I respectfully suggest listening to Aaron Copeland for the second portion of this chapter...Well, really start the chapter with Chris Isaak's Wicked Game and then move to Symphony for the Common Man then Appalachian Spring and end things up with Promise of Living...trust me.-J

Jimmy could see the shiver run through her body as he ran his fingers over her soft curves. He pulled her to him and onto the bed and laid her down gently then rested back on his heels and just looked at her noticing her blush as he gazed at her. With one hand he traced the contours of her face and brushed away a stray hair or two that had fallen over her brow.

Faith felt self-conscious to have Jimmy hovering over her just staring at her naked body. She had been naked in front of him before but every other time she had been so consumed with other feelings, fear, hurt and even her own wonton desires that she had not even thought about this man seeing her nude body. Of course he'd never really spent the time looking at her that he was right then either. She stopped the blush from rising in her cheeks. As he traced her face with his fingers so soft and gentle, she dared to look in his eyes to try to grasp what he was seeing. What she saw there was a man completely unguarded. There was no pretense within him, no façade. He looked at her with such love and such vulnerability that she nearly wept at the tenderness of it. His hand trailed down her neck and her eyes fell half closed from the sensation. The fingers kept travelling and soon were tracing her breasts. It was then he settled down next to her and brought his hand back up to turn her head toward him so that he could press his lips to hers. It was a soft kiss that still burned with a passion that was being held back for the time being.

Jimmy pulled back from the kiss which had been tame compared to some they had shared but had somehow contained more emotion than most. Her breathing was more rapid and he was aware that her hand was snaking between her legs. His own hand intercepted hers as he lightly stroked her inner thighs and then up to the apex of her legs. He lightly circled the hardness he found there as he lowered his lips to her breast and ran his tongue over the contours. He would flick back and forth at her nipple while rubbing harder that certain spot between her legs and then slide his fingers into her and trail his tongue back over the roundness of her breast. Finally he just kept rubbing at that hardened nub between her legs and held her tight to him as he kissed her neck. She was shaking in his arms and the muscles in her legs and belly were tensed and he could hear her whimpering until she cried out something that might have been meant to be words but was instead just a yell.

He climbed atop her and straddled her hips as he leaned down to kiss her panting mouth.

"Just when I think you can't get more beautiful, you somehow manage to prove me wrong."

She looped her hands behind his head to hold him closer and kiss him longer but eventually he broke the kiss and began to work his way down her body.

"You know you sometimes remind me of these pictures I saw one time of how Greek Goddesses looked," he told her between kisses, "Goddesses are supposed to be worshipped and that's what I aim to do right now."

Faith heard his words but was uncertain of them all the same. Sure there were boys who had wanted to court her when she was younger and Aaron told her she was beautiful but never like this. She had never felt quite this, well, to use Jimmy's word, 'worshipped'. She would have thought on it more but he was worshipping her with his mouth and tongue and hands all over her breasts and stomach and she just couldn't think anymore. She could feel his hardness pressing against her stomach and then her hips as he scooted lower and then her thighs. Still he straddled her but she expected at any moment he'd settle himself between her legs, and he did. But when he did he was kneeling between her knees. He placed a hand under each of her knees and pushed them upward. She did as he urged but looked at him uncertainly. He kissed first one knee and then the other. And then ran his fingers down her thighs stopping just before her wetness. Then he began trailing kisses down the inside of one of her thighs until his mouth reached the heat between her legs. She jumped a little and raised her head to see him smiling over her dark curls.

"Relax, I told you two could play that game," he said, "I will never, ever hurt you."

Faith relaxed as she felt his mouth descend on her once more and his hands cup under her buttocks lifting her toward him. His tongue first circled the hardened center of her desire and then darted inside of her kissing her lower lips as he had kissed her mouth earlier. She gripped the mattress tighter and tighter as the pleasure grew within her. At every circling of his tongue, every swift motion it made inside her, she felt the knots within her grow until finally she felt as if she had melted from the inside.

