WARNING – I would give this chapter an R rating, not meant for kids in one part.
After the first day of his punishment duty having worked all day, and then all night, Starbuck had meant to swing by the council chambers to at least say hi to the kids and to check on Rene, but he'd been so tired he nearly fell asleep in his viper and just barely dragged himself to the bunk reserved for him in Blue Squadron. The next day he made it by the council chambers to find he was late and Rene had already headed off for an early shuttle run.
The third day, he'd caught her as she was coming out of their quarters, the kids in her arms. He'd loved that Kiff nearly launched himself at him, talking up a storm. Kalea reached for him calling "Stah" not able to manage the whole name. Rene once again was headed off to a duty and he got a stolen kiss and that was all. He made a point of waking earlier so he might swing by the chambers before having to head off to the engine room. He caught Jake, Rene, Nik and Dara all in civilian clothes heading out for the evening.
He'd asked where they were going, just out of curiosity, but the guilty looks on their faces turned a simple question into an interrogation. When they finally revealed they were headed off to some unauthorized club on one of the random civilian ships, Starbuck couldn't help but to voice his concern. None of them had been out in the fleet yet, other than to the Rising Star, did they even know what they were getting into? Rene had to pull him aside, remind him she was not a kid.
"Three yahrens on the streets of Caprica, remember? Three yahrens in Dante's fleet, remember? I'm the one who took down Dante, remember? I can take care of myself." He winced at that. It was the first time she had mentioned the incident since they had returned from Dilmun. It left him even more worried why she felt the need to use that as her argument.
"But I won't be there and anything could happen. It's unauthorized, and you're not going in uniform. People could take advantage of you and your friends. I mean look what happened on the Rising Star and there are lots of Warriors there and…"
"Starbuck," she had reached up to stroke his cheek, gave him a soft kiss. "You worry too much, you know that? It will be fine. I'm in the Colonial Fleet, what could happen?"
He would have liked to say more, but they were going to miss their shuttle so he ended up walking them to the hangar bay, watching them board before he headed off to the engine room. The green eyed monster had screamed in his ear louder than the engines of the Galactica. He checked the chambers before he went out on patrol to see if they had made it back, but they were still out despite it being past curfew. His worry was worse once he was alone in his viper. Starbuck had been out of the chambers just a few cycles and she was already back with Jake. He tried to talk himself down from that ledge, but it nagged at him the whole patrol. Once he landed he swung by the Council Chambers hoping to see if she'd made it back, but Rene had already gone off to classes. His bunk in the barracks was cold and hard.
The next cycle, he was beat as he was finding it hard to sleep back in the billet, and he had been cutting short his centaurs sleeping to catch up with Rene. And if he wanted to admit it to himself, he was bit put out they went out and about the fleet without him. So once off duty, he just trudged off to his bunk, took a sleep aid and crashed hard.
When he awoke later that afternoon from restless dreams, he found a datapad tucked into his book. On it, a message from Rene that read, "The Commander told me I was supposed to leave you alone for these two sectons, but I can't do it. Find me in the Celestial Dome at 1900. Jonas will cover for you for ten centons."
"That wily snake," Starbuck muttered. He wasn't sure if Adama was trying to sabotage his relationship with Rene or get it going. She was rebellious enough that reverse psychology just might work.
Jonas found him right at 1900, and Starbuck dashed for the dome. Rene was there waiting with open arms. She pulled him up the ladder, kissing him before he could even get the ear protection off. She was frantically pulling at his coveralls and trying to get them off when Starbuck uttered, "Whoa slow down there. We need to talk."
"Starbuck, we don't have time for talk. We have ten centons. It's going to take two centons to get you out of all this, and two to get you back in, that leaves us six centons, and thankfully for me, you usually take longer than that to frack, so let's not waste time!"
"Don't call it that," Starbuck scolded, but still trying to help her get the gear off him.
"We don't have time for pretty words. I miss you."
"I miss you too," he stopped struggling with the heavy steel toed boots and kissed her earnestly. But then he pulled away. The commander had been right, the days apart had left him with a lot of time to think about the two of them. "You know if we were sealed, I could still stay in the quarters even on report."
"Good, great, are you going to help here? Time is wasting and I can't go without you." It was the twitch in her hand as it slipped on a fastening of his that gave her away. He brought his hand under her chin, lifted her head up so he could see her eyes. They were blood shot and glassy, her pupils wide with just a rim of blue.
"You haven't been sleeping, have you? How many stims are you taking?"
"Not many, it's okay. Trainings have been a killer, astrophysics and more math than I like to think about. I'll sleep better after this."
"Dammit, Rene, you promised. You can't take those. It will hurt the baby. Where did you even get them?"
"Ahh, there's those sweet nothings I love so much," she tried to tease.
"Rene, we need to talk."
