Well I can't even try if you don't at least tell me what's wrong!"

"FINE!" Prussia suddenly yelled, causing an elderly couple passing by the alley to peer down in worry. Seeing both Units standing far opposite each other on the wall, looking angry but not to the point of physical violence and Prussia waving them away impatiently the two left them again looking somewhat reassured and Prussia's voice dropped again. "I... was dating a guy and we... broke up recently. I, uh, I guess."

After this admission Prussia's eyes became trained at the ground, his cheek pink as he muttered about things being unawesome. Yao was left staring at Prussia.

"I, er, I didn't know you were dating someone-aru. I wasn't aware our mistress-"

"Stop calling her that, it's fucking pretentious," Prussia growled.

"Then what should I call her-aru?"

"Just call her Mom, duh, that's what the rest of us are doing."

"She's not very motherly-aru..."

"Yeah," Prussia's lips quirked up a little here, "But she hates being called that. Just do it."

"Er... well I guess for now... anyway! I didn't know 'Mom' knew anyone else with Units compatible with you."

Prussia went silent again for a long while. "It... wasn't another Unit. It was just a guy named Corey. He works at the liquor store."

Yao's eyes widened. "Did our mistr- whatever-aru! Did 'Mom' approve that?"

"Yes she did okay? Gott, she's the one who kind of set it up I guess..."

Yao looked less concerned, but still uncomfortable. "I... suppose that's okay... right?"

"Don't know, don't care."

"Right," Yao swallowed, "So you broke up with him?"

"Er..." Prussia groaned low in his throat and scratched the side of his head. Gilbird ruffled his feathers slightly. "Well we didn't say it or anything but... he found... he um... he found out I was Unit. Cause that fucking idiot 'mistress' fucking told him!" Prussia snapped from his slightly awkward tone and dove right into anger. "Like... what the fuck! Gott, I told her I didn't want him to fucking find out! And yeah, he didn't want to be with me anymore because of it! Well..." Prussia hesitated a moment, "Well actually... I wasn't really expecting him to react like that. I was kind of more worried that he'd order another Prussia Unit or just treat me differently but... gott..."

Yao listened in numb silence, not sure how to respond at first. Finally after it sunk in completely Yao did his best to answer. "Well... maybe it's for the best that you broke up if the alternatives were still unsavoury to you. And anyway... are relationships not supposed to have honesty? If he cannot accept you for whom you are, then you're better off without him-aru."

Prussia leaned against the alley wall and refused to meet Yao's eyes. "Yeah I know. I just... liked being around someone who didn't know I was a Unit and still wanted to be around me... you know?"

Yao didn't know. He'd never been in that situation before or felt the need for such a thing. But he nodded anyway as if he understood. "In any case, this is all in the past now. It's best if you forget about this boy. Besides, if you were still with him when Russia arrives I would fear for his life anyway."

"Oh shit I totally forgot that freak's still coming!" Prussia looked up wildly at Yao. "Fucking hell! Seriously, that bitch already has the mini version and he's fucking creepy enough, what the hell does she need with a full sized-"

"He's not creepy-aru!"

"Yes he is! Stupid kid needs to be introduced to the underside of a fucking steamroller..."

"DON'T YOU DARE!"

Prussia snorted. "He'd deserve it."

"Leave him alone-aru!"

Yao couldn't help these responses; he had been born and raised to protect children. It was in his DNA and he couldn't stand to so much as hear a threat against a child in his care and not react this way.

"Nein! That kid is fucking insane. And he knows it! Hell, he'll probably do everything Russia Units are made to do at Unit Co on his own because he'll still think it's the natural way to do things!"

Yao swallowed here, every word Prussia said was true but still… "Even so... he still hasn't done those things-aru. And he's still young. It's... it's possible that we could raise him differently..."

Prussia's laugh was bitter. "Yeah, I guess. He gets to be the fucking exception. Why the hell can't we all be?"

Yao's brow furrowed. "I don't know what you mean-aru."

