That night I dreamed. I dreamed of Jacob continuously hurting me just to make Bella happy. All of the emotions that I felt at that time, I could feel now. In a way this confused me. I knew I was dreaming, but it all tore me to pieces just the same. Why would Jake hanging with Bella affect me so much? I continued taking in every part of my dream. There was nothing there that explained why I resented Bella so much or why I felt the way that I did about Bella and Jacob. Before I knew it, I was jolted awake. I looked around and realized that I had fell out of the bed. I laid there looking at the ceiling until Jacob's face popped over the side of the bed.
"I take it you were tired of sleeping next to me." he grinned. "You rolled out pretty fast."
"Oh shut up, Jacob." I said. I sat up and climbed back in the bed, crossing my legs as I sat down. He was back on his side, hands behind his head and watching me as I played with my fingers.
"What is it?" he asked searching my face. "I know you want to ask me something, I can tell by the look on your face and the fidgeting." I looked up, meeting his eyes and smiled. He knew me so well.
"Can I ask you something?" he nodded. "Promise to be honest?" he nodded again. "Why was I so upset over you and Bella hanging out all the time?" His eyes widened. "I dreamed that you hanging out with her more than me hurt me and pissed me off. We argued all the time about it. I don't understand." I was so frustrated because I didn't know what the hell was going on anymore.
"I I…I don't know, Mia." He sighed.
"Jacob, you were right there. You were part of the argument, don't lie to me." I said watching his face.
"Listen, we will talk later, I need to get to Sam's." he said standing up.
"Don't come back here until you are ready to tell me what is going on." I said flatly. He looked at me. "Go Jacob. Just go." He left and I laid back on the bed picking up the note. I reread what it said many times. Finally I came to a conclusion that I needed to get out of the house. It would all come with time. I walked to Emily's and found everyone there. I kept forgetting to tell them about me leaving for college in a few months, so I would take this as that time. Every one smiled when I walked in the door.
"Hey guys, so there is something that I keep forgetting to tell you." I said. Sam nodded for me to continue, he knew what it was. "So I am leaving for college in the fall." I said letting out a breath with the words. It was quiet for a moment and then all hell broke out.
"Seriously! You can't go." Quil said.
"What are you thinking?" Paul said.
"Why are you leaving?" Leah asked. It had turned in to a huge protest. Only Emily stayed quiet until everyone else had shut up.
"Mia, I am so proud of you. Are you going to stay close?" she asked hugging me to her. I sighed.
"Actually, I got accepted to Stanford in California." I whispered. I looked at Sam who just smiled at me encouragingly. "I leave this fall." Paul was the first to talk.
"I am actually proud you, Little Shit."
"But I thought you were mad at me." I said raising an eyebrow. He chuckled and got up, walking over to where I was standing.
"Mia, I could never be mad AT you." He said hugging me to his warm body. I snuggled into his arms and thought someone growled because of it.
"Just so you know, I may have hugged you but like I said before, you and I will never be a couple." I said pulling away from him.
"You remember that?" he asked looking down at me now.
"Well yeah. You used to try and get me to date you all the time. I just…I don't know, I just never felt anything like that for you. It was as if I had that strong feeling but for who or why I have no clue." I sighed.
"You will remember sweetie." I just nodded.
"Promise you will come back and see us." Seth said. I smiled and gave him a hug.
"You bet I will, but shit we still have a couple months or so." I laughed. "For people who do not want to see me leave, you sure are in a rush." They all laughed.
"We really don't want you too. We just want to see you happy." Jared said. Kim nodded behind him.
"Well I cant believe you would go off and leave us all. If you were going to go to college I figured it would be close by so that we could visit or you could come home for the weekend." Jacob said walking over in front of me. "You are being selfish. How do you think this makes us feel huh? No, I know what it is, you are too good for us now." He was glaring at me full force now. I busted out laughing.
"Really Jacob? You really have to pull a Bella about this?" I asked crossing my arms and looking at him. His eyes widened in shock.
"Really? Of all the things you remember, it has to be that." I was shocked at the attitude he had. It was as if he thought I could control it all. It pissed me off.
"No, I actually remember being used by you, being disrespected, taken advantage of, and worse of all me getting all of the anger that you had for Bella taken out on me." I yelled. "I remember all of that and what really pisses me off is that fact that if anyone else done it to me I would have been walking away and never speaking to them again. I can't understand why it even matters that I talk to you at all now." Everyone was shocked at how much I remembered.
"You want to know why? It is because you and I…" Jacob began until Sam interrupted.
"Jacob no.."
"We were in love. I was your first everything and you were mine. We were more than best friends." I sat there shocked, staring at him. At that moment more pieces began to fall into place. He was right.
"Then I guess you were a shitty boyfriend." I answered turning to walk out the door. I still felt as if something was missing and that it was on the tip of my tongue.
