NOTE: I've been a bit slow updating, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue with my original direction. Please review & let me know what you think. Thanks for reading.

Chapter 10

Rayna watched Deacon's face as he processed what she had told him. She could sense his inner struggle as he contemplated what he was going to say next. As much as Rayna appreciated and sympathized with him wanting to keep her safe, there was no way she would ever be able to live with herself if she wasn't tested. If Deacon didn't get a donor and the unthinkable happened and he died, she would never be able to live with the "what-ifs". How would she ever be able to explain to Maddie that she didn't even try? Maddie had already lost so many years with Deacon because of her. She'd be damned if she was going to let Maddie down again if there was any way for her to prevent it. Chances were she wouldn't be a match anyway, especially considering his blood type, but she had to know for sure.

"I know you're against it, but I need to do this, babe. Not just for you, but for me and for Maddie. I love you Deacon, so I have to try. Please understand that," Rayna tried to reason.

Deacon was trying very hard to stay calm, but every thought in his head was screaming to be let out. And that obviously was not a good idea, so in an attempt to persuade Rayna to reconsider, he responded, "I love you too, Ray. That's why I can't let you do it. It's not an option."

Convinced she MUST have heard him incorrectly, Rayna said, "Excuse me … Did you say you can't let me be tested?"

By the visible stiffness in her shoulders, Deacon knew this wasn't going to go as he had hoped, but he had no intention of backing down. This was too important. "That's right. That's what I said."

Rayna just stared at him in total disbelief that he would even suggest that the decision was anyone else's but hers, as to whether or not she wanted to be tested as a possible donor. It was an established fact that Rayna Jaymes didn't take kindly to being told what she could or could not do. She hadn't taken it from label heads even early in her career or from any man in her life, and she surely had no plans to change that now. But when she met his eyes in preparation for the inevitable confrontation, she saw something there that made her stop before lashing out. FEAR. Deacon looked petrified. She knew he was terrified of anything that would potentially hurt her. So instead of challenging him at that particular moment in time, she took the few short steps between them and put her arms around his waist.

With her words somewhat muffled from her head resting against his bare chest, she said, "Babe, I'm just going to get the preliminary blood test done, nothing else right now. There's no point in us arguing about something that hasn't even happened yet and ruining last night and this morning. Can we please just cross that bridge if we get to it?"

Rayna looked up at him with a twinkle in her eyes, knowing full well what that look did to him. Exasperated, Deacon shook his head, "Fine, Ray. We'll table it for now. But I hope you understand postponing the conversation isn't going to change how I feel." And with that, a temporary truce was called.

The appointment for Rayna to have blood drawn had been quick and easy. Now all there was for her to do was wait for the results. In the meantime, it was business as usual. Meetings with various writers and producers seemed to consume Rayna's days at Highway 65. Truth be told, she was becoming more and more overwhelmed because it left absolutely no time in her schedule for her to wade through the colossal number of demos of new artists she had stacked up on her desk. Unfortunately, because of this, she had not been able to sign any other new artists, which is something that she desperately needed to do. The label was doing well, but if she really wanted it to thrive, additional artists were a must. Bucky had suggested hiring someone to listen to the demos for her in order to weed out the ones that were definite negatives. The problem with Bucky's solution was that Rayna didn't trust anyone else's musical judgment besides her own. How would some person come in and be able to tell Rayna what she would or wouldn't like? She knew exactly what sound she was looking for, but trusting someone else to find it just seemed ludicrous. There was only one other person in the world she trusted to truly know and understand her musical preferences and what she wanted to accomplish at Highway 65 … That was Deacon! Now, that was an idea she hadn't thought of before, but Deacon was so damned proud, he would probably think she was offering him work out of pity. He had been writing, but actually playing out himself and doing session work had all but stopped completely. He just got tired so easily, and the "bad" days had increased drastically recently. Thinking about it, she knew this could be the perfect solution for both she and Deacon. It would give him the opportunity to continue being active in the musical world, and in return, she trusted his musical instincts more than anyone else's, including her own at times. It may be a long shot, but Rayna decided to at least discuss it with him and hopefully he would see what she saw in the prospect of her proposed working partnership.

