Chapter 10

Sam and Dean were worried. They had gone in, tried to take on the devil, came up short and Castiel pulled their asses out of the fire. The problem was that they left their girl behind. Even though Castiel said that she was fine, that didn't assuage their feelings. They were worried and that was that. So they spent the evening in the room they were shacked up in for the night waiting for a call or something, anything that would tell them that their girl was fine.

Dean was pacing agitatedly and annoyed that Sam wasn't reacting in a similar manner. His brother was just sitting in a chair and looking at the door with Xander at his feet and both were looking like anxious puppies waiting for their master to get back. He would have expected Sam to be more vocal about leaving her behind or at least pacing like he was; he wanted Sam to show something that indicated that he was upset she wasn't there. "Where is she?"

"Dean…"

Dean made a sound and continued pacing. He would have started saying something when a knock sounded on the door. He halted and looked at Sam before edging up to the door and asking, "Who is it?"

"It's me."

Her voice was enough and Dean had the door open and demanding, "Where have you been Angie?"

Angela walked into the room. She looked exhausted and a little beat up but she was otherwise fine. To Sam's relief she found time to wash the blood off her hands and face but she still… looked like hell. She walked in and replied to Dean's question, "Out. In the middle of… I have no idea."

Sam couldn't help it, "Are you okay?"

Angela looked at him and nodded, "I'm fine." She sighed a bit and continued, "Kess pulled me out of there. He figured out how to break through the static I guess. And he just brought me to some old warehouse."

It sounded like the worst lie imaginable but it was the partial truth. Kesset did pull her out of there but he had help from Gabriel. With the pair of them, they found her and got her out though she was a little upset that she wasn't able follow through and lop the head off the devil. Still it was probably better than being left there since Lucifer did say he considered and was interested. And they brought her to that warehouse. She looked at the boys and said, "More to orient himself. Flying blind partially… can screw with sense of direction."

It made sense and Dean accepted it and Sam did too but he was more concerned about what happened at Carthage. He knew the devil said something to her and it bothered her. He didn't want to pester her especially since that now there really was time to sit back and think about what happened. Dean nodded and said, "Well, glad you're okay and in one piece. Just why did it take you so long to get here?"

Angela thought about that. She could tell the truth that she summoned Crowley through a standard demon summoning spell and then proceeded to beat her anger out on him and ended up with a discussion on being a killer. It would probably have both brothers be a little satisfied since it was a demon but on the other hand they would tend to worry. Instead she went with the next best thing and was still along the lines of the truth, "Kesset needed to reorient himself. He needed to figure out where we were and where you were…"

"And how did you do that?"

It was a reasonable question and one that Angela answered with some amount of levity, "Kesset is a guardian and he has some attachment to both of you."

It would have been funny at any other time. Now it wasn't so much and for the most part it was true. It was a concept to get used to but one that they just accepted since if you asked Kesset to explain, it would have been a lengthy and awkward one. So they accepted it. Dean nodded, "Okay. As long as you're okay Angie."

Angela nodded as she looked at nothing in particular and sat down in the empty chair in the room. She held her hands clasped in front of her and she wasn't looking forward to going home and giving the news to Bobby. Knowing Kesset though, he probably would give the grizzled hunter some relief. But that didn't mean that things were all well and good. She sighed and buried her face into her palms while hunched over.

Dean looked at Sam before leaving the room quietly along with Xander, leaving Sam alone with her. Sam wasn't sure of what to do at the moment since he was alone and he knew she didn't react like most people when it came to showing her feelings and he didn't want to do anything to cause her to do something she might regret. He looked at her still in the same position and took a quiet breath and went with impulse.

He was seated across from her so he reached across and was going to put his hand on her shoulder but changed direction. Going with instinct, he reached for the hand that was closest to his reach. Even though her hands were covering her face, he managed to work his fingers into her hand and gently pull it away from her face. He pulled her hand and cradled it in his large ones. He had always liked her hands since, even though they had calluses from years of working with weapons, they were still… soft was clichéd but he didn't have a better way to describe it, at least out loud. Every time he touched her hands, he felt content.

Right now he was trying to help her. He held her hand and with his thumbs began to gently massage the palm, feeling out the bones in her hand. He made a slight face since, upon closer inspection, her hands were red like they were chapped, rubbed raw from scrubbing. He frowned at it especially when he found some dry patches of skin. Making the decision, he went into the bathroom to grab the free sample of lotion. She was sitting just as he left her when he came back and pulled his seat closer.

