A/N: So, there were a couple of choices I had to make with this fan fiction, and so, I decided them with a coin toss...Some landed on yes (heads), others landed on no (tails). Either way, this chapter introduced some of those said coin tosses.
I don't own Mai HiME/Mai Otome.
Chapter 10
There was a sense of bitterness that Midori didn't want to accept, as it turned within her a sickening bile of half truth. She didn't know weather or not to beat Anh within an inch of her life, or go running behind Maria for guidance. All she knew was that the restlessness in the air was chilling.
It was not uncommon to hide a human, nor was it unheard of to protect them. Even if they had no real reason to hide from their own kind, many wished to follow the moon's call. There was an underlying sense uncertainty, that lingered in the depths of all the fascination. The very ideal that living creatures could change just like the moon, meant of course, that for every few people who feared them, one person, might be infatuated with them.
That was both a good and a bad thing. Scientists made a perversion of werewolf life, and wanted to study it. Yet, there were also humans who found mercy at the ends of their guns...unable to pull a trigger.
It was amazing what some humans would do, acting out of lesser intentions. Many without any guidance, others without any rhyme or reason. So, to think such a pathetic thing lived among them, bothered Midori. A human among them was no laughing matter, and they could be quite dangerous, if mishandled.
Anh found herself in a face down, late one evening. "It's on a need to know basis." That was her cool retort to her read haired comrade and bedfellow.
"It became something I need to know! I had to lie through my teeth!" Midori shouted. "Cut the crap, Anh." Unsteady words guided Midori, because she was unable to see beyond her anger. "The feeling of dread is all over you, and you can't hide that from me. I can see it in your eyes."
There were not often times, when a feeling of betrayal would cloak Anh. There were even less times, when she herself, would keep something hidden from Midori. Still with a sigh, she found herself unable to speak it. The marks upon their necks, and what they shared in the passionate depths of night, flowed over her. What they forged in the heat of battle, it all sat between them...another war. Glares were not enough of a fight, and words would do nothing but annoy them as they stood at odds.
Finally, with a relenting sigh, Anh caved. "Whatever I say, can't under any circumstance, ever be repeated to Natsuki." Anh told Midori. "She can't know about this. If I do tell you, swear to me that it won't ever reach her ears."
"I won't utter a word." Midori told her, unsure of just what had Anh so on edge. "You have my blood on that vow. I'll never say it."
"I was unsure of this myself, until recently." Anh breathed. "I'd always hoped, but, I've never really known." Her explanation was off kilter and confusing. Set askew with her own wavering feelings on the matter. "Saeko is alive." Anh murmured.
"I thought you said the two of you were separated in battle." Midori growled, not even more bothered by the events. "You were sure she was dead."
"Don't tell me you believed that tripe." Anh told her, surprised. "Midori sniffed me out long ago...how on earth could you not have known?"
"I believed in you." Midori answered with a cold admittance. "I had my doubts, but I washed that all away with my faith in my kin."
Anh nodded, and began her lengthy musings. They troubled her so greatly as of late. "Saeko was hiding among the humans, right under their noses, all this time." With that she pulled the cork out of her wine bottle. "Nearly a fortnight ago, she came here with a bloody man and frightened child." Anh shrugged, and then handed a newly poured glass to Midori. "I doubt I have to tell you the intimate details, for you to draw the correct conclusion."
"Mated?" Midori asked casually.
"Married..." Anh sighed. "Saeko won't do the ritual. She says that she can't...that she doesn't have the strength to see another of our kind romantically ever again." She sipped on her own wine, thinking about the man that was still very weak. "It isn't that he won't change...it's that she refuses to let him."
The new information gifted a feeling of immense guilt. "The child is Saeko's bloodline." The truth was an insanity. Midori bit her lip. "That complicates matters...that means..." Midori shook her head. "Natsuki has a right to know about this."
"Her mother, back from the dead?" Anh would let that happen. She couldn't, not after so long. "Think about what you're saying. The mere implication is a heavy handed one, Saeko should be dead. The fact that she isn't, is my burden to worry about." She felt the great weight settle over her shoulders. The lies she'd created mingled over time, and now, proof of those little white ghosts resided not far away. A living, breathing woman, with a husband and child, was not what Anh had envisioned for Saeko. "Natsuki basically raised herself, we haven't done enough for her."