Teddy had already picked up Maddie and Daphne from Deacon's when she had finally finished with her meetings for the day, so Deacon's house was abnormally quiet when she got there. The only sound was the comforting strum of Deacon's Martin. Not only was it a beautiful melody, but the fact he was playing almost made Rayna's heart burst. He hadn't been playing much lately, and when he did, it was to show Maddie how to play something that was particularly complicated or difficult for her. Following the sweet sound, Rayna quietly made her way to the doorway of Deacon's bedroom. She stood there watching Deacon who was completely lost in the music. He would play and stop every few minutes to write down lyrics he was working on into the leather notebook that was never far from him. That notebook held so many memories, some of which were good but many of which were firmly rooted in Deacon's past demons. Rayna knew many of those demons were directly related to her and the decisions she had made that had affected him over the years.

Watching him now took her back to when it was just the two of them and the music, before addiction consumed them, before she married someone else and before he found out she had lied to him about Maddie. She missed those days, when it was them against the world. They had been each other's biggest supporters then, and despite everything that had happened throughout the years, they still were. That had to mean something, didn't it? They shared a bond that while bent at times remained unbroken. It was a gift they both had been careless with at times, but she truly believed they had finally moved past those past mistakes and were committed to holding on to the love that neither of them had ever really been able to let go of.

Lost in her thoughts, Rayna didn't notice Deacon had stopped playing and was staring at her. "Ray … Ray …," Deacon called. When he got her attention, he continued. "What are you thinking about, Ray? Must be something pretty good … You looked like you were a million miles away."

Smiling, Rayna admitted, "You. I was thinking about you and how lucky I am to still have you in my life after all these years."

Deacon held his hand out for Rayna to take as she made her way towards him. "I think I'm the lucky one, Rayna. I've never really deserved you," he said without the self-loathing that used to accompany these same words, but more of as something factual. It was disheartening to Rayna to know he still felt that way. She had hoped his perception of their relationship had moved beyond that misconception.

Rayna held his hand in hers as she sat next to him and his chaotic arrangement of sheet music. Shaking her head, she said, "Oh Deacon, I so wish you could see yourself the way I see you … the way so many others see you. Because if you did, you would know how fortunate each and every one of us feel to have you in our lives. You inspire me every day. You have faced things in your life that most of us never even dream of in our nightmares. Things that would demolish anyone else. But not you. You've struggled, but you always make it through to the other side. Bruised and battered, but never defeated. You may think that you're the lucky one, but the truth is, I've been much less deserving of your love and loyalty than the other way around." By now Rayna's tears were flowing. "You've been the one person in my life I could always count on, even when I didn't deserve your loyalty. Let's be honest, you've loved me when I was pretty much unlovable. I certainly didn't treat you very well this past year, but here you are, still looking at me with eyes filled with love and respect. I'll be forever grateful for being loved by you."

Sensing the protest that was sure to come, Rayna continued, "Look how people have rallied around you and for you. Nurse Nora told me they have never seen so many volunteers wanting to be tested as donors. Whether you realize it or not, you have been such an influence and mentor for so many in this town. You're a good man Deacon, and I count my lucky stars God gave me you."

Not knowing what to say, Deacon did the only thing he could to show Rayna how much her words meant to him. He leaned forward to kiss her, first her forehead before placing a feathery kiss on her nose. Before touching his lips to hers, he pulled back just enough for their eyes to meet and said in barely a whisper, "I love you, Ray." The kiss that followed was so deliberately sweet and slow, Rayna found herself resisting the urge to cry. This was home, and they both knew it. There would be no more denying it from either one of them.

Deacon traced the outline of Rayna's cheek before deepening the kiss. The sense of urgency that had been there the last few times they made love was gone. Deacon wanted to take his time and enjoy every inch of her. He trailed kisses from her neck to her ear, taking her lobe in his mouth after reaching his destination. Deacon smiled as Rayna's breath caught and a low moan escaped. She reached for him and pulled his mouth back to hers, moving her hands to the buttons of denim shirt, releasing them one at a time. Once the last button was free, Rayna slowly pushed his shirt off his shoulders as Deacon started working to rid her of her blouse as well. Impatient to feel her bare skin against his own, Deacon lifted the shirt over her head and wasted no time discarding the rest of their clothing. With nothing between them, he rolled her onto her back so his body was covering hers and slid his hand down her body. Rayna drew in a ragged breath when his fingers reached their mark and he pushed two fingers inside of her. As his fingers moved, her hands traveled down his body, one gliding over his ass while the other stroked the length of him, earning a deep guttural groan from Deacon. Her hand matched his fingers for speed, and when they were both so close to falling over the edge, Deacon removed his fingers and pinned her hands above her head before entering her in one languid movement. He watched as her eyes fluttered shut, loving what he could do to her. He rocked into her slowly at first but increased speed as her moans became louder and more urgent. Deacon was taken by surprise when Rayna's hips met him thrust for thrust. Deacon felt like he was on fire as she started to pulse around him. "Oh God, Deacon …" Rayna shouted. That's all it took to send him and her over the edge as he emptied himself into her.