Prussia's eyes rolled. "You know what happens when the company finds out they sent out a fully grown Unit that acts differently than programmed."

Yao's skin paled. He nodded. There were a few ways it could happen but this was one of the two most common causes. "Yes... I know-aru... we're... 'de-activated'..."

"Yeah, a nice way of saying we're killed," Prussia snorted. "Not that it usually comes up as a problem. Look at you! You couldn't act different then programmed, you wouldn't know how!"

"Well, why would I want to-aru? I'm fine with who I am!"

"Well even if you weren't you wouldn't have the option! But that damn kid... as long as he stays his malevolent creepy kid self for a year or two until he reaches what would normally be the next stage of his 'programming' he can grow up to be whoever the hell he wants... or however he's raised by us and 'mom' I guess. He'll never have to worry about that! As for us, we don't get to be anything outside the 'modes' we can be programmed into because we're supposed to be fully developed and 'warranty approved' by this point. We're fucking stuck," Prussia ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, dislodging an irritated looking Gilbird. He had been sleeping during this exchange.

Yao was left to bite his lip. Prussia shouldn't be speaking like this in an alleyway, people might overhear... still it was fairly secluded. Strictly speaking Units weren't meant to speak of their programming or life at the company after they leave it anywhere there was even the slightest chance of a regular human hearing about it. Essentially they were meant to simply fulfil their roles as fictional characters come to life, what Prussia was now doing broke the illusion, the 'fourth wall' so to speak. It was forbidden... then again he'd already told their mistress too much hadn't he? And he was still alive so perhaps it wasn't as enforced as the Units had been led to believe?

So many questions arose in the Chinese Unit's head but for now he had to simply calm Prussia enough to get them back to the hotel. In this state... in this state he might be considering running away for good. Though it was normal for Units to leave on their own for days at a time, if a Unit is officially kicked out, or leaves intending to run away permanently... well it was the second leading cause of 'deactivation'. Yao had to prevent that, for Prussia's sake. He was about to try saying something comforting but Prussia let out a long sigh again, picking at the brick on the wall.

"I guess that... that might be part of why I don't like him so much..." the albino said quietly. His eyes suddenly glared defensively at Yao. "I still know he's an unawesome rapist-to-be alright! That's definitely the main reason! He's fucking creepy and deserves anything I do to him!" Red eyes suddenly avoided Yao's brown ones. "But yeah... I guess I... might be kind of jealous too... of him... just for that one thing... and..." his voice became harsher, "And he doesn't even fucking realise how lucky he is! Like I said, he'll probably do everything like he's supposed to because he doesn't realise that he has another option and Mom probably wants him to grow up like that anyway and won't do anything to stop it! Hell, she'd probably encourage it, the bitch!"

"Well, even so-aru..."

"Hey."

Yao and Prussia froze for a moment and glanced to the entrance of the alley way toward the familiar voice. The man they saw was familiar to look at too. Though both could assume they'd never met him before in their lives... not this one personally anyway.

"What the hell are you guys talking about so unawesomely in this unawesome alley? I saw you guys in the hotel, that was a fucking awesome argument and I thought I'd see you guys awesomely kicking the crap out of each other out here if I followed you!" the other Prussia unit, wearing a dark coat and a large grin, started cackling and then quickly sobered. "But this is just boring!"

Prussia, the one who was going through the emotional crisis, scowled deeply at the intruder. "Well fucking EXCUSE ME for not being awesomely entertaining right now!"

"H-how much did you hear-aru?"

"Hmm?" The other Prussia Unit looked at Yao and shrugged, ignoring his doppelganger for the moment. "I didn't hear much, I lost sight of you and just found you again, and I didn't really care what you were talking about." He grinned at Prussia... Yao decided then to start thinking of other Prussia as 'Gilbert' for the moment just for clarity's sake. Anyway, Gilbert grinned at Prussia. "So why isn't a handsome devil like you beating the tar out of this stupid Asian, huh?"

