Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
I stopped in front of the small, but not too small house in the middle of the forest. I jumped out grabbing my bag and slammed the door shut. Yeah, I slammed it.
I walked up and unlocked the door walking in. I stopped in the door frame smelling the dinner cooking. Yum…
"Hey, Mom." I said as I walked into the small kitchen. She turned around and scowled.
"Don't call me 'mom'. I'm not your mother." I grinned. I'll just pretend she just said, 'hey honey, how was your day?' You know she's thinking it, deep down beneath all that fat. Well, she's really not that fat, but you know where I'm coming from!
"I'm good, what's for dinner?" She didn't change her expression.
"What does it look like? Stew. Dumb shit." I smiled. Wow, smells like someone got into the liquor cabinet. Bad girl.
"Okay, I'll be up in my room, mom." I skipped to the stairs and started half running, half skipping up them. I heard her yell faintly from below.
"I SAID DON'T CALL ME 'MOM' YOU LITTLE F-" I slammed my door shut before I could hear her finish that sentence, not like it matters. She says the same exact thing every time. Oh, and maybe I should explain. She's actually my step-mom, and my dad's pathetic attempt at a replacement. Let's just say she didn't do all that good of a job raising me. But, whatever, I'm not crying over it.
I grinned and plopped down on my bed. I rolled over and grabbed my guitar plugging it in and cranking up the speakers. It was okay; my dad sound proofed my room, so no one could hear anything coming from it. It was another compensation gift. But, what the hell, I have a freaking sound proofed room! You know how useful that can be? Extremely!
I grinned wider as I played a few cords. Then I slammed down on the strings and started singing.
"Well it rains and it pours. When you're out on your own. If I crash on the couch can I sleep in my clothes? 'Cause I've spent the night dancing. I'm drunk, I suppose. If it looks like I'm laughing I'm really just asking to leave."
I took a deep breath, damn I love singing and playing.
"This alone, you're in time for the show. You're the one that I need. I'm the one that you loathe. You can watch me corrode like a beast in repose. 'Cause I love all the poison. Away with the boys in the band."
I jumped up on my bed then and started dancing like a crazy person.
"I've been on a bender and it shows. So why don't you blow me a kiss before she goes?"
I was jumping up and down, head banging and screaming. I don't know if the sound proof room really keeps this out, but let's hope so.
"Give me a shot to remember. And you can take all the pain away from me. A kiss and I will surrender. The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead."
I hit the speaker dial, making it go up even louder; hey did dad sound proof the window too? Oh, well, too late now.
"A light to burn all the empires. So bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be. In love with all of these vampires. So you can leave like the sane abandoned me."
I took a deep breath and stopped jumping to just stand in the middle of my room ginning like the crazy person I am and screaming, raspy, while pointing my head towards the ceiling.
"There's a place in the dark where the animals go. You can take off your skin in the cannibal glow. Juliet loves a beat and the lust it commands. Drop the dagger and lather the blood on your hands Romeo."
Wow, they could be singing this to our lovely Twilight couple! And I love this song. Rock on!
"I've really been on a bender and it shows, So why don't you blow me a kiss before she goes? Give me a shot to remember. And you can take all the pain away from me. A kiss and I will surrender. The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead."
"A light to burn all the empires. So bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be. In love with all of these vampires. So you can leave like the sane abandoned me."
I hit the guitar solo. Hardcore.
I was screaming again, but letting the song die down a little, because it was ending.
"Give me a shot to remember. And you can take all the pain away from me. A kiss and I will surrender. The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead. A light to burn all the empires. So bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be. In love with all of these vampires. So you can leave like the sane abandoned me."
I just screamed and made those weird noises at the end of the song, then let the beat drop out.
I sighed and fell back on my bed. That was fun. I love my guitar.
Then I heard something that sounded suspiciously like clapping coming from the window. Huh? I jumped off my bed and walked over to the window and wrenched it open. Wow, old window.
I leaned over and peered over into the darkness, squinting. Hello, I can't see anything in the dark. I don't have those cool infa-red shenanigans that ninjas have. Or do they…hmm…
I heard someone laugh from down below. WTF?! Do I have a peeping tom?! Already?! It's been one day!
My eyes widened and then finally my eyes adjusted a little to the darkness and I saw who was standing at the bottom of my window grinning up at me. Emmett.