"Then do more than enough now, and tell her about the family she has." Midori understood the situation, but she didn't agree with it. "It's true, if everyone finds out Saeko's alive, the consequences will be dire. I know this." Still, with a shuttering breath she could not contain, she let her disappointment flow over her. "I thought better of you...I know you are strong willed, and I'll be damned if you ever listened to reason, but this?" There was so many things wrong with this notion. "Why hide it?"
"Natsuki is a strong person, but, she is her father's daughter." Anh licked her lips, the tangible sensation of lingering wine no longer quelled her. "To know the truth, that her mother just abandoned her? That her mother left her behind, regardless of the reason, Natsuki would not accept that. Hatred is a very harsh mistress. I wouldn't want to see Natsuki shun away everything she holds in her heart."
"I think Natsuki is more forgiving than the leaders give her credit for." Midori considered those words, a vortex of spinning half truth, and denials. "I believe, those at the vigil, want to see her become the sire that she swore she would be. They have some moronic hope that her father's honor will strengthen her." A thick, grungy pathway of mud and decay, that no one should have to walk. "He was a war hero, and those are large prints to fill." If that were not enough, there was a finality to all of it. "We require her to start fulfilling her role...expecting that she will do the things her father did. What a false hope to carry."
"It may be false, but we always have faith in what we know." Anh sighed. "We know that she is his daughter."
"She is also Saeko's...and Saeko was a forgiving person." Midori told Anh. "I understand why you don't want Natsuki to know, and your reasons are valid. They make sense, I don't discount that." Still, there was still a stirring, a pang, that just didn't agree. "I just think Natsuki is still young, and she could benefit from her mother's guidance. It would be nice for her to have that family."
"Only if she doesn't cut them down with her own claws." Anh's reply enough of a warning. "Natsuki, just like her father, is a wildcard."
"She thought she lost everyone." Midori growled. "You lack the maternal instinct to care for her...you didn't even keep your promise to Saeko." Finally, she could not tiptoe around the facts. "If she decides to scorn her mother, that's her choice to make, not ours. You've got to tell her, or I will."
"Even on a blood vow?" Anh asked her. "You'd give you life just for her to know?"
"I lost all of my kin to that old war." Midori nodded. "I would have given anything to find out even one of them were alive, but instead, Maria took me into her embrace. I don't regret the many long years I've spent at her side, or yours...but I didn't become hers on a whim...nor did you." With that, she stood to look out at the fading sun in the sky. "We lost everything, and Natsuki still has something...don't you think that it's hers to have?"
…
It was a bad idea, and she knew it.
In fact, some people would peg her extremely stupid, just for coming up with the notion, as she sat in the shadows of Natsuki's home. It didn't bother her, and she liked to toy with fire. She hid, watching Shizuru, who was engrossed with a book. Natsuki was nowhere to be found, and Nao found the opportunity ripe for the taking. She licked her lips and exhaled sharply to steady herself as she jumped down from the entrance to the attic.
Landing deftly on the floor, her fingertips caressing the wood as she shook dust from her short hair. "I was getting lonely up there." Smirking at a startled Shizuru, she couldn't help but pull amusement from her wide eyed expression. "What never seen me land on my feet before?" She asked sarcastically.
"It's only you." She breathed a sigh of relief. "I thought it might be someone else."
Nao sniffed the air, coming up with nothing. "Like who?" She asked confused. "Natsuki's gone for the night, I think." At that she gave some thought to who else might come prowling around. "I'm the only one who has a house key."
"A strange woman came by." Shizuru let her guard down. "She said her name was Anh. She was a bit...odd, I suppose."
"She didn't try to shag you, did she?" Nao chortled with her hands on her hips. "I wouldn't put it past her to try something like that. I'd bet she'd think it good fun."
"At the very least." Shizuru told Nao dryly. "What brings you here. It isn't another full moon so soon, is it?"
"No. Use your damned nose, would ya! That's what it's there for." Nao finally sigh, and leaned against the wall. "So, you and Natsuki, huh?"
Shizuru didn't show it, but the low tone worried her. "What about us?" A question for a question.
