Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach
A/N: Kind of a mother's day special, that's what inspired this piece anyway. Enjoy!
"Shinji?" Worried eyes sought out mine. "Shinji, promise me that you won't leave." I stared up at the woman desperately clutching at me.
"Mummy, what's wrong?" My mother shook me slightly, out of anguish.
"Nothing's wrong – Shinji, just promise me."
"Okay, Mummy." She breathed a sigh of relief, releasing her clawed grip on me.
"Thank goodness... thank goodness..."
"Mummy, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, dear. I'm just going to have to go out for a bit. Okay?"
"Mmm." She smiled down at me; a tired, despairing smile, but a smile all the same. She pulled out a handkerchief from inside her sleeve – a magic trick that entranced me every time – and began to rub distractedly at some patch of dirt on my cheek. The handkerchief vanished; my mother straightened and gave me a final grin before turning and leaving the small alleyway we were hiding out in.
"I'll see you soon, Shinji. I promise."
"Mmm." I replied again, preoccupied with a sparkly pebble on the ground.
I don't know how long I waited. Minutes melted into hours, into nights, into days. I heard yells and the spitting of gunfire as I trembled in my hideout between two metal bin canisters. Cowering, I fulfilled my promise to my mother. Cowering, I didn't search for her, or her corpse. Cowering, I did nothing when I was discovered and a gun pointed at my head. The bullet passed through my skull and I was sent to Soul Society, cowering all the way.
I sat in the doorway of a shop in the sixty-eighth district of North Rukongai. I didn't play with any of the other children; I was too 'gloomy' for them. It didn't bother me; I didn't want to hang around them anyway. It didn't feel right to enjoy myself, not with the stifling heaviness in my heart. I only really had one coherent thought, or maybe it was a feeling, that grew every day.
I want to get stronger.