10

Time seemed to crawl and then it suddenly sped up, making both men feel slightly off kilter as the doctor informed them that the baby was now safe to deliver.

"Any time in the womb from now on is brilliant but if there is any sign of distress or a dip in heart rate we can take little HQ and be confident of survival" he said calmly "Thirty weeks is not optimal, I would like to see if we can stretch to 40, or as close to that as we can but from this point on your child will have a great fighting chance out here in the real world."

"But we will try our damnedest to let him cook longer" Ianto said, his hands wringing and Jack felt the urge to reach out and enclose them with his own but knew Ianto would pull away so he settled for reaching out and gently patting his knee.

"We will do all we can too" he said softly, "Rhiannon might not be here in body, maybe she is in spirit? Maybe if we encourage her, tell her we are rooting for her and have faith in her she will hang on, things will be OK."

Jack had expected the leg to move away but Ianto turned with overflowing eyes, blinking as the first tears rolled, "Do you think? Do you think she can hear me? Wherever she is now?"

"Oh Ianto" Jack sighed, rubbing the knee gently, "Sweetheart, she is right here with us. I believe that. No mother would leave if she had a choice, not her baby. No. Rhiannon is here screaming at us to do better, be better and save her son. I know she is."

A weak watery smile was accompanied by a soft hand covering his, a gentle squeeze and then Ianto straightened as he took a deep breath, shaking himself back to calm and Jack saw the moment to remove his hand and give Ianto back his calm.

It was such a small step.

It felt triumphant.

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"I don't' know what I feel anymore" Jack sighed, the beer tasting flat.

"Well, categorise it" Bunny encouraged, "What do you know. What is set in stone for the Great Captain Harkness!"

"Stop it" he snorted, "I should never have told you."

"Oh come on, I think it's sweet" she giggled, "I thought Bunny Rabbid was a great name. Your Mama named you Captain Jack. Like, does she have a drinking problem?"

The table erupted as Jack acted insulted, but eventually breaking into laughter as well a balm as he felt himself grow light again, the fears lifting. Bunny was right. Prioritise.

"I am angry." He finally said and the table fell silent.

"With whom?"

"Gray. He killed them. He did this. I am so angry I want to pummel him like when we were kids. I am angry that I can't fix it. Angry that Ianto is so alone, scared and so bloody sad. My mother?" Jack snorted, "I don't even want to think of her, my thoughts going so dark. That's it. I'm pissed!"

"Grief" Imelda said softly, "We all react differently."

"Yes, anger is part of the cycle" Ivy agreed, her long tresses waving as she nodded, "You will get over it love. Don't cling too tightly, anger is part of grieving. It's natural. There is nothing wrong with you for wanting to rail at someone. God, you lost your brother. The only member of your family you even liked, including yourself."

Jack snorted, nodding as he shrugged and agreed with that.

"Anger is like cancer" Bunny said softly, the table falling quiet, "It eats away at your soul. Don't blame him Jack. Not forever. Remember that you loved him, you were brothers and for some time you had one another. A sibling is a hard thing to lose."

Jack accepted her hug, the velvet gown warm against his cheek as he rested his face against her chest.

What would he do without these ladies?

Who did Ianto have?

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"So?" Charlie demanded as he sipped the coffee and waited for his taxi, their night together coming to an end as Ianto slopped about in PJs glaring at him in the darkened flat, "You going to talk to him?"

"I would rather not" Ianto sighed, sitting and picking up his own mug, how do I broach the subject? I don't even know how to do it. Change of subject please. Quinn. I am not the parent, I would have to adopt Quinnie when he is born and then get a passport. What if the family fights me? Gods, I wish I could have taken her home to deliver on Welsh soil. The baby has to come first and the doctor was clear that travel could be dangerous. Gods."

"Anyway" Meryl said as she looked out the window and saw the taxi lights approaching, "He promised he would stand by you didn't he?"

"Yes but don't they all" Ianto said morosely, his hand going to his shoulder where he rubbed absently at his scaring.

Ianto wondered if love was real at all.