"She has plans for you." Nao muttered then, not nearly enough amusement lacing her voice. Her tone was purely devilish. "If I were you, I'd be pissed off by that...then again, Natsuki always seems to get her way. Especially when it comes to people like you." Unnerving, and brutally honest. "But, hey...can't say I didn't see it coming." That was Nao's way, but this was completely devoid of malice. "I should have just let you die in the fire." An empty chasm of things Nao wouldn't say to Shizuru's face, kept the words from being soaked in venom. "Hell, what am I saying? I know you want her, so why should I be bothered, right?"
She took a few steps forward, her lime green eyes intending to make her point known. "I can't win." She explained. "If Natsuki wants you, she'll have you." Nao chuckled darkly then. "However, I'm still a werewolf. I've got my pride too."
Shizuru breathed, taken aback by the glinting lime green eyes that were filled with a familiar intention. "It's true that I have feelings for Natsuki...but it's even more true that you've acted on yours." Shizuru murmured. "She hasn't even kissed me yet. The two of you have done far more than that."
"You really are dense." Nao could smell the hints of uncertainty that wafted around Shizuru. "Come on Shizuru...don't make me get the chains. You know why I'm here...it has nothing to do with Natsuki." The growl was inviting, but also nearly deadly.
"You've no intention of having a fight over Natsuki." Understanding struck Shizuru. "You're not here because of her."
"Werewolves have a pretty deep history. We used to live in large family groups." Nao smirked. "The bond between Natsuki and I can never be broken." She pulled off her leather jacket and let her grin, one that was completely flirtatious, tug at her lips. "I told you that I'd protect you...doesn't get much better than mothering a Kuga's child...hell, in a few years, you'll have it made."
"Don't tell me you planned this." Shizuru reused to believe that. "You couldn't have."
"You're right. I didn't plan it. Call it icing on the cake." Nao said with a shrug. "However, last I checked, Natsuki wants something that I already decided I liked." She allowed a soft purr to slip past her throat. "I don't know where she gets off thinking that she can have you...but if she wants that, I guess I'll let her." Her boots came off next, and then she found herself stepping closer to the woman she was appraising. "But, in the end, you're still mine."
"I don't think it would be wise." Shizuru averted her eyes, and sighed. "Nao, this has to be a dangerous game you're playing."
"You're not pushing me away though." Nao murmured then in a soft, yet not angry snarl. "A human who changes into a werewolf will always retain a human heart." Nao told Shizuru softly, as she found herself looking up into crimson orbs. "No matter what you want to say about it, you know that even if Natsuki cares about you, she can't really give you what you need."
"That's for me to decide." Shizuru couldn't deny however, that she could sense a distinct power flow over her, making her wish to give into those searching eyes that seemed to order her to obey.
"Us." Nao murmured then, forcefully. "That's for us to decide. Don't think that once Natsuki takes you, that things will end between her and I, because I won't let it." At that, she just nodded her head and backed away, throwing herself upon the sofa unceremoniously. "At the same time, don't think for a second, that I'll lose you to Natsuki, either. You're still mine." Her words were so casually spoken, she didn't see the burning exasperation lingering in Shizuru's eyes.
She wants to play this game? There was a tinge of fury with that realization. "Is that so?" Shizuru stepped in front of the young woman and grabbed Nao by the shirt collar, pulling her up for a kiss that rattled the both of them. It was so forceful, that Shizuru could taste the distinctive taste of blood on her lips as she pulled away, breathing heavily. "According to Natsuki, you're still just a child in many ways." Shizuru told her heatedly. "I think you're both still quite childish."
"I'm still older than you." Nao stared into Shizuru's eyes, not giving an inch.
"Age is just a number." Shizuru told her as she pushed her back down onto the sofa. "You can't admit the way things really are, and that's childish. You refuse to acknowledge the fact that feelings go deeper than anyone can ever really understand." She loomed over Nao, and leaned down, giving a quick glimpse of her ample cleavage as she leaned in. "We've had sex before...and if you really want that, we can do it again." Her voice was soft but firm. "Even if we do, it won't change anything, because you'll have said nothing...that's the saddest thing about you and Natsuki."
"You wouldn't dare say that to her." Nao grumbled looking away, annoyed that she'd been caught.
