Chapter 10: Roomates
Living with Jill Valentine was hell. Not the fire and brimstone hell that was popular in the Western Hemisphere of archetypes, the woman was many things but not neither monstrous nor unreasonable. In fact she kept mostly to herself meaning preventing Hawkeye from really getting to know the blonde other than the fact she was good with a gun. Most of her time could be split between tending to chores throughout the small apartment they had shacked up in, working out, cleaning her gun, brief fits of extremely light sleep, and extended periods of time where she seemed to drift off into her own little world. As far as roommates go she had been, from a sexless standpoint, been one of the best Hawkeye had every bunked with. From the very sexy standpoint of lying on the ground staring up at her granite like ass she was one of the worst.
Hawkeye was a simple man with simple needs, one of which was situated just south of his core and was very powerful for a simple need. Ever since he was a teen he had been in possession of a particularly difficult to sate libido which was unfortunate because he rarely had a chance to calm it with a girlfriend. His dating and subsequent marriage of Mockingbird, along with the smattering of women he had intimate relationships with after a cycle of death-rebirth had destroyed his marriage, was all he had to show for sex-wise. Normally Hawkeye would have had many more temporary lady-loves in his life but his inclusion into the Avengers, then as leader of the West Coast Avengers, had forced him to become a role model for impressionable children. Since his inclusion into a super hero outfit was often questioned thanks to the fact he had no super powers, Hawkeye had decided to abstain from sexual promiscuity to maintain some sort of super hero reputation. As such he was forced to "perform his own stunts" to help stave off the craziness borne from the sustained periods of celibacy he endured. Unfortunately all this experience with "shooting himself out of a cannon" proved to be useless thanks to raw sexiness that was Jill Valentine.
All she wore was that skin tight suit that helped her move unhindered while flaunting her marvelous figure plus it more than likely chafed making Hawkeye dream about rubbing lotion all over her. Whether it was preparing dinner, doing push-ups, or even scrubbing the toilet Jill exuded an aura of sexuality only exuded by a legendary dancer who had finished the pole routine of her life. While she had the body of a goddess the mysterious blond also had the hearing of a bat, the smallest sound could draw her attention even if she was asleep. The pizzeria apartment was small too, from where he lay in the living room Hawkeye could see the rest of the floor unobstructed leaving his horny self exposed if he began to attend to his male needs. She never left the apartment either, leaving Hawkeye under her watchful eye 24/7. Deprived of servicing himself with his hands he normally would have done it without them, it wouldn't have been half as satisfying but the poor hero had long since passed the threshold when he demanded anything that might have been a competent job. Unfortunately fate had been spiteful enough to have the boards where he was dumped in order to be medically tended to have the squeakiest floor planks he had ever come across. Breathing normally made them squeak lightly, the crescendo of hip gyrations to even supply the bare minimum amount of relief normally would have been like a heavy metal band practicing in a cave. It had literally come to the point where he was starved of release that Hawkeye began to believe that he would die of the insanity of not being able to masturbate.
Thankfully for this sad sack of hormones his lamentations over his all-consuming libido were interrupted by the arrival of the family who had lived there on the afternoon of the seventh day since the pair had decided to squat there. Having fled from the zombie invasion into the safety of a government safe house they had been detained after the invasion in order to make sure that whatever had corrupted the flesh of the undead horde was not lying dormant on their person somewhere. After a myriad of tests to assure that they weren't carriers they had been green-lit to return to their home which they wished to reclaim immediately. Jill had curtly agreed to vacate the premises after checking on Hawkeye's back injury. Once he had been cleared for moving about without any unmanageable pain he had been forced to get up and walk into the public sphere shirtless, sweaty, disheveled, with a hot girl in tow, and a an erection he was fighting like hell to contain on a visual level so that it could pass as simply being very well endowed downstairs.
The walk out of hell took about forty minutes as he led Jill to his apartment; normally it would have taken fifteen but he had to be sure that no busybody would be able to connect the dots if they saw Hawkeye enter Clint Barton's apartment. It took a bit but he did make it into his apartment without being spotted thanks to a combination of back alleys and entering from the window rather than the front door. It was while he helping the blond into his room he realized what an absolute sty his bachelor pad was. His formerly grimy discarded clothes were now rancid from being neglected for days plus his stock of food had rotted, both in the fridge as well as wherever the cartons of old Chinese food was placed. "S-sorry, I, uh, am not real good with the whole cleaning shtick" he had admitted while red as a tomato "Thanks for dropping me off at my place." He fully expected her to get out of there as fast as possible to return home but apparently the blond had other ideas. "I am currently in need of housing. Would it be acceptable to remain here for a few more days as to ascertain my position?" she asked him dully. Even if she hadn't saved his life Hawkeye would never have thrown a babe out of his house.
While the first impression of his domicile had been turned to shit (never a good thing when you're looking to impress a hot date) it had given him an excuse to get Jill out of the apartment. Writing out a list of necessities they needed to restock he had all but pushed her out the door. The minute the clack of her heels faded from his above average ear shot Hawkeye raced to the bathroom fumbling wildly with the hem of his pants. His initial jitteriness combined with the fact his legs were still recovering from a period of disuse caused him to trip over a bundle of clothes sending him face down onto the ground. For a second Hawkeye considered this as good a place as any to burst free but even under the grips of a hormonal frenzy he couldn't permit such an incredibly pleasurable event to take place in the confines of dirty clothing. Forced to wiggle out of his pants to continue Hawkeye ran across his apartment naked save for his mask as well as his shoes into the worthy sanctuary of his bathroom. Staggering into the ceramic restroom he barely had the sense to close the door behind him before sliding onto the lidded toilet seat.
