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Chapter Ten

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Home thoughts from abroad

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Alex felt like she had a welcoming committee. People trailing to her bed to gaze down at her. First Molly, then Evan, followed by Pete and Judy. Alex only really wanted to see Molly. Molly was the only one who didn't put on the compulsory 'you're going to be fine' face.

She was shocked to find that all the pain she was experiencing was coming from one disc in her vertebrae, a disc that had shifted and been damaged in the fall and was now dangerously close to the next disc. She needed arthroplasty, Paul Black had explained somewhat vaguely, a replacement disc. The pain in the real world made her realise that the pain she had thought she was experiencing in the 1973 world wasn't actually pain at all, just an irritating twinge.

'It's a big operation isn't ?' Molly said worriedly.

'Quite big' Alex replied, stroking her daughter's hair. 'But it has to be done.'

'I don't want you to have it.' Molly whispered, 'I'm scared.'

'If I don't have it I'll probably have to get about in a wheelchair' Alex explained, 'I promise things will be fine, people have operations all the time.'

'I don't want to live with Dad and her anymore.' Molly said into Alex's chest. 'Can't I stay with Evan until you're ready to come home?'

'We'll see' promised Alex, as the door opened and Pete and Judy entered the room.

'Be careful Molly' Judy said, seeing Molly sprawled across her mother, 'Your mum's a bit fragile.'

'It's 's not hurting me in the slightest.' Alex told her, feeling her hackles rising at the pity in Judy's eyes.

'Well if you're sure.' Judy replied, 'Look Molly, I've brought us lunch, I found these macrobiotic pots in a little health food shop in Salford, who'd have thought it?'

'I've already had a cheese and bacon panini from the cafe.' Molly said, 'Evan bought it.'

Alex saw the horror flash across Judy's face, intercut with a sudden vision of Gene demolishing a bacon sandwich, she felt a pang she really didn't expect to feel, a sense of loss. She would never see Gene Hunt again, never have to do battle with her hormones and her uncontrollable urges. Gene was like the unfinished slice of cheesecake in the fridge in the middle of the night, slightly crusty around the edges, highly loaded with all the wrong sort of things, and yet irresistible and lip-smackingly delicious. She looked up and caught Judy's eye, there was the pity again. Alex smiled, suddenly feeling superior and not really knowing why, as she thought about it she she remembered Pete's lovemaking, which at best could be described as enthusiastic, but lacking in technique. Poor Judy, she thought, knowing she had experienced something so much better with a man who was far far away in the past; she returned the pitying look and Judy caught it and seemed confused.

'I'm sure your mum's not keen on you eating junk anymore than we are.' she said to Molly.

'Oh I don't know' Alex chirped, 'Sometimes it's just what you need at the time. Eh Molly?'

Molly nodded and lifted her head, smiling at her mum. 'I had a double chocolate muffin too.'

Judy looked even more horrified.

Alex was just beginning to feel so claustrophobic and overcrowded that she thought she may very well scream, when Kylie appeared and ushered everyone out.

'It's all too much isn't it?' she said to Alex.

'Yes, I don't know how much more sympathy I can take.' Alex replied.

'Try and get a bit of sleep.' Kylie suggested, 'Mr Black should be along to see you later.'

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Sam was pacing his bedsit. What the hell was he going to tell Gene? How was he going to tell him? He knew Alex had gone back to the future, and in some ways he was happy for her, but he was also inexplicably annoyed that she had gone before he'd had time to confide in her. She'd left him to sort the whole awful mess out on his own, and he hadn't a clue how to do it.

'I needed to talk to you Alex' he groaned, 'there's stuff about Gene. Stuff he either doesn't know or is doing a damn fine job of covering up. I needed to tell you and now it's too late.'

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Alex, floating on a cocktail of drugs to make her comfortable, dreamed of Sam in his bedsit.

'I needed to talk to you Alex.' he muttered.

'Well talk then' Alex replied, 'Was it about the bet?'

Sam didn't appear to hear her and she floated off to another part of the dream where Evan was overloading Molly with Big Macs and doughnuts and Judy was standing by with a vat of cous cous.

