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So this chapter will be about Bella and Jake's meeting.

The drive took only a few minutes after Edward had left. I caught myself thinking about him, missing him, but I quickly put away the thought. Jacob, I was going to spend time with Jacob now, I could think about Edward as much as I wanted later.

Though I couldn't help brooding more about Edward's possible jealousy, was it really true that the only reason of him keeping me from La Push was that he was jealous about Jake? It seemed so absurd in my ears; it didn't seem like Edward at all.

I parked the truck a few feet in front of Billy and Jacob's house. I felt a bit nervous as I went the short distance to the door. It was slightly open, so I decided to go in – someone was probably home. I turned out to be right.

Before I had a chance to greet the possible inhabitants with a "hello", I saw Jake's huge body resting on the couch. He was snoring, very loudly.

I smiled, and decided to keep quiet; I didn't want to wake him. He looked so peaceful, lying there, like a baby. His face was so smooth and calm, I almost wanted to reach out and touch it. The troubled wrinkle on his forehead was gone – he looked so much younger. He looked more like the Jacob I loved, not the worried one he had turned out to be.

I sighed. Why did it have to be so complicated? Why did he have to be a werewolf? Everything would have been so much easier for us then, we could meet without any problems. Edward didn't have to be afraid of me getting hurt (and he might not be jealous too).

The couch looked very inviting, so I carefully pushed his legs away and sat down. In that moment, he muttered something, turned around, and slowly opened his eyes.

At first, it looked as if he didn't understand what was happening. He yawned and stretched his arms out, before he noticed my presence.

"Bella?" he asked, confused. "Bella!" His tone was happier when he realized that I was actually there with him.

"Hi," I greeted him.

He sat up abruptly from his lying position and wrapped his huge arms around me in a hug.

"Bella, I've missed you," he whispered without letting me go from the embrace. "I didn't think the bloodsucker would let you go."

He pulled away and looked into my eyes.

"I convinced him," I said happily, he smiled.

"When did you come here? How long have I been sleeping? I can't believe that I waste my time on sleeping when you're here." He shook his head, and looked at me again. "I'm sorry." He smiled apologetically.

"No, no," I said, "Jake, it's cool. I didn't want to wake you up. You look very peaceful when you sleep, you look like a baby."

He laughed silently. "A baby, you say."

"Yup, you do."

He laughed again. "How long have you been here?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Not very long. Two minutes? I don't know."

"Okay, that's good. I'm sorry you had to watch me sleep, I just… Well, I'm a bit tired," he said, after the statement followed a loud yawn. "Victoria doesn't sleep, so… Well, we chase her at night too…"

"Well, um, you won't have to anymore." I started. "The Cullens said that they would take over from here…" I was careful not to talk about it too eagerly; I still wasn't sure about how Jake was feeling about their return.

He snorted; I didn't like the way he reacted. "Yeah, right, as if they could do a better job than us."

I sat quiet after his answer, unsure on what to say. An embarrassing silence filled the room; it was so thick that you almost could touch it.

I didn't know which side I chose, vampires or werewolves. I didn't agree, nor did I protest, on his statement. The Cullens were my family, but Jake was my best friend. I loved both sides, if sides even existed.

We were both uncomfortable, and I didn't consider breaking the silence, Jake did it.

"What do you feel like doing?" he asked happily, and then added quieter to himself: "I'm such an idiot, I shouldn't waste the time I have with you, who knows when he'll let me see you again?"

Again, I sat quiet. After all, what was I supposed to answer?

He repeated the question of what I wanted to do.

"Um, I don't know," I said hesitantly. "Your choice…"

"A walk?"

"You know what, I'm really tired of walks." My reply surprised me, but I then saw that it was nothing but the truth; I was tired of walks. It had become an irritating habit in my life, probably because I was out on better things to do.

"Huh, tired of walks…" Jake answered silently. "Wanna hang out in the garage?"

That sounded like a much better idea, it was one of the things I had missed very much. "Sounds awesome," I said. "Great!"

He smiled. It was one of those smiles that belonged to my Jacob, my lovely Jacob. His serious gaze was gone with the wind that moment; it was only he and the perfect white teeth. My heart fluttered in my chest, but I ignored it angrily. What was happening?

I sighed, why did it have to be so complicated?

I saw how he eyed me when I stepped outside the door, and I didn't like his gaze. It reminded me about how Edward watched me, as if I was a prize, as if I was something beautiful to rest the eyes on. I didn't like that Jake looked at me that way, it repelled, it didn't feel right. That's why I did my best to ignore the look he had on his face. I kept my gaze shyly on the ground as we walked the short distance to his garage.

It was a short walk, but Jake still yawned when we got to the garage.

"Are you tired?" I asked him when we got to the garage. "It wasn't a long walk."

"No, it's not that… It's just that I've slept three hours this night… Let's just say it's kinda exhausting, it's not something I would recommend. I'm sorry, but I'm really tired." He yawned again, a bit louder this time.

I felt sorry for him, I didn't want him to chase Victoria if this was the result, he shouldn't be tired. Maybe it was best if I just left, I would let him sleep peacefully in the state that I'd found him, it would be best for him, for Jacob.

"Maybe I should leave," I started hesitantly as he pulled the huge doors of the garage open. "It's probably the best for you, you should sleep Jake."

He replied instantly. "No, no, it's cool Bells," he protested. "I'm fine, just a bit tired…" He was interrupted by a loud yawn.

