Disclaimer: Don't own it, just get a kick out of writing about it. Thanks Stephenie!
A heartfelt thank you goes out to my beta, Emilie Fauve. In "Rawr" we trust.
Instead of chasing after her, I returned to the house, settling myself on the front porch swing, overlooking the expanse of lush forest that we had just amiably walked through an hour before, together. I tried to convince myself that I wasn't keeping an eye out for her, though even with my exceptional sight, it would be next to impossible to spot her through the thick foliage that led down towards a streambed that peacefully snaked along the valley floor . What did it matter where she went; when she returned? It doesn't, I told myself. Quit watching for her.
Sighing loudly, I looked away from the woods, leaning back on the swing as I let my gaze drift upwards to the partly-cloudy sky. Carlisle usually relocated us further north, where bright days were less prevalent, therefore allowing us to more easily partake in normal, human activities. But this move had been different – we had isolated ourselves more than usual, away from any heavily populated areas, taking up residence deep in the Appalachian mountains. I wondered if Carlisle was well aware of the pleasant weather in the area, purposely choosing to move to a place where there was an abundance of sunny days. Maybe he assumed the sunlight would help cure Rosalie of her mood swings.
I rocked quietly, watching the clouds go by for an indeterminable amount of time. I tried to not let my thoughts continually circle back to our earlier conversation, but my internal vacillation refused to disappear. Her parting words kept playing in my head.
I guess I shouldn't be surprised at that last statement, since I asked you for the truth.
I scanned the area quickly, trying to pick up her current thoughts, but I heard nothing. She had either traveled beyond the range of my talent, or she was still effectively blocking me from her mind. How does she do that? Suddenly, I remembered that she still owed me an answer to that question, though, gauging from her earlier response, I had best not expect her to provide that detail anytime soon.
Edward, are you here alone?
Carlisle's thoughts abruptly rang through my head. He was approaching the house and had heard the faint creaking of the swing chains. I glanced back up at the sky, noting that the sun was much lower – evening was rapidly approaching.
"Yes, Carlisle," I called out to the north, knowing he would easily hear me.
Where's Rosalie?
I unconsciously shrugged my shoulders in response, not trusting my voice to mask the annoyance I was feeling at that moment.
A few seconds later, Carlisle appeared from the grove of trees, his skin sparkling the moment he stepped from the dark shadows and into a stray sunbeam.
"Esme?" I inquired quietly of her absence, looking over to him as he strolled up to the porch.
She's exploring an old, abandoned cabin that she spotted from the top of a ridge after we finished hunting. Where is Rosalie?
I stopped the swing and stood, steeling myself physically as well as mentally in preparation for answering Carlisle's question.
"She went for a walk down in the valley." I gestured to my right, indicating her direction. I did not elaborate further.
Carlisle studied me warily for a moment, then dropped his gaze and nodded.
How is she adjusting?
"Fine, or so it appears."
She has had thoughts that contradict her outward acceptance of her new life?
I pressed my lips together into a grimace, not wanting to answer that question. It still irked me that I didn't know how she continually barred me from her mind.
His suspecting gaze returned to my face when I did not answer immediately.
Son, what have you heard?
I momentarily thought back to the lies I had been forced to tell right before we left Rochester, and how terrible it had felt. I simply couldn't do it again.
"Carlisle, that's the problem – she's figured out how to block me, voluntarily keep me out of her head, whenever she chooses." I reached up to rub my temples in frustration. "I asked her how she did it, but she hasn't told me yet…" I refrained from detailing the rest of our conversation on the hillside.
"I know you and Esme have the ability to mask your thoughts when you want. How do you do it? Is it as easy as she's making it seem?" I questioned desperately.
"Yes, and no," he replied. "At first, it took me a while to figure out that I could block you. I would focus on something intensely, building a kind of mental 'wall,' if you will. But even after successfully blocking you from my thoughts, I still found myself constantly slipping up, the immense amount of concentration necessary for such a feat made the wall difficult to keep up and in place. It's not easy to learn, but with practice, the trick becomes easier to manage."
"And is it the same for Esme?"
A small smile played onto Carlisle's face. "Well, you'd have to ask her to get a detailed answer. From my personal understanding, it's relatively the same process, though she would most likely tell you that she rarely has a reason to keep you from her mind."
I nodded slowly in understanding, but this still didn't answer my burning question. Recognizing my aggravation, Carlisle shot me a crystal-clear thought.
She has talents we have yet to fully comprehend, Edward. For a newborn, her self-control is quite remarkable. That's probably why she's so easily able to block you.