"WHAT THE FUCK, EMMETT?!" He laughed again, and then I saw someone come up behind him and hit him on the back of his head.
"Ow!" I chuckled. That was pretty funny. Wait, who was that? I squinted harder. I head Emmett chuckled again.
"What?" I could see the little outline of a grin on his face.
"You look really funny squinting like that." I grinned back at him. Emmett can always cheer me up. And I've only known him for one day!
"Yeah, well, you just look funny." He snorted.
"Good come-back." I shrugged my shoulders, still grinning.
"That's all I had." He snorted again. Then the other person cleared their throat, trying to get our attention.
"Hi…?" I left it open hoping them to fill in their name. Then they turned up their head, and I couldn't hold in a little gasp. That must have sounded stupid. I gasped. Wow.
Anyway, it was Rosalie. I was surprised! Wow! There, that's the proper enthusiasm!
I really don't know what she's doing here. Why would Rosalie want to be here? With me? Hmm…maybe, no. Hmm…or, no. Hmm…I've got nothing. Only one way to find out.
"HEY, ROSALIE!" Her eyes narrowed slightly.
"Shh. I can hear just fine, thanks." I grinned. She sighed. "What do you want?"
"Why are you here?" She rolled her eyes.
"Why do you think?" I shrugged. Was that a trick question? Am I supposed to know why strange vampires show up at my house at night and listen to me play guitar? It's not like this happens to me all the time. I don't think that would be something I would easily forget.
She sighed, "Can we come up there?" What? Did Rosalie just ask to enter my room? That's a little more than strange behavior. Right? I'm not going crazy here, am I? I nodded slowly. It's not like I can stop her. She's a freaking vampire!
I backed away from the window and I guess she and Emmett scaled wall and suddenly they were standing in my room. Cool.
I ginned at them.
"That was fucking awesome." Emmett laughed a booming laugh. Rosalie hit him on the back of his head and he stopped.
"Shut up, Emmett. Her parents can hear." She hissed.
"Oops, sorry." I grinned at Emmett and shook my head.
"Nope, I've got my room sound proofed." They raised their eyebrows. Huh. They do that simultaneously just like Edward and Bella. Is that how we're supposed to know if we found our other half now? If you can raise your eyebrows simultaneously then you are meant for each other! Uh…I don't think that's true. I mean, I was in drama club when we lived in Florida, and I was messing around with this guy and were trying to raise our eyebrows simultaneously. We did it. But I don't think we're meant for each other. He's kind of gay. Well, actually he's all the way gay. He even designed the costumes and wouldn't stop gushing about how fabulous they looked. But they were pretty fabulous, if I do say so myself.
Emmett grinned at me.
"That's cool." I nodded at him.
"I know." Emmett and I were ginning at each other like idiots and Rosalie finally sighed and shook her head. I could see in my peripheral.
"Okay, I think we've established that her room is sound proof, and that's cool. Can we move on?" I turned to her and stuck out my tongue. She raised one eyebrow.
"Did you just stick your tongue out at me?" I nodded with my tongue still sticking out (Emmett was trying to hold in his guffaws). She rolled her eyes at me. "You're extremely immature." I smiled around my tongue.
"You're just jealous." But it sounded more like 'door dust delous." This sounded stupid so Emmett bust out laughing. I put my tongue back into my mouth so I wouldn't bite it off when I started laughing too. Rosalie was just standing there. I guess she's not one for immature jokes. Whatever, Rose. If I wasn't incapacitated by laughing I would be snapping in z-formation. He, he, can't you just see that?
"Anyway…" Rosalie not so subtly pointed out that we were ignoring her. I immediately stopped laughing, showing off my superior bipolar skills. Emmett stopped soon too and was staring at me. What did I do now?!
"What did I do now?!" Yeah, I just repeated my thoughts. Think before you speak and all that jazz. He, he, Jazz.
"You stopped laughing like Jazz is controlling you, that's impressive." I grinned. Score, I impressed a vampire. Somehow, I think that's kind of difficult.
Rosalie sighed again. I looked at her.
"Hey, Rose - may I call you 'Rose'?"
"No."
"Okay, Rose. You need to lighten up. You don't see me walking around all grumpy, do you?" She raised her eyebrows at me. She should just tape them up there. She's raises them more than she lets them just stay down.
"I seem to remember a certain someone who suffers from chronic depression." I cringed. Then I shook my head. Nu-uh. She's not pulling that card on me.