Contrasting sharply with the cool aqua blue of the tiles that made up the interior of his bathroom his cock was a vivid shade of orange with a deep crimson tip. Giving a sharp exhale in appreciation for both his size as well as the blessing of being a man Hawkeye slowly lifted his right hand and grasped his dick in a firm clasp. His fingers wrapped around the shaft with just enough room to spare for each of them, he had been nursing this erection for a week leaving it in the limbo of what Hawkeye had lamely named stage two. Stage two was the canvas of the orgasm, a defined piece but lots of room to grow depending on what was used to stimulate it. Reaching awkwardly behind him with his left hand Hawkeye unclasped a small hidden tube situated behind his toilet, it had been waiting there for such an occasion as this. Uncorking the lid he coated his penis like a baker frosts pastries until his entire shaft was lubricated. The lotion had no scent; Hawkeye had always held a distain for using too much fluff in sexual activities preferring the raw smell of an orgasm to cinnamon or vanilla or whatever the hell chicks were into these days. Once used the bottle dropped uselessly to the side as Hawkeye began to stroke his cock using powerful pulls that milked every single spark of carnal electricity, the senses dulled as all energies were devoted into relaying the movements of his hand to his brain.
As he sat there in a pleasure stupor Hawkeye debated with himself on what to do with this particular erection. The sex starved part of his brain pushed that he should skip the usual formalities of an erection and get straight to the good stuff. It futilely reasoned that Jill could come back for a number of superficial reasons and the last thing they wanted was to blow a possible relationship because she found him wanking in the bathroom. The other, more mature, part of his brain scoffed at that plan pointing out that Hawkeye rarely had an opportunity to nurture such an erection thanks to his poor self-control issues when it came to masturbation. Haste makes waste, it reasoned and Hawkeye was inclined to agree.
Previous experiences had taught Hawkeye to let the erection build naturally at first; a cock could grow unaided by an outside force just fine for a time. Leaning back Hawkeye continues his long full strokes using the jittery hormones that slammed through his veins to do the bulk of the work in reaching stage three of his erection. Luckily hormones and porn could not set off an orgasm by their lonesome, a force had to enact upon the tip in order to reach a climax. Once his steaming cock had hit that threshold Hawkeye switched his grip so that his thumb was pressing down on the hot tip of his cock with the rest of his grip spread across the shaft as widely as they could. He pressed down with his thumb sending an electric tingle down his penis into his balls, the stimulation necessary if he wanted go Mt. Krakatoa. Whenever he watched porn he had to resist laughing as whoever was filming always manage to pull away from the babe early on to the male having sex with her. Before piercing her vagina with his cock he would fool around with it, no doubt keeping it erect long enough to get to that part, choosing to shake his penis like a can of soda. From a trove of experience he knew that this did nothing to help stimulate the erection, the real fuel came from the cock's tip which was hardwired to blow depending on how much stimulation it was getting.
The key to a grade A orgasm was to balance these parcels of pleasure sparks with periods of cool down periods long enough to edge away from an early ejaculation but short enough not to drop the erection entirely forcing the inexperienced bro to work it back up again from scratch. Being as experienced as he was Hawkeye was fairly accurate at predicting when he was about to vault over the edge of no return when it came to his erection but the jitteriness of his hormones made him proceed with care, the little extra boost they added could potentially ruin his fun too early. He backed off his cock tip clasping his penis with his entire right hand deciding to keep the fun going with nice long pulls of his cock like he had in the beginning. To spice things up a bit more he began to feel himself up, the hormonal jitteriness made even the most innocuous of touches was titillating. Slowly trailing the fingers of his left hand down his body he stopped to lightly massage his ripped abs which was covered in a light down of hair. Hawkeye had not been given the chance to shave for a while; typically he liked to keep the hair short and stubbly. Of course the chest hair that had managed to sprout during his week in amateur traction was dwarfed by the resurgence of pubic hair that now entangled his boner. Despite disliking too much fluff to get in the way of love making Hawkeye had found some basic manscaping to be preferable to the veritable jungles of the short and curlies he had to fight off with a bi-weekly shave to combat their weed like growth.
Ignoring the blond foliage camped about his cock he turned his attention to his nipples which he pinched to get a surge of hormonal buzz that snaked down to his core. In reaction to this his boner flexed sending small droplets of lotion down onto his balls which then slowly trailed down his scrotum spurring him on. Tired of this two bit feel up (courtesy of himself no less) Hawkeye decided to get the show on the road. Grasping his raging boner in both hands he began to relentlessly molest his cock tip with both thumbs sending a steady stream of orgasmic delight straight into his balls which began to quiver in anticipation for what was going to happen next. "Fuck yes, Fuck yes, Fuck yes….Fuck yes" he moaned scraping all the lubricant he could off his shaft into the upper parts of his palms where he could massage it directly onto his tip. He slammed his feet onto the bathtub's rim which was directly across from the toilet rubbing his booted soles onto the smooth white ceramic. He arched his back until he pushed his ass off the toilet seat completely o the point where he was standing at a diagonal slant using his feet to brace himself from falling over. His hips thrusted in the air while his fingers continued to smash his cock tip between them rubbing that beautiful nerve that was the key to everything important in this moment "Fuck yeah, ah,ah,ah,ah" words could no longer contain the deep seated pleasure that was generating from his balls, only the guttural growls of a man had a place here now.
With one last yank of his right hand he felt the sweet sensation of a volt of electricity slam through his body from toe to tip paralyzing his body for a glorious second. "Ah,ah,ah" his growling jumped up an octave as the precum spackled his calves signaling the big finish "F-Fuck!" While Hawkeye's mind swam with the glory that was the endorphins of an orgasm his cock proceeded to soot a shotgun worthy blast of sticky white stuff at the interior bathtub wall. The splatter was about two quarter's length in circumference which then proceeded to ooze down the wall slowly. This initial fire house blast was followed by several more clumps that boosted out of his cock hole; they were fat little droplets which flew in a high wide arc. With each successful orgasmic seizure this condensed cum was flung shorter and shorter with each boost until eventually Hawkeye was reduced to trying to pump the last few droplets of man cream out of his shaft. Perhaps the only thing that rivaled an orgasm was the lull right after an orgasm as the hormones continue to buzz dully and your eyes reopen from sheer delight to proudly take note of what your body had accomplished. First and foremost he mentally congratulated himself on the force and amount of cum he had initially ejaculated, he couldn't control those two things directly but it was an incredible boost to his studhood that his body was capable of such feats. Unconsciously he wiped his legs, which had been covered in cum from the rest of his orgasm, and wiped it on his steaming cock in some sort of half-hearted attempt to try the mythical double orgasm. The salty stuff mixed with the lotion creating that raw ass sex smell he was so fond of allowing him to sink deeper into a post-orgasm after glow.