As much as I hated to admit it, he was right - her talents continued to increasingly surface. However, along with the impressive abilities came the feeling that she was always two steps ahead of me, calculating her next move as I fought, frantically, just to understand her last one. Again, Carlisle sensed my fretfulness, correctly guessing the problem.
Are you two getting along well enough?
I opened my mouth to respond, then quickly closed it. What's the best way to answer this? Complete candor, or the 'less is more' approach? Why did it seem that most of his questions pertaining to Rosalie instantly provoked me to be less than truthful?
"Yes." The word came out reactively, before I could fully think through my response. Apparently, a part of me wasn't ready to expound on my increasingly strange relationship with her.
Don't push her away, Edward. You don't have to feel so alone in this world…
I instinctively growled at that last thought. "No, Carlisle. I told you, I will treat her as a sibling, that's all. You cannot expect more than that."
"I'm sorry, son. Please understand, I'm only trying to help you."
"I don't need that sort of help," I seethed. I didn't want to be so angry at him – a part of me knew he was speaking the truth, thinking only of my best interest. But a larger part of me reacted immediately, taking offense at the very suggestion that my relationship with Rosalie might evolve into something more than simple friendship. I turned on my heel, walking off the porch and around the house. I needed to hunt now - and lose myself from all thoughts of her.
It was approaching midnight when I drained the last buck. I sat back, sated, yet also sickeningly full of herbivore blood. I propped myself up against a large oak and stared blankly out across the dark valley. Despite the welcome distraction of the hunt, my mind mischievously tip-toed back to thoughts of Rosalie.
I started replaying our last conversation through my head again, re-analyzing her words and occasional thoughts. Admittedly, I was searching for patterns, little details I had missed that might clue me into what made her tick. But I was just as befuddled as before, attempting to decipher the enigma of Rosalie's mind.
My internal musings were unexpectedly interrupted by a very loud, intruding feminine voice in my head.
Fancy finding you here.
It was Rosalie – and she was close by. I scrambled to stand up, ashamed at being caught, sitting alone in the dark and thinking about her. I was still quite flustered and caught off-guard, even after reminding myself that she did not share the same talent as I, and couldn't possibly know what I had been thinking about.
"Edward," a musical voice rang out from behind me, deep within the foliage of the valley. I spun around, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. After a moment, I detected a sliver of white between two large trees as she gracefully strolled into view.
I met her gaze as evenly as I could, watching her flowing movements carefully for an indication of her mood, since she had closed her mind to me immediately after her last thought. She appeared relaxed and at ease; her expression relatively serene. Despite these observations, I waited warily for her to speak first.
She stopped just a foot and a half from me, sizing me up for a moment before glancing down at the carcass that still lay at my feet.
"Hunting?" The superciliousness in her voice cut through the air like a heavy battle axe. I didn't care for her tone at all, and my annoyance mounted as I saw her chin rise ever so slightly, almost like she was peering down her nose at me.
"Obviously."
"Well, then, I should leave you to that." She started to turn back in the direction she had come from.
I spoke out unconsciously. "I'm finished." Why did I say that?
Rosalie stopped and turned back to me, a suspicious grin growing on her face. "I see." She glanced up at the blanket of stars above us. "Beautiful night, isn't it?"
"I suppose so."
"Edward, why the attitude?"
I fought to think through my response before blurting out the first answer that came to mind. "I really don't know what you're talking about, Rosalie. I am simply a mirror, reflecting your apparent pomposity."
She nodded slightly, a twinkle in her eyes. "Touché. But seriously, you seem…agitated. What's wrong?"
A sense of dubiety crept into my bones. Why did she care? Regardless, I wasn't about to truthfully answer that, but I did want the promised answer to the question I had posed earlier that day.
"I kept up my part of the bargain today – now it's your turn."
Rosalie laughed merrily. "Oh yes, you want to know how I'm keeping you out of my head. Tell me, can you hear what I'm thinking right now?"
Although she had kept me out during this entire conversation, I decided to check again. Scanning her mind, I still heard nothing. I clenched my teeth in irritation before admitting to her trick.
"No."
Her smile grew. "How about now?"
You know, Edward, you're quite urbane when you choose to be. However, I get the sense that you'd really like to tell me exactly what is on your mind – shed that golden-boy persona once in awhile. Am I correct?
I reflexively pinched the bridge of my nose. "Wouldn't you like to know," I mocked.
"Please, tell me. Go ahead – be honest. After all, it's only fair, since you can hear what I'm really thinking."
