Thank you for your comments! See I told you I'm on it! Updating a bit faster now (let's hope I can keep it up^^).

Part 2

April 2016

Blaine needed this. A night out with his friends, no NYADA stuff whatsoever. School was exhausting, he had barely energy left for homework let alone finding jobs out of school to push his career. He could've done it like Rachel and quit school for the sake of pursuing his career but he wasn't like her in terms of already being famous. He couldn't even get a food in a small show. So Blaine figured concentrating on school was the best he could do for now.

Elliot had worked hard to get a liquor license and today was the day his club Stardust would finally open. Everyone was excited, especially Kurt. He wouldn't stop talking and was more annoying than Rachel could ever be. At the moment he was pacing Blaine's living room while talking on the phone.

"We should have not invited him here. We should have agreed to meet him at the club", Blaine sighed.

"Oh, come on. He isn't that annoying", Marely said. Blaine doubtingly looked at her.

"Yes. He is."

Marley sighed and nipped on her drink. She was still single; all of Blaine's tries to set her up hadn't worked. Ever since they lived together he had even tried to talk to her about whatever issues kept her from finding love but… well, who was he to talk? He had been single since Sam had left him, too. They were only two out of millions of lonely singles in New York City.

"Elliot says he has a great surprise for us! Something about the band!" Kurt threw himself onto the couch and grasped his drink.

"Oh, did he book Green Day?"

Blaine and Kurt both frowned at Marley.

"Since when are you listening –" Blaine began.

"No", Kurt interrupted. "No weird punk band. Some pop-country band named 'The City Boys'. Do you know them?"

"Never heard of them. You?" Blaine asked Marley. She shook her head.

"I wonder why Elliot was so excited about them", Kurt said. He pulled out his phone and kept busy with it while Blaine leaned back and drank his wine. He should be doing homework. But no, this was a free evening. Most of his fellow students were going out on Friday night and he could totally afford that, too. He just had forgotten how to have fun but he knew it wasn't something that he couldn't learn again. Yes. He was willing to learn it! Maybe even ready to find a new boyfriend? Who knew? It was about time, really.

"Marley, what do you think about we two find us some boys tonight?" he suggested. "You're still straight, aren't you?"

Marley looked at him in shock. "Why wouldn't I be? Just because a woman doesn't have a boyfriend for a long time doesn't mean she is gay!"

"I know, I know! I was just… joking. I mean, well, I am ready to have some fun tonight!"

"That's good for you", Marley nodded, her expression softening. "I'm not that type of girl but I support you in your mission to find someone. It's Elliot's bar so I figure it attracts some gay men."

Blaine nodded wildly. "I'm so over Sam!"

He grinned and high-fived Marley.

"Good to hear", Kurt said without looking up from his phone. "So you'll be okay with seeing him tonight?"

"Huh?"

"He's in the band." Kurt waggled with his phone and Marley grabbed it. Blaine leaned to her to see what Kurt was talking about. The screen showed an article about the band 'The City Boys' and mentioned it had been founded half a year ago by the lead singer Sam Evans. And yes, it was his Sam, there was a picture of him during a performance. Blaine took the phone out of Marley's hands and stared at the pic. Wow, Sam looked so different. His hair had grown and he wore it in a ponytail, and while singing he radiated such joy. He looked healthy, not too thin anymore, and he seemed happy but it created a big fat lump in Blaine's throat. Had he been the one to drag Sam down? Because apparently as soon as they had broken up Sam had recovered and found his life mission and success and…

Kurt leaned forward and took his phone back. "If I had known you start crying I wouldn't have shown you."

"I'm not…" Blaine wiped a tear out of his eye. "I'm not crying. I'm happy for Sam. I'm glad he is well and everything."

"But?" Kurt raised his eyebrows.

Marley laid a hand on Blaine's shoulder and squeezed it while Blaine took up his drink.

"Well, how would you feel if you saw how great your ex was doing without you? It's like I dragged him down. Oh God." Blaine wiped over his eyes again. He didn't even feel like crying, the tears came out on their own! He received a tissue from Marley and blew his nose.

"Does that mean you don't want to go?" Kurt asked.