"Well, I seem to remember a certain someone who waited two years before she opened up to her sister, and then only because said sister provided her with a niece." I raised my eyebrows at her. That was probably one of the worst impressions of Rosalie, but it's all I've got. She shook her head, and started looking solemn. Isn't that what I just said she shouldn't do? Yes! I think it is.
"That's why I'm here, Ella - may I call you 'Ella'?" I grinned and rolled my eyes.
"Well, I don't know, but I think that's my name. I'll check up on that, though, and let you know in three to six weeks." She snorted.
"Three to six weeks?" I nodded.
"These things take time." She rolled her eyes.
"You could be a vampire by then." Say what?! Vampire? Me?! Me? Vampire?!
"Blondie vamp said what?!" Rosalie rolled her eyes again.
"It's a figure of speech."
"Where? In the secret underground city of Ways to Freak out a Human in Ten Words or Less? 'Cause I honestly don't really want to go there." Emmett chuckled in his quiet little corner. Wait, why is Emmett standing in my corner, and quietly? I raised one plucked eyebrow. (I said that because people always say 'raised one perfectly sculpted' or 'raised one waxed eyebrow', well I don't have the cash to wax my 'brows, and I seriously doubt that my eyebrows are 'perfectly sculpted'. I don't know about you, but I don't think plucking my 'brows with a tweezers in front of a bathroom mirror makes me a professional eyebrow plucker. Is that even a profession? If it is I really need to up-my-game if I want to get that good. And ohmygod this is a long excerpt to put between parentheses!)
"Emmett? What did you do?" I said really slowly, like I thought he would explode or something if I said it any faster. He grinned sheepishly, not a good sign.
"Well…"
"Just spit it out, Emmett!" He winced a little (probably faking it) and his grin became even more sheepish. Is that possible?
"I kind of found your diary." My eyes popped open. He found my diary? I have a diary? When did I write that? Um…oh, yeah. Now I remember. I sighed.
"Oh, that diary is from junior-high." I waved it off. But Emmett kept his sheepish look. Uh-oh. There's more. "What else, Emmett?"
"Uh, well, I sort of, um, maybe, kind of-"
"Spill!" He sighed.
"I read some." Oh. Well. I guess he violated my privacy, but it depends on what he read.
"What part did you read?" He grinned (not so sheepishly) and handed me the black book with it open to said page.
I gave him a look like 'you better pray this isn't bad' and then read the page.
August 15, 2004
Damn, it happened again. I didn't want to come, but he insisted. Why? I do not know. Why does he bother anyway? Who really knows? I guess he must be even more wasted than I thought. I mean, he smelled like the shit he is. I shouldn't even show up, but I just keep doing it anyway. I'm just a dunce, I embrace it. Whatever. I'll live…I hope.
I looked up at Emmett, my eyes wide. Oh, crap. He read this? I'm screwed. He was grinning. Did he think this meant something else? What the hell?
"Emmett, did you read the August fifteenth entry?" He got a confused look on his face.
"No…I read the one from August tenth. Why? What's on August fifteenth?" I shook my head vigorously. Nu-uh, no way am I showing him that now. But, phew, he didn't read that. Wait, so what's so funny. I looked back at the book (but the opposite page).
August 10, 2004
Thank God. It finally happened. I thought he'd never make a move. The prude finally kissed me. I was getting worried he'd wait until high school. I'm aging here! But, yeah. I got my first kiss. It took until I was thirteen and in the seventh grade, but whatever, he kissed me. There was no tongue action, but that's kind of sweet. No need to get all slimy for the first time. He was actually really nice about it, he asked and everything. Damn, I hope no one will ever read this. I would die of embarrassment. Okay, peace out diary. Whoa, I'm so not writing that again. I feel like I'm talking to an inanimate object. No cool.
I chuckled. Yeah, I guess that is pretty funny. But Emmett missed the five other entries on that page. Thank God he didn't notice how the date thing went on for the next couple of days. He wasn't so sweet or nice after that. And I'm all over that slimy thing, really didn't want to go there with that guy.
I rolled my eyes at Emmett's eager expression, and laughed.
"Yeah, okay, so it was pretty funny." He snorted.
"Hell yeah! Looks like our little Ella isn't as innocent as she makes herself out to be." I rolled my eyes again.