Stewing in this lovely, hazy, state of mind for an immeasurable amount of time he failed to hear the door to his apartment open with little more than a light tap as the doorknob hit the wall behind it. Jill Valentine had returned bearing several bags of groceries in her arms. Looking around the room for her strange new housemate she noted that in her absence he had neglected to clean up after himself. Placing the bags on the counter she began to unload the foodstuff into the pantry while throwing out everything in there that had expired. Her normally placid mind suddenly to buzz a bit as she stocked the shelves, a memory was working its way back into her head.
"Lunch time" she cried out entering the office space where the S.T.A.R.S did their paper work. When she had initially joined the police force she had been dumbstruck by the amount of paperwork the police had to fill out on a daily basis. The entire point of her joining the police was to avoid sitting in a chair from 9-5, she wanted to bust bad guys not write citations. Unloading the large cardboard box filled with paper bags unto the communications desk she called out for everybody again. Barry was, of course, the first to answer her call. The man loved food and hated vegetables causing him to have a small paunch despite the amount of exercise they were supposed to clock in per week. "Thanks for running down to the diner for us Jill" he said checking the contents of the bag with his name written on it with black Sharpie "My turn tomorrow, right?" Jill nodded before looking around the room "Where is the Captain and Chris?" she asked noting the absence of the two senior officers. "Captain Wesker is meeting with Chief Irons. Where do you think Chris is?"
Barry rolled his eyes "If I had a nickel…" Jill passed by Barry who was already devouring his meal with two bags in her hands. The first one she sat down on Captain Wesker's desk hoping the meeting would end before the food got cold. The other bag she placed next to Rebecca Chambers, the rookie, startling her from the paperwork she was feverishly working on. "Oh, s-sorry" she said sitting up straight and saluting her senior. Jill waved her down "None of that Chambers; we're both junior officers here." Taking a moment to chat with the newest member of the team Jill pulled her chair around "How are you getting adjusted to the job?" "Oh, I'm doing well thank you" Rebecca replied giving her fellow team mate a big smile "I really like working here even if has only been two weeks or so." "I find that hard to believe, you've only gone out on patrol once" Jill replied looking at Rebecca in mock disbelief "Most of what you've done is paperwork, don't you want to nab bad guys?" Rebecca paled a bit "W-well, that's part of the job and I've trained for that sort of thing but I like paperwork. It's nice and peaceful." Jill nodded understandingly "I wish you could do mine, I hate the stuff and it never seems to end" she whined before getting up out of her chair "Hopefully they'll be a little less once that new guy joins the force." "What's his name again" Rebecca asked blushing a bit "I want to make sure he feels welcome but I've only heard it once." "It starts with an L" Jill stated unsure of herself "I think it's Lenny, or Lionel. An "Le" sort of name, Captain Wesker probably knows."
Leaving Rebecca to her lunch Jill put her chair back at her desk before grabbing the last two bags on the cardboard tray and heading down the hall to the police headquarters' gym. As Barry had predicted, Chris was inside; when she opened the door she could hear the continuous grunts that rhythmically sounded off as the senior police officer bench pressed with Enrique as his spotter. "Lunch time, eh?" Enrique asked noting the bags in Jill's hands "Is one of them mine?" "Funny, I don't seem to recall you chipping in when I ran down for food" she replied lightly causing the junior officer to frown. "Sheesh, that look could freeze hell" he muttered before heading to the door "I'll be back soon Chris." The senior officer stopped his work out and sat up on the bench taking the bag from Jill "Thanks Valentine, I appreciate it." Chris said. She shrugged "No problem partner" she was still getting used to calling Chris partner, it had only been a few days ago that Chief Irons had announced the buddy system policy going into effect. To help with scheduling the chief had decided to pair everyone up according to their job experience, all junior officers were to be mentored and trained with a senior officer.
It had been a big surprise that she had been paired up with Redfield, a surprise and a bit overwhelming at times. Aside from Captain Wesker it was the unanimous agreement throughout the entire department that the poster boy for S.T.A.R.S was definitely Chris Redfield. The guy was extremely dedicated to his job, he was the first to arrive and the last to leave, he rarely took any vacation days and he never called in sick, whether it was patrol or paperwork he did it without any complaint, and he was a nice guy to boot. Brad had pointed the senior police officer out to Rebecca on her first day and informed her that Chris was the next generation of perfect robotic police officers and that Chief Irons had been building a series of them to patrol the streets of Raccoon City. They had all gotten a good laugh out of that one but the sentiment was true, if there was anyone who could get anything done it was Chris Redfield.
Jill joined Chris for lunch, using another bench press device as a temporary table, observing him out of the corner of her eye. He was wearing gray sweats and a matching tee-shirt which was stained with fresh sweat. Recently everyone had noticed how often Chris had been hitting the gym lately, while he had been in great shape before his biceps now rippled with cord upon cord of muscles. Jill recalled eavesdropping on a conversation between Barry and Chris as she was trying to motivate herself to do the paper work in front of her. They had been making small talk over the water cooler and the subject of hobbies had come up. Barry had asked his fellow police officer what he did for fun citing fishing as one of his favorite things to do in his spare time. Chris was a pretty private guy, no one really knew what he liked to do despite being friends with everyone in the force, so it had surprised her that he replied that he had recently taken an interest in body building.
'I wonder if Chris really is that boring' she thought meditating on that conversation as she ate her sandwich. "I have to confess, I'm not really sure about this whole partners thing" Chris suddenly spoke up putting his lunch aside for a second. Jill ducked her head in shame; she knew he was way better at being a police officer and no doubt he was a bit apprehensive about shuttling around a junior officer. "Don't worry about me" she assured him "I know I'm not at your level yet but I won't slow you down at all, promise." He looked at her in surprise "Oh no, I wasn't talking about you Valentine. You're pretty recent but I can already see you've got loads of talent. I'm not worried at all about you slowing me down, quite the opposite in fact." He sighed and rubbed his head sending small droplets of sweat everywhere "It's me that I'm worried about. I've always done my police work solo. I can't help but be concerned over my lack of experience in that area." Jill shot him a quizzical look "I can't imagine it being that hard. It's just making sure you don't step on each other's toes right?"Chris gave her a solemn look that deflated the small amount of humor Jill had injected into her statement. "It's more than that Valentine; it's about trust and commitment. Whenever you or I plow ahead into danger we need to know that we've got each other's back no matter what."