It was nothing new helping put on salve. They had done it for each other times before. So it wasn't a problem for Sam to dab a bit of lotion on his finger tips and take the hand he had picked up previously and start to gently rub it in the red patches on her hand. It was not much but it was something and after a time, he got the sense he was being watched and upon looking up, he saw her looking at him, watching him. He offered, "Your hands looked dry."

Angela looked at her hand as it was being administered to. She knew that it was nearly rubbed raw and she had her reasons for that. The fact that he was trying to help her out, though a little thing, was a lot. She replied, "I scrubbed them."

"A little too hard," Sam commented as he finished. "But they are clean."

"It'll never come off."

Sam felt his throat convulse at that. He recalled seeing the way she looked at her hands after they left Bobby at the hospital. He could only imagine the things she had seen and… He held her hand and just caressed it. "I know… but…" He went quiet.

Angela looked at Sam and studied him. She realized he was trying to make her feel better and appreciated the effort. He was self-conscious about it because he felt what he knew wasn't adequate. Gently she tugged her hand free and in its place offered the other one. She gave him a silent look and waited.

Sam studied her before picking up her other hand and began the same treatment he gave the other one. He had been a little baffled when she pulled her hand away and a little hurt but it subsided when she put her other hand in his. So he took the trust she gave him and treated her hand. "I'm sorry Angie," he whispered.

"I know. I'm sorry too." Angela looked down but she still watched Sam's ministrations. She liked the feel of his hands on hers and she felt a little guilty for feeling that. She wanted comfort but she didn't feel like she deserved any of it. "I shouldn't have wandered off."

"Angie…" Sam paused, not wanting to be an ass and sound like he was scolding her, but he wanted to tell her that it wasn't her fault. He tried again, "You didn't know and… you needed to know why the reapers were there."

"Not really. It was curiosity," she replied.

Sam looked at her firmly and replied with a little firmness lining his voice, "You needed to know. You said it yourself that it was a kindness they made it so you couldn't see them. Seeing them like that…" He shrugged his shoulders since even he was a little baffled why they were showing like that. True he knew they showed up because Death the horseman was rising but still… "And Angie… even if you stayed with us… it could have gone down the same way."

Angela heard Sam's words and while she railed inwardly that it would have been different, even she knew that it would have gone down similarly. Or worse. She nodded and she couldn't resist. The tears started to flow. She kept her head down since she didn't want anyone to see her tears. She couldn't keep it all in though and her shoulders started to shudder from the pent up sorrow, anger and a bunch of other emotions.

Sam had finished her hand a while back and had been holding it. He just let her talk and work things through and he watched her. He saw her shoulders start to shake and he guessed correctly that she was crying. As much as it pained him or Dean to see her cry, he pushed that aside and did what instinct prompted him to do. He reached out and touched her face, lifting her head gently by her chin and saw the tears falling. With his thumb, he wiped away the tears that were on her cheek. It was enough and he found her in his arms, crying on his shoulder. He didn't know what to say but went with instinct and wrapped his arms around her body. One of his hands reached up and cautiously stroked her hair.

A few minutes passed and the crying reduced to sobs. Sam kept up stroking her hair and eventually she pulled back. She wiped her eyes and took a deep breath and sat back in her seat. She looked at him and gave a slight smile of thanks and reached out for his hand and grasped it in hers before she got up and went to the bathroom.

By that time Dean had come back with Xander and stated that the Impala was ready to go. Angela came out of the bathroom looking like nothing had happened but she did give a gentle squeeze to Sam's shoulder in silent thanks. Now it was just a matter of getting back to Sioux Falls.

We've just received an update that the governor has declared a state of emergency for Palding County, including the towns of Marion, Federville, and Carthage.

The storm system has reportedly touched down several tornadoes in the area.

The television was on but no one was watching it. No one needed to see it to know that there were things going on in that part of the country. Six of them went there and only four came out alive. In the scheme of things, in terms of numbers, it was considered acceptable losses. Anyone who subscribed to that whole heartedly was an idiot. Acceptable losses in terms of people… not acceptable and it fucking hurt.

Angela stood in the doorway to the room where the fireplace was burning. She was holding the puppies since their mother made her the babysitter while she went out to get some needed exercise and Cerebus was mounting guard. Xander was sitting by her feet, taking on the mantle of the ever watchful older sibling pup watching the younger ones. She stood there watching as Sam, Dean and Bobby stood by the fireplace.