Prussia growled. "Because I'm not fucking in the mood! My…" he swallowed, "My boyfriend just fucking dumped me okay? Are you fucking happy now? Now go away, unawesome fuck!"

"Ne? Kesesese I'm totally awesome! But… shit, are you in Depressed Mode? That sucks... you need to get some bier!"

"As if beer is going to help him with emotional distress-aru!"

"Bier?"

"Ja bier!"

"… I don't have cash for bier…"

"I know somewhere dirt cheap, I'll pay for ya! Kesesese! Come on, I'll show you a good time! Awesome guys like us have to stick together!"

"… ja I… guess…"

Prussia began to follow Gilbert out of the alley but Yao was quick to follow, looking livid.

"What! You cannot go drinking-aru! We have to be back at the hotel before our mistress gets back-aru!"

Gilbert put an arm around a defeated looking Prussia's shoulders and smirked back at Yao. "Hey, loosen up! He'll be back, it's not like she'll leave without you guys, right?"

"It wouldn't surprise me," Prussia muttered. Gilbert shook his head, snorted, and led his clone twin away. Yao was left staring after them for a minute before dashing in pursuit.

Not ten minutes later Gilbert had led them down an altogether seedier looking alleyway than they had been arguing in before. Yao would likely have been more worried had he not been programmed to know five styles of martial arts. As it was, they continued down the alley a ways before they turned a corner and came upon a door so dirty it nearly blended into the equally dirty wall. Otherwise there was nothing remarkable about it.

"Kesesese!" Gilbert laughed at Yao and Prussia's surprised and slightly wary faces. "What's with those looks? This place is awesome! It's a bar, just for Units! Not many know about it, word of mouth only but how else can we make sure our owners don't find us when they want us? Anyway, you look like you need a drink! Let loose! Kesese!"

To this Prussia seemed interested; he even perked up enough to smirk. "A Unit only bar? Kesesese! Now THAT sounds like an awesome idea!"

"Kesesese! I know, ne?"

"Aiyah..." Yao sighed. Though admittedly he was intrigued as well. If they could actually guarantee that no regular humans were around with the possibility of listening in, then, theoretically, they could talk about whatever they wanted without worry of repercussions.

Gilbert knocked on the door loudly. There was a moment of silence, then some shuffling sounds. The door cracked open ever so slightly and a bright green eye.

"Password?"

"I'm too awesome to need a password!" Gilbert snorted.

The green eye narrowed. "Iffen ya don't want me to skewer yee, I suggest yeh state the password. And yes, I need it even if I know who you are already, ye git."

Yao twitched. "Is that... is that... England...?"

There was a pause behind the door followed by some dark chuckling. Yao stiffened. "That wouldn't happen to be a China Unit would it? Strange, they don't come around here much for some reason..."

Yao's blood boiled. It was a natural reaction, he was made to hate England but from the sound of the accent, altered just slightly and sounding a bit harsher, this was a Pirate England. If that were so... well... Yao might just have to wok a bitch. It was true that Yao was made to hate America as well, but it wasn't the same kind of hate. America was happy-go-lucky, and most of Yao's hatred came from his insensitivity and the fact he never paid back people he owed things to. It was more annoyance than strict hatred Yao felt, even if other China Units have been known to try killing an America Unit they're left with too long. But England... scars ran deep there, and though a normal England Unit would be changed enough from this stage in programming to offer some sort of civilly minded conversation, Pirate England... damn... Pirate England...

"I WONDER WHY-ARU!" Yao screamed and both Prussia Units turned to stare at the suddenly seething Asian as the door opened wide revealing a wide-grinning, pirate suit-wearing, clearly in the mood to rape a pretty little Chinese man, Arthur Kirkland. "Er..." Evidently, shit was going down.

Or it is imagined it would have. After all, the pirate lunged at Yao and Yao... well actually Yao kind of froze stiff. China Units aren't made to be particularly adept at fending off rape attempts from other, clearly dominant, Units. However as Arthur lunged Prussia unexpectedly got between the two, catching the pirate off guard and getting tackled to the ground instead.

