Written by McIzzieFan and Adia Rose
Sprinting outside Ronnie came to a sudden halt when she failed to spot Stacey anywhere, panicking and silently cursing Jack before she spotted a flash of blonde hair. Chasing after Stacey, Ronnie watched the way she wandered aimlessly completely oblivious to anyone or anything, people didn't even seem to exist in Stacey's world. Stumbling off the curb almost falling again Stacey failed to register a thing. Finally catching up Ronnie pulled Stacey safely up onto the path, gripping onto her arm a little too tight Stacey simply looked confused.
"Hey Stacey, come on I thought you and me were going to see that new doctor. Hear he's quite the looker" Ronnie smiled, trying to sound as casual and friendly as she could but even she could sense how false she sounded. "I'm fine" Stacey insisted breaking away from Ronnie's grip "go back home to your boyfriend, and you can tell him I can pay for my own drinks I've got plenty of money, I'm fine... Look! Will you just look?!" Stacey demanded shoving her purse in Ronnie's face, coins spilling out all over the pavement. Ronnie could see that people were looking so pulled Stacey away from the stares. Finally sitting Stacey down, Ronnie tried to figure out what she'd do next. What would she do if it was Danielle sitting here like this?
Ronnie couldn't even find words, but she was just so determined not to let Stacey down. For her daughter she would have done anything and that included refusing to give up on Danielle's best friend when she needed help the most. But she could see that Stacey wasn't going to go to the doctors today, she'd come so close but Jack had destroyed all of that with just a few misplaced words. No the best thing Ronnie could do was take Stacey home and try again another day, at least home and safe Stacey wouldn't be wandering about, constantly in danger of hurting herself.
Walking with her to the Slater's Ronnie couldn't help but wonder how Danielle would feel watching this. Would she be happy with Ronnie for stepping in and helping out? Would she be able to cope with whatever was happening to Stacey? Would Stacey even be in this state if Danielle hadn't died that night? So many questions and no answers, like the cruelest of games messing with her mind.
"Stacey!" Jean called from the front door before they'd even reached it, she was hovering in the doorway looking nervous. Even more so when she saw Ronnie was with Stacey, Jean felt intimidated by people at the best of times but Ronnie Mitchell was definitely someone who scared her. Stacey didn't even acknowledge her mothers presence, simply barged past into the house, straight up the stairs. Jean smiled awkwardly at Ronnie who wasn't quite sure what to say or do now. "Well thanks for bringing her home" Jean rushed trying to shut the door.
"Jean," Ronnie stopped her, placing a hand on the door to stop Jean from being able to shut her out "Something's not right." Ronnie sighed not sure if Jean had any idea or whether she was completely oblivious.
"Everything's fine" Jean lied, hiding herself further and further behind the door, she couldn't even look at Ronnie. "I think Stacey's ill Jean... I think she's..." Ronnie began before being cut off by a now angry looking Jean. "I don't need people telling me about my daughter, now please leave" Jean snapped slamming the door behind her. Ronnie could only watch as she saw the figure on the other side of the glass slide down the side of the door as Jean collapsed into a heap of tears. Ronnie watched, seeing another mother completely helpless, she knew she wasn't alone, but it wasn't a comforting feeling it was terrifying.
Ronnie walked home slowly, it wasn't as if she even wanted to face Jack after the way he'd behaved before but at the same time she needed someone just to hold her and tell her everything was going to be ok. Finally finding the energy to go inside and talk to Jack, Ronnie walked in. Jack was stood in the kitchen stirring a steaming cup of coffee the strong smell made Ronnie gag... A hopeful sign? Ronnie felt a bubble of excitement rise within her, quashing some of the fears and troubles plaguing her.
When Jack spotted Ronnie he tried to figure her out, figure out exactly when she'd become best mates with Stacey Slater but she was giving nothing away. Simply making her way to the kitchen Ronnie stood behind Jack slipping her arms around his waist and pulling him tight, her head leaning against his strong back she took comfort in the warmth.
"Sorry about before, didn't mean to just run out of here," Ronnie whispered, running her hands along Jack's chest, he was surprised at the change in her mood. "I don't get it Ron, what was she doing here?" Jack asked. Ronnie tried to fight the annoyance that that comment inspired, the desire to bite his head off was strong but her desire to have a baby was stronger and with that goal in mind she was always able to steady her nerve. "Stacey was just a bit upset... Leave it Jack I can deal with it" Ronnie forced a smile as she pulled away from Jack, wandering over towards the tap to get herself a glass of water. "I just don't get it, you and Stacey don't talk, you only argue and now you're what defending her? Looking after her? I can't help but be confused" Jack sighed rubbing his head. He was angry that once again someone was more important to Ronnie than him. First it was Danielle, not even Danielle, just her memory was taking places in Ronnie's heart and mind that should be his. But now Stacey Slater, he fought down the urge to tell Ronnie how pathetic she was being, clinging to any teenage girl just to appease her own guilt.
