Hey look! A new chapter!

So I know this must be starting to get a little confusing, so behold! A recap!

Universe Alpha: Penny is not pregnant, but she knows about her alternate situation, and she's confused about her feelings for Sheldon. Sheldon Beta is confused about everything. Leonard, as always, is clueless.

Universe Beta: Leonard is angry with Penny, he's angry with Sheldon, and he's messed things up with Laura, so he's really just a bit useless. Sheldon Alpha has the time machine work and a pregnant Penny to deal with.

Eight

-Universe Beta-

Penny wakes up about noon with a headache. It is a Saturday, there is a little over a week until Christmas, she hasn't bought any gifts, and all she can think about is Sheldon Cooper.

Damn that giant praying mantis of a man! Ever since she met him it's been problem after problem (she has no idea he's been saying the same about her) and granted, nothing quite on this scale, but still. Still.

She rolls out of bed and into a hot shower, and by the time she stands in her kitchen, feeling refreshed and wearing her comfiest jeans and a big t-shirt, the puffiness left by last night's tears is gone. The knot in her stomach though, the one that's been there since she kissed Sheldon…yeah, that's still there.

She pours cereal into a bowl and reaches into the fridge and damn it, no milk. She's about to go over to 4A to scrounge, but that would mean seeing Sheldon. And Leonard. Leonard, who is petty and possessive beyond belief. Leonard, who she dated. She cringes at the memory now.

Penny carefully transfers the cereal from the bowl back into the box, and turns instead to her toaster. Once she's done eating, she calls Bernadette and proposes a girl's day, complete with a trip to the mall and maybe some fluffy movie afterwards.

"That would be great actually," her friend sings down the line, "I still have so much Christmas shopping to do."

By three o'clock, after Penny has bought gifts for her parents, her sisters, her nephew and what seems like everyone else in Nebraska, the subject of Sheldon makes its inevitable appearance.

"I can't believe you kissed him." Bernadette blows delicately on her steaming mug of coffee. The two blondes sit in the corner of a busy Starbucks. The guy at the counter, who can't be any older than eighteen, keeps looking at them. "Does Leonard know?"

"No, but I don't really think it would be possible for him to be any angrier. You know…considering." She casts an involuntary glance at her stomach. She's not showing yet but she knows she will be soon.

"Are you worried?"

Penny knows what she's talking about.

"Yeah," a sigh, "I'm terrified. But I'm just trying not to think about- oh God, I haven't bought anything for Sheldon!" How could she have forgotten? She's thought of nothing but him all day. Somehow, the words Sheldon and Christmas just aren't connected in her mind. Maybe Saturnalia.

"I don't have anything for Howard yet either." Bernadette slumps bag, stirring the coffee absently. "I just don't know what he would want."

"It'll be fine, we'll go to the comic book store later," Penny chews her lip, "I know the guy who works there. He'll help us out."

She hopes Stewart can help them out. With only Bernadette next to her, the comic book store seems strangely ominous. She's very aware of how conspicuous they seem, two pretty blondes and not a superhero tee in sight. She hadn't realised, all the other times she'd been here, how much the guys were her guides, her protectors.

She takes a deep breath and steps inside, Bernadette following. The familiar scent of paper and collectables greets them. The place is busier than usual, but Penny doesn't recognise any of the faces except that of Captain Sweatpants. The Saturday crowd must be different to the New Comic Book Day crowd.

"Penny!" Stewart raises a hand from the counter. The customers look on with envy as the only genuine girls in the store make a beeline for the proprietor.

"Hey Stewart, how are you?"

"I'm doing fine, you know," he finishes slicing open the cardboard box, filled with new comic books from Dark Horse, "Reading comic books. Felicia Day tweeted me."

"Really?" Penny hopes she sounds interested. And that she knows who Felicia Day is.

"Yeah…she told me to stop drawing fan art of her…"

Penny decides to disregard this.

"I'm looking for a Christmas present for Sheldon."

"And Howard," Bernadette adds, with a shy smile.

"Alright," Stewart finishes taking the new comic books out of the box and slides them to one side, "for Howard you might consider the new Batman belt buckle," he gestures towards the rotating rack by the door and Bernadette goes over to take a closer look, "for Sheldon…" Stewart leads Penny across the store to the graphic novels section. A couple of teenage boys move aside so he can reach up to one of the higher shelves. He pulls down a slim volume with a parchment-coloured cover. Penny takes it.

"The Sandman?"

"Yeah, I've been trying to get Sheldon to read it for years," Stewart smiles, "I think you have more sway with him."

Penny looks again at the cover. It is volume one – Preludes and Nocturnes. The author's name-

"Hey, isn't this the same guy who wrote Coraline?"

"That's him."

"Ok, I'll take it."

"Great." While Stewart rings up her purchase, Penny is approached by a short, skinny guy in a Doctor Who shirt.

"The Sandman, huh? Nice choice." He's focusing almost solely on her breasts while he talks.

"Aw, really?" Penny plays it coy. "I'm buying it for the guy whose baby I'm carrying."

The guy goes white.

"That's…uh…that's great."

"Isn't it?"

"Twenty dollars," Stewart interrupts.

"Well, it's been a pleasure talking to you," Penny smiles sweetly as she gives the money to Stewart.

"Yeah…" the guy mumbles awkwardly as he sidles away.

Bernadette reappears with Howard's belt buckle, and Stewart says something funny and as Penny leaves the store laughing, she realises she can no longer remember what he said. But it feels good to laugh, so she does.