"I don't have to say it to her." Shizuru sighed then. "She knows she pushes people away...but, she's also able to deal with things in her own good time." She cupped Nao's cheek, to force their eyes to make contact again. "You can't do that...you're happy to talk big, and yet...you'll always play the third wheel." She began to slide her hands under Nao's shirt. "What happens when I'm not tied up, and you aren't able to use your full strength?" Her fingertips had climbed so high, that Shizuru could feel the fabric of Nao's bra. "How brave will you be now?"
"Shut up." Nao finally ordered in a harsh whisper, pulling off her shirt, and tossing it behind her. "I can still take you on."
"I have no doubts about that." Shizuru smirked then. "But, this isn't just about sex. You said Natsuki couldn't give me what I need." She took Nao's hands, and guided them to her the hem of her shirt. "What makes you think that you can?"
"Fuck you." Nao groused. "I don't need to explain myself."
"A novel concept." Shizuru breathed. "You don't need to say a word. Why don't you just show me."
...
I don't even want to know. Natsuki thought to herself as she came in from her night out.
The sight that greeted her was not one that she was annoyed by. Still she was unsure just how to take the tangled embrace Shizuru and Nao were sleeping in. Nothing covered their forms, and it left no question to the events. Tuckered themselves out, though. She didn't give a second thought to throwing a blanket over the two of them, and going into the kitchen to get something to eat.
From beyond the counter she could see them. Nao's unguarded expression was something to be taken in, while the view was still there to be seen. It was rare to find her in such a state. Natsuki licked her lips, fully intent on just drinking some coffee, and then, going to bed for a few hours. Still she could not keep her eyes from drifting to the sight before her.
Forgoing her coffee, leaving her grounds on the counter top unprepared, she first picked up Shizuru, carrying her into her bedroom. Then she came back to retrieve Nao. The space would be crowded, undeniably so, but, she couldn't argue the fact that she wanted someplace warm to lay. Her covers didn't provide that. She knew for a fact, however, that the two occupants did.
So, she disrobed into something more comfortable. A pair of boxers made her overdressed considering the state both both Nao and Shizuru, but even so, she slipped under the covers. She embraced Shizuru and Nao's hand somehow found its way under her palm. It was an odd feelings, though Natsuki also couldn't deny what she felt.
It was fitting, somehow.
That's what sickened Natsuki the most. Feeling as if she'd just trampled upon sacred ground, she found herself angry at herself for moving them...for thinking she should be apart of it...even wanting to be apart of it at all. This was not their first time, but all of the other times Nao had made a move, Shizuru had been unable to deny the request. Shackles did that to a person.
No one would have answered her plea for help, if there had been any back then...now things were different.
As strange as it had been, a sense of wanting to protect Shizuru came easily to Natsuki...it was just as easy for her to do that, as it was to accept Nao's wish for an advance. The murky subtly was not something she wanted to deal with. "Perfect." She could hear the voice inside of her head pleasantly announce.
No...it's wrong. Natsuki replied back, wishing it would find the kindness to stay silent.
"Perfect, as it is now." The voice insisted. "Don't deny the ways of old...it is solid, true, and good."
I doubt there's anything good about this. Either way, it was no use to have an argument about it now, so she merely stayed in her place. She basked in the warmth with guilt, and clung to the tangled web even tighter than before...it was all she could do, waiting for dawn to come. She could not sleep, instead finding herself stuck between unrest, and lingering platitudes that she wanted nothing to do with. It bothered her so greatly in fact, that she forced herself up from the very confines of her covers, and then cursed several times over.
When she found that she could no longer share the bed with the two sleeping souls near her, she got up and paced her kitchen. Back and forth, her feet pattered on the cool floors. Even when Shizuru awoke to greet the day, Natsuki was grumbling to herself.
"You haven't slept at all." Shizuru noticed when she began to prepare the coffee Natsuki left out. "I noticed I was in your bed this morning, and your cloths are still on the floor."
"Hrm." It was Natsuki's annoyed reply that caused Shizuru to sigh.
"Don't you think you could at least yell? If you're angry, shouldn't you let me know about it?" Shizuru asked her. "I was expected you to be something nearing discontented, you know."