"We can either talk or frack, but we don't have time for both. Pick which one I want to do, Bucko?" She began trying to pull the coveralls down Starbuck's body, while reaching to pull his tunic over his head with the other. He reached to stay her hands.
"Rene, do you even want to seal with me?"
"What? I already answered that question. I'm here aren't I, begging you to get all those clothes off. Come on, we don't have time for this, we have maybe…"
The hatch to the chamber opened and Jonas poked his head up, bellowing, "They're looking for you, Starbuck. Times up. Sorry, Rene."
She groaned loudly before pulling him to her and kissing him deeply, but his heart wasn't into it. She hadn't answered his question. As usual, she had just given it a fly by and then zoomed off. "I miss you," she said searching his eyes. "You okay?"
"Just tired," he said trying to brush off his bruised feelings. "We'll talk later, when I'm off report. Guess I'll see you then." He trudged off, his safety boots feeling heavier than before.
The engine room detail that day was awful, smelly and smoky and he had no time to turbo before reporting for his picket patrol, so his viper reeked of the engine room. The patrol took a little longer, some strange communications that turned out to be their own signals bouncing off a highly reflective moon nearby. It was all he could do to climb down from the cockpit on his own. He didn't bother with swinging by the council chambers as by his chrono, no one would be there. He flopped down into his bunk and was about to pass out, but even he couldn't stand the smell of himself. He turboed, and crashed hard in his bunk.
All too soon his chrono was chiming, and he felt like he hadn't slept at all. He was not looking forward to another day of drudgery. The punishment was working. He was wearing down and his relationship was done. He turboed, even though he knew it wouldn't matter, in a few centons he'd be reeking of tylium and grease. When he opened his locker, he found on top of a clean uniform a hand written note. Paper was a rare commodity in the fleet. Most people reserved it for invitations or mementos of some kind, paying high prices for high end paper. This note was smooth in his hand, original paper, not recycled. He opened it to find it handwritten as well, not printed up at a comm station. The writing was elaborate with hearts and flowers and other little doodles. It read, "I didn't answer you because I wanted you to have something you can put in your pocket so that every time you wonder, you will know. Yes, I want to seal with you. You don't have to ask ever again, but you can if you want. The answer will always be yes. Rene."
He suddenly felt awake and alive. He had maybe five centons before he had to report. He didn't bother putting on his boots, grabbing them and running out the door hoping to catch Rene. She was in the council chambers taking her turn at making the meal for dinner. He surprised her as he scooped her up in his arms swinging her around and kissing her before putting her back down on her feet.
"What has you so happy, flyboy?" she teased him.
"The punishment is half over. Then you can dissolve your sealing with Jake and we can get sealed."
"What?" She took a step back from him.
"We can get sealed?" The look on her face was bordering on anger, and he was totally confused. His good mood was sinking fast. "The note is not from you?"
"Oh it's from me. That first part, what did you say?"
"Oh, well, you need to dissolve your sealing with Jake before we can…" The anger in her eyes sparked. "I mean, you have to do that before we get sealed. I know you guys didn't ask to have it confirmed, but you still should probably unseal." Starbuck's voice got quieter as he said, "You know, so it's legal."
"Who told you I was sealed to Jake?" her eyes narrowed, and the spark of anger was now a laser aiming for a target.
"It's in your records. Jake gave your medical records to the Life Center after you were shot by Dante. That's why they told him about the baby and..."
"What?! That is in my records? What the frack! You are not supposed to know that and…JAKE! Where is that fracking snitrad of a slimy sewer rat. I swear to the lords I am going to kill him!"
Rene bolted from the food prep area just as Starbuck's chrono chimed again. He had to report to the engine room on time. The Captain in charge was well aware Starbuck was on report, and mad as hades he had to babysit a viper jock in his engine room. If Starbuck didn't show up on time, it would be bad, very bad. The engineer already found some of the grimiest and most repetitive tasks for Starbuck with the constant threat that there were worse jobs he could be doing. He called to Rene's retreating back, "Uh, talk to you later, okay?"
She absently waved at him as she was laying into Jake about him having told Starbuck about the two being sealed. Starbuck tried not to let the jealousy whisper in his ear as he left the chambers. She had said yes, in writing, hadn't she? He held onto the note in his pocket like a talisman that could ward off the demon of jealousy. By the end of his shift in the engine room, the note was a crumpled soggy mess from his own sweat. He pulled it out and tried to smooth it out on the dash of his viper, but some of the ink had smeared. It was torn in one spot, battered, just like how he was feeling by the time he landed after a very long and tedious patrol.
Rene was waiting for him, and that perked him up a bit, except she still looked angry, or at the very least serious without a smile on her lips and her arms crossed. He sighed heavily and climbed from the cockpit wondering what he was going to have to deal with this time.
She didn't even give him a chance to say good morning. "I'm not sealed to Jake."