Jill felt like someone had punched her in the gut, she had been taking this partners thing as seriously as a summer day while Chris had been agonizing over this for a while now. "You're right" she said morosely "And I guess the best way to start with trusting one another is to start sharing stuff." Reaching into her back pocket she withdrew a small photograph with a man and two women smiling in its frame. "This is my dad and mom, I'm an only child" she said handing it over to Chris "They live here in Raccoon City and they weren't really pleased that I became a police officer. They wanted me to be a lawyer instead, nice and safe right?" The pair laughed for a second well aware of how much Jill despised paperwork. Then Chris took out a locket that he had hidden underneath the collar of his shirt "This is my sister Claire. Our parents died a few years ago in a car crash so I've been taking care of her myself." Jill couldn't help but feel honored that Chris was willing to talk about himself "She's very pretty, is she in college?" she asked looking at the picture showing Chris standing behind a petite brunette that was beaming at the camera. "Yale believe it or not, she's going to major in Biology" he replied unable to hide the inane amount of pride he had for his sister "I can't wait to see her again during Christmas break." He looked at Jill with a small smile on his face "I'm not going to lie, I'm glad Irons picked you to be my partner."
Grimacing, Jill placed her hand down on the counter allowing her head to process the memory. The therapist had told her that this would happen but they happened so infrequently that whenever a memory did reappear it always took her by surprise. According to the B.S.A.A, her therapist and Chris, Wesker had been used some kind of parasite to control her in the recent past. The brain trauma had been pretty severe as the parasite had jacked straight into her frontal lobe in order to control her movements. As such when Chris and fellow B.S.A.A agent Sheva had saved her from the blonde's clutches they had found out that she was missing most of her memory, both the past and during her time as Wesker's minion. Jill had been in rehab for about a year now since then and she had made a scant amount of progress since. All she really knew was that Chris was her friend; everything else had been destroyed by the parasite.
She needed to find him again, how she had gotten here into this city was a blank making her fear that the parasite's effects could extend beyond whenever it was severed with its host body. Even though she had no concrete evidence Jill was certain he was in the city as well, a strange feeling for one who had been robbed of her emotions. With Hawkeye allowing her stay in his apartment she could use it as a temporary dwelling place until she could locate Chris. Robotically she looked around noting the masked man was nowhere in sight. Processing this her mind computed several factors, first and foremost was the fact the pants he was wearing before she had left were now lying discarded on the floor. The possibility he was taking a bath was negated by the fact there was no shower running in the bathroom opening up the possibility of his kidnapping. Unable to factor in why a possible kidnapper would deprive her masked roommate of his pants Jill strolled over to the window. Hawkeye had locked it after the pair had entered the building and he had pulled the blinds shut. A closer inspection negated the possibility of an unknown force entering via the window, the window had not been tampered with and the shades had not been touched. A small moan caught her attention; it was coming from the bathroom. In three elegant strides she was in front of the door with one leg poised to kick it down and confront whatever was behind it.
However she hesitated, it was impolite to barge in on someone when they were in the bathroom. Balancing on one foot she rapped on the door "Hawkeye can you please respond?" A yelp caught her attention and nearly made her spring into action before she recognized her roommate's voice. "Uh….uh…shit" Hawkeye muttered cursing as Jill heard him clamber around the bathroom in a most disorganized way. She could hear things falling to the ground "Are you unharmed?" she asked feeling something buzz in her mind. Occasionally she had experienced these before; her therapist claimed they were repressed emotions surfacing when Jill was observing some kind of event that would have normally caused her to emote strongly. She wasn't sure but this emotion might be annoyance mixed with some suspicion, she regarded it curiously. A particularly large thump could be heard from the bathroom which was accompanied by another long string of swear words. Deducing he had fallen into the tub Jill lowered her leg and knocked again on the door. "Do you require assistance" she asked which netted her a long pause. "N-no, I'm fine…just fine" he replied sounding a bit depressed leaving Jill unaware she had nearly killed him with the irony of her question. Deciding the situation had been resolved Jill returned to stocking the pantry pausing only to contemplate why Hawkeye had whispered to himself asking why he was such a repressed pussy.
After cleaning up the mess he made in the bathroom Hawkeye put his tube of lotion back behind the toilet, wiped up his spent cum and gave himself a long cold shower to help dispel his hormones for the time being. Unfortunately for him the towel he had used to clean up his orgasm was also the only one left in the bathroom. Clad in a garment soaked with a mixture f water and sperm he had rushed into the living room, grabbed his Hawkeye costume pants and returned to the bathroom while trying to force down a massive blush that threatened to explode all over his face. He exited the shower wearing only his pants and his mask with his body gleaming from the water; Jill did not question his strange behavior. "Sorry bout the mess" he said saddling up to the breakfast bar where two plates full of food had been set "I'll clean my shit up, I swear." "I would be most grateful" Jill coolly replied pushing one of the plates over to him "I shall be gone until this evening." He quirked an eyebrow as he began to shovel down the grub "Why? Got plans for the evening?" "I am looking for a man called Chris Redfield, an agent in the B.S.A.A" she said causing him freeze up. 'Please don't let it be a boyfriend, please don't let it be a boyfriend, please don't let it be a boyfriend' he begged to a higher power mentally. Swallowing his food he hesitated for a bit "Nope, doesn't ring any bells" he crossed his fingers behind his back "Is he your…boyfriend or something?"
"No, he is my partner" she replied and the answer stabbed him in the heart. It was even worse than he had feared, she had a lover. Sinking into depression Hawkeye ate the rest of his meal in sadness watching Jill finish her meal, clean her plate in the sink before walking out the door giving him one last eyeful of beautiful ass that taunted him with how delicious it was. The rest of the day was spent cleaning his apartment in a defeated manner; one could practically hear the Lonely Hearts Club band in the distance as Hawkeye moped about putting his clothes in a laundry basket before heading out of his apartment as the unspectacular Clint Barton. While he was in his apartment's laundry room when the thought finally crossed his mind, he couldn't let Jill know he was Hawkeye. Identity protection was a major part of the super hero code and in his hormonally induced stupor he had offered to be roomies with her. Suddenly the fact she had a fuck buddy didn't sound as bad as it did before, if she was shacking up with the guy it would save Hawkeye a lot of trouble. Still he didn't like to rely on the small chance she would locate this Redfield guy in the span of one day so he had to think up of a backup plan, not one of his specialties.