It had been hard going in and telling Bobby what happened. She didn't like seeing the look on the grizzled hunter's face. She knew that he had a soft spot for Ellen though she suspected one of the main reasons, aside from hunting, they got along together was because of her. She wasn't blind either. She knew that kiss Ellen gave Bobby at Christmas was more than just because there was mistletoe there. There were feelings there and she took it away.

She watched as Bobby tossed the group picture taken before they had set out into the fire. She didn't have to see everything to know that there was nothing but sadness. True she had cried her tears and it made her embarrassed that she had vented particularly in front of Sam but… the way he touched her face, trying to wipe away her tears… It was comfort and what she craved but she felt that she was undeserving of such.

She wished she could give such to Bobby but she felt grossly unqualified and she was under the impression that he didn't want to talk to her. It was the wrong one but she was unaware of that. It was too many years of thinking the worst case scenario and seeing one too many friends die on the job. So she hung back and held the puppies in her arms. They attempted to provide comfort in their own puppy way since they could sense the emotions in the room.

It wasn't until long after the house was quiet that Angela stole out of the house and into the salvage yard. She had waited until now and the puppies were with their mother and Xander. Cerebus accompanied her as she snuck out of the house and headed in the general direction of where she had set up the training course. She had managed to change out of her blood stained clothes but she could still smell it on her and mostly because of the coat Murrieta gave her.

She made her way to where she knew there was less chance of disturbing anyone. She patted Cerebus on the head when he gave a low moan that was mingled with a whine. She rubbed his ears and hugged his head to her hip. She didn't realize that she had been followed and Cerebus had picked up who it was. Normally she would have but she was focused on her objective and didn't realize that both Winchesters had followed her just to make sure she was okay.

She made her way to a clearing that she saw Christian designated for sparring when he brought his trainees over. She stood in the center, holding the pipping she had found and prepped along the way. She fumbled in her pocket for the lighter she kept on her and lit her torch. With enough force she drove it into the ground where it stood providing light. She stood there looking into the darkness. She had shed her tears but now it was time to see responsibility through. She had waited since it required that someone be able to perform the words of sorrow with a strong stance. She heard a flutter of feathers and said, "Thank you for coming Kess."

Kesset adjusted his wings as he replied, "You asked I came. And it is an honor to perform the rite. I have what is needed." He pulled out the pack he had brought with him and showed her.

Angela took a peek and nodded, "Good." She gestured to put everything in place.

In short order everything was set up and they were standing with the torch flame being the only source of light. Angela looked at Kesset before looking into the darkness and recited the prayers in ancient Egyptian, the words of farewell, "A cycle has ended and you have been laid to rest. Ashes we were and ashes we become but forever preserved in those that are left behind to carry one the memory." She performed the gestures as she remembered them and Kesset did the same with her.

Kesset said his piece, "Though seasons pass and time fades, a mark is left for others to see. Like a river that follows we each carry a bit of what is left behind and onward to the future." He took a pinch of incense in his fingers and placed it on the flame of the torch.

Angela breathed in the scent, having not smelled it in a long time. She felt her lip twitch as she remembered the stories she had learned from church. It allowed her to take a deep breath and then looked forward. Opening her mouth, she began to sing.

It was a mournful song but it also held comfort. It was meant to not only sing of loss but also bring comfort; that the one who had died would have safe passage through to the other side. It was but pagan to a degree but it had roots that were old and even the angels, dicks as they were, respected it since its origins extended to their creation.

It was something she had learned a long time ago, back when she was at Karnak. Her first instance was when one of the Guard died in a battle. She had watched the preparation and the ceremony to see the deceased to the other side. The mummification part was not really an important thing and it was something that humans did to ease their grief and bring assurance of passage to the other side. Later she asked about the song and learned the words.

It was Setna that taught her the words and the meanings behind them. He had told her specifically that the song spoke of sadness that life was cut short but that how they lived would live on in memory. He also taught her a second one that was rarely used and it was only because it was sung for those that earned a place within a mourner's heart. It was that one she sang for Setna even though most others said that as a traitor he didn't deserve it. It was the one she was singing now.

The song sounded like someone was crying but that was part of it. It was one that came from the heart. That was the other reason she sang it. She was singing from her heart and it was for the one who was like a mother to her and the girl that was a sister and a girl she was partially responsible for raising. It was like that poem she heard that was carved at a temple in Japan but had been scratched out. The saying was that one cannot know loss but only feel it.