"There no reason to be angry." Natsuki muttered then. "Least of all at you." Natsuki pulled a chair out, and plopped down into it, her arms crossed. "I know who to blame, I can smell Nao's insistence wafting through the air." She lifted an eyebrow only slightly amused. "She wanted it bad enough to entice you. That's not a crime." She let her tired eyes slip closed, taking in the scent of coffee that began to fill the room. "You wanted it too, didn't you."
"I don't know." At that, Shizuru found herself at odds. "To be honest, this entire episode has me confused." Her fingers traced the swirls in the counter top idly, and her eyes watched the tricking liquid that dripped into the pot. "It isn't that I'm not used to having others trying to get my attention." That wasn't it at all, though she wished it was. "It used to happen all the time." It was something else...something that she'd already allowed herself to make peace with. "Natsuki, Nao didn't force me into it."
"I can smell that much." The woman of midnight tresses agreed.
"How am I to properly communicate?" Shizuru finally blurted out her question. ""What do I say to show another I'm interested? What is it that I should do?"
"You do nothing." Natsuki told her then. "You allow the advancement...if you aren't interested, you beat the sorry asshole in the head." Natsuki shrugged then. "That goes for Nao as well. Knock her block off, she'll get the idea."
"Sounds a bit violent, don't you think?" Shizuru turned around to see emerald eyes watching her. "Besides, I have no intention of raising a fist to anyone."
"Do you want me to do it for you?" Natsuki asked then, her tone quite telling. "I'll make it known that I want her to lay off...if that's what you want."
"You aren't at all jealous, are you?" Shizuru smirked a bit, finding that funny.
"No need to be." At that, Natsuki stood to get herself some of the dark coffee that had finished in the pot. As she fetched herself a cup, and some heavy cream, she relented her knowledge. "She's no threat to what I need from you." Natsuki replied casually. "Besides, I know better." She turned then, and slipped one of her hands underneath the collar of Shizuru's robe. "You have no mark on your shoulder. I would both see and smell it, if you did." She took a sip of the coffee, watching Shizuru decipher that information slowly, as if she, had not been fully awake. "Do you want me to mark you? Nao would leave you alone if I did."
At that, Shizuru backed away. "Is that a sordid attempt to ask me to marry you?" Shizuru shook her head laughing. "That was ridiculous, Natsuki."
"Suit yourself." Natsuki shrugged. "You're still going to be the one to bear my children one day. I won't allow you to say no to that."
As soon as those words hit her ears, a frown graced her lips. "I'm not property." Shizuru told her then. "You can't order me around."
"Who said it would be an order?" Natsuki sighed, and put down her mug. "Shizuru, one of the four moons will be rising over our heads soon enough." It wasn't easy to say, but she knew she had to do it. "Just like the night you were chained up, Nao will be on the prowl...and, so will I." Natsuki said then, trying to be gentle about things. "You've felt what it's like as a human, being near us..." She averted her eyes. "Now that you're one of us, do you really think you can resist the call?"
"I don't know..." Shizuru could admit, she hadn't any idea. "But, I do know this. I don't want to have a child, if that child will be raised in a household filled with sadness." Her heart beat slowly, and the words just slipped out before she could stop them. "If it isn't out of love, what other reason could there possibly be?"
"Bloodline." Natsuki said then, her voice barely there at all.
"That's a pretty selfish thing, don't you think?" He words were filled with heaviness, as if they carried some profound burden.
Natsuki swallowed hard. "We don't think like that, because werewolves can't hate their own offspring." Natsuki finally said after some deep thought. "The amount of commitment it takes, keeps us from hurting them. It would drive us to madness...our inner voice would start screaming at us to do the right thing...and if we didn't listen...well, you've seen what happens when we fight our instinctive urge." At that she poured her coffee down the drain, her eyes an honest truth. "We can't disregard things like that...everything we do, it's gotta be in their best interest."
"Listen to Natsuki." Nao yawned having been coming down the hall in a pair of Natsuki's boxers. "Trust me, even I think that way now."
"Took you long enough to wake up." Natsuki grumbled. "She's mine you little shit. Back off."
"I saw her first puppy, let me have my fun." Nao wasn't bothered by the dangerous growl she heard, fully welcoming it. "Anyway, it's because of that voice. It's why I don't want kids." Nao shrugged. "As soon as I have them, my inner voice will be intent on looking out for them, and protecting them." She made it sound like a burden she didn't want. "It's just a pain in the ass that I don't need."