"A-AH! P-Prussia?" Yao whimpered a little, looking shocked as Prussia grappled with Arthur on the ground. Gilbert looked surprised as well.

"What the hell is he doing?" Gilbert asked Yao as Prussia landed a few good punches only to get Arthur's hands wrapped around his throat.

"I-I... h-he's defending me but... I'm not sure why-aru..."

"Um..." Gilbert looked from the brawling men, to Yao, and back again. "I don't know why either. If it were me I'd probably help out and maybe get some tail too! Kesesese!"

Yao looked horrified. "Th-that's sick aru!"

Gilbert shrugged. "Well you live with a Prussia Unit right? Shouldn't you be used to this?" He grinned. "I bet he's groped you so much your ass sags!"

Yao flushed. "I-It does not! And neither does he- I mean, he doesn't do that!"

Gilbert's eyes widened. "He doesn't? That's weird... oh right! He said he had a boyfriend right? That's probably why. Don't worry, when he gets out of depressed mode he'll show you why he's awesome! Unless of course you'd rather learn from the awesome me! Kesese!"

"I would not aru! Anyway, this Prussia isn't like that!"

"For now maybe he isn't but like I said, when he's out of depressed mode... hell, enough this fighting could do it! But yeah, when he's out of it-"

"HEY!" Prussia yelled, having wretched Arthur's hands from around his neck but still pinned beneath the man, "Stop talking as if I'm not here! I can hear everything you're saying, I'm LITERALLY right at your feet and WHY THE FUCK IS NO ONE HELPING ME? GOTT!"

Gilbert shrugged. "I dunno, you were doing pretty well! Kesese! But yeah, hey Arthur! Get up and let us in already, I want a bier!"

"Then yeh better stop this loon who jumped me!"

"W-well if you weren't attacking me maybe he wouldn't do that-aru!"

Arthur rolled his eyes as he was grabbed by Gilbert and pulled back, though he wasn't fighting anymore anyway. Prussia's yell for help appeared to have snapped him out of his sudden need to brawl.

Gilbert looked at Prussia, seeming confused. He raised an eyebrow anyway. "Why the hell would you help him out anyway? Does he cook for you or something?"

Yao flushed. Was that the only reason? That was...

"Er, yeah he does do that..." Prussia admitted and Yao looked away. Prussia continued on gruffly. "But... well he was going to get raped and no one fucking deserves that." He glared at Arthur for a moment and then turned his eyes toward Gilbert. The other albino stopped a moment and bit his lip, eyes widening a second.

"Oh... like..." he backed up a little, unconsciously, his eyes holding a somewhat distant looking to them."Yeah I guess... I guess I can understand that..."

"What the hell are you sops going on about? Fine! You want a pint let's get one before you all bleed through yer undergarments like the girls ye are!" Arthur huffed, grabbed his hat, straightened it, and held the door open again giving them all a pointed look. Gilbert marched through without a thought. Prussia and Yao exchanged a short glance wherein Yao bit his lip and Prussia shrugged before he looked away. Then the two followed.

Arthur locked the door behind them and led them down a long hallway toward a door on the far end with some orange-yellow light leaking around the edges before turning and returning to guarding to entrance door. As they approached Yao noticed that a small din of music and voices were heard and it grew significantly louder as they got closer. Significantly in that when the door was opened the noise level was enough to cause the Asian Unit to yelp and cover his ears.

"Aiyah! It's chaotic-aru!" and it certainly was, what with animals flying and running under people's feet, guns going off, people brawling left and right, the heavy smell of perfumes and smoke and alcohol permeating the air and enough bodies rubbing up against each other to almost form a wall.

"KESESE! ISN'T THIS PLACE AWESOME?"

"WHAT ARU?"

"HE SAID THIS PLACE IS AWESOME! AND YEAH, I GUESS IT KIND OF IS! KESESE!"

"IT'S MORE A NIGHTCLUB THAN A BAR-ARU! HOW ARE YOU EVEN SUPPOSED TO MOVE IN HERE?"