Jimmy lifted his head and kissed lightly along her quivering thighs waiting for her trembling to subside. Then his mouth lowered once more and began the same actions over again. Once Faith was breathing rapidly he picked his head up again and climbed back up the bed aligning his length with her and thrusting into her. His desire for her had been mounting through everything he had been doing to her and there was no initial tender pace, this was hard and fast and he was only half aware of Faith's legs wrapped around his waist and her nails down his back. He continued pounding into her until her legs tightened even more and so did the muscles surrounding his manhood. That was the one thing that could always put him over the edge and it did this time too. He could feel his release spill into her with every thrust as her muscles fluttered around him as if milking him.

At last he collapsed to the side of her out of breath and completely satisfied.

"You know, Faith," he said trying to catch his breath, "I actually never knew that could feel quite that good. Really. I mean it always feels good to take care of a need but that's all it ever was before. This, well, I can't even explain what's different but it's better than I've ever known."

Faith rolled toward him resting her head on his still heaving chest. She kissed him tenderly and then settled her head back onto him.

"Maybe it's because I love you so much," she said at last.

"I expect that might be it," he replied, "I guess we have a fair amount to talk about, don't we?"

"What's that?"

"Well I sort of did ask you to marry me," he clarified, "If I'm not mistaken, you said yes too."

"I was teasing you," she laughed, "I can't hold against you what you didn't even realize you'd said."

"Isn't that where this goes?" Jimmy asked, "We love each other. We're sharing a house, a bed. Doesn't marriage come next?"

"Jimmy, my head is swirling enough that you did what you did today just to ease my fears. That's enough for right now. We can talk more another time. It's been a long day. Let's just sleep. It's more than enough for me that you'll be in my arms still in the morning."

"But Faith I did mean it," he protested. He was certain he did but then maybe that wasn't the most romantic way to ask. "I know most guys get on one knee to ask and sometimes even have a ring or something but even though I didn't ask like that well, I still meant it."

Faith yawned against him, her lack of sleep from the night before along with all of the emotion of the day catching up with her.

"Please," she said wearily, "If there's talking to be done, it isn't anything that can't wait a few hours. Go to sleep."

Jimmy knew that her words were final for the night and now that he thought of it, he was pretty darned tired too. He kissed the top of Faith's head and closed his eyes to get some sleep.

He woke the next morning to the smells of breakfast and quickly pulled clothes on before staggering out into the kitchen. Faith was diligently working away getting the meal ready so she didn't notice Jimmy sneak up behind her and jumped when he snaked his arms around her middle.

"You're lucky I'd already put the knife down," she said before twirling in his arms to face him with a smile. "Good morning, handsome."

She placed a kiss on his lips as he stared at her bewildered. It was as if he had a completely different woman in his arms this morning. He rather liked her too.

Talk was light over breakfast but this time he was the one to bring the heavier topic into play.

"We do need to talk about things, you know."

"Am I your only woman?" she asked and he stared at her stunned that she could even ask. "Am I the only one you want forever?"

"Yes."

"You're the only man I want or need," she said staring unflinching into his eyes, "I suppose at some point we'll make this official and actually get married but that honest answer and the way you treat me is all I really need."

"The people in town," he began but was cut off by her waving hand.

"They've been chattering since I didn't take up with the first man that offered to marry me after Aaron died. It's not proper for a woman to live alone and now it's not proper to live with someone. Well maybe I've given up on proper."

"I'll only make it worse for you if we don't get married," he said.

She laughed at this. First it was a small titter but soon her head was on her arms on the table as her whole body shook with the laughter. When she finally got herself under control again and looked up at him, her face was red and there were streaks where her tears had flowed from laughing so hard. Faith wiped her eyes and took a breath to collect herself.

"I'm sorry," she said, "I was just picturing the first person to say anything disparaging about me to your face and what they might come face to face with. Being with you might increase what they say behind my back but it would put a stop to them saying it to my face. People are afraid of you whether you want them to be or not."