"So you got it dissolved that fast? Good, look I'm tired. It's been a long night and…"
Her face softened and she uncrossed her arms to reach for him. "I was never sealed to Jake. Never. I don't know why he did that, other than he says Cassiopeia didn't know us and she didn't know he was family. She wouldn't tell him anything, and you were out, so he," she did her classic shrug, "he fixed it in the records so that she would tell him what was going on. But we never were sealed."
"Oh." Starbuck tried to process everything, to collate the truth to present to the green eyed monster that had taken up residence in his head. "But you had kids together?"
"Don't have to be sealed to do that as I'm sure you're pretty well aware of about now. And it's one kid. You and I both know who Kiff's father is."
Her admitting it made the anger spark inside his own chest and flare up to his eyes. "It's Jake and that's the last time you say it's not!"
She held her hands up in surrender but slight smile tugged at the corner of her lips. "You're right, I was wrong. Both Jake's. And I am not sealed to him. Never was."
Starbuck tried to take a deep breath to shake off the bands that had been constricting his chest. "Thank you."
Her lips pursed as she answered, "You're welcome." They both stood there in the landing bay awkwardly for a few microns before she spoke again in a soft whisper, "I miss you. How are you holding up?"
"Better since your note. I miss you. I miss our bed. I miss the kids. I miss getting enough sleep."
"How much longer?"
"I don't know. I've lost track as the cycles are starting to blur together. Six more? Ten? I'm not sure."
"I'll walk you to the barracks and get you tucked in. You look beat." She reached to hold his hand, squeezing twice.
He felt her tremble and asked even though there was nothing he could really do about it at the moment, "Are you even trying to sleep? Are you hooked on the stims again?"
"On second thought, I should get to class."
He held on as she started to pull away. He pulled her to him, took her in his arms, enjoying the feel of her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to nag. I'm just tired."
"I try, Starbuck. I went and asked for the sleep aids like you wanted. They just leave me feeling fuzzy and hung over. They don't help."
He wanted to yell at her that the stims didn't help either, but they didn't have time for that fight. He didn't want to waste what few moments they had together fighting. He leaned down to kiss her before pulling away. "I'm almost done and then we can go back to the way it was and try to enjoy ourselves and plan a sealing. I promise."
She nodded. "Can you do me a favor?"
"Anything, beautiful."
"Stop worrying about me. I'm fine." She pulled herself away from him and headed for the training rooms. He was too tired to ask her to wait up.
He slept a little better that day, but he figured it was just from exhaustion and the engine room duty was lighter than usual, thank the lords. When he reached the hangar bay for patrol he had a pleasant surprise. Rene was sitting on his viper waiting for him, a smile on her face.
"Hey, flyboy." She smiled wider as she hopped down to him.
"Hey there, pretty lady, what brings you to my flight deck?" He tested the waters to see how deep they were at the moment.
She smiled at him and cocked her head to the launch tube. "I paid Jenny to hold up your patrol. I heard from a reliable source that launch tubes are a great place to…" she hesitated obviously trying to choose a different word than frack, "have a little privacy. Want to check it out handsome?" She came to him, leaned up to kiss him, a soft kiss at first, as her hands wrapped around him.
"How much time do we have? I believe you said I need more than six centons," he teased with her smiling.
"More than ten centons this time. And if you want to waste it talking, I'm okay with that too."
He leaned down to kiss her, a kiss that started shallow and grew deeper. He only pulled away so he could lead her to the tube. "Oh, more than ten centons, well, that's a luxury we shouldn't waste. I'm not sure I'll need the full ten, but nice to know I have it just in case."
Once in the tube, he let Rene set the fast pace she seemed to prefer. They didn't even bother with taking off his boots or her tunic, a fast and frantic moment, but lords he had needed that. He moaned deeply once he was inside her, and paused for a micron just trying to memorize the feeling. She reached to brush the hair from his eyes before leaning in to kiss him again. It was the only slow moment, as the rest was a hurried panic to get it done and not get caught or worse, interrupted. Afterwards, he realized it might have been a mistake as it made him miss her even more, and also made him want to fall asleep even though he had a patrol to do.
He brushed her hair back from her eyes and uttered what he had meant to say for cycles, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten in trouble. I should have saved my fists for another time when I knew I could get rid of him."
"shhh," was all she said before hugging him hard, then pulling away to get him and herself put back together.
"You really aren't sealed to Jake?"
She smiled up at him as she handed him his jacket. "Really. Never been sealed. You'll get to be first. Up to you if you'll be the last."
Those words made the rest of the punishment details easier to take. The patrol that night flew by and he was pleased to find Rene in the bay waiting for him when he landed. She walked him to the barracks, gave him a kiss, and met him again the next night before his patrol. They didn't have time for the launch tubes, but it was still nice to see her smile even though she looked as tired as he felt. He'd fix this once his punishment was over, just a few more cycles.