"LIKE THIS!" With this declaration, Gilbert grabbed Prussia and Yao's wrists and charged into the crowd with a screaming cry of "I'M AWESOME!" and physically kicking aside various Units. Yao saw a brief flash of an Italy unit among the crowd as well as many varieties from other shows that the Asian didn't recognise at least in that brief and terror filled crowd crush. Finally Gilbert successful yanked and fought their way up to the bar, jostling himself between Ed of FMA fame (as part of Yao's programming he did have to watch some anime, not as much as the younger Japan Units were doing at Unit Co. but a fair amount) and a girl with ridiculously large cleavage. Honestly when it came to big breasted females Yao could recognise Ukraine of course but the rest of them would blend together over time, he could never tell them apart and it didn't honestly matter, to tell the truth.

Once a spot near the drinks had been secured, Gilbert turned back to ask Yao and Prussia what they wanted to drink. Prussia declared he wanted the best German bier in the house, whatever it was, but Yao scowled and asked stubbornly for some green tea. When he was told there was no green tea on the menu he scowled further, not pleased with the drunken mass around them and, having no desire to join in, asked for a ginger ale. Gilbert rolled his eyes but since all their discussions had to be at the top of their lungs in this bar he decided not to argue with the Asian and just ordered the drinks.

While they waited on the bartender, yet another large breasted wench, Yao looked around the room more carefully. It was smaller, he decided, than the amount of Units inside made it seem. He figured it was about the size of two, maybe three department store outlets put together, and the bar took up a decent amount of space. The walls were painted red, and there were no windows though big fans and vents stood in the corners. Even so, the place was packed full enough to feel like a sauna, though with so many lusty creatures roaming Yao didn't dare do so much as unzip his jacket no matter the discomfort.

"HEY, WHO RUNS THIS PLACE?" Prussia yelled at Gilbert. The other albino grinned widely.

"UNITS, DUH! KESESE!"

Prussia rolled his eyes and drained his bier. Yao presumed he felt the need to be drunk if he was going to actually have to deal with having a conversation with himself. Probably wise, strangely enough.

"I MEAN, WHO STARTED IT? LIKE, WHAT UNIT?"

"OH!" Gilbert polished off his beer and raised his hand to order another couple. "I THINK IT WAS... DAMN IT I KNOW! UH... OH YEAH IT WAS THAT ONE GUY! ALACARD! THAT HELLSING GUY YA KNOW? BUT HE ISN'T AROUND MUCH THESE DAYS, YOU PROBABLY WON'T SEE HIM!"

"WHY NOT ARU?"

"HIS OWNER MOVED TO A DIFFERENT CITY SO HE CAN ONLY COME IN WHEN HE CAN GET AWAY FOR MORE THAN A DAY, HE DOES MOST OF HIS BUSINESS FOR THIS PLACE OVER THE INTERNET!"

Yao had decided by this point that this conversation was loud and annoying. However, he wasn't entirely sure how to escape from it. They must have been out for at least an hour or two already, they had to get back to the hotel before their mistress but Yao wouldn't know the way back by this point and Prussia didn't seem to hold any desire to leave just yet, particularly as he got more and more sloshed. Yao sighed and sipped his ginger ale in a grumpy sort of way when he was abruptly jostled aside by a group of boys whose fanged grins showed them to be from some kind of vampire show. It was then that it occurred to Yao that he hadn't recognised anyone in the bar from anything other than anime shows. That was... well maybe not so odd if...

"IS TORONTO A FLYING MINT BUNNY DESIGNATED- uh... aru?" Yao trailed off when he noticed the Prussia Units were no longer it sight. "Aiyah..."

"Jao Jao!"

Yao nearly spilled his drink as a pair of arms wrapped around him from behind and lifted him clean into the air.

"AH! P-PUT ME DOWN ARU!"

"Jao Jao! I've been looking every-" the Russia Unit behind him hiccoughed, "everywhere for you! You will become one with Russia, da?"