Their hearts raced as they lay there, still joined. Beads of sweat lingered on their foreheads. When Deacon pulled out of her, Rayna immediately felt the void his absence left. He rolled to his back taking her with him, bodies still entwined. Once their breathing had somewhat regulated, Rayna propped her head on his chest and their eyes connected. With fresh tears in her eyes, Rayna whispered her greatest fear. "I can't lose you! Not now! I love you so much." At a loss for words for the second time since she had walked through the door, Deacon pulled her tightly against him and held her with everything he had in him. "I know, baby." And they both let their tears fall, knowing the harsh reality was all too close.

She must have fallen asleep at some point because when she woke, she was practically laying on top of Deacon who was watching the news. Still groggy, she lifted her head to look at him, "Hey babe … what time is it?"

Smiling down at her, Deacon answered, "Around 10:30 or so … You've been out like a light, woman! Slept right through dinner time." On cue, Deacon's belly rumbled.

Rayna laughed, "We better feed you then …" She was interrupted when Deacon covered her mouth with his own. As good as it felt and as much as she would have loved to get lost in the moment, Rayna wanted to make sure Deacon was eating properly, which meant no skipping meals. A proper diet was one of the most important things according to Dr. Marsh in order to limit the progression and severity of his symptoms, so as delicious as his mouth was on hers, they needed to take care of dinner first. Rayna reluctantly pulled back, "Whoa cowboy! What's gotten into you?" Deacon just smirked and shrugged his shoulders. Laughing, Rayna said, "Hold that thought, babe. But right now, we're gonna get you something to eat."

Deacon raised his eyebrow at her and responded, "Oh, I can assure you, Ray, I have every intention of eating … " With that, he trailed his hand down her body, finally cupping her breast, rolling his thumb over her nipple. He could see her weakening and just as she was about to give in, Deacon dropped his hand, leaving her aching for his touch. He playfully pecked her on the mouth and said, "You're right, Ray. We should eat. I'm starving!" And then he winked at her before getting out of bed and reaching for his pants.

Mouth hanging wide open, Rayna couldn't believe he had just played her. "Oh my God, Deacon Claybourne … I can't even believe you just did that! You are such an ass!"

He definitely thought himself to be hilarious judging from the grin on his face, so Rayna decided two could play that game. She got out of their bed and sashayed over to him, stopping close enough to him that he could feel her breath on his neck. Leaning forward so that her mouth was next to his ear, "Just remember, darling, paybacks are a bitch!" Before she turned to walk into the bathroom, she cupped him through his sweatpants, giving him a squeeze. The smirk Deacon had been wearing so proudly quickly disappeared. With one last squeeze and a kiss to his cheek, Rayna turned and walked away. Pleased with herself for the time being, she knew that sooner or later, she would pay for that, and she couldn't wait!

As they ate, Rayna decided it would be a good time to talk to Deacon about the demos.

"I have something I want to run by you, babe."

Curiosity peaked, Deacon asked, "What's going on, Ray?"

"Well, you know how busy I've been with the label. I mean, it's great but there's so much that comes with running a label that not much time is left for other stuff. I have a stack of demos on my desk that have been there for weeks, but I just haven't had the time to listen to them. And if I don't listen to them, I can't find more artists for the label. Bucky suggested I hire someone to listen to them for me and weed out the definite no's. In theory, I know it's a good idea, but you know how I am … I need to have control. How is some stranger going to be able to find the sound I'm looking for?" Rayna paused for Deacon's reaction.

Shaking his head, he said, "I don't know, Ray. Sounds like you need some help, but it would be pretty tough to trust someone else with something that important. Especially with being the control freak you are …"

"Ha Ha, very funny! Anyway, I've been thinking about it and I think I've come up with a way to make Bucky's idea work. It would have to be someone who really knows me and someone I trust completely. There's only one person in this world I trust like that …" Rayna watched as the light bulb went off in Deacon's head.

"You want me to do it, right?" Deacon asked.

"I know it's a lot to ask, but I really don't trust anyone else to do it. You know more about my music than I do sometimes. Hell, you and I made most of it together. You get me – If something sucks, you'll tell me it sucks. That's what I need. Please Deacon, will you at least consider working for Highway 65?" Rayna let him process what she was asking.