After I got home, I went to my room and laid down. In no time my cell rang. I looked at the caller ID, Edward. I smiled and answered it. "Hello." I said laying back on my pillow.
"Hey Mibug." Edward said. I could hear the laughter in his voice. "We hanging out tonight since Bella and Jacob are going to the bonfire?" What the hell! No one informed me of that whatsoever.
"Sure Edbug, maybe you can help me with my memory problem."
"Why what happened?"
"No idea."
"Alright, I will meet you at Forks High around seven."
"Ok, see you then." I hung up and looked at my clock. 5:00. I had enough time to get more sleep. Lord knows Edward would keep me up all night. Ha Ha since he doesn't sleep. I amuse myself. I set my alarm to go off at six and then fell into a deep sleep.
It wasn't long before I was in my car and driving toward Forks. I had passed Bella and Jacob as I was heading toward the Forks and La Push border. Jacob had a confused look on his face and Bella well she just looked plain pissed. I smiled my best smile before turning back to the road. Five minutes later I pulled into the parking lot and found Edith leaning against his car. I smiled seeing him standing there. He looked like a model off of some Abercrombie commercial. Well except for the paleness. I parked in the spot next to him and got out. "Edith I missed you!" I yelled running and jumping in his arms. He laughed and spun me around.
"I missed you too, Mi." I looked in his eyes and smiled.
"Well I am glad you did. I missed you more though." He just chuckled. "so rack my brain and tell me what my deal is." I sighed.
"Well if I am going to do that, we should go somewhere else. How about we go to my place. Esme will have the heater on in my room, waiting on you."
"Oh Eddie, you truly are the best walking dead guy ever."
"And you are the best girl ever that has ever kicked ass with her mind." I laughed. I could remember that too. "So what is going on?"
"Supposedly Jacob and I were an item and I don't remember that. I only remember us being friends." I sighed. "Why wouldn't I remember it?"
"Maybe because your relationship was too painful." He suggested.
"Do you remember it?" I asked looking at him. He nodded.
"Like I said, we will go to my house and I will explain everything." I nodded. He opened my door and I slid in. This was going to be a long night and I have a feeling that I am not going to like what I hear.
We pulled up to Edward's house. I was about ready to open my door but someone beat me to it, along with picking me up in the process. I pulled back to see Emmet grinning like a mad man. "So I heard you were having some mind issues." He said. I laughed. "Oh wait, you ALWAYS had mind issues, let me rephrase that, memory issues"
"That's right tiger." I laughed. I heard laughter behind me and turned around to see Rosalie smiling at me. I knew that if anyone would fill in the blanks that she would do it without sugar coating shit. "Hey mama tiger." I smiled.
"Mia, I am glad you are here instead of that Bella bitch. She really annoys me." Rose replied as she rolled her eyes. I shrugged.
"So eat her." I answered with a straight face. In my mind I was seriously laughing my ass off.
"Really, Mia?" Alice said as Jasper chuckled. I gave her my best duh face and nodded.
"Really Alice" She turned and ran off. "For someone who loves their brother, Alice sure does kiss Bella's ass. I mean if she were stringing my brother along and trying to date two guys, I would be raising some hell." Emmet put me down.
"I would believe it." He chuckled. Edward stepped forward and grabbed my hand. I turned and smiled at him before he led me in the house and up the stairs to his room. Sure enough it was really warm, just how I liked it. I smiled and pulled off my hoodie, leaving myself in just shorts and a tank that showed off my six pack. I sat down on the bed that he ended up putting in there. When I looked at him he was staring at me. I leaned back on my elbows before kicking off my shoes and sliding further up the bed until my head was on the pillows. Edward watched me, his eyes never leaving mine. "Well come on Eddie." I sat patting the space beside of me. He gave a mischievous grin before walking over and laying down beside me. "So tell me everything that you picked from my mind." And that he did. He began telling me everything that he saw in my head up until I had forgotten everything.
"Now you know." He finished. I took a deep breath. There was something still missing. It was whatever was between us. I needed to know.
"That isn't what I am missing. I mean some things were but not all of it. I need to know, are we just friends or is there more? I mean I know you are with Bella, but is there something here?" I asked motioning between us. He looked in my eyes watching every emotion that played in them. Finally he inched closer to me and for a minute, our lips met. They were cold and hard but in that instant I felt my body warm up drastically, which in turn made his body warm also. Our lips moved in sync. I lifted my left hand and began unbuttoning his shirt. He kindly returned the favor.
Before we knew it, both of us were naked and moving together in perfect rhythm. Something didn't feel right though. This whole situation. I cared for him, I knew that. But I also knew that he wasn't the one that I needed to be with in this way. I looked up at Edward who was looking down at me. His eyes reflected what I felt. " This…This doesn't feel right. I mean, you are good, but this shouldn't have happened between us Eddie." I said. He got up and I quickly dressed.