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'What do you mean gone?' Gene's voice was dangerously low.

Sam made sure he wasn't too near the filing cabinet, 'Dunno, but she's gone. I don't think she'll be coming back.'

Gene pouted slightly before shrugging, 'Oh well, just proves my point about women.' he sniffed, 'they don't have any staying power.'

'Unlike you.' Sam said sarcastically.

'Yes, unlike me' Gene replied, 'I'll be here 'til hell freezes over.' he grabbed a bottle of scotch and poured a large measure into a tumbler. He took a gulp and stared at Sam, 'Off you trot then, go and get on with nailing Morgan. Finish collating the evidence. What?'

Sam hesitated, 'I thought you'd be at least a little bit concerned about her.'

'She came, she saw, she didn't like, she buggered off.' Gene said, 'So everyone's happy. Oh fuck, spoke too soon.'

Sam turned and saw Litton approaching wearing the jubilant expression of a child on Christmas morning.

'Oh dear, Genie boy' Litton bubbled joyously, 'There's rumours circulating about you and a certain DS. She must be either pretty desperate or a chubby lover.'

'Well you know how these things get exaggerated,' Gene remained cool, 'you only have to smile at a woman in this place...'

'I have it on good authority that it was a bit more than that,' Litton sniggered, scanning the incident room, 'don't see the lady in question- where is she- recovering somewhere quiet and dark?'

'If you say so.' Gene said, sounding bored, 'Nothing to see, nothing to tell, Derek, so you can crawl back under your rock.'

'It's always going to be the way with you, Gene,' Litton said happily, "once is always enough for them before they take to hills never to be seen again. Like that bird at that conference in Hartlepool.'

'Hartlepool?' Sam raised his eyebrows.

'Don't ask.' Gene said.

'Least said, soonest mended.' smirked Litton, turning on his stacked heel.

Gene watched him go, 'Blabbermouth' he said to Sam.

'It didn't come from me.' Sam protested.

Gene stood up, 'I'll be in the Arms, when you've finished your report let me know.'

As he walked to the pub he let his mask slip slightly and he felt weary and sad- and lonely. There was always lonely. Alex Drake wasn't the woman for him anyway, so why was he feeling so wretched about it? He wondered where she was. There was no point in looking for her. Some people just didn't want to be found.

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'I don't suppose you expected to make it back.' Paul Black said to Alex.

She was flabbergasted by his words,' You were there! In 1973- the same you.'

He nodded and grinned boyishly, 'Just call me Dr Who- it's a pity I don't look like David Tennant though.'

'But how can you be there and here?' Alex asked. "And how can you be a doctor and a copper?'

'I'm lots of things.' Black said, 'And at the moment I'm your guardian angel.' he sat on her bed, 'I'm going to ask you a very strange question now. I don't want you to reply straight away. Which world is your favourite? If you had the opportunity to live in either which would you choose? All things considered?'

Alex opened her mouth but he held up a finger, ' Don't answer now, think it through. I'll be back later. I have things to tell you but it depends on your answer.' he stood up, 'Think very carefully Alex.'

Alex stared at the ceiling after he'd gone. She didn't really have a lot of options due to being flat on her back, the ceiling was more or less it unless she wanted chronic neck ache. It was such a ridiculous question, she thought to herself. Of course this world was the one she wanted to live in, who in their right mind would want to live in 1973? She shook her head and rolled her eyes even though there was no-one there to see her do it. She grabbed at the sock monster Molly had made her and sniffed it. It smelled of Molly, some cherry scented little girls fragrance, in Molly's world everything had to smell of cherries or strawberries or some other sweet concoction. Alex smiled and waggled the sock monster above her head.

'So Chris, how are you today?' she giggled.

'I'm fine Ma'am- I mean er Miss Drake, er Mrs Drake- Alex' she replied in a voice mimicking Chris's.