Angela looked up at the sky as she continued to sing. She had come to the end but she continued to sing like she was on a loop. The truth was she had only sang it for one person. There was till one more to sing it for. It only made sense to her and it just plain felt right. Slowly she put her hand in her coat pocket and pulled out one of the few things she was consistent in keeping on her person. Jo had given it to her when she left the Harvelle house.

It was a drawing down in a child's hand. Jo had drawn it when she was a little girl and gave it to her when she was older and still in high school. Angela kept it on her person ever since, usually tucked in her wallet. It was creased and well-worn from being opened and folded time and again. She held it in her hands as she finished the song a second time and stared off into the darkness.

"It was beautiful, princess."

Angela didn't look at her companion but continued to stare straight ahead. She replied in ancient Egyptian, "The song of the treasured dead, Kesset. Sung only for those that have earned a place in the mourner's heart."

Kesset nodded as he looked ahead. The flames made his blonde tinged tips look like his hair was on fire. His wings rustled slightly. He replied in the same language, "Yes. Those that are treasured are closest to the heart."

"Ellen was like a mother to me Kess," she replied, "She… mothered me from the first day that her husband Bill brought me to their home." Angela gave a wry chuckle. "She just put me in a room and patched me up and that was that. She made sure I got my strength back."

Kesset rustled his wings again. "It is understandable why you perform this ritual. Such it the old way but it holds meaning for you." He looked at the flames and thought a moment before adding, "It is nice you do such but should be done with those close to you. They would understand why you do this as such."

Angela looked at Kesset. He had started speaking in English and she decided it was only polite to continue that. She thought about what he had said and replied, "It holds meaning but… It is more because of what happened. I don't think…"

Kesset made a sound that sounded like a chirrup in his throat. "You think wrong princess. The elder mourns yes but he is glad you are alive. You mean much and more beyond what they say is your destiny." He looked at her like he was reproaching her. "But we all mourn in our own ways," he allowed.

Angela raised her brow at him. She appreciated that he spoke his mind every now and then. It was one of the few iron clad rules she kept when she used to lead whole squads. She surrounded herself with people who didn't bullshit her. Anything else just fed the ego and didn't do fucking shit when in battle. She knew that Kesset hadn't been valued too much for his opinion because of the whole sins of the father thing and she knew that the Winchesters asked for it.

He was honest with her and she always did tend to think she wasn't worthy of any sympathy. She replied, "Long story for feeling that Kess. Goes back to my time in hell. Long and short of it is that the physical is nothing but your mind… your own worst enemy. I ended up convincing myself that I was worthless and that was after I fought those souls to the death. So it took a very long time to get to this point and few people were able to help."

"I am familiar with your stay in Karnak. My father used to tell stories about his charge that fought with everybody and was convinced they wanted to use her for their own purposes. He said that they were scars that needed to heal."

"They were. They are still there and long since faded but they make who I am now." She looked at the Avian who rumbled a bit. "And that lesson was the most important I learned from your father. That and that he taught me the song of the treasured dead. It was why I sang that for him despite what others said." She looked into the night. "It's what I would sing for any who I care for and are special to me."

"It is what makes you honorable."

Angela made a slight sound at that. It sounded like a scoff but it was more polite than that. "I am not honorable. I just do what I can because it is the right thing to do and I know I can be a little extreme to the point where I will do something foolish like have Lucifer consider me as his vessel but in the end, when you live a long time, you appreciate how precious life is."

Kesset nodded, "True. I am but a hundred but still considered a child. I understand. Just know that I am with you princess. We will see this through."

Angela nodded accepting that. She knew he was a soldier but he was also a good friend. "We just need to pick up and move forward. There will be good days and bad days but… I will see this through and fix this."

"We'll fix this," Dean's voice entered.

Angela turned to look at the Winchesters. She was surprised they had followed her out here but she appreciated it. The looks they were giving her was affirmation that they would finish this. She nodded and turned to look into the night sky. The flames of the torch lit her features as she took a deep breath.

It was comforting to feel Sam's hand reach and gently squeeze it. She gave a glance and said something in ancient Egyptian. At that moment, Cerebus gave two long howls of mourning. They had suffered a loss but deep down, they knew that this was just the beginning.

A/N: Death has been unleashed and Ellen and Jo are dead. It is only the beginning in a long road. Stay tuned for 4.13 Asmodeus...