DISCLAIMER: Just because I'm an obsessive fangirl doesn't mean I own Doctor Who.

AN: Wow, so sorry it's taken me so long to update! I had a bit of writer's block, and then school started, and I didn't have any time. I really hate leaving a story for as long as I did, but I'm back now! I think this chapter worked out pretty well, I just sat down to get things moving again, but I ended up writing this chapter in one sitting. As always, thanks to my reviewers of last chapter: TimeLadySkie, Trisana Sarrasri,Joanna Black Potter Malfoy, and Rwyf-Yn-y-Blaidd-Drwg. Please leave a review to let me know what you think! Italics symbolize flashbacks.

The song for this chapter is The Scientist, by Coldplay.

The Doctor ran a shaky hand through his hair. The TARDIS seemed so empty without her… the Doctor shook that thought aside. It hurt too much, especially knowing that this current situation was entirely his fault. His mind flashed back to a few weeks ago, back when everything was perfect.

Rose snuggled into the Doctor's side, resting her head on his shoulder. He instinctively tightened his arm against her, pulling her closer.

"Isn't this nice?" she asked smiling, tilting her head to look up at him.

"It is," he agreed, placing a kiss on her forehead, which made her smile broaden. "I'll admit it, you were right."

The Doctor had wanted to go on an adventure, but Rose had protested, saying she was still too worn out from the last one, which had involved running from not one but two sets of hostile aliens. Rose said instead she wanted a quiet evening in the TARDIS, perhaps a movie, and lots of quality snuggle time. The Doctor found it hard to resist, especially when she pouted a little, and widened her eyes. She was too adorable when she did that. Besides, the whole snuggling with Rose thing was new to him, and he quite enjoyed it. He'd always refrained from letting himself love her, but then one day he just gave in. It wasn't even a monumental moment, he just gave in and kissed her. Rose muttered something which sounded suspiciously like 'finally' under her breath.

So there they were, on the couch, snuggling. The Doctor had popped in The Lion King, one of his favorite movies, and Rose had just rolled her eyes and went along with. She was so beautiful.

"You're so beautiful," the Doctor said aloud, admiring her. Rose blushed a little, but smile back at him radiantly. He pulled her closer to him, and kissed her. He hadn't gotten used to that. Him! Kissing Rose! He had wanted to for so long. Finally, after lots of kissing, the Doctor pulled away.

"Well, we gonna watch the movie or not, then?" the Doctor asked.

"I suppose," Rose said, still smiling.

The Doctor put the movie in, but neither of them paid much attention to it, as the Doctor got distracted kissing Rose. And she didn't seem to mind.

The Doctor sighed, fiddling with a few controls on the TARDIS. Was it worth it? Had his actions been justified? No, he knew that nothing would ever justify losing Rose. She was too precious to him, she was all he had. He had thought he was trying to prevent them both from heartbreak, but looking back, he saw that his actions were entirely selfish. He was trying to protect himself, to shield himself, but he ended up blocking out Rose. God, how could he have been so stupid?

It had been a particularly hard day, with an adventure that was more frightening than usual. The Doctor had come entirely too close to losing Rose, and even now in the safe of the TARDIS, he pulled her in closer to his side, terrified that she might just disappear. They were lying in the dark of the Doctor's bedroom, neither one had wanted to sleep alone that night. The Doctor's mind was racing, and he knew he wouldn't get any sleep. He didn't need much anyways. He figured Rose was asleep, she hadn't said anything in quite some time. Just when the Doctor was finally starting to drift off himself, he heard a faint whisper.

"I love you," Rose said, just barely audible enough for the Doctor to hear. The Doctor's hearts felt like they might burst and break at the same time. The concept of Rose, his beautiful, beautiful Rose loving him, was almost too much joy for him to handle. But his hearts broke, because he knew it couldn't last. He couldn't protect Rose forever. Someday he'd be left all on his own, and he gave a muffled cry of anguish at the thought of it. He turned to Rose, who was wide awake, and staring at him, and kissed her with such a passion he'd never before realized he was capable of. Tears were streaming down his face, joy mixed with sorrow. Rose kissed him back fiercely, and he brushed away the tears that were beginning to fall from her own eyes. She understood as well, then.

"I won't let you leave me," the Doctor whispered, his voice breaking.

"Shh, Doctor," Rose soothed. "I'm not going anymore."

But she was. Someday, she would leave, whether it was death that took her, or her own decision to live out a full and proper life, she would leave. But the Doctor nodded his head, and allowed Rose to comfort him. For now, she was right here with him, a solid presence beside him. He kissed her again, wanting to feel the solidness of her lips against his. Neither of that got much in the way of sleep that night, they stayed entwined in each other's arms until morning. Neither of them spoke about that moment again, it was too much for either of them to bear.