She felt yet another pang. there was no doubt about it. She missed them. Sam and Chris and Annie and Phyllis, even Ray, who she realised had been set up, and him- Gene. She missed him too. She couldn't seem to forget the feel of his bare skin on hers; the freedom she had felt as they had made love, his actions speaking in a completely different language to his sparse words. She couldn't believe it had all really been for a bet, he had been so...attentive, considerate, loving. He had been everything she had wanted and looked for in the twenty-first century, no man before had ever even come close.

'If I could bring you here and straighten you out.' she sighed to herself, before wondering if she'd even want to straighten him out, would she actually want to change him? If she did wouldn't that mean he was no longer the man she'd fallen for?

She frowned as she caught herself thinking she had fallen for Gene, that wasn't right was it- he was the wrongest man in the universe. Also, she couldn't believe that Black was actually suggesting she followed Sam and ended her own life to go back to 1973? Surely he realised that she could never do that, she had Molly to consider.

Evan appeared late that afternoon. Alex saw the pity in his eyes too.

'Oh for Heaven's Sake!' she said irritably, 'Why does everyone keep looking at me like that?'

'Like what?' Evan asked gently.

'Like you are.' Alex said.

Evan couldn't quite meet her eye, 'Well they're sorry that you're incapacitated I suppose.' he said shiftily.

'Is there more to it?' Alex asked, 'I get the feeling there's something I'm not being told.'

'That's between you and your consultant.' Evan said, 'I'm sure he'll go through everything with you.'

'Evan!' Alex peered at him.

'It's honestly not up to me to say anything.' Evan was making a dreadful job of hiding something. 'Please don't ask me Black will explain everything to you before your , I brought you some organic apple juice.'

'I could do with something stronger- much stronger.' Alex muttered.

'So could I' Evan admitted, 'But apple juice is all we've got.'

By the time Paul Black made an appearance Alex was seething and wishing she could stand up and face him. It was hard to appear menacing when you were flat on your back.

'What are you keeping from me?' she asked.

'I was going to speak to you about that.' Paul said, 'Look at that.' he was gazing out of the window, a tatty gull was flying past, its breast made golden by the rays of the setting sun bouncing off the grubby white feathers.

'For God's Sake! What are you not telling me?' Alex said, her voice rising.

Paul turned to her and looked her in the eye, 'It's not just the disc Alex- you have multiple injuries, your spinal cord is damaged, one of your legs is smashed up...' he exhaled and scratched his head, 'the arthroplasty would be problematic enough without the added complications of your spinal cord, I have absolutely no guarantee that even if the operations were as successful as they could possibly be that you'd be able to walk again.'

Alex stared at the ceiling and tried to stop the tears pooling in her eyes and blurring her vision, 'You're a liar.' she said, 'Why are you telling me this now? What are you doing? Painting a worst case scenario so I'll beg to go back to 1973? Because you must know I'd never leave my daughter'

'Not exactly no.' Paul sat on the edge of her bed again. 'I'm only offering this because you've been there. Your 2006 body is in a very bad way. The pain management is shielding you from the full effects of the devastation. If you allow me to put you into a coma while I work on repairing you as best I can, you could spend your time in 1973 where you would be as able-bodied as you were before. You liked it there didn't you?'

'It was- different' Alex admitted.

'And Gene- you liked him didn't you- felt some kind of affinity with him?' Paul asked.

'I wouldn't say 'liked' exactly.' Alex replied, stamping all over the flutter in her stomach that had materialised when Gene's name was mentioned. 'He was a fascinating example of prehistoric man.'

'If I told you he was in big trouble -heading for disaster- would you want to help him?' Paul asked.

'What sort of trouble?' Alex asked.

'Someone's out to get him.' Paul said, 'To expose him. Obviously you would be fully briefed before you went back. Your friend Tyler knows a little of what's going on but not the whole of it. Gene Hunt needs saving Alex, he really does.'

'You think I'm the woman to do it?' Alex raised an eyebrow, 'Gene and I didn't exactly part on the best of terms. He was involved in a bet regarding er...me, and I socked him in the jaw.'

'Sounds like you are just the woman to do it as you call it.' smiled Black, 'I happen to know that you can be tactful and use the softly softy approach when you need to. I'm sure you can soon get back on friendly terms with your DCI.'

