CHARPETR NINE - PATERNAL INSTINCTS
EDWARD POV
I drove home from the movie theatre in silence. Emmett and Jasper were still comparing serial killers as we entered the house.
"We got mail" Emmett perked up picking up the letters from the floor. I walked to the kitchen and set my keys down in the tray.
"Mom sent us a post card" Emmett said flashing it in front of me. I grabbed it out of his hand and started reading it.
'The Caribbean is amazing boys, were having a fantastic time,
I hope you boys are behaving and the house is still in one piece,
Love you loads Mom and Dad x
"How do you even send post cards from a cruise ship anyway?" Emmett asked.
"Well obviously you have to wait to dock somewhere first durrr" Jasper mocked him.
"I know that emo boy" Emmett spat back.
"What did you call me?"
"You heard". Emmett said sarcastically. Jasper jumped on his back.
"Try saying that now" he said putting him in a head lock.
I rolled my eyes and headed up stairs to my room. I lay on my bed tiring to think of an excuse for my actions tonight. The only excuse I came up with was simple I couldn't control myself around her. I knew that I loved Bella but I didn't know why I was afraid to show her. I put my hands over my eyes and let the darkness take over.
I woke up on a beach to the sound of violins playing. I sat up and shook the sand out of my hair then stood up. The sun was that hot I took my shirt off because of the heat. I looked around and noticed a small child sitting around a bonfire playing a violin. Curiosity washed over me as I knew I recognized her. She had deep chocolate brown eyes and pale skin. She had long curly reddish brown hair with a bronze tint in like mine. Curiosity got the better of me.
"Hi" I said but she ignored me.
"Hello" I said again but she just kept on playing.
I smiled at her, for a small child she played the violin like she belonged in an orchestra. She played this sweet melody that sent a shiver down my spine. She was wearing a white dress with and underskirt that made the dress poof out. I felt a warming pair of hands around my waist.
"Don't disturb her" she whispered in my ear. I didn't turn around because I was frozen watching this child.
"Why doesn't she speak" I asked. Bella walked around in front of me, she was dressed in a white flowing dress that hugged her curves.
"She shell not speak because she has no voice" she answered. I looked at her confused.
"Can she hear us"
"She shell not hear us because she cannot hear " she replied. I was afraid to ask the next question as I knew what her answer would be, but I asked anyway.
"Can she see us."
"She shell not see us because she has no sight" she replied just as I thought.
"Why are you speaking in riddles".
The violin melody stopped along with everything else.
"Bella" I looked at her, she was frozen.
"Bella" I grabbed her arms and started to shake her out of it.
"Bella can you hear me" I said but she didn't respond.
It was like she was frozen on the spot, anxiety washed over me. I looked around and found that it wasn't just Bella that was frozen everything else was as well, even the ocean waves.
"You have come to seek your desires" a little angelic voice spoke.
I turned around to see the little girl staring at me. My hands dropped and I walked slowly towards her.
"Why is everything frozen" I asked.
"You only see what your eyes want to see. How can life be what you want it to be when you're frozen." she almost sang. I stood there puzzled thinking about her answer. Maybe it was me that was frozen and not everything else I thought.
"Why am I frozen" I asked.
"Love is a bird and she needs to fly" she nodded towards Bella. "Let all the hurt inside of you die. You're frozen when your hearts not open" she sang again.
I was started to get a little frustrated by all the riddles but looking at her angelic face made me smile and it relaxed me.
"By the time the sun will set, don't waste your time with hate and regret". She sang again this time she smiled at me. I couldn't help but smile back at this angelic contented child.
I looked up and everything started moving again only this it was reversing. I turned and saw Bella running backwards through the sand. I returned my gaze to the little girl as everything stopped and returned to normal. She started playing that sweet melody. I smiled as she reminded me of Bella so much. I felt a pair of hand wrap around my waist.
"Don't disturb her" she whispered in my ear.
At that moment I knew what the little girl meant. I was thinking everything was frozen around me but it wasn't, I was frozen in the middle of it all. Everything and everybody was moving around me but I couldn't see. I was afraid of opening up my heart I have never loved anybody as much as I love Bella. I locked my feelings of love, lust and desire deep within me and I became solid on the inside as well as the out. Bella held the key all along. The first time I saw her she unlocked it and all those feeling came rushing out to meet me and I got scared. If I keep them locked away then everybody will move on, my Bella will move on and I wasn't about to let that happen. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and I wanted to share and experience all that my life had to offer with her.
"Daddy" a little angelic voice interrupted my thoughts.
I looked at the little girl who was running at me with open arms. I bent down and held my arms open for her like any farther would. She leapt into my arms and nestled under my chin. A strange feeling I've never felt before washed over me, my paternal instincts went into overdrive. I loved this child so much and all I wanted to do was keep her safe in my arms. I understand now why she didn't speak before. I locked my hearts desires away from Bella and the world so therefore she could never exist. She had no voice, or sight because I wasn't ready to help create it. This child helped me unlock my heart so maybe there's still a chance that this child will someday exist in reality. I tuned towards Bella, she put her arm around me and kissed our daughters head.
"I told you she's a daddy's girl" she whispered. I smiled as my daughter chuckled in my arms. One single tear rolled down my cheek as I held my family for the first time at the beginning of our forever.