…
They all ate in relative silence, a tense air went unspoken between Natsuki and Nao. They waited until they had some distance from Shizuru, and then, cold sparks flew.
"You could have warned me." Natsuki was on the vocal offensive. "I would have left you guys alone, but no, you had to rub my nose in it."
"There wasn't any point in telling you." Nao on the vocal defensive, standing her ground. "You're the one who told me you wanted her. If you do, fine. I don't care about that." She had bigger fish to fry. "Still, she's mine to play with when I want. If you think you'll get off that easily claiming my woman as yours, you're mistaken."
"Your woman?!" Natsuki balked at that. "Yours, you think she's yours!" It was nearly comical, but rage was first and foremost slung into the debate. "Of all the bullshit! Nao, you really think for a second you could start a progeny with her. Hell, on the night of the moon, if you even ran off, some of the older wolves would be all over her, and you know it!"
"You'd be one of em." Nao snarled.
"No shit." Natsuki fired back. "You need me to keep her where she belongs...and I decided I find her to be a good person. I like her Nao, is there anything wrong with that?"
"No." Nao admitted then with a sigh. "It's just...you've had your chances before...and you threw them away. Who's to say this time is really different!"
"Then tell me clearly, what do you want me to do?" Natsuki's voice was a growl, and she could see Nao required a calming hand to override her feelings. Natsuki was stronger, and though she had to expel a a lot of energy to do it, she made her strength known through her scent.
Nao looked away. "It doesn't matter."
"Yes, it does." Natsuki was taller, and when they were close together, she had to lift Nao's chin so that Nao would meet her gaze. "You're a terrible liar when you try to do it to me." She could see the look of animosity that seemed to pour out of Nao's eyes.
An instant, malicious growl protruding from her throat. "Don't screw with me."
"That's right." Natsuki muttered at her. "Lose your temper, I dare you." Her eyes became just as cold. "We both know who'll win that fight."
"You wouldn't care." Nao finally forced the words from her throat. "You wouldn't care anyway. You would just give me some sort of excuse." She pushed away from Natsuki, her heart racing. "Or you would ignore it. Go ahead, pretend nothing happened." She could hardly breath, her body willing her into fearful submission that she was fighting against. "Be the coward you've always been, and just leave me alone!"
Natsuki stepped forward again, grasping hold of Nao, and putting her fangs to the back of her neck. "You really are a child." Natsuki told her through a consoling purr. "Tell me what you want, Nao."
"You really want to know?" Everything drained from her. Even her willpower to fight was being sapped away into a comforting nothingness. With a sigh, Nao put a little space between them. She grabbed the collar of her own shirt, and ripped it open, leaving it tattered so that Natsuki could see her exposed shoulder. "I want familial rights to Shizuru. I'll answer to you, but in return, I want rights on Shizuru as well." Then, she pulled Natsuki close again, and gently pressed her shoulder to Natsuki's lips. "Mark me."
"What?" Natsuki murmured, unsure that she'd hear Nao correctly.
"The next mating moon isn't for a few more weeks." Nao told her. "But, when it rises, I want you to permanently mark me...it's already implied, so just make it known."
Natsuki swallowed hard, and sighed deeply, trying to find a trace of hesitancy. "Nao, you're not one to listen to anyone." She found not a single trace. "This isn't going to work."
"I'll make it work." Nao told her. "I'll listen, I'll do whatever it is that I need to do...I'll sit by your side and take up the Kuga namesake with you."
"I don't believe you." Natsuki told her, pulling away. "It isn't in your nature to be that loyal, not even to me."
"You need a family in order to take your place at the meetings." Nao told her. "If you mark me, and you take Shizuru as your own...you'll have the beginnings of your own branch family again."
"Prove it to me at the next meeting." Natsuki told her, not giving an inch, and yet, not taking one either. "I plan to make it known that Shizuru is mine. If you can deal with that, you've got a deal."
"I want familial rights, Natsuki." Nao urged her.
"That's up to Shizuru, and only after you have my mark on your shoulder." Natsuki made it clear. "My family will be run the way my father ran his. It was ironclad, and he was strong. No one bothered to question him besides my mother...and you will answer to everything I say."