Alex and Paul spent another half an hour or so going through all the ifs, buts and ands. He told her about Gene and his place in that version of 1973 which was in fact a type of way station; how he was a young copper killed in the line of duty who helped other coppers in need to pass through. Alex tried hard to hold on to it but she felt all her anger towards Gene evaporate, she felt heartbroken for him, she also wanted to see him badly.

'So are we going to do this?' he asked eventually.

Alex nodded nervously, 'There is a chance I won't come back isn't there?'

'You will always be able to come back.' Black promised, 'Even if you end up like me.'

'What are you?' Alex asked.

He shrugged, 'A glorified assistant. I assist people between worlds. If you need me in that world you can contact me but only if it's absolutely necessary. Understand?'

'I suppose I've just got to trust you.' Alex said, ' The thought of laying here for weeks between operations with my assorted family members gazing down on me with pity is unbearable.'

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The following day Molly, Pete, Judy and Evan all visited Alex before she was put back into a coma. Molly was tearful and clingy, and an argument almost broke out when Alex asked Pete if Molly could stay with Evan for a while. Pete wasn't happy but eventually agreed.

Alex thought that Judy looked a little relieved.

When they had gone Paul Black reappeared, 'Any questions?'

'How much time will have elapsed since I disappeared?' Alex asked.

'A day or so.' Paul said.

'So I can walk back in and just pretend I've cooled off.' Alex said, 'They'll hardly have had time to miss me.'

'Nervous?' asked Paul.

'As DCI Hunt would so eloquently put it, 'shitting myself'' Alex smiled bravely.

'You promise you'll be gentle with him?' Paul asked.

'As gentle as I possibly can be.' Alex replied, 'I have to be a little tetchy with him or he'd smell a rat immediately.'

Paul began to adjust her drip fed meds.

'Hang on!' Alex said, 'What if the coma's not deep enough to send me back?'

'It will be.' Paul assured her, 'And I'll know if you're there won't I?'

'Sorry, I forgot.' Alex whispered, 'Ok, I'm ready.'

He touched her wrist, 'I'll do my level best for you while you're gone.'

'Thanks.' Alex slurred as the world dimmed.

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She woke in her bed in her flat in 1973. She opened her eyes as she heard the sound of running water. Oh god it was deja vu, time had gone back on itself, she'd arrived back on the night she'd spent with Gene. Then she realised that of course it hadn't. It was morning, early morning by the quality of light. The water stopped and she heard the bathroom door open. Her eyes widened, who the hell had been sleeping in her bed?

'What the bloody hell...?' Gene loomed over her, 'When did you creep in Bollykeks?'

'It's my bed.' she said indignantly. 'You're squatting.'

'Tyler said you'd gone after all that bullshit the other day.' Gene smiled, he really did seem happy to see her. 'I most certainly am not squatting. Gene Hunt does not squat. I availed myself of an empty property- the rent was paid, I thought it would be a waste.'

'My clothes are still in the wardrobe. Why would I be gone?' Alex retorted, 'I just needed some time away from you and your scheming, plotting and betting- and squatting.' she got out of bed before checking her night attire and found she was dressed in a translucent nightie.

Gene nodded appreciatively, 'Very nice.'

'Piss off.' she zoomed across the room.

'No chance of any breakfast?' he called as she filled the kettle.

'Absolutely none.' she replied.

'See you at the station then' he said, 'You may have been out all night doing god knows what but that's no excuse. Don't be late.'

She looked out of the window and watched him striding in the direction of the station. She smiled sadly, there was nothing she would have enjoyed more than dragging him back into bed, but she had to make a show of being cross with him. She wondered how long she'd be able to keep it up.

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A/N- I did a little research about induced comas and they are used for spinal injuries apparently, but I'm not sure if the patient would be actually put into a coma having woken up from a previous coma, poetic licence again I'm afraid, in the interests of keeping Gene and Alex together.

With the chapter title I was thinking of the song not the poem- it's a lovely song by Clifford T Ward and worth a listen if anyone hasn't heard it before + it was released in 1973 xxx