Blaine shrugged. Did he want to go and see Sam? Well, yeah. But would it be good or would he cry and again drag his friends down?

"I mean, Sam knows Elliot", Marley said. "So maybe he took on the gig with hopes of seeing you? Have you two ever talked about what happened?"

Blaine shook his head. "He just called me to tell me we're over. I still don't know the reason. He only mumbled something like, his bi-phase is over now, but… Well… I don't know what to think about that."

Kurt snorted. "His parents brain-washed him, what else."

"Don't say… I mean…" Blaine puckered his lips. It was true that Sam's parents hadn't appeared very supportive of his bi-sexuality but Sam was a grown man. He could make his own decisions. That couldn't be the reason, could it?

Blaine squared his shoulders. "No. I want to go and talk to him. Only then will I be able to truly move on."

Kurt pulled a face from that Blaine wasn't sure what it was meant to express and Marley patted his shoulder.

"Good idea. Do you want another drink before we go?"

The club was more crowded than Blaine had expected for a new opening. But Elliot had advertised in every magazine ever, in newspapers, on poster pillars and on the boards of NYU and NYADA and really worked his ass off so it wasn't really a miracle people showed up. Blaine looked around and caught himself being way too excited about seeing Sam. They would have a decent end talk and then go their separate ways again. Sam was probably busy with his band and everything. And with a girlfriend, yeah Sam probably had a girlfriend by now. Seeing that his bi-phase was over and he was a hot young singer… yeah.

"Aah, there is Elliot! I'm going to say hi!" Kurt screamed before he took off to the bar. Blaine didn't think twice about it, he followed him. Marley could take care of herself after all.

Elliot was behind the bar and Kurt leaned over for a short kiss. Blaine arrived shortly afterwards and laid an arm around Kurt's shoulders to interrupt their talk.

"Elliot! Take me to Sam!"

"Whoa there, who's too drunk to talk to his ex right now?" Kurt said.

"I don't care. I haven't seen him over a year and he owns me a reason", Blaine said. He wasn't drunk. Just… very enthusiastic.

"Oh, not before the show, no-oh", Elliot said. "You'll ruin his mood."

"I will not!" Blaine hiccupped and held a hand in front of his mouth. Elliot just laughed and went away while Kurt ordered something from the barwoman. Then he put off Blaine's arm and made Blaine sit on a bar stool.

"You will drink some water now", he said.

"I'm not drunk, I just need to see Sam."

"Yeah. And you will. After you drank your water."

Blaine pouted but there was no chance escaping Kurt. And he didn't even want to, walking and talking was exhausting. In fact all he wanted was to be in Sam's arms again. Was that too much to ask, really?

He sipped on his water until Elliot appeared on the stage. Blaine turned around on his chair to watch him introduce the band. When Sam came out Blaine's heart literally skipped a beat. There he was, so near yet so far away. Blaine could just hide in the crowd and not talk to him at all. As a late revenge. Nobody was allowed to just call it off over the phone! It didn't count! Technically they were still together, yup. And sending his dad to get his stuff out of the apartment? How gutless was that? It didn't count, too. Blaine had to tell Sam that it didn't count.

"Honey, are you alright?" Kurt asked. Blaine nodded without taking his eyes off of Sam.

"You're crying again", Kurt informed Blaine. He wiped over his cheeks. Oh, yeah.

"Maybe it's not the best idea ever to talk to him now?" Kurt said.

"I will talk to Sam. He has to know that it didn't count."

"Oh, Blaine", Kurt sighed and rubbed over Blaine's back. Blaine didn't even feel it, not really. He looked around for Marley and noticed that she was talking to a guy. Good for her. Sam's voice sounded so great, hot, heavenly… Maybe Kurt was actually right this one time and Blaine shouldn't talk to Sam in this emotional state? And maybe he was a little drunk, alright. But would have Sam come here if he didn't want to talk to Blaine? Sure that was what he had had in mind, right?

Now Marley came over and patted Blaine's back, too. He wasn't a hopeless case of love sickness! He didn't need all that comfort! He got up and left his friends. He hadn't even thought that much of Sam lately. Just seeing him again was… well, anybody would be emotional. They would talk and clear things up and then Blaine could move on. There was cute new guy in Adam's Apples who seemed to be gay, so, yeah.