"Emmett, it was just a kiss. It's not like I fucked him on the first date. One kiss in the seventh grade doesn't really take away my 'innocence'." He waved off my negativity. Why is it negativity? Does he want me to be a baby prostitute or something? Got to say, I'm not really all for that. Well, that depends on how much I'm making. Okay, okay, just kidding. Or am I? (raises eyebrows suggestively) wink, wink.
"Virgo you might be, but you have potential." I snorted and turned to Rosalie who was shaking her head disbelievingly at her husband.
"Rose, I think your husband wants me to be more loose with my goods." She turned to me with her mouth hanging open and her eyes bulging out. What?
"Did you just say 'loose with my goods'?" Why is she asking? She can hear just fine. Actually she has super special vampire hearing crazy powers. Wow, that was a jumbled sentence.
"Um, yes?" She shook her head slowly. Why so amazed Miss Rosalie? Hmm…or is she Mrs. Rosalie? Hmm…
"Are you sure you weren't born in then fifties?" Ah, so that's what she's getting at.
"Well, I'm not totally positive. But that's what my mommy tells me." I said it in a really annoyingly kiddy voice. She rolled her golden eyes. I wonder what her eyes looked like before she was turned. Oh, wasn't that mentioned? Yeah, they were blue. What about Carlisle's eyes? Or Alice's? Never mentioned.
"Hmm…" Rosalie gave me a confused look. What?
"What was that sound you just made?" I made a sound? Oops, I said that aloud. Oh, well, I'm going to play this off like I totally meant to do that. Even though I didn't and it's really obvious.
"That, my friend, is the universal sound of pondering." She raised her eyebrows again.
"Pondering?" I nodded.
"Sí, señora." She raised her eyebrows even higher. She should be careful or those eyebrows are going to make their escape off her face. That would be a funny picture. Ah! The eyebrows are escaping! The eyebrows are escaping! Catch them, catch them!
"Is there a particular reason you just switched to Spanish?" I shook my head.
"Ninguna razón."
"Okay…" She looked like she was questioning my sanity. (Which she probably was) I grinned.
"So why were you making the universal sound of pondering?" I shrugged.
"I was pondering something, duh." She shook her head and rolled her eyes. Quite an achievement.
"What is it that you were pondering?" I shrugged again.
"What color were Carlisle and Alice's eyes before they were changed? Or Emmett's and Esme's? I only know yours and Edward's. Oh, and obviously Bella's." I rolled my eyes for no particular reason. Hey, rolling your eyes is the new thing. All the cool kids are doing it. It's like jumping off a cliff, but better.
"Why is it obvious to know what color Bella's eyes were?"
"Because the part of her life that I know, she was human, and anyway, Renesmee has her eyes." She stared at me for a second then shook her head.
"Okay. But why do you know what color mine and Edward's eyes were?" I shrugged.
"You told Bella, and Carlisle told Bella. The book was from Bella's point of view, so whatever you told her, I know now." I shrugged again. Completely blasé. She nodded and shrugged. I sucked in a big breath. She gave me a curious look, and then I launched into my topic.
"Soyounevertoldmewhyyou'rehereandI'mwonderingsospill!" Phew. Who knew I could say that so damn fast. I guess I didn't lose my fast talking skills. Sweet. Rosalie looked like she caught what I said.
"So you never told me why you're here and I'm wondering so spill." Emmett mumbled, repeating what I said. Why does he need to? He's a frigging vampire! And have you realized how many different ways there are to say 'fuck', there's fucking, frigging, fricking, freaking, fudging, and hacking. I honestly have no idea how anyone came up with that last one though. But, whatever, it's my favorite. It's hacking awesome!
Rosalie sighed exuberantly. Really, why do vampires bother sighing? They don't need to breathe! But I guess being without a sense of smell would be annoying. No flowery smells! Or coffee! I love my coffee. Yum…
"I'm here because it looks like you just might become one of us someday." Whoa! Can you say 'unexpected'? I can! "And I don't want this to be like I was with Bella." then she narrowed her eyes at me, "But that is assuming that you won't be begging to be changed. This is just a…precaution, if you will. And it's mostly because I feel like there's something inside of you that makes you more like us. Your freakish breakdown makes me think we might just end up having something in common." She took another deep breath, "Really, I just wanted to let you know that I don't…" she made a face before continuing, "hate you." She made another face as though she was smelling something really bad. Like my brother's gym socks. Or his car that time that he left a banana in the back seat for a month. Ugh.