I sighed at his stubbornness, but decided to not give the idea another try.

"So, do you still have your bike?" I asked, in lack of other things to ask.

"Yup," he answered in a long inhale. "Gonna try to speed up the engine a bit, if you don't mind," he added and smiled at me. "You cool?"

"Sure," I shrugged my shoulders. "Sounds good."

He started fixing with the black bike I'd given to him, and I sat down on the floor beside him. No one uttered a word, but sometimes he would shift his gaze and meet my eyes with a smile. I could feel how my heart again took up the pace as he looked deeply into my eyes, but I did my best to ignore it. It was nothing, nothing compared to what Edward did to me. This was just a small indication of something… something unknown, something unexplored…

"So, where's Billy?" I asked casually.

"At Sue's, Charlie picked him up this morning. Guess he doesn't know that the bloodsucker is babysitting you nowadays."

I flinched; I still didn't like the way he talked about them, as if they were something bad, he was wrong.

I ignored the question and continued instead.

"I feel so sorry for her… I didn't know Harry that much, but still."

He nodded seriously. "I agree, it's really too bad, Harry was such a nice man. Poor Sue, and Seth, and Leah… I've been there a couple of times, it was… Well… But hey, let's talk about something else. How's school? Like, are they back to invading Forks High School now as before, or what?"

"Who?" I asked without thinking.

"The Cullens," he spit out the last word.

"Oh, well, I've had spring break this week."

"Oh, right, forgot." He smiled apologetically. "So none of the kids know that the bloodsuckers're back?"

"If that's what you call it," I whispered silently. Why did he have to talk about them with so much hatred? I loved them.

He saw how his statement made me sad, and quickly continued:

"Hey Bells, I'm sorry. It's just that… It's just that… Well, it's hard to see you with him like that again. And I'm so happy that you're here," he smiled widely, "but it doesn't make things different. I – it's just so hard. And, I saw you… do you know?"

I sighed. "Edward mentioned something similar yes." I met his gaze. "Outside our house that day?" I whispered. "I'm sorry Jake, I didn't know."

"Well, it's cool I guess. Kinda hard to watch, but still, very intense…" He chuckled. "I'm sorry Bella, but I have to tell you." He paused. "I love you. I really do, for real."

I already knew what he was telling me, but I still inhaled loudly as if I was in shock.

"I'm sorry." He smiled.

"Don't be." I looked down on my feet. "You can't do anything about it, I know how it feels. It can be excruciating."

He sighed and went back to fixing the engine. "It's not just a crush, I know it, it's real, pure. I've never felt this way before…" he trailed off.

And that's what made me realize, those poundings in my heart wasn't imagination, I was in love with Jacob too. I loved Jacob. Not as much as I loved or needed Edward, but I loved him.

The truth hit me like a rocket, it had seemed to be such a far-fetched solution, but I instantly knew that it was true. Tears slowly found their way down my cheeks, and for no actual reason.

"What's wrong Bella?" Jake asked anxiously. "Bella, Bells are you crying?"

I laughed silently between my sobs. "Yes," I answered simply. "It looks like it."

"Why?" He rose from his lying position and wrapped his big muscular arms around me. "Tell me," he whispered.

"Because I love you too, Jake. I just haven't realized it. I… I love you Jake."

He pulled away and looked at me as if to see if I really was speaking the truth. And I was – how could he doubt me?

Before I had a chance to react, his lips were on mine. I didn't object, it felt so good. It was even better than that day on the cliff, this was something different – it wasn't just a kiss of sympathy, I meant it.

I instantly loosened my grip around his neck and pulled away, and after a too short time, because it wasn't right. My heart belonged to Edward, and it always would.

I found it quite difficult to let go of Jake though – he was so strong. It was impossible; each time I tried to pull away he wrapped his arms in a stronger grip around my torso. I stopped kissing him, and he saw that something was wrong.

"What?" he whispered.

"Jake, you know I can't."

"Of course you can! Don't say that, your life isn't only about him Bells. You have other friends; you have a life without him. Don't act as if you haven't, you know it's true."

I sighed, he was true, but it was wrong. I couldn't kiss him, I couldn't. Even though I wanted it just as bad as him, I'd given my heart to another.

"I can't, Jake." My gaze shifted to the floor.

He sighed. "I see."

I looked up. "I'm sorry, Jake…"

He smiled weakly. "It's okay, Bells. I'll be fine." I didn't believe the last sentence – I knew that he wouldn't be.

I watched him as he continued his work; another silence had fallen over the room. The quietness made me consider my options, was it possible for me to live a life with both Edward and Jacob? And was I willing to give one of them up? The first question; no, it was impossible. It hurt to know the answer, a life without one of them would be hard. I was willing to give one of them up, but it wouldn't be pain free. I couldn't imagine a life without Edward – it didn't work. That was why Jacob's and mine relationship was without a future.

I gave the boy I loved a pleading look from where I sat – he didn't notice it.

Guilt crawled out from the shadows, and took a firm grip around me. What had I done? I had kissed Jacob, it was unforgivable. How could I do such a thing, how could I be so terrible? How would I tell Edward? He would be so hurt; I knew how much he despised Jacob… And what if Edward would hurt Jacob? I couldn't let such a thing happen. I knew how much I would hurt Edward; it stung in my chest as I imagined the look he would get on his face when I told him.

I sighed and asked myself again, what had I done?