"Hey, hey, Blaine. Are you okay?" Now Elliot, too. He came to Blaine as he positioned himself on a cocktail table to the left, closer to the stage than before.

"I am okay! Yes! Thank you!"

"You don't look… well." Elliot glanced to the bar and drove a hand over his mouth. "Well, come on, I'll take you behind the stage."

"Okay."

Finally someone supported Blaine! He followed Elliot through the crowd and along the stage. They entered it on the side, outside of the stage lights and Blaine almost wanted to run to Sam and interrupt his performance. But he wasn't that drunk.

The noise drowned out as they went to a door and Elliot closed it. The light was bright and Blaine squinted with his eyes. They were in a grey and ugly hall with some doors at both sides.

"I have a few rooms for the entertainers here", Elliot said. He guided Blaine to a room and switched on the lights. A few chairs, a sofa and a table were in here. Elliot went to the other side of the room and opened a door, turning on the lights in there, too.

"I suggest you look into the mirror before you talk to Sam. You can drink some of the water, too." Elliot pointed to the table with a few bottles on it.

"Oh… thanks", Blaine said. Did he really look that bad?

Elliot hit his shoulder as he passed him. "I'll bring Sam here during their break. If he wants to. Are you okay with waiting here?"

Blaine nodded. As Elliot went and closed the door behind him the music got even quieter. Blaine went into the bathroom. Oh God, his eyes looked really red! He hadn't cried that much, come on! He washed his face and then drank some water while pacing the room. The music went on for an endless long time. Of course Blaine hadn't thought Elliot would interrupt the show for him but… but… it took one hour until the music stopped and Blaine heard some voices outside. They died away soon and the following quiet was even more unbearable. What if Sam didn't want to talk to him? What if he had just come here for the money and would refuse to see Blaine? Or worse if he would come here and tell Blaine that… he didn't love him anymore.

When finally someone knocked against the door Blaine jumped. He sat in an armchair, placed his elbows on his knees and looked to the ground while taking three deep breaths to calm down.

"Come in." He didn't look up when he heard the door going, oh God, he didn't want to have this conversation. It wouldn't end well, would it?

The door was closed again and a few unsure steps came towards him. Blaine looked up and his heart dashed so hard he couldn't breathe.

"Hi, uhm… I was hoping to see you", Sam said. He had a small water bottle in his hands and fumble with the label. His skin was sweaty from the performance but despite all of his former thoughts Blaine didn't feel the need to rush to him and kiss him. No, all of a sudden his anger came up, the anger he had suppressed during the whole last year and that had kept quiet except for some nagging now and then. Sam had said he would never leave him or hurt him but he had! Such an ass!

"I missed you", Sam said. Blaine bit his lip and shook his head. In the next moment he stood up and glared at Sam.

"Well, if you missed me why didn't you ever call again? Or come visit? I still don't even know why we broke up in the first place!"

Sam rubbed over his neck. "I told you. My bi-phase was over. I figured you wouldn't want to see me for some time…"

"So you sneak away and break off all contact. Genius plan, really."

Sam bit his lip. His eyes wandered through the room for a few moments before he focused on Blaine again.

"I wanted to give you time to get over it so we can be best friends again after a while."

Blaine raised his eyebrows. "Well, your plan didn't work out."

Sam nodded. He looked at his hands. "Okay."

Blaine didn't know what to say. He had so many things on his mind but none would come out.

"Do you need more time…?" Sam asked.

"No, Sam, I don't need more time. I need you."

There, he had said it. The urge to cry came up and Blaine pushed it back down. Not now. He wanted to hear what Sam thought about them before he would give in to hopelessness once again.

"I'm not gay anymore, Blaine."

Blaine drew in his lips so hard it hurt. He nodded and tried to breathe. Sam's eyes looked pitiful but not as hurt as Blaine felt right now. He really meant it, didn't he? He was over Blaine… over them. Again Blaine tried to breathe but it just wouldn't work. He looked to the ground and quickly wiped away a teardrop from his cheek. Damn, he was crying again.

"Shit. I screwed up", Sam said. "I'm… I shouldn't have come here."