As he was putting his clothes away he unconsciously turned on the T.V to provide some background noise. "—terrorizing the public enjoying Central Park" the newscaster piped up catching Hawkeye's interest "This mysterious thug has already sent several people to the hospital with broken appendages. While no deaths have occurred yet the police unit that arrived here to help get things under control were a part of the ones sent to the hospital. The mayor has called for all residents to avoid Central Park until the police have a chance to arrest this violent criminal."'Duty calls' he thought happy that something had come along to snap him out of his funk. Donning a newly cleaned Hawkeye costume Clint slung his bow and his quiver over his shoulder and headed out the window. He was about a block away before he realized he might not make it back before Jill so he returned and left her a brief note explaining he was going to the park. As he dashed towards Central Park he took stock of his injuries, his legs had gotten over their week long disuse but his back continued to twinge with every step and flare with every acrobatic twist. He wasn't at one hundred percent yet but for now it would be more than enough to put some punk in his place.
Finding the guy proved not to be difficult at all, even from afar Hawkeye could clearly see the grayish puffs of smoke emanating from the middle of the park. With a graceful double flip (and accompanying twinge that warned him against trying another of those again anytime soon) he landed from the top of a nearby parking garage onto the cement sidewalk that rimmed Central Park. The bystanders nearby curious to see what man could send the police to the hospital cheered at his arrival. Waving at them in a cocky manner he jogged down one of the footpaths that lead to the heart of the park. As he roamed closer to the middle he began to notice some of the details of the battle. At first it was some scuff marks made by a bevy of battlers, likely the punk fighting off several people at a time, then a few dents in trees where someone had impacted them after being thrown. There were some bullet holes farther down suggesting that the police had failed to negotiate with the thug and opened fire. Hawkeye didn't see any blood trails leading away from the accident which worried him, could this guy had dodged every shot fired at him? 'He could be a potential mutant or worse' Hawkeye thought slowing down a bit.
He emerged in a clearing strewn with picnic benches and tables to encourage tourists to sit and admire the fusion of nature and urbanization. Sitting cross legged on one of the tables was a red haired man wearing a purple karate outfit. Deciding to ask questions first and shoot later Hawkeye approached him cautiously "Are you the guy who sent all those police officers to the hospital" he asked keeping a few feet away just in case. "Maggots like them are weak and deserved to be crushed by the strong" the weirdo replied in a deep angry sounding voice "I looked forward to battling the residents of this word and yet all they have offered me were bloodless minnows." Whistling sarcastically in reply Hawkeye knocked an arrow and aimed at the guy's neck "Alright chuckles, we're going to do this nice and easy now. You get off the bench and into jail or else you become food for the ducks, I bet they'd like a change in cuisine." "Are you challenging me" the man asked in a voice that made Hawkeye hesitate for a brief second. "You bet yer ass I'm challenging you, challenging you to make a move" he barked back.
Even with his 20/20 vision Hawkeye barely registered the mysterious man turn on a dime and smack his bow away with one huge meaty hand. His arrow fell to the ground thanks to the sudden lack of tension while Hawkeye went flying back into a picnic bench due to a follow up haymaker. Groaning he stood up drawing a second arrow from his quiver "Not my finest moment but you messed with the wrong guy here asshole" his arrow whistled towards the man who had not moved an inch from the edge of the picnic table. His intense eyes didn't so much as waver as he grabbed the arrow out of the air and broke it in two. "Pitiful" the purple clad man murmured dropping the halves of the arrow "Run along worm, this Akuma is tired of stepping on toads like yourself." "Fuck you, ginger" Hawkeye roared back firing off two more which the man simply caught again. "You are testing my pa—"was all he got out before a brief plume of smoke dispelled from both arrows into his eyes making him stagger back. Rushing forward Hawkeye seized advantage of the situation by bludgeoning the man's face with a barrage of hooks before a kick to the midsection opened up wide enough for Hawkeye to drop kick him away and into the picnic table he had been sitting on.
"Like em" Hawkeye asked grabbing some more arrows from his quiver "Tear gas is perfect for pretentious bastards like you." He fired a tranquilizer round prepared to end this sham of a battle once and for all but the delinquent wasn't going down yet. Unaffected by the tear gas he opened his eyes which were red from irritation and chopped the arrow out of the air. "Parlor tricks" he sneered, cocking both his arms back till his open hands were at his sides "Let's see you handle a real warrior's spirit, boy" Hawkeye sent two more arrows at the guy ready to blind him once again but just as he shot them the man thrust both his hands forward. "Hadouken" he cried releasing a purplish flame from his palms which incinerated the arrows and blasted Hawkeye. The hero cried out as the flames burst against him with a nasty wave of heat that neither burned nor singed but hit him with such a force that it sent him crumpling to his knees. While he was panting for breath the cruel warrior swaggered forward, wordlessly he grabbed the collar of Hawkeye's shirt and tossed him into the air. The hero took one uppercut to the middle then a second to the pelvis then a third to the upper chest, this twisted version of volleyball continued for awhile before the man grew bored and kicked Hawkeye into a tree. "Do you understand the difference now puny one, this Akuma is far superior to you" he called to his downed opponent. "Fuck you asshole, I've faced bigger shits then you who have all told me the same thing" Hawkeye wheezed as he sat into a kneeling position "And you know what? I beat them all." With a cry he sprang forward swiping at the man with his bow, the karate guy blocked by bringing his left arm up to protect his head but staggered back from the jab Hawkeye launched with his free hand. The guy slid back a few feet before cocking his arms once again "Hadouken" he called launching another fireball but Hawkeye was ready this time.