"Stacey and I have a common link..." Ronnie trailed, though she wouldn't say Danielle's name she hoped the suggestion of it would be enough to get Jack to back off and true to form he did, dropping the subject immediately to prevent any kind of emotional outburst. Walking off towards the bedroom Ronnie couldn't control letting one little snipe escape from her mouth "Oh and Jack... For future reference I'm perfectly capable of talking for myself" accompanying it with a small cute smile to take the edge off.
Locking herself in the bathroom, Ronnie walked over to the sink splashing cold water on her face. She had absolutely no idea what to do about Stacey, Jean wasn't going to be a help that was obvious she was clearly in denial just as Stacey was. Ronnie asked herself whether she really wanted to get involved, she was barely in control of her own problems never mind the problems of a fragile young girl. As all these thoughts swirled round her head she was barely conscious of anything in reality.
"You finished in there?" Jack called knocking slightly on the door. "Just need a wee!" Ronnie replied letting out a small laugh when in fact she was annoyed that Jack couldn't even give her five minutes alone. Ranting in her head she only stopped when she saw it... The spots of blood in her underwear that told her one thing, that she'd failed. She stared at the red marks. The droplets of blood having spread on the cotton, the edges misshapen, each spot like a poppy, a rose, a remembrance of what wasn't.
Another month had passed and here was her period, taunting her as more time passed without her getting pregnant. She'd been so sure, so sure that this was her month, that now staring at her failure all she wanted to do was burst into tears. It took every single ounce of strength she had to pull herself together, repeating the comforting mantra of 'next month will be the month, next month...'
Brushing her stomach with her hand Ronnie had to swallow hard to try and prevent completely breaking down, smacking her fist into her stomach she couldn't stand the thought of more time passing without her baby. She felt utterly useless, was there anything she could do right? Adjusting her make-up in the mirror, Ronnie tried to fix herself, tried to make everything appear normal so that when she exited the bathroom and threw her arms lovingly round Jack he wouldn't think a single thing was out of place.
"I love you Jack Branning" Ronnie announced the second she saw him, grabbing hold of him he was almost surprised by the ferocity of her affection but not disappointed because it simply confirmed that what he had planned for tomorrow would be absolutely perfect. Burying her head into his shoulder Ronnie didn't want him to see the aching sadness in her eyes. Even the comfort of being held felt empty though she still needed it. All she could think about was how much she wanted to feel a child growing inside her, a baby that she could give the best life to, correct all her mistakes and start again. Danielle would be proud of her, she could make everything better, she could have her baby again. But she was failing even at that. Feeling Jack's arms around her she felt safe, safe in the knowledge that she had someone who could give her that baby, she tried to convince herself that it was just a matter of time.
When Ronnie awoke the following morning she reached out for Jack only to find that empty space next to her once again. A flash of dread shot through her, if he was cheating then maybe he'd leave? Maybe she'd be left with no one to give her the child she longed for. Opening her eyes confused and worried she only relaxed when she spotted Jack's pillow, rose petals scattered liberally over the space where his head should have been. The petals snaked along the bed and down onto the floor, pulling herself up she smiled at the romantic gesture, trying to quell the links spurring in her mind. Blood red petals, taunting her, mimicking the small dark spots she had seen scattered painfully the day before. Rose petals, blood red against the pillow, turning to pink at the floor and by the time Ronnie's eyes reached the doorway, white. White roses, Jack would never have the heart to care what white roses meant for Ronnie now, he wouldn't have even taken the time to consider it.
Ronnie ran her hand through the petals on the bed, lifting them into her fingers and letting them fall like spring blossoms back to the sheets. Ronnie swept her feet down from the bed, trying to ignore the slight cramps in her stomach and began to follow the trail out of the bedroom she carried on through the living room and then all the way through to the kitchen. Stopping abruptly at the bottle of champagne and glasses sitting on the side she began to look at the label when she felt a tap on her shoulder she quickly turned around to see Jack standing there, a rose in his hands he smiled at her, not soft enough to be gentle, perhaps more expectant.
"Bit early for champagne?" Ronnie laughed as Jack silently moved the glass she'd picked up from her hands and placed it back down on the counter, taking her hand he pulled her away from the counter before dropping to his knee.
Ronnie let a little gasp escape from her mouth as she watched Jack reach inside his pocket for a perfect little black box. "I never want to lose you again, I love you too much." Jack stated, a determined look on his face knowing that this finally made Ronnie his, all his. His words were true in his mind, want was love and love was want and distinction didn't matter, there was ultimately no difference. But he was determined, not only would he refuse to lose Ronnie, he refused to be so overlooked. They would be married, she would be his wife and he would be the most important person in her life dead or alive.
Ronnie was poised, ready to give her answer to the inevitable question. This was more perfect than anything she could have come up with... First comes love, then comes marriage then comes a baby in the baby carriage.
"Marry me Ronnie"