"I know what you mean. As much as I am attracted to you and care about you, hell even love you. I love Bella more." He said. " I don't understand it, Mia. You are such a sweet girl. You are smart, beautiful, o have an amazing sense of humor, but it is her. We do not speak of this ever."
"I agree. I love you too Eddie. But no matter how much I want to, I still care for the asshole that keeps breaking my heart." I sighed. After getting dressed, Edward climbed back into the bed and I curled into his side.
"Why does it always have to be the hard path?" He sighed. "we are perfect for each other, but I guess the ones who hurt us most are the ones that are the right ones for us."
"Yeah it is kind of messed up, huh?" I laughed. He nodded and squeezed me to him. "Eddie, I have something to tell you." I sighed, sitting up and looking him in the eye. " I leave for Stanford in a couple months." I swear I saw relief cross his face and then was quickly replaced by a smile.
"That is great. Congratulations." He said pulling me to him and kissing my forehead. "You will do great, Mia."
" I hope so." I smiled, cuddling as close as I could to him. "Figure out a way to come and see me?" I asked.
"You bet I will. You will not get away from me that easy."
The bedroom door opened and Rose came in smiling. "Soo, it sounded like you two had a good time." I laughed and threw a pillow at her.
"I stole his virtue, don't tell." I said. She laughed and threw it back before walking out the door. A minute later, Edward's phone rang. It was Jacob. Evidently Bella fell asleep and Jacob was driving her home. He hung up the phone and looked at me.
"Let's go bug. I need to take you to your car." I nodded and stood up stretching. My bones cracked and I sighed.
"Alright then, onward we go, Captain Spanky." I giggled jumping on his back. He laughed and ran through the house. I waved at everyone as we went out the door.
It was a two minute drive to the school. "I will call yo tomorrow."
"Sure thing." I smiled. I kissed his cheek and got out. Once I was in my car, I headed home.
Five minutes after pulling into the driveway, Jacob's bug pulled in. I rolled my eyes and walked out onto the porch. I had just enough time to shower, dress, and then get a glass of water. It took me five whole minutes or so it seemed. Jacob got out and walked up to where I was sitting on the swing. "hey" he said sitting down in the chair next to me. Our knees would have been touching if my legs weren't stretched out on the swing. That and him sitting there effectively prevented me from swinging anymore.
"Hey." I answered staring out into the trees.
"Listen I am sorry about earlier. You are a smart girl. You deserve to go to Stanford. I just do not like the thought of you leaving and me not seeing you every day."
"Seeing me every day? Seriously? Normally you are with Bella EVERYDAY!" I exclaimed. " If you were with me you always rubbed her in my face!"
"Mia, I was stupid. Bella was just a game. Being close to you so close it was like our souls were one, which scared the shit out of me. With you I never had to explain everything. You just knew, I mean know. You know everything about me, there was nothing left to tell you." Jacob said standing up. "With her, it was new. That was it. And it was the fact that I wanted to make sure I could get her from Edward. IT was a game."
"She was a game that you were playing. A game that will not be finished until she marries one of you. A game that you will end up getting caught in again and I won't do it, Jacob. Unlike you, I don't play games with people's emotions." I said standing up. "I can't and won't be with someone as cruel as that. I don't date someone to get back at someone else and prove I can have anyone I want. That is a real dick move, Jacob." I started to walk in the house when he grabbed my hand and pulled me to his chest. I leaned my forehead into his body and closed my eyes. This, this is what I had been missing. This was the piece that I could not find. Jacob was what my soul craved.
"Mia, listen to me. I love you and I want to be with you for the rest of my life." He said leaning down and kissing my exposed shoulder. I trembled as I felt the warmth of his lips on my skin. "I know I have hurt you in the past just please, don't let me go without a second chance." I pulled back and looked at him. The man that stood before me was my world. He was always there when I needed him until Bella came along. He had let me down so many times since then. He was still a boy. No matter how old he looks, he had become a heart breaker and a game player. He wasn't my Jacob anymore.
"Jacob, I think we need time apart. I don't like what you have become. You used to be a sweet caring person who wanted to HELP people, not play games with their feelings or use guilt to keep them around. That isn't you and I don't want anything to do with that person." I stepped away and walked in the house without looking back. Something in me broke and at the moment, it felt like it did when I said the words that broke the imprint in the first place. That is it! The missing piece. He wasn't just my boyfriend and we weren't just in love, we were soul mates and I was his imprint. Shit. Oh well, this doesn't change anything. I don't want to see him anymore. I am done. At least until we both have time to figure out what we want and if we want to be together. More so if he wants to be with me. Only time will tell.