The Doctor schooled his expression, trying to appear nonchalant, his eyes following the movement of the coral, as his mind reached out to it, reassuring it. "What brings you in here?" he asked.
"Mum was going to bring you up some tea. I told her to save her legs." She nodded over to the chair she had placed it on. "So what's your fascination with this rock? It doesn't seem like much, rather ugly, in fact." She held it up between her thumb and index finger, frowning at it, as if trying to figure out what its secret was.
"It just reminds me of home is all. I found it at on the shore. Only one like it." He hoped he didn't sound as nervous as he felt.
"This thing reminds you of back there? Doesn't everything here remind you that?"
"I didn't mean the other Earth. I meant Gallifrey, my home."
Rose shook her head. "How could anything, much less this ugly thing, remind you of a place you've never been? Gallifrey is no more your home than mine." She plopped the coral back on the dresser. The Doctor hoped she didn't see him wince at the report it made when it connected with the hard surface. He sent out a soothing thread of calm to the coral, letting it know it was safe now, but made no move to pick it up, not wanting to let her know how important it was to him. He turned his attention to the problem at hand.
"So why are you really here?" The Doctor asked. "If you'd just wanted to save your mother's legs, you would have handed the tea off to one of the household staff."
"I wanted to talk to you alone, to find out what you're really up to."
"Why do you think I am up to anything? I willing to do what you want, help you get back. Isn't that all that matters?"
"No, you've tricked me before. You're not like him at all. I can't trust you." She crossed her arms and scowled.
The Doctor for his part was confused. When she had first said he'd tricked her, he thought she was talking about his brother. How his brother had told her to get something out of the TARDIS and then had it take her home or perhaps when his brother had dropped the interdimensional transport around her neck sending her to this world that first time. But no, she was clearly talking about something he had done.
"When did I trick you?"
"When you managed to get me to sleep with you."
"What! Excuse me? I managed to get you to sleep with me? That's not how I remember it." He was shocked at the accusation.
"You dressed up like him to entice me. Made me think we could have children."
The Doctor was incredulous. "I…, I dressed up like him? You're the one who bought the suit and told me to try it on, treated me like a fashion doll. It was your fantasy, not mine."
"But you wore it, you looked just like him, you knew how that would make me feel." He could hear the pain in her voice and words.
He was dumbfounded. "I was just…"
"Just what? Giving me what I wanted, playing along, hoping I'd be satisfied with you." She almost spat the final word.
"Ouch," thought the Doctor. That last one was just a little too close to home. He gently put his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes, trying to get her to understand, not sure if he did himself. "Rose, we never meant to hurt you. We wanted you to be happy. He thought I could make you happy, when he couldn't."
She shook him off, getting angrier. "Neither one of you asked me what I wanted. You both felt you knew what was best for me. Don't I get a say?"
"What did you want Rose?"
"I wanted him, I wanted to be with him, to be more than just another companion. I wanted to share his bed."
"That wasn't going to happen. He doesn't do that…"
"Yes, he does, he did with Reinette."
He should have known she would remember that. "Reinette, oh Reinette," he thought. His brother had no defenses when it came to her. Brilliant and beautiful, he was hers the moment she walked into his mind and took in all she could. His loneliness, his despair, his guilt, his joy. He'd tried to resist her charms, but it was a feeble effort at best. Reinette who had learned more about him in five minutes, than Rose had in more than two years. He shook himself out of the memory.
"That was an exceptional case."
"And I'm not? Aren't I an exceptional case? What do I get?"
"You were given me," thought the Doctor. "You were given my entire life, on the chance I could make you happy and you broke me and threw me away." He went over to the bed and sat down on it. Wishing he was anywhere but here, looking down at the carpet as he shook his head slowly, trying to think his way out of this. He knew self pity wasn't the answer. He looked up at her.
"What's your real question? What do you really want?"
"I want you to know just how much you hurt me. Then I want you to tell me why I should trust you."
He put his head in his hands and tried to figure out a response that wouldn't get him in further trouble. Somehow 'I'm sorry I slept with you' didn't seem like the right thing to say nor did 'I'm sorry I put on the brown suit when you told me too.' Well, there was the one subject. The one that had brought an end what little harmony they'd had. One which he avoided, as it was almost as painful to him, as it was to her.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you we couldn't have children. I would never have slept with you if I had known that is what you wanted. I could never know what it feels like, but it must have been terrible to have a life inside you, only to have it fail. Especially one you wanted so much." Where the words came from he didn't know, but he hoped they would help her heal, move on.
His hopes were dashed when he looked up at her face. There were tears, but they were tears of anger and frustration. "How dare you try to use my baby to manipulate me," she hissed slapping him hard across the face. The force of her blow knocked him into the nightstand, he put out an arm to steady himself connecting with the lamp, which shattered as it hit the floor. He quickly unplugged it before they had a fire on top of everything else. He checked the coral. It was still safe on the dresser, but very concerned that he'd been hurt. He closed his eyes and calmed it with his thoughts. "I'm fine, it was nothing, don't worry."