With an agonizing flip he leapt over the projectile launching an arrow that landed directly between the man's legs. The arrow exploded knocking the guy off balance which allowed the hero to launch a kick to the face that drove the guy back before following up with an elbow to the gut which opened his opponent up enough for Hawkeye to shoot him right in the abdomen. The arrow released a powerful electrical charge that would have rattled an elephant but karate man merely flinched in response. Swooping down he grabbed Hawkeye's leg and twisted him about in mid-air before slamming him on the ground. The poor hero's mind was reeling from this blow so he didn't struggle as the red head hoisted him into the air by his neck. "You are not the bug I believed you are" he admitted but looked pleased nonetheless "For your efforts I shall sacrifice you to the Satsui no Hadou, you just barely qualified for that." A purplish aura cloaked the man and a creeping chill began to make its way down Hawkeye's body. Two shots rang out, on hitting the karate bastard in the arm and the other puncturing his chest. Not reacting in the slightest the man glimpsed over to his left to spy a woman in a skin tight purple suit with a pistol in her hand.
"Get away Jill" Hawkeye yelled using the last dregs of strength but she chose to ignore him nonetheless. "Put down Hawkeye" she ordered which the man complied by tossing the poor hero behind him like trash. "Be warned, wench, that this Akuma is tired of worms" the red head growled at her "Leave me to my prize or serve me a better offer." Jill didn't respond as she shot him again and again but no matter how many bullet holes she put in the stranger he didn't stagger "Target for experimentation confirmed" she said with a steely robotic voice Hawkeye had never heard from her before "Master Wesker will be pleased at the stamina in this one, beginning acquisition." She raced at the man her pistol spinning on her thumb like a child's toy disregarding all kinds of gun safety laws. He blocked her jab and jumped over her sweep but the ensuing close range shot opened him up long enough to let Jill in. She pounded him with a haymaker that crumpled him then swept one foot around her in a perfect rotation that wouldn't have looked out of place in an Olympic level rhythmic gymnastics competition. Her heel found one of the bullet holes in his body as it swung around digging into it to open it further. As blood gushed out of his abdomen she fired the rest of her gun's ammo into his chest before taking out her heel out of his chest and sending him flying with a haymaker to the gut.
With one motion she swept her hand through the air getting rid of most of the blood that had drenched it while popping her gun open to release the spent shells, then she quickly reloaded before pointing her weapon at him. "Very good" the red head murmured lightly fingering the wound that spanned his entire chest "But not enough to take down this Akuma." A dark purple aura enshrouded him completely healing each and every bullet hole it touched, even the new ones Jill plugged him with as he stood there. With a kiai he pushed himself up on his feet rushing at the blonde, a mad smile plastered on his face, with such speed the lithe Jill had no hope to dodge. He smashed her once with a forearm shiv that sent her rattling back a few feet before grabbing her right arm and tossing her forward like a rag doll. Luckily Jill managed to twist herself in midair landing from a one armed handstand into a crouching position, one Hawkeye recognized. Her head whipped forward with a mechanical jerk piercing the strange man's red eyes with her inhumane yellow ones. Simply slamming both his feet down onto the ground like a sumo wrestler the man gestured to Jill with the flick of two of his fingers.
Whether on two legs or four Jill continued to move at a pace that was graceful and aggressive, it made Hawkeye a bit nervous as he watched her moves. Crawling over to the man she dodged two punches that sank into the ground harmlessly before whipping her foot at him as she spun around resulting in a nasty crack that made even Hawkeye shudder. Jumping onto his open back Jill slung her legs around his neck shooting two bullets that should have shattered his spine before twisting his head between her thighs trying to snap his neck. The man was made of stronger stuff than marrow apparently as he bucked her off before following her descent with an elbow slam to the gut. Stunned she was helpless to resist as he grabbed her by the neck and hoisted her up, all of his wounds disappearing in a wave of dark violet flames. "Much better but still not enough" he noted dryly watching her squirm helplessly in his arms "But the moves and mind of a beast is no match for this Akuma." Before he could deluge her in the Satsui no Hadou an arrow punctured his arm causing him to drop his opponent onto the ground. Tired of lying around like a lump Hawkeye brought all his pain stamina training to bear as he got back up on his feet while Jill recovered from her rattling blow and retreated a safe distance away.
"Even if it is two opponents this Akuma will still crush you" he crowed loudly intensifying the aura around his body "What hopes does a pair hold to withstand the Satsui no Hadou?" "Then you wouldn't mind one more, ugly?" a voice called out. Something red and white slammed into the red head sending him staggering back from the force of the drop kick. Then it happened again, then again in quick succession causing Hawkeye to rub his peepers to make sure he had just seen what he had seen. It wasn't three people attacking at the same time; it was as if reality itself had suddenly gotten stuck in a loop playing the same scene three times. The red and white blur stopped diagonally across from Jill and Hawkeye so that the trio triangulated their opponent. He was about three feet high with a ridiculous red and white get up topped with a Power Ranger style hat. Abusing the attention he was getting to the max, he struck a pose with his tongue hanging out sideways "Henshin a go-go, baby" he drawled in a high tenor. Lightly rubbing his face bruise the red head glared at the new arrival "Be gone child, this Akuma has no time for brats who hit like limp fish." My apologies then karate chump for a hero can never ignore a damsel and dude in distress" the little guy taunted "Prepare to face the dazzling power of Viewtiful Joe!" The little dweeb dashed forward sliding under a punch before spring boarding off the guys arm while sticking out his tongue "Unfortunately you won't be experiencing that power today sweat potato, VFX Slow." Whatever the red midget had done was successful, the mysterious warrior suddenly went from rapid, raging punching machine to a very unhelpful bullet time matrix tai chi practitioner.
"Retreat! Let's go you guys, andale, andale!" he called over to Jill and Hawkeye who shared a confused glance. "What happened" Hawkeye finally piped up sounding irritated "Who the hell are you and what the hell did you do to that guy?" The red guy jumped up and down impatiently "The name's Viewtiful Joe and that was VFX Slow. It doesn't last very long so we need to skedaddle before ginger over there snaps out of it and stomps our asses into paste." The midget began to run away but he quickly noticed the purple clad Avenger wasn't following him. "Are you stupid or something, what part of retreat don't you get" he asked causing Hawkeye to nock an arrow in rebellion. "Listen short stuff, I'm a hero and heroes don't run away from a fight." This remark merely caused Viewtiful Joe to roll his eyes "Dummy, can't you see this guy just ground your balls into a fine powder and made you eat them? You're not gonna stop him in the shape your in." Indeed, both Jill and Hawkeye were struggling to stay upright and several nasty bruises could be seen blossoming all over their bodies. "I ain't no chicken but Captain Blue always said, you can't be a hero if you're already dead. " "Take your fortune cookie crap and feed it to someone who cares" Hawkeye barked back "This little shit's going down one way or another." Drawing his bow back he was prepared to feather the slo-mo bastard with another taser arrow when Jill put a hand on his tensed muscular arm. "Logic dictates that Viewitful Joe is accurate in his assessment of our opponent as well as our current physical conditions" she said monotonously "I also believe that this man, Akuma, will not attempt to hurt bystanders after analyzing the conversations he had with us." "This ain't about conscience Jill" he replied gruffly upset that his arm had slackened just because she was touching him "This is for the sake of my pride as a man." "That is…illogical" she replied, neither her voice nor her face showed any of the confusion she claimed to be experiencing "Feelings have no place in combat."