Rosalie straightened up and pointed a finger in my face, "But don't think that I'm all that fond of you either. Remember, just a precaution." I shrugged. Whatever she needed to get off her chest. It's not like she's going to need that precaution. Why would they change me? It's not like I'm all that special. I just know everything there is to know about them. Muah, ha, ha, ha, ha! (evil laughter) I am so evil, I know.
"Whatever, Rose. And besides it's not like you have anything to be jealous of." I shrugged again. She shrugged too. (it didn't make it past me that she didn't oppose my comment) I grinned, she frowned. Come on, Rose!
"So…" I grinned suggestively and raised my eyebrows while pulling out the word, "Does that make you my buddy?" She looked at me for a second before busting out laughing.
"You wish, kid." She gave one more giggle then turned to the window. Poo. Like Winnie the Pooh! Ah, I loved that show. And the Tigger Movie, that was cute. That honey loving yellow bear was so hacking awesome. (I used 'hacking'! He, he!)
Oh, back to reality. Rose turned around and glared at Emmett…who was flipping through my diary.
"Emmett! What the Hell?!" He looked up shocked at being caught in the act. "Why are you still reading that?!" He grinned sheepishly at me. I rolled my eyes and snatched it out of his hand. Obviously he let me. I'm no superman. Or superwoman. Hey, don't you think she would get a wedgie from doing all those flips in a freaking leotard? I don't know about you, but I know I'd be a little more than uncomfortable.
Emmett put his head down, feigning ashamed. I snorted.
"Emmett, I don't really care all that much." He looked back up with a grin on his face.
"Good!" I grinned back. Who could be mad at Emmett?
"Come on, Emmett." Rose snapped. Shouldn't she be nicer to her husband? Eh, you know what? Forget it.
Emmett grinned at Rose and sprinted to the window giving me a heart attack (figuratively).
"Holy shit! What was that for?" Rose rolled her eyes.
"You could still see him, he was barely going fast." I gave her a 'shut the fuck up' look. She rolled her eyes again and just stepped out the window. Damn, only Rosalie could make stepping out a window look cool. Actually, anyone could make jumping out a window look cool. You're jumping out a freaking window!
I looked out the window. They were already out of sight.
Wow. That was weird and unexpected. I shook my head slowly and walked over to my bed. I sank into my pillows. Sigh. I love pillows. They're so soft. I'd write I utterly random poem about pillows, but that didn't turn out so well the last time. But that might have something to do with the fact that I kind of, well, might have been a little more than tipsy.
I flipped over and dug my face into the pillows and closed my eyes. I'm so tired. So…tired…
"Become so tired so much more aware" I whispered into my pillow. I always sing myself to sleep. And this just happens to be the song I always sing. I whisper so quietly no one else can hear it, I can barely hear it. And I'm as close as it gets!
"I'm becoming this all I want to do. Is be more like me and be less like you" That was the chorus. I could tell you it had nothing to do with me, but I'd be lying. I got even quieter for the next part.
"And I know. I may end up failing too." I kind of hated that line but, I've been singing this song before bed for years, so I've got to sing it.
"But I know…" It was an almost silent sigh. Then I breathed in deeply, almost unconscious before I said the last line of the little excerpt I always sing before bed. Other kids get milk and cookies before bed, I sing this song. Hey, everyone's different. I'm just stranger than most. J
"You were just like me with someone disappointed in you…" I trailed off into unconsciousness. My last thought was: damn, I forgot the chocolate.
Yay pillows! They make the world go 'round! You know, I say a lot of things make the world go 'round, but isn't it just the sun's gravity? Hmm…I would ponder this further, but I have pillows to sleep on!
Go pillows! They're like marshmallows, just not eatable!
Thanks to all my reviewers, and I hope this satisfied your funny bones more than the previous chapters. And just as a little clue of it's significance, someone might just show up in future chapters. *hint, hint*
Also, tell me what you thought of the movie. Personally, I didn't think it was all that great, but I was still laughing my ass off most of the time. Like, did anyone see Jasper dancing in the backround when Edward was trying not to kill Bella in the ballet studio? God, that was funny.
If you don't feel like giving me the play-by-play on your thoughts I've got a poll up you can vote for. I look at it sometimes, so whatever to that.
The first song was The Sharpest Lives by My Chemical Romance, the second was Numb by Linkin Park. The song last chapter was Photograph by Nickleback.
R&R
E.