"EDWARD" I heard a voice shout.
"MOMS ON THE PHONE" my eyes snapped open. I lay there for a minute to try and make sense of the dream I was rudely awaken from.
"EDWARD" Emmett shouted again.
"IM COMING" I shouted back. I jumped out of bed and down the hall to pick up the phone on the landing.
"Hello"
"Hi hunny how are you" Esme said.
"I'm great mom how are you enjoying your break?"
"Oh hunny me and your farther are loving it so much, we went swimming with the dolphins it was so wonderful".
"That's great mom" I huffed.
"Hunny are you alright, you sound sad" she said realizing the sadness in my voice.
"His bummed because a girls rejected him" Emmett laughed on the other end of the line down stairs.
"EMMETT PUT THE PHONE DOWN" I shouted.
"Oh sweetie it will be alright I'm sure she hasn't rejected you" Esme reassured me.
"Mom I don't mean to sound rude but I really don't want to have this conversation with you."
"Ok hunny, I hope you feel better, I love you pumpkin" she said blowing kisses down the phone.
"Mom I'm not five years old anymore" I argued.
"I'm sorry darling" she laughed "One day when you have children you will understand that even though there all grown up they will still always be your babies" she continued. A lump formed in my throat listening to her words.
"Don't worry little Eddie momma's going to make it all better coochi coochi coo" Emmett laughed again.
"EMMETT YOUR DEAD" I shouted.
"Emmett leave your brother alone" Esme said with a stern voice.
"I'm sorry mom" Emmett said I could almost picture him fluttering his eye lashes.
"Enjoy the rest of your trip mom".
"Ok bye baby." I put the phone down.
I headed back to my room and slammed the door. I sat on my chair and thought about my mother's words which reminded me about the dream I just had. I've woke up finally seeing the world in a different light. I knew that I loved Bella with every inch of my newly found heart and I wanted to share it with her in every way possible. I also knew that there was a chance that she didn't feel the same way. So I promised myself that I would reveal everything to her. That way she could decide if she still wanted to be my friend. The friend I will always love until the day I die. I took my phone from the table and called her. Her phone just rang out and she didn't answer. I tried again but it was still the same. A pain shot through my chest as she didn't answer maybe I have blown it and she hates my guts I thought. I sent her a text and prayed she would reply back. I heard a knock on my door.
"Yeah" I shouted jasper entered and closed the door behind him.
"How are you"
"Splendid" I lied with a huff.
"Do you want to talk about last night" he asked.
"What about last night".
"Your too smart for your own boots Edward so don't try and play dumb, you haven't said a word since we left the movie theatre. What happened after I came out to check on Bella?"
"Nothing" I lied again.
"Edward I am your brother if you have got a problem then I have got a problem". He protested as I rolled my eyes.
"And don't roll your eyes at me Edward I know you to well to know something is wrong" he replied. I paused.
"I kissed her" I blurted out.
"And" he pushed.
"And I pulled away because I was scared, not about the kiss but of showing her my feelings" I admitted.
"And how did she react."
"She was upset, I could see the tears in her eyes Jasper, she probably things I'm some sort of physco for trying to kiss her." I put my face in my elbow to block everything out.
"Have you ever thought that maybe she was upset because you pulled away, rejection is a painful feeling? Trust me I know".
His words started to make sense I have never looked at it like that before. Maybe she did want me to kiss her and she got upset because I pulled away from her. It's not like she tried to pull away either. She probably thinks I have rejected her. I smiled as I thought about this concept that I still might have a chance to mend it.
"Thanks Jasper" I said pulling my arm away from my head. But he was gone.
I needed to see her and tell her now I feel. My plan was to take her to my special hideaway so that I could tell her there but there was a chance that she might not even what to get in my car. I didn't like the idea of pouring my heart out to her on her front porch inches away from her dad and his gun, but if she was to reject me at least she could slam the front door on my face in familiar territory. Even though I couldn't wait to see her it was too early to leave yet so I went to the music room.
I sat at the piano and started playing Bella's lullaby. I listened to the sweet tune that I was creating through my fingers, it sent a shiver down my spine then I paused realizing that this melody was in my dream. My daughter had been playing it on the violin. I smiled and continued playing.
I left the music room after spending over two hours in there which only felt like five minutes. I decided to have a shower to calm my nerves. I brushed my teeth and got dressed. My impatience took over and I couldn't wait any longer. I called Bella again but as the last two times she didn't answer I was starting to get worried so I headed downstairs and grabbed my keys out the kitchen and took off to my car.
I drove past the top of Bella's road. Relief washed over me as I saw her walking to her house. I pulled off just as she looked up and parked around the corner. I thought I would let her get in and settled before divulging my deepest secrets on her. About two minutes after my phone started ringing, I checked the caller id before I picked it up because I was only in the mood to talk to one person right now. It was Bella my heart started racing.
"Hello". She didn't reply.
"Bella are you there" I asked there was another silence.
"Edward there's someone in my house" she whispered with fear. My eyes widened with shock.
"WHAT" I growled.
Anger and anxiety engulfed my whole body. I gripped the steering wheel that hard it almost snapped into.
"IM ON MY WAY" I growled.
I threw the phone which bounced off the passenger seat while spinning the car around towards Bella's house.