Hawkeye sighed and yanked his arm from her hand, the hormonal tingling was beginning to recover despite his earlier sexual endeavors and right now he didn't want to be conflicted over the blond. "Just get Beautiful Joel and yourself out of here, I can handle this on my own" he said but before he could make a move Jill saddled up to his and pierced him with her inhuman yellow eyes. "I see, if you will not follow logic then you leave me no choice. Please accept my apologies in advance but it is imperative that you must live." All he could do was blush at the close proximity of their bodies before a rock hard punch to the gut made him see stars. He crumpled over Jill's shoulder and the blonde hoisted him so she carried him fire fighter style before following Viewtiful Joe out of the park. It felt like his stomach was having the most violent seizure ever and Hawkeye unconsciously loosed his bowels from the force of the blow. Thankfully his periphery began to go dark at the edges signaling that he going to fainting any minute here. His last thoughts should have been cursing Jill out for sucker punching him but the only thing he could think of was if she would take responsibility for wiping his ass.
After a short time in the black abyss of sleep Hawkeye awoke to the golden rays of sunset streaming in through his window. His body's next decision was to involuntarily flinch in order to begin getting up out of bed but a sharp pain in his abdomen warned him of such reckless action. Unwilled, the memories of the fight crept back into his head making him feel bitter that he had been spirited away from such an aggravating opponent, not to mention shame at his potty accident. The dull clump of heels on carpeted floors alerted him to Jill's presence in the room. "How are you feeling" she asked bending over him giving his that same great view of her cleavage but this time he was too emotional to really enjoy it. "That was low" he growled turning his head away from her "Didn't anyone every tell you to treat your allies better." "Is that not what I did" she replied "We were clearly outmatched and you were being illogical, survival must come first even if it is unwanted." "Even so" he argued back "How can you trust someone in battle if they try to force onto their partner the battle plan they feel is best." Had he been looking at her he would have noticed a faint trail of brown muddy up Jill's usually poisonous yellow eyes. "A real partner would have understood the big picture as well as the feelings of their ally" she pointed out, something hot and unstable suddenly injecting itself into her voice "How can anyone trust you when all you think about is something as ephemeral as manly pride?"
Surprised by the sudden surge of emotion in her voice Hawkeye turned to face her only to see the same emotionless face and yellow eyes. "W-well that is to say…" he struggled to find some kind of rebuttal but all he could get out was "I don't need your help." "Sheesh, you two sound like an old married couple" a familiar voice commented causing Hawkeye to jerk up out of bed despite the pain screaming through his muscles. At the end of his bed was the same little snot who had broken up the fight earlier sans his costume. Instead he wore white shorts with a blue tee shirt that had the acronym HMT on it. Currently the guy was munching nonchalantly through a sandwich with such big bites that crumbs were getting all over the floor. "Why the hell are you in my house" Hawkeye asked "The blond chick invited me over, apparently you have some spare room and I'd like to camp out here for a bit." He turned to Jill wincing as he snapped towards her at the waist setting off a fresh riot of pain "Why the hell did you let him in my house" he asked her enraged at her sense of entitlement to his living quarters. "As we ran away from that overpowering opponent we began to dialogue and several interesting factors emerged" Jill explained evenly "Viewtiful Joe is without a domicile so in both our interests I offered him to stay here in order to converse more"
Hawkeye looked confused at the spew of technical language so Joe piped up "We got talking on our way back here and apparently some pretty crazy shit's happened to the both of us, Brown Pants." Snarling at the midget Hawkeye asked "What sort of crazy shit?" Joe waved at Jill "Don't you worry, I got this" and proceeded to hope up onto Hawkeye's bed. "See it goes down like this, a few days ago me and my girlfriend Silvia were dealing with some trouble in Movieland. During a routine fight with some mooks I, er, accidentally used VFX Replay at the wrong time and took a dinosaur's rocket launcher to the face about three times. I go unconscious and next thing I know I'm in the sewers of this city thinking I landed in another movie clip, Attack of the Seven Foot Babes or something XXX like that. Well after a few days and no Silvia or an exit popping up anywhere I get to thinking, what if this ain't Movieland after all?" Hawkeye struggled to process all of this "So what you're bullshitting me is…?" "It ain't bullshit Stink Boxers, I think I got rocketed into another world via an explosion to the noggin" the midget snarked "Since I ain't in heaven this must be a different world."
"An where the hell did you get the idea your from another world" Hawkeye asked dryly causing Joe to fix him with a pointed look. "Don't you ever watch movies, moron? There's always some kind of plot where the dashing hero gets tossed into another world. Obviously I'm in the middle of one of those arcs and that's why I'm crashing here. It's the least you can do since I saved your ass from the purple bastard." "The hell you are, tiny" the larger hero scoffed crossing his arms "Get the hell out before I punt you out. And for the record you did not save my life, you interfered with my fight." "Like hell you're in any position to be punting anything, Stink Pickle" Joe shot back flicking Hawkeye's foot with his finger causing the Avenger to flinch. Before the bellyaching could continue anymore Jill raised a hand "Perhaps it would be best of Joe and I if we were to seek lodging elsewhere? I do not wish to impose myself upon your kindness." Something inside Hawkeye panicked "No, no, no you're fine, I don't mind if you room with me it's just that-" "Alright sweet" Joe said pumping a fist "I claim the couch." "Wait I didn't mean-" the poor hero started realizing the fact that his dick making decisions was once again proving to be a pain in the ass.