That conversation kept weighing on the Doctor's mind, but what really got to him was those three little words: I love you. Part of him complained that if Rose really did love him, why did she leave him? But the rest of him knew that he had been an idiot, and drove Rose away. I love you. Those three words… so small, and so insignificant otherwise. But put together, it was so powerful. I love you. I love you. Just three little words, but they kept on haunting the Doctor's thoughts. If only he had said he loved her back, or if only he had allowed her to break down all the walls he had built, maybe then she'd still be here. The day when she left burned in the Doctor's mind, and he winced thinking about it. The pain of it was like an open wound, still fresh in the Doctor's mind after several days.

The Doctor had been fiddling about with the TARDIS when Rose came in, a light bounce in her step. He turned around to greet her, a smile on his face, but it felt forced. He couldn't look at her without thinking of all the terrible ways she could die, all the terrible ways she nearly had died, which were entirely his fault. If she died, it would be on his head, and that thought nearly killed him. Rose dying was terrible enough. But if Rose died because of him? It would be the end of him.

Rose wrapped her arms around the Doctor's neck and gave him a quick kiss, but he stood there, motionless as a statue.

"Is something wrong?" Rose asked.

"I… you… I can't do this," The Doctor managed to get out. The words took even him by surprise.

"What do you mean?" Rose asked pulling away, the hurt she felt clearly showing in her eyes.

"I've been thinking," the Doctor said. "And… I live a dangerous life. What I mean to say is… I'll outlive you. No matter what. But if you're with me, then… I just don't think that us… would work. That is to say… I mean… I don't want to lose you."

"You won't," Rose promised, reaching out for his hand.

"But I will!" the Doctor said, yanking his hand away. "And just us being together… it will only make it so much worse for the both of us when the time comes."

"What about that phrase 'it's better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all'?" Rose demanded.

"I can't do this," the Doctor whispered. "I'm sorry. Please, Rose, don't make me do this."

"Do what?" Rose asked. "Are you telling me you don't want me here anymore?"

"No, no, of course not, I just…" the Doctor trailed off. What was he trying to tell her? He wanted her there, so badly, but he knew that if he let their relationship go own, it would be so much worse for both of them when they had to part ways. He was just trying to spare them both some heartbreak.

"Well, what?" Rose asked, tears in her eyes.

"I don't know," the Doctor admitted. That was the truest answer he could give, but Rose looked like she'd been slapped.

"Fine, then," she said, tears spilling angrily down her cheeks. She grabbed her jacket from the TARDIS banister, and stomped over towards the door.

"Where are you going?" the Doctor asked.

"Home!" she yelled, yanking the door open. They'd been planning on dropping in to visit her mum anyways, so they were already in London. Rose slammed the door shut behind her, and the Doctor sank into a chair, suddenly unsure of how everything went so wrong.

That had been several days ago, and still Rose hadn't come back. The Doctor had left the TARDIS exactly where it was when she left, hoping that someday she'd come back to him. But she hadn't. In trying to prevent heartbreak, he had ended up causing more of it. All of a sudden, the Doctor knew what he had to do. He had been such a coward, sitting here these past few days! He didn't want to face the fact that Rose might not take him back, that she might be too mad at him for what he did. But he was the one who screwed up, and he needed to apologize. He leapt out the door, and ran down the streets of London, until he came to her home. Hesitantly, he knocked on the door. Rose opened the door, but her face hardened as soon as she saw who it was, and she looked like she wanted to shut the door.

"Wait," the Doctor said, before she could close him out.

She stopped, but he could tell she was still withdrawn form him. Her eyes were red and puffy, it was obvious she'd been crying. Even so, she looked beautiful.

"You look lovely," the Doctor said. From the way he drank in the sight of her, you'd have thought it was months or years since they last saw each other, not days.

"What do you want?" Rose asked.

"I… I want to apologize," the Doctor said. "I was completely wrong. I shouldn't have said what I did."

"Well, why did you?" Rose asked. It was clear a simple apology wouldn't cut it.

"There's no good reason for what I did," the Doctor said. "I have lived my entire life based on science, on logic and reason. Nobody ever said that this would be easy, and I knew that, but I wasn't prepared for how hard it would be. It's so new to me, all of this, and I made a mistake, but please just forgive me."

"What, Doctor?" Rose asked. "What is it that's so hard?"

"Love," the Doctor said. "I love you, Rose. I love you so, so much. I need you, physically need you. And it scares me, because I can't explain any of this with logic or reason, but I love you, and I need you, and please just forgive me, because I can't bear another day without you, please just say we can start over again, please just say you'll go back to the start with me, I don't know what I'll do if you don't. I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry, Rose, I—"

Suddenly Rose was kissing him, breaking him off before he could say anything else.

"I forgive you, Doctor," she said, kissing him again.

"Oh, Rose," the Doctor sighed, pulling her close to him, refusing to ever let go. He wouldn't make the same mistake twice, he would treasure every moment he had with her. After all, as Rose had said, it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

AN: Review, please! :)