"N-NO! HELP!" Yao kicked in alarm, smelling vodka heavily as Ivan breathed into his ear, leaning down to nuzzle at the Chinese man's neck.

"IVAN! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU BASTARD?" There was a smacking sound and Ivan lurched forward, dropping Yao hard on his ass.

"Ow! That hurt, Romano!" Ivan pouted and glared at the Romano Unit that had come up behind him. "Why would you separate my Jao Jao from me?"

Romano rolled his eyes. "That's not YOUR Yao, stupid! He didn't come remember? Phht. You're drunk, let's go. SORRY!" Romano yelled at Yao, leaving him on the floor as he dragged the now puzzled-looking Russian away. Yao sighed and picked himself up off the floor, only to find himself suddenly grabbed by the arm and pulled toward a wall he was soon pinned against by none other than pirate England.

"AH! L-let go aru!" Yao wailed, thrashing about as a knee was shoved firmly between his thighs.

"I doubt ye'll be saved this time pet, yer knight in shining armour is pissed off his arse and I can't pass up a chance to get to ya when yer unguarded..." Pirate England laughed and pressed against Yao who had tears in his eyes, pushing back and struggling with only limited success. It wasn't fair! Yao had plenty of strength, hadn't he fought Prussia all those times? Why did all that strength have to flee when he needed it to stop himself from being violated?

No one noticed Yao and the pirate in the corner. No one would have cared if they had, except maybe Prussia but that man had lost track of Yao and his senses ages ago. Finally Yao was left against the wall, shakily pulling up his pants with tears running down his face. He wanted to leave, but the only door out would be past Arthur again and he couldn't go by there alone, he just couldn't! Why did this have to happen? He'd hoped that he could somehow avoid this here, if he stayed with his mistress but he hadn't managed even that.

Even so... it wasn't the first time. He would simply have to get over it. Taking a few deep breaths Yao ventured from the wall and went to find Gilbert and Prussia. After running into two other Prussia Units that were not the ones sought (these two were having consensual relations in a different corner) Yao finally discovered his Prussia at last, in the middle of the room screaming. Yao knew it was the Prussia he sought, of course, because he was wearing the outfit that their mistress had bought for him and he was mostly screaming because of a giant Russian on top of him who was being pulled on to no effect by a Romano Unit behind him. A small group of drunken bystanders appeared to be cheering someone on, though who it was hard to say.

Well, though Yao might not have the power to fend off rape attempts on his own person he certainly had the power to fight off other people's assaulters. Within a moment Yao had pounced on Ivan, pulling a wok from god knows where (even Yao didn't know, really) and hitting him hard over the head. The Russian man shuddered a moment and fell unconscious, on top of Prussia. Not the best situation, but at least he wasn't pawing at the albino anymore. Romano and Yao together managed to push Ivan off of Prussia as the bystanders dispersed. Prussia looked up at Yao with wide, completely bloodshot eyes.

"What happened aru? Where is the other Prussia Unit?"

Prussia shuddered and shrugged, "Other me... ran and... suddenly..." a hiccough and Prussia burst into tears. Clearly he had drunk far more than Yao would've thought he could've in such a short time.

"Come on... we're leaving this place," Yao said quietly, helping Prussia to his shaking feet and dragging him to the door, unmindful now about the possible danger of Arthur. Luckily the problem didn't come up, it seemed that at some point the door guards had changed and now a Train Heartnet Unit was grinning from the doorway, waving with a gun as they left. Yao gave him a wry smile. He certainly hadn't enjoyed his time at this bar. A bar for Units only... what a terrible idea.

Getting Prussia out into the street again, Yao remembered that he didn't know the way back to the hotel from there. He could ask someone, but he didn't want too much attention drawn to Prussia's shaken and drunken state and furthermore he couldn't leave the albino alone. So when Yao noticed a small park across the street he tried to ignore the pedestrians staring and supported Prussia all the way there and onto a park bench beside a barren bush. The cold air might sober him anyway, Yao thought.