He grumbled a little at that.

"Don't get me wrong," she said, "I still expect at some point to be Mrs. James Hickok but we don't need to run a race to the altar. Maybe we can get used to just being together a little first."

Jimmy nodded and could see the reason in what she said but one thing was still bothering him.

"You don't really want to be married to me, do you?" he asked, "I can't blame you really but that's it, isn't it? You thought since I didn't know what I'd said that I didn't mean it so you could say you accepted but…"

His voice trailed away and he hated how wounded his voice was. He had been so exposed to this woman but still felt far too vulnerable right then.

Faith rose from her seat suddenly not feeling nearly as jovial as she just had. She'd not meant to hurt him but she had all the same. She walked over to him and crouched down next to where he sat and rested her hands on his leg.

"I might have been teasing at you a little yesterday but I meant what I said," she told him, "I accept your proposal and since you've made it more than clear that you meant it even if you weren't aware of it right away, I consider us engaged if it's all the same to you. Before you, everything in my life I cared about was snatched from me, first Aaron and then Adam. I wasn't even a whole person anymore. There was no joy in my life, no purpose. I woke today from a deep sleep that was free of sad or frightening dreams for the first time in I don't even know when and found myself safe in your arms. I've been married Jimmy and the wedding isn't when you get married. It's when everyone else acknowledges that you're married. You're married from the time you make that commitment to be there for each other through everything, to support the other's dreams, to understand what drives them and let them do what they need to do and still be there to love them when they fall. Usually that happens before the wedding but sometimes not until after. It's a private thing that's just between two people and it never really happens at the altar of a church. We're married, Jimmy. We just haven't had the formality of a wedding. Besides, weddings are for your friends and family to bear witness to your love and commitment and I don't really have friends here, or family for that matter. I don't see where it would matter to declare this in front of people who have done near to nothing but think ill of me since I was widowed. I couldn't care less for how scandalized they feel. I wouldn't be the first woman in a common law arrangement and I'll surely not be the last."

Tears shone in her eyes that looked decidedly green right then although Jimmy was sure if he looked away for a moment when he looked back they would be a different color. He was sobered by her words and knew the conviction in them from her expression. It made sense but above all he knew that she did want to marry him. There was no rejection. He shouldn't have doubted her but then he was kind of conditioned for such a thing and hadn't lived a life worthy of anyone such as the woman before him right then. Jimmy leaned forward and captured her lips which were just beginning to tremble with her emotion and wrapped her tight in his arms as he tried to tell her what her words meant to him with the kiss they shared. He wanted her to know the loneliness she was saving him from, the heartache he'd had and the hope he now felt grow within him.

Faith was overwhelmed by the emotion of his kiss and could not staunch the flow of tears. When their lips parted her cheeks were streaked with tears that he brushed away before kissing her cheeks and then her forehead. Then he stood and looked to the door.

"I suppose I'd better get to the chores," he said with the ghost of a smile on his lips, "Haven't been able to say that in some time but it feels good to have real work to do for a change."

Jimmy went out and to work. It did feel good to do physical labor again, to put his back into something and have something immediately to show for it even if it was just a clean stall. He looked up after a while to see Faith hanging clothes on the line, the sun catching the golds and reds in her brown hair and a simple hummed tune carried by the wind to him. This was the life he'd dreamed of, maybe not when he was a boy but once he had a better grasp on the world, this is the life he knew he wanted. The sun was warm on his back, the air fresh in his lungs and the woman across the yard was beautiful without even trying or being aware of it. He was old enough and wise enough and had seen enough to understand the beauty and grandeur of the commonplace, the quiet dignity of a simple life, the near divinity of a real connection between people. They are things that many take for granted. Those who have lost nothing in their lives have no appreciation for too often we only see the value of something once it is gone from our grasp. Jimmy knew though that once you've lost something precious that when you find the little nuggets of gold that life throws your way again, you hold tight to them for their value is understood. He had the basic chores around the place finished by lunch time while taking notes to himself of the little repairs that needed to be done here and there. Overall Faith had done a decent enough job of holding the place together on her own but he guessed that since Adam had passed that she had possibly cared less and less about much of anything. He would see to things though.