Jill's gloved hand fell onto his bare shoulder "You have our thanks for you kind hospitality Hawkeye. We shall make sure to repay your kindness." Under the sheets Hawkeye could feel his insatiable manhood perk up at all the forms Jill could repay him with. "Awesome, it's all coed" Joe yelled jumping up and down on the couch "So Tall, Dark, and Blonde, want to bunk with me tonight?" Hawkeye's mouth fell open 'That little shit, He's barely squeaked under the door and already he's coming onto to Jill.' The perversity of the statement flew right over Jill's head "I will be sleeping in the bathtub" she stated simply causing Joe to cock his head. "Why the hell are you staying there" he asked "It's cold and hard, you'll get bed bruises." "There is nowhere else to sleep; this apartment lacks a conjoining guest bedroom." Both men immediately jumped forward to fulfill their gentlemanly duty but Hawkeye's closer proximity meant he managed to body check Joe out of the way entirely. "Don't worry Jill" he said through gnashed teeth, standing up so suddenly made his wounds submerge him into a whole new world of pain "You can take my bed, I'll sleep in the tub."
She looked at him flatly "That is unwise; between the two of us you are the one who sustained heavier physical damage. Sleeping on such an unforgiving surface will merely slow the healing process down by an abysmal 60%." He placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her his friendliest grin "These silly little bruises? They're nothing to me, as a gentleman I insist you take the bed." When she opened her mouth to protest he cut her off "As my guest it would be hella rude not to offer you the bed, you did say that partners understand each other's feelings and junk, right?"Jill hesitated for a bit before nodding "Very well, if you insist" she said uncertainly causing a tide of pride to well up in Hawkeye's chest. "Since there is some time left I will head to a nearby pharmacy" she said heading for the door "I will return with some heavy duty pain killer, no doubt you will need them tomorrow morning." Her sentence was directed at his wounds but Hawkeye couldn't help but imagine a steamy bed event that might condone the use of heavy painkillers. The minute she was out the door Joe rounded on him and fixed him with a knowing grin "You gotta it bad bro." "What the hell are you talking about you little shit" Hawkeye asked, sitting back down on the bad to relieve the pain buzzing in his body. "It's not really all that difficult to tell that you like her" the midget replied gesturing to Hawkeye's waist. While he was out the pair must have stripped him down thanks to the involuntary soiling he was forced to endure, the only thing he was wearing was a thin pair of boxers that couldn't hide the erection he had unconsciously started.
Whipping both hands in front of his throbbing manhood he looked at the door considerably panicked "She didn't see right?" "No worries bro it only started once she mentioned those pain killers" Joe assured him waving his hands dismissively "Though, if you're not going to be able to control whenever you whip it out there then I suggest you either tell her or invest in the Fort Knox of chastity belts." Glowering at the pint sized superhero Hawkeye growled "What do you want, you sneaky little shit?"Joe faked being hurt at the hero's insinuation "Here I thought heroes were supposed to be gracious in defeat. I don't want anything…yet." Joe shot him a huge grin "I'll just see where this leads and let this little favor, so to say, stay in storage for a bit. After all how embarrassing would it be if Jill's mega handsome roommate told her the stinky one got all hot under the waist band whenever she so much as breathed." "You piece of shit, if you so much as begin to tell her-" "Ah, ah, ah, ah" Joe warned him wagging a finger "That's no way to talk to your cool roommate." Fuming at the barbs Hawkeye jumped up yelling as the pain slammed down his body and marched into the bathroom.
He slammed the door shut and slid into the tub getting used to his new bed, behind the door Joe continued to needle him on. "Go ahead and get comfy, bro" he chirped happily "I'll just leave this really scratchy blanket and thin pillow by the door so you can sleep in peace. By the way I'm going to raid the fridge, I know that's alright with you, bro." For several minutes all Hawkeye could do was lay there in the tub, his bulky form squished in there, and rage silently. Today had been one for the record books, the shittiest day in world history. As he continued to stew his roommates went about their business, Jill returned from the pharmacy dropping the painkiller into the bathroom while she and Joe had a small dinner which Hawkeye politely passed on, partly because he was in so much pain he couldn't get up an partly because he knew he would kill that three foot squirt the moment he laid eyes on him. Night fell, his roommates retired to their beds leaving Hawkeye awake in the bathroom. His initial fury had finally worn off giving way into bitter dregs which he directed at Joe, Jill, and mainly himself for being such a pansy ass. He should at least see if the blond was interested in him but her manner and the sudden claim that she had a partner, who might or might not be her lover, scared him away.
Still, try as he might the bowman could not release the pent up lust he had for her, he was tired of hand jobs he did himself. Even if he didn't know a lick about her despite the fact she was cold and fantastic with a gun Hawkeye still wanted to pursue a relationship with her. It was a feeling he didn't experience much, as evidenced by the long gaps he had between steady girlfriends, but Hawkeye couldn't relegate the beauty to a date and dump fantasy. Unconsciously he began to stroke his dick which perked up at the sudden attention sending a much needed wave of endorphins to tempt him further. Splaying both legs out of the tub he opened the small gap in the middle of his boxer letting his manhood out into the humid night air. As he began to play with himself his left arm brushed up against his head as he attempted to bunker down into a more comfortable position. He realized that his mask was still on which sent a jolt of relief into his heart, he was happy they hadn't decided to remove his mask when they cleaned him up. With his identity still a secret to his roommates he got back to the task at hand as his formerly flaccid penis began to firm up under his delicate administrations.
Before he could get too big the door to the bathroom slammed open and something short dashed to the toilet. "What the hell were in those jello shots I had for dinner" Joe asked aloud to no one as a mighty stream could be heard sloshing its way into the toilet bowl. "What the hell" Hawkeye roared covering his erection as best he could with his hands "I'm trying to get some sleep in here!" "This is the bathroom dingus" Joe shouted back as he continued to relieve himself "Where the hell else was I supposed to go?" Hawkeye could only groan in response before settling back into the toilet which tweaked his back painfully. The dark, grim, reality that the next week or so was going to be fraught with annoying midgets, foxy ladies and the fact that he wouldn't be able to masturbate without either of the two knowing almost broke the proud hero.