Deacon wasn't totally surprised at her request. He knew Rayna was becoming more and more overwhelmed with the responsibilities of label head plus everything else that went with having a new company. He didn't want her to be offering him employment out of pity. He hadn't been doing a lot musically as of late, with the exception of some writing. The truth was, he didn't really need to work if he didn't want to. He had plenty of money in savings, but he did have to admit he was getting a little bored staring at the same walls every day. And she was right … he did know her and her music better than anyone. This would be a way for him to help her, and not to mention, it would be fun. Having the chance to help struggling new artists get their music heard would be incredibly gratifying. It would be good for all of them.

"Ok Ray, I'll do it. Why not?"

Rayna's face nearly split from the grin she gave him before launching herself at him. She rained kisses all over his face. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

Standing up, he tossed Rayna over his shoulder and said, "I can think of a few ways for you to thank me … Time for paybacks, baby!" She giggled as Deacon made his way back to the bedroom where they spent the rest of the night making each other scream for mercy. He figured there was a good chance he wouldn't be able to do this for much longer, so he was going to enjoy it while he could.

Deacon was already up, showered and drinking coffee when Rayna made her way to the kitchen. She noticed his pill bottles lined up on the table as Deacon got his morning doses out to take with breakfast. It was still so surreal to see him on a regimen of medication. He was the strongest man she had ever known, and watching him like this broke her heart. There were so many things in this world that just weren't fair, and Deacon being sick ranked right at the top in her book.

"Morning, babe. You're up early."

Deacon looked like he had been caught red handed with his hand in the cookie jar. She knew it was hard for him that she had to witness him dealing with his medicines and the day to day parts of his illness. "Couldn't sleep, so thought I might as well get the day started." Walking over to Rayna and circling her waist, he said, "How are you this fine morning?"

Making a face at him, she chuckled. "Well, to honest … sore!"

Deacon laughed and dropped a kiss to her nose. "Me too! Guess we're getting a little old for those antics."

"Ha … no way! Speak for yourself, old man! I'm just out of practice, but it's all coming back to me," she said as she cuddled into his chest. They stood like that for another few minutes when her phone rang.

Grabbing it out of her purse, Rayna answered. "Hello. This is Rayna Jaymes."

It was Dr. Marsh's office. "Ms. Jaymes, the results from your blood test are in. We put a rush on it like you requested."

Rayna's patience was waning. "Ok, so what are the results?" She glanced at Deacon who was completely engrossed in his newspaper, probably assuming the call was work related.

"The test showed that your blood type is a match for Mr. Claybourne's."

Rayna's knees nearly gave out. "So what next? What do I need to do?"

"If you still want to move forward, the next step is the crossmatching test …"

Interrupting the assistant, Rayna blurted out, "Yes, of course, I want to move forward." Rayna paused to walk into the living room where Deacon wouldn't hear her. "If it is fine with Dr. Marsh though, can we not say anything about it until after the testing is complete?"

"Uh, sure, Ms. Jaymes. That's not a problem. But we will be contacting Mr. Claybourne about the first batch of potential donor tests that were done."

"Great. Thank you so much!"

Rayna walked back to the kitchen and excused herself to go and get a shower. Turning the shower on full force, she barely made it inside before the sobs overtook her. Just hearing that there was a possibility, no matter how remote, that she could be a match for Deacon, was overwhelming. Was it really possible? Could she really help save his life? Save their family? Rayna certainly wasn't any stranger to prayer, but this one felt different. She typically gave thanks for her blessings, but this time she prayed for the opportunity for be there for Deacon when it counted more than ever before. She asked God to ensure that for this one time, when it meant everything, that she wouldn't let Deacon down.

When she finally made it back into the kitchen, Deacon was leaning against the counter obviously lost in thought. "Watcha doin, babe?" Rayna asked.

"Oh, hey. Nothing. Just thinkin."

"What are you thinking about?"

Deacon shrugged and let out the breath he had been holding. "Dr. Marsh's office called. There's no matches from the first group that were tested."

She knew he was trying not to let his disappointment show, but Rayna knew. She saw it in the lines of his face and the way his shoulders slumped forward. "I know it's frustrating, babe, but don't lose hope. This is going to happen. I know it is. You're not going anywhere." Rayna drew him in close enough so she could hear his heart beat through his shirt.

As Deacon stood there holding the only woman he had ever loved, he made a vow to himself. No matter how bleak things seemed or how bad his illness got, he wouldn't give up. He would fight until his last breath, because this life and this woman were worth fighting for. He had everything to live for, absolutely everything.