Yohji was pleased with his plan to set himself free of her. It wasn't as difficult as he thought, he laid the flowers on her grave and explained the situation and with an honest apology he left her. He promised her to visit sometimes, not as a lover but as a friend.
Now he had to finish off all his ladies, he called every girl and said he was sorry and they won't see each other again and he wished them happiness and so on.
Some of the girls were totally pissed but the most of them wished him good luck. The angry girls had interpreted too much into their flirts, for him it was only no-strings sex but for them it was a lot more.
They hoped they could capture his heart but who would chose a cheap slut instead of the hot and proud redhead.
After he finished his tasks he wanted to repair his relationship.
"Where is Aya?" he couldn't find him.
"Isn't he at home?" Omi asked the stupid question.
"Would I ask?" Yohji snapped "Hey boys" Manx waddled into the shop.
"What happened with you … did you get finally laid?" Yohji grinned shameless.
"Funny" she grunted "I sprained my ankle …sod"
"Do you have a job for us?" Omi changed the topic.
"Yeah" she went into the mission room.
Yohji was worried about Aya but even though he hated it now was not the time to search for him; he could only hope he was all right.
"Manx I have a question" Yohji was serious.
"What do you want?" she was curious.
"What will happen to Aya-chan?" the blond whispered, he didn't want the others to know.
"We give Aya more time but when he can't see at the end of this year, we won't pay for her"
Yohji knew the meaning of this; Aya-chan would be transferred to a cheap hospital with terrible care and busy nurses. Aya would rather die than to send her to a low level hospital "Can I pay for her, if he can't see again?"
"What?" Manx was surprised, Yohji was an ego-maniac and now he wanted to pay for Ayas sister "Why?"
"It's my fault" Yohji said truthful, it wasn't the only reason but it was enough for Manx.
"I think it should be ok" she gave him a light smile "and I always thought you hate each other"
~ Even Manx thinks we hate each other, we must be a strange couple ~
"Can we start now?" Ken urged "We have soccer game"
After Aya left Aya-chans side he met his doc in the hall "Hey Abyssinian, how are you?"
"Fine" he tried to sound honest.
"Really?" she asked suspicious, she knew him long enough to know he was lying.
"Oh sorry" an old woman jostled him "It's ok" he answered polite.
"How often?" it wasn't the first time that day, she could see it in his face.
"Fifth or maybe sixth time" he felt even more invincible than before, how could they run into him every time? He was the one who was blind.
"Don't you think it's time to see?"
"I wish I could but I don't know how" Aya was honest.
"We will find a way" she fetched a card "Here … that's the number of a psychiatrist I think you need it… not only for your eyes" she pressed the pen deep into the paper so he could feel the number; there was no other way than this. She was sure he wouldn't allow her to make an appointment.
He blushed slightly, was it that obvious?
"I saw it at the surgery" she tipped against his waste "How long?"
"I was fourteen and stopped with sixteen, after my parents death I started again not often but when I can't release my anger…" he looked so sad even though he tried to be strong.
"Come to me when you need someone to talk" he nodded and bowed out before she could find out more about his soul.
It was late at night as Aya returned; the nurses let him stay longer because they pitied him even more now.
He went upstairs and slipped into his room, he didn't want to wake his friends up.
Aya changed into his pyjama and wanted to lie down as he noticed Yohjis presence.
He grazed Yohjis warm hand while he searched for his blanket
~ Have you waited for me the whole time? Don't do that it's not healthy.
Do I sleep in my bed or in his? I don't want to wake him … when I'm not there in the morning he worries even more … ~
He groped carefully for Yohji and settled down next to him.
He inhaled his nice scent and listened to his soft breath, it was like they never fought.
They always fought about stupid things or because of jealousy, why were it so difficult to be together. They worried about each other, they fought and killed to protect their beloved but in the end they were their real menace themselves.
They destroyed and hurt each other without mercy, what was left was guilt and sadness but sometimes they spent a beautiful time together.
~ I should accept his decisions; I shouldn't say something when he wants to drink.
I should ignore it when he wants to flirt or a one night stand.
Everything is all right … as long he comes back home to me ~
He fell asleep while his thoughts circled around his worries and wishes.
Yohji cursed he wanted to stay awake and wait for Aya and now he slept through the night.
He rubbed his eyes and froze as he heard Aya whimper.
~ When did he come home? … Do you have nightmares again? ~
The blond tilted his head to get a better view "Aya" he caressed his cheek "Aya wake up"
Aya felt a gentle touch and hoped he won't wake up now where his nightmare changed into a nice dream.
Yohji pressed his lips against Ayas. The redhead opened his eyes as he noticed that the touches were too real for a dream.
"Awake now?" Aya could hear his worry and nodded.
"Why did you leave alone?" he lay down on top of Aya and rested his head on his chest, he listened to his heartbeat.
"I visited my sister" he answered cold but he felt insecure, Yohji never did something like that before.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he didn't want him to leave the house without him, the world was bad and especially when you're a blind assassin.