After a while, Prussia groaned and massaged his temple. Luckily, as a German Unit he had a high alcohol tolerance and once he stopped drinking he could sober more quickly than most. Though he was likely still slow in reactions he had at least regained some sense from what Yao could tell as he began looking around him at the park.

"How the fuck did we get out here?" he asked after a moment.

"Did you black out-aru?" Yao sighed, "You were almost raped by a Russia Unit and I knocked him out with my wok."

Prussia froze and his eyes widened. He let out a hiss. "That's not funny."

"I'm not joking aru!"

The albino leaned forward and shoved his face into his hands. "Damn it, WHY?"

Yao rolled his eyes. "It's because in a bar for Units apparently no one cares about a rape occurring in the middle of the room."

Prussia was quiet for a minute. "Well... thanks for knocking him out then, I guess."

"You're welcome aru."

"And we're not going back there. Gott, that was unawesome."

"Of course we're not going back there-aru!"

Prussia sighed and looked up at the sky. "It's getting unawesomely dark."

Yao frowned. "You don't know where the hotel is from here, do you?"

"Nein. Do you know what it's called?"

"Yes, I suppose we should ask someone aru."

"Stop saying 'aru'. It's unawesome."

"Stop saying 'awesome', aru."

"Touché."

Rising from the bench, the two Units were about to go and find someone to ask directions from when a high ringing voice was heard to their left.

"YAO! GILBERT! WE FOUND YOU, DA?" The two turned to see Little Russia waving happily from atop America's shoulders. America was laughing as per usual. When the two pairs met, Ivan grinned and reached for Yao. "Now put me down, pig!"

America grinned and handed the squirming toddler to Yao who took him easily. "He's still a prick obviously, but he's a kid so I guess I can't say anything. Anyway, we went looking for you guys since I'm the hero!"

"WHAT? So you left no one to tell our mistr-" Gilbert grumbled and Yao rolled his eyes. "FINE! You left no one to tell mom where we went?"

"Uh, well I was gonna leave Tony but he said he had stuff to do and would meet us later so yeah. But whatever, now we can go back so it's fine right?" America grinned.

"Well... I suppose aru..." Yao shook his head, rubbing Little Russia's back. "You know the way back then, right?"

"Nope!"

"What? You unawesome... What do you fucking mean, 'no'?"

"Hey, I am awesome!" America protested, "I thought you guys would know!"

"Well I don't! Damn it!" Prussia growled and folded his arms. The three grown Units looked at each other, all wondering if they could somehow direct some blame off of themselves. They decided that they probably couldn't. So they stood in silence for a time.

"Big brother Yao! You have a mark on your neck, da?" Yao stiffened as Little Russia traced a spot on his neck he can only assume bore a hickey left by pirate England earlier.

"What?" Prussia pulled a protesting toddler back and saw the spot, eyes widening as America tried to also catch a glimpse. "Schiesse, when did-"

"That... pirate... came back w-while you..." Yao's voice suddenly broke and he stopped talking, just shaking his head.

"Oh..." Prussia blinked slowly, and turned away. "We should find the hotel. It's fucking cold. Unawesome."

"Yeah, let's go..." America said, looking uncertain and confused. Little Russia just looked contemplative as the four slowly moved out of the park and in the direction they decided was most likely for the hotel to be in. Really though, it was a complete coincidence that America and Little Russia happened to find them as they did.

They four wandered for hours, mainly in silence. It wasn't until the early hours of the morning when they sat in a bus station escaping the snow that had started to fall when at long, long last they heard a very familiar sound...