Everything else taken care of, he turned to Rose, prepared to duck if need be. Rose stared at the mess wide eyed, apparently shocked at what she had done. She then put her hand to her mouth and pointed at him, laughing so hard she could barely get the words out. "I can't believe the look on your face, it is priceless." She held her sides as she doubled over, unable to contain herself.
The Doctor watched her carefully. He almost asked 'Are you hormonal?', but Jackie had schooled him that no man should ask that question unless he wanted his next breath to be his last. Right now, he was pretty sure that wasn't hyperbole either. Instead he rubbed the side of his face and said. "I'm glad I could provide you with some entertainment." Rose laughed all the harder.
Feeling a bit abused, but glad the tension had eased, he continued. "Can we get back to the real topic at hand? Do you want me to help you or not? There really isn't a lot of time to waste. This last little exchange is probably going to cost me a day at least." He smiled to show he was kidding, when it fact he was not. When his body healed it took energy. The bruises he felt forming on his face, side and arm were going to cost him.
"Obviously, I want you to help. It's either that or I have no progress at all for two months. I just wanted to make sure you weren't doing this so you could get back into my bed."
"Rose, I haven't so much as knocked on your bedroom door or even tried to hold your hand. You've made your wishes clear in that area and I have respected them. Why do you think that would change now?"
"Because you're dying and you might not want to die alone."
He gave a short sad laugh. "Well, there's not much chance of that now, is there? I couldn't be alone if I tried. I leave Torchwood, you send agents after me. Pete has started hovering every time I take a step, afraid I am going to fall and your mother is so intent on curing me, I think she is going to be pouring that tea of hers down my throat three weeks after I am gone."
"So this isn't about you trying to get back in bed with me?"
"No, Rose, to be honest, my condition makes doing anything along those lines a pretty bad idea."
"Oh… I'm sorry… I didn't know." She chewed on the end of her hair, an uncomfortable expression on her face.
"It's alright, now is there anything else you are worried about?"
"Did you ever love me?"
He was spared having to answer by a knock at the door. "Hello, you decent in there?" It was Jackie.
"Yes, Jackie," the Doctor replied. "Come on in."
Jackie entered the room and saw the broken lamp on the floor. "What happened?"
"I just had a slight dizzy spell. I put my hand out for balance and broke the lamp. I'm sorry, I'll clean it up."
"Don't be silly. I'll send someone up here to take care of it. I just came up to tell you, it's almost time for supper." She looked at him, a frown on her face. "Do you want to take it here or in the dining room?"
The Doctor suddenly remembered he was still in his robe. "The dining room, just let me get dressed." He turned to Rose. "It's settled then, you want me to help you?"
Rose nodded.
"Good, then Ladies, if you'll give me a few minutes please?"
When they left the room, it was as if the air had been let out of a balloon. He surveyed the situation and realized the broken lamp and his bare feet was going to make getting dressed a bit problematic. He stretched out crosswise on the bed, his head hanging down over the side, as he searched beneath it. He found one, then two slippers, crammed in amongst the discarded books and journals. They weren't from the same pair, but that hardly mattered. Protection was what he was after, not style.
The mismatched slippers on his feet he went to his closet and pulled out the blue suit. He dressed quickly and was almost done when he heard another knock at the door. It was Pete.
"Come on in," called the Doctor as he sat on the bed putting on his shoes.
Pete entered and a surveyed the room his eyes resting on the shattered lamp.
"Come to survey the damage?" asked the Doctor.
"No, officially I am here to make sure you get downstairs without incident."
The Doctor looked up from tying his shoe. "And unofficially?"
"I'm to find out why Rose hit you."
"Who says she hit me?"
"That red hand-shaped mark on your face."
"Oh… that… I guess it would be a bit of a giveaway, wouldn't it? So, Jackie wasn't fooled by my lost balance story."
"Not for a second, mate. You want to tell me what really happened, so she doesn't keep me up all night speculating."
"I apologized for not telling Rose from the very beginning that we couldn't have children, and she took it as me trying to manipulate her."
"The apology or the not telling her in the first place."
The Doctor rubbed his cheek, wincing at the pain. "Now that you mention it, both, I think."
"Then you got off lucky, mate, you could have wound up like your friend there," Pete said indicating the lamp.
"For a second there, I was worried I might." Both shoes tied, the coral safely in his pocket, he put his feet on the floor, clapped his hands on his thighs and stood up, showing more vigor than he felt. "Well, shall we be off then? What's for supper, anything exciting?"
Pete just looked at him and grinned. "I'll let it be a surprise."
"Jackie been talking to her herbalist again?"
"What do you think?"
The Doctor grimaced. "Is it at least edible?"
"Should be. Oh, you should know, she overheard your crack about pouring tea down your throat after you died."
The Doctor covered his eyes with his hand and shook his head. "Please tell me you're kidding."
"Sorry, mate, how else would I know?"
The Doctor took his hand from his eyes, briefly pinching the bridge of his nose as he did so. This day was getting better and better. "Pete, do me a favor, when we get to the top of the stairs, just give me a great big shove. Will you?"