"You were angry and not at home" Aya actually wanted to ask but opt against his company.
"You could have waited" Yohji wanted an answer to his question.
"I have to learn how to live in this world like that" it was time for him to get used to the blindness. He hated it to go outside but Aya-chan needed his care and for that he had to go outside.
"I can lead you" the blond sighed "tell me when you go out"
"Ok" Aya put his arms around Yohjis upper body, it was a soothing feeling.
"I don't want to live my life" Yohji said after a while, Aya tensed and Yohji understood the sign "I don't mean I want to die … I want to live our life"
"Me too" they were on the best way to sort their problems out, again. Aya knew the peace won't last; he was too worthless to make him happy. It was only a matter of time until he made a mistake and thereon the blond will lose his temper.
"I buried my past today… yesterday" Yohji lifted his upper body up, his arms rested next to Ayas head therewith he could look at the beautiful face.
Ayas eyes widened, what did he mean with bury?
"I officially dumped Asuka … I visited her and told her everything about us. After that I dumped all my girls too" he sounded proud.
Aya was speechless; Yohji sacrificed his love for Asuka and his ladies. He was swamped by all the informations.
"I thought you would be happy" Yohji still tried to settle the situation in a calm manner.
"I am but I never thought you would give up your playboy image"
Yohji stroke through Ayas soft hair "You're mine … mine alone"
"Of course I am" Aya was sure he would never submit to someone and now he was his doll, but he loved the blond so much. He never loved someone like that, maybe his job made him crazy or paranoid but he wanted to stick with him forever, was it wrong?
"We have a mission today" Yohji rolled to the side he was afraid of Aya, he wasn't sure the redhead wouldn't attack him. Aya could knock him down or he could chain him up to the bed or both. Yohji was sure he would do something drastic when he had to.
"What?" he shot up, panic crept into his heart. His family was sent into a war and he had to stay at home.
"I knew you would freak out" Yohji tried to sound gentle, it wasn't a reproach he could understand how Aya must felt.
"Don't die … don't you dare to die" Aya said cold and sent him a death glare.
He approached the redhead and put his arms around him "I won't" he gave him a gentle kiss.
It was strange how affective his glare was even though he was blind but it was his own way to cope with the situation.
Aya suppressed his tears; he was weak enough to cry would be like a death sentence to his soul right now.
"You're heart beats so fast" Yohji noticed while he pressed Ayas body against his own.
"It was the shock" Yohji knew it was a lie, it wasn`t the shock it was by far more than that.
It was panic mixed with a cruel kind of fear. He wanted to say liar but it would be a bad idea.
"Do you want to cuddle until we go?"
It was a joke but to his surprise Aya nodded "Then come over here" Yohji shifted to the side and leant against the headboard.
He held Ayas hand and led him into his arms. They spent hours together without to speak a single word. Both were lost in thoughts. Yohji planned the mission and tried to include every petty little matter. Aya used the time to envision every bad think which could happen to them.
After a deep sigh Yohji started to talk again "I'm sorry"
"Why?" Aya loved it when Yohji stroke through his hair.
"I wasn't fair. You're able to use your Katana … but I'm afraid you could fight somehow.
I almost killed you. I'm responsible for your safety"
"You're not `responsible` for me" Aya was angry but hid it perfectly; it wasn't the time for a quarrel.
"I ruined your life even more. You can't sell flowers, you can't kill, you can't survive in the real world … and that's my fault"
~ So that's it? You feel guilty! Are you holding me to ease my fear because you're sorry for me? Do you say you love me because you think you're in my debt?
I knew there's a rub in it! You were violent and doubted my love for you but after the `accident` you changed too fast.
I have to be the old Aya again blind or not I want to be strong and proud.
And I will call the psychiatrist … I`m sure the psychiatrist is able to help me because I don't know what to do ~
"It's Schuldigs fault" Aya said simply and tightened his hug a bit.
"He will pay for what he'd done" Yohji vowed, no one had the right to lay a hand on his lover.
"I have to go" a soft alarm signal sounded through the room, Yohji had set his clock.
Aya stood up and got dressed "I will wait for you" he went into the living room.
Yohji was stunned Aya was quick "He's nervous" he smiled; it was a nice feeling to be loved.
"Aya" Omi said cheerful, the young boy sat on the couch and watched a soccer game together with Ken "Is Yohji ready? We want to go" Ken asked.
"He changes his clothes" Aya answered and sat down on the arm chair.
"Are you all right?" Omi asked worried "You're so pale"
"Maybe I caught a cold" he would never admit to fear something.
"I'm ready" Yohji entered the room and Aya wished he could see, Yohji was a hot assassin.
"Oh before I forget … I prepared dinner for you. It's in the fridge you only need to heat it up" Omi sounded cheerful and not worried. Aya didn't dare to ask what they had to do because he knew he won't like it.
He wasn't hungry and the TV program was shit. He decided to call the psychiatrist; he was supposed to be at the emergency service.
Aya was lucky he got an appointment for the next day, he was sure the doc had a finger in the pie.