"But therein lies the problem, Rosalie. I can't hear what you're thinking, unless you want me to. How are you so easily able to do that?"
She continued to smile – no, smirk at me, the smug expression causing my temper to simmer even more. "You're saying that I'm the only one you've encountered who can keep you out of their head? Carlisle and Esme don't have that talent?"
"Answer the question, Rose." I could hear the mounting snarl in my voice.
"Rose?" She cocked her head to the side, scrutinizing me even more closely now. She had closed her mind as soon as she permitted the last thought through, so I was blind once again from her internal musings. "You called me Rose?"
Although I wanted to steer her back to the question she obviously refused to answer, I had the sneaking suspicion that I had crossed some invisible line by condensing her name down to one syllable. "What?"
Suddenly she fully opened her mind, allowing me access to particular memories of her family and friends calling her Rose. She liked the nickname and associated it's use with those individuals she was most fond of. Not surprisingly, Royce had never called her Rose. I tried to discern if she was pleased or angry that I had inadvertently used the special moniker, but her feelings on that matter were very much unresolved at that moment. So I decided to ask her outright.
"Would you rather I not call you 'Rose'?"
She pressed her lips together in thought, her mind simultaneously closing once again. "No, it's fine. Though I must admit, I'm not used to hearing it with such an obnoxious tone."
"You continue to avoid the question that you promised to answer. I will gladly drop the distasteful tone once you keep your end of the bargain." Despite our less-than endearing manner towards one another, I felt an underlying current of playfulness flowing between us – I suspected she was enjoying this little game. But was I?
Before I could really ponder that latest revelation, she gave me exactly what I wanted.
"As you wish, dear Edward. It's rather simple, really. I just focus on not letting you into my head." She took a small step towards me, her gaze that had been steadily holding my eyes now drifted slightly downward, focusing on my mouth. I instinctively held my breath and froze as she leaned forward, inadvertently closing the gap between us. Now her exquisite face was just inches from mine as she continued to study my features. I swallowed painfully before answering as non-chalantly as I could.
"That easy, huh? No slip-ups?"
Rosalie laughed again, her warm breath washing over my face. As I involuntarily inhaled, I realized how gloriously sweet she smelled. How had I not noticed her scent before? "You tell me – have you heard something that you think I didn't want you to hear?"
She leaned in even further as her gaze left my lips and traveled back up to my eyes. I found myself mesmerized by her crimson stare, unable to peel myself away, even if I had wanted to. The small hairs on the back of my neck were rising, and I felt a slight tickle of electricity jolt through me as I stuttered out a reply.
"N - No."
"Then I guess I'm not slipping up. To use your brilliantly honest observations from earlier today, I presume that my 'tenacity' has something to do with my control – when I set my mind to something, it's nearly impossible for me to fail."
As she whispered, she remained perfectly at ease, her full lips less than an inch away from mine. My senses were quickly becoming overloaded by her presence, her scent continuing to wash over me, bringing on a faint sense of vertigo. Her melodic voice kept me in a stupor, and her eyes…they entranced me like Medusa herself.
I tried to break the spell by shaking my head slightly, but my body was betraying my wishes at an alarming rate. The command given to my feet, to step backwards, was completely ignored, as was the one to my hands, ordering them to reach up and push her out of my personal space. I couldn't move – and I could barely focus on her words, even though my mind was screaming at me to evaluate her last revelation. For a fleeting second, rational thought won out, and I wondered if she was being completely honest. But just as quickly as my attention flickered away from the temptress that stood before me, it returned hastily back to her, spurred on by a very powerful thought that radiated from her now-open mind.
Really Edward, aren't you happy to not hear everything that I think?
"Not particularly," I replied before realizing what I had said.
Well then, I'll have to work on letting you in more often.
Rosalie leaned her head forward, never breaking the powerful stare between us as I felt her lips barely brush mine. An all-out war erupted inside of me, my lucid mind now pitted against my traitorous body. One screamed at the other to move backwards; to flee this bizarre assault, but my feet refused to obey. Meanwhile, my hands were struggling to move from their frozen positions against the side of my body, desperately wanting to reach out and touch her. But, thankfully, they were over-ruled by the last shred of my functioning mind. The end result was every cell of my body remaining locked in place, unable to move either towards or away from her.
Slowly, she pulled back, giving me no chance to act on either of my desires. Another wave of confusion swept over me, and I began to feel like my body would tear itself in half as it fought to do something, anything in reaction to her forwardness.
But just as soon as the encounter had started, it was over. Rosalie stepped back, winked at me, then turned and ran off into the darkness.
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