Blaine shook his head. He couldn't look up and let Sam see his tears, his pain.

"You were right from the beginning", Sam said. "It was a mistake."

"Shut up!" Blaine glared at Sam. "Whatever you do, don't you dare say we were a mistake!"

Sam nervously wetted his lips. "But… We'd still be friends if…"

"We had feelings for each other! Should we have fought them? That would not have saved our friendship, believe me."

Sam looked at his bottle again, to the door and then to the ceiling. His eyes were glistening and with the next second a silent tear rolled down his cheek. He wiped over his nose and sniffled.

"I'm sorry, Blaine, I… I need to go back out there soon." Sam cleared his throat.

"Yeah, go. Run away again", Blaine said. He sat down and buried his face in his hands. Everything inside of him was breaking. He needed to cry, like really hard. If Sam would just leave him alone so he could let himself go.

"Blaine… Please don't cry. I mean… look, it's… I mean, can't we be friends again?"

Blaine bit his lip. Would it really be that easy for Sam? Did he really, was he really… so…

"Tell me it meant something for you", Blaine whispered, not sure when he had planned on saying it and not sure if it had been loud enough for Sam to hear it.

"You know it did. I never lied, Blaine. I…" Sam walked a few steps towards Blaine but then stopped as if not knowing what to do. Blaine looked up at him. Now Sam's eyes talked of pain and regret and it was more than Blaine could bear. He averted his eyes again.

"Please, you need to understand, Blaine. It wasn't easy for me, I swear."

Blaine swallowed down more tears. "Then why… Why, Sam?"

Sam took a deep breath and glanced at the door. The next moment he put the bottle on the table and squat in front of Blaine, taking both of his hands into his. The sudden body contact made Blaine shiver and eased his urge to cry.

"I swear to God I had to force myself to do it, Blaine. And I regretted it every day ever since but, see, we can't… I mean I'm… I have to be a good role model."

"What?" Blaine frowned. He didn't even realised what Sam was talking about, all Blaine heard was that Sam had regretted it. But then why break up in the first place? Or why not call and ask to take him back? All that unnecessary suffering!

"You agree with me, right? Please don't cry." Sam's green eyes uneasily searched Blaine's. When Blaine didn't move Sam squeezed his hands.

"Yeah? We'll be best friends again, okay? I don't want to lose you again, Blaine, please."

"Uh." Blaine shook his head in confusion. "I still don't… if you had to force yourself then why do it?"

"It doesn't matter now. What matters is that we still have each other. Please."

For the first time Blaine allowed himself to look longer than a few moments into Sam's eyes. And he found what had been there a year ago, that spark that connected them and that made him want to get closer and closer to his – to Sam. His eyes automatically glanced at Sam's lips. Oh God, how he needed them now. To taste then, to be assured that everything was good as long as they were together, no matter what was going on with the world.

"Not like that", Sam whispered. "I meant as best friends."

Blaine forced himself to look up again. "Are you sure you don't love me anymore?"

"I never said that." Sam stroked over Blaine's hair and let his fingers run over his ear.

"Yes. Saying your bi-phase is over means your love for me is over", Blaine said. Sam bit his lip.

"It's not that easy."

"Yes, it is. Do you love me, yes or no?"

For a moment there Blaine believed everything was good again. He fell into Sam's eyes and was welcomed deep into his heart, could see into his soul, felt that the answer was yes. But in the next moment Sam cast down his eyes and let go of Blaine's hands.

"I can't say. Maybe I never did."

Blaine's jaw dropped while his guts were overrun by a big fat war tank. Everything died inside of him. That would explain why he felt numb. Sam retreated and got up. Blaine's reaction set in just before Sam could leave the room. He caught up with him and struck out. His flat right hand hit Sam so hard in the face that his head was thrown aside. His cheek immediately burnt with red pain.

"You ass!" Blaine hissed. He couldn't even cry. The tears got stuck in his throat together with the biggest lump ever. How could Sam even say that! Unbelievable, just… wow. And to think that Blaine had hoped all this time… No. No, he wouldn't wait anymore. He left the room, the building, the quarter. From now on his only mission in life would be finding a boyfriend who really loved him.