Faith called him in to lunch and he ate quietly. Once the quiet had sat between them like an uninvited and unpleasant guest but now it was like an old friend. There was no discomfort to the lack of words for this was not the silence of people who did not know what to say but that of those who don't need to say anything. Once he finished eating Jimmy asked Faith if there happened to be some paper around and perhaps something to write with as well.

"Of course," she said, "Is it okay to ask why?"

"It's okay to ask anything," he said, "If we're getting married we don't need no secrets between us. I wanted to write a letter. I thought maybe Emma and Sam might still be in Omaha. I haven't heard about anyone else being appointed territorial marshal."

Faith smiled and for a brief instant there were tears in her eyes telling of her hurt for him and how distanced he'd become from his family and those who had loved him but then it was gone and she just got up and got him the things he needed.

Jimmy stared at the blank sheet for a time wondering exactly how to go about writing after so much time had passed. He felt like he didn't even deserve to bother her.

"You know she probably still prays for you every night," Faith said as if reading his mind, "I can't imagine a child of mine somewhere and I don't even know where. It wouldn't matter how long he'd been away or what he'd be doing, hearing from him would be a treasure. Just start writing. Any words that come to you will be dear to her heart."

Jimmy blinked the moisture away from his eyes and set pen to paper.

Dear Emma,

I have no excuse for not writing before now. I guess I'm not that good at it anyway and then after a while it just seemed too much time had passed and there wasn't any good in any of it anyway. I didn't figure I had much to say that would make you happy or proud and you mean too much to me to send you words that would make you sad or disappoint you. I guess I can't change what I done though. I wish I could, I really do. I haven't lived at all like you tried to teach me and I guess I didn't want you thinking your trying didn't matter. It did and so often I'm ashamed of things I done because of what you would think of me. I'm sorry I left you to worry all this time.

I guess I'm writing because I finally have something good to say. I met someone, Emma. She's a real lady too. Her name's Faith and it fits her too because she's got more of it than any ten people I know except for maybe you and she shares it freely. We're engaged. I asked her on accident sort of but I meant it all the same and we're going to get married. She's a widow and her little boy died not long ago but we help each other through and I guess that's what it is to be together like this. I wish you could see her Emma. She has no idea how beautiful she is. Her eyes are mysterious like yours. Like she's challenging me or something but they are the most interesting color too. They are always a different color every time I look at them and her hair is like a waterfall the way the mist from one catches the sun and turns it into every color of the rainbow. When her hair catches the sun, the colors that come to it. I guess some would just say it was brown but it's so much more. Maybe I should stop describing her now. She was reading over my shoulder and just walked away blushing beet red. She is beautiful though.

I wish I had more worth telling but I guess that's big enough news for now. I gave up being a lawman for now. It's too dangerous and it frightened Faith. I can't be scaring her like that; she's been through too much already. This is a good life for me though. I'm happy. Maybe I was just waiting to write until I could write those words. I really am happy, Emma. First time since we was all together in Sweetwater I think I could say that but it's true now.

I hope you and Sam are doing alright. Please tell him I asked after him too. He taught me more about being a man the first day I met him than my own father did in all the years he lived. He should know that.

You take care of yourself, Emma and take care of Sam too. If you're not too mad for me keeping quiet all these years, I sure would love to hear from you.

Jimmy paused in the writing, unsure how to sign off.

"Most people sign with 'love'," Faith told him from over his shoulder.

Love,

Jimmy

Jimmy set the pen down and leaned back in his chair. Faith was standing behind him and leaned down to wrap her arms around his shoulders and kissed his neck.

So sweet I think. Hope everyone is enjoying this.-J