"AND WHEN I FIND THAT PRUSSIAN PIECE OF SHIT I'M GOING TO TEAR OFF HIS ARMS AND FEED THEM TO HIS FUCKING BIRD-" Incidentally to those wondering, Gilbird had flown off Prussia's head prior to visiting the bar and when they had come out of the bar he had seen Prussia drunk and gone to find their mistress. He had met up with her as she left the hotel and was leading her and Canada that very moment toward her lost Units. Needless to say he was getting rather annoyed with her screaming commentary. "I DON'T FUCKING DESERVE TO BE WANDERING AROUND AT THREE IN THE BLOODY FUCKING MORNING LOOKING FOR BLOODY FUCKING UNITS AND IT'S ALL THAT FUCKING PRUSSIAN'S FAULT AND HE'S GOING TO DIE I SAY IF HE ISN'T DEAD ALREADY BECAUSE-"

"HEY!" Prussia's loud voice echoed in the bus shelter and made Yao cover his ears. But it also stopped their 'mom's' tirade as she noticed him and Yao couldn't help but smirk slightly at the obvious look of relief that washed over her face before she sent the very darkest of glares at the group.

"What the fuck, a bus shelter? Where the hell do you all think you're going? If you all fucking hate me then fine," she swallowed, "but leave a goddamn note or something! I don't want to worry- uh, not that I was worried! Assholes!" She marched into the bus station, her purple winter jacket, frizzy hair and fogged glasses making her irritation look very unintimidating, even to Yao.

"Yeah yeah, and you're a bitch," Prussia shrugged, "Can we go now?"

Yao sighed. Well if anything, their misadventure seemed to have made Prussia a little less depressed, at least for the moment. Their mistress growled and complained some more, but even America seemed too tired to offer input after hours of walking and Little Russia was already asleep in the Asian's arms as Canada led the way back to the hotel. When they got there it was officially four thirty in the morning and in exhaustion they reached their rooms. Only to discover their fort was still up, meaning no comfortable beds were currently available.

The Units and their 'mom' looked at the fort, dumbstruck for a moment. Then 'mom's' eyes narrowed and she looked at everyone else with a glower.

"I am too fucking tired to deal with this shit. We're sleeping in fort, all of us. No fucking complaining, and no kicking me or you can sleep on the floor, no blanket." This announced, she kicked off her shoes, shed her jacket, crawled into the fort, laid on the mess of pillows next to Kumajirou and shut her eyes in semblance of sleep though obviously she wasn't there quite yet.

Yao observed as America and Canada shrugged and kicked off their shoes as well before crawling inside, Canada curling around his bear and America sprawling to the left of his brother. Yao placed Little Russia inside as well, near enough to 'mom' to leave room for the other Units, if they didn't mind ending up on top of America's legs, and the tiny Unit curled into her chest. A soft sigh came from the woman who might've rolled her eyes behind her eyelids as she wrapped an arm reluctantly around the child. Yao turned to Prussia.

"Are you coming-aru?"

Prussia shrugged. "I guess. Beats the floor. But if I wake up and that kid's touching me I'm going to strangle him."

Yao scowled. "That-" he paused, and then rubbed his neck. "I guess... that makes sense-aru..." he breathed out through his nose."I'll still try to stop you though."

"I know that. Probably for the best too I guess, mom would probably kick me out if I killed the kid."

Yao's smile was soft as he entered the fort, creating a barrier on Little Russia's other side in hopes to discourage him from wandering toward Prussia in the night. Prussia crawled in soon after, choosing to position himself closer to Canada. That made sense; Prussia Units typically get along well with Canada Units.

In the end the group kind of resembled a heap. It was messy. In the morning backs were likely to be sore due to sleeping on lumpy pillows. But none the less, sleep was had, somehow, so Yao felt as if something had been accomplished today.

((Joyful Note: So... I'm alive. Yay. Okay so this chapter... different style... ah whatever. I feel like all the Units need some kind of POV of their own somewhere in this story, though probably just one each. This is only 17 pages but I couldn't draw it out more under Yao's POV and I honestly didn't want to. Uh... so was it worth the wait? Probably not. But then, I'm in university now for Classical Archaeology and exams are fast approaching. I don't have much time to work on things like this. But still, I will be updating my other stories fairly soon I think, when next this story updates I will be back in my OCs POV and we can have our day in Toronto and blah blah blah. I hope you liked this chapter anyway and I'm sorry I let Yao get raped. His Unit manual makes him very rape-able. I'm a terrible person. So sue me.))