Walking home was very awkward for me, especially because I was walking home with Carlos. He barely looked at me the whole day after Kendall kissed me. He just gave me sad looks every time I was in any of his classes. I really felt bad, because I kiss him the other day, then he sees me and Kendall kiss and me not stopping him. I looked at the pavement, trying to avoid his eyes. His chocolate eyes were burning a hole through my temple. Finally I got the courage to speak to him, but his voice interrupted me.
"Why did you kiss him? After what happened between us!" he yelled. I was taken aback by his comment. I couldn't help but feel sorry for him.
"I'm really sorry Carlos, but it just happened."
"Do you like me, or not?" anger filled his voice. I didn't know how to respond to that. I mean, I really like Kendall; he is like no one I've ever met. But Carlos, he was different too! He could make anyone smile big and laugh so hard their sides start to hurt. But I couldn't answer his question, not yet.
"Carlos, I'm so sorry," I apologized, "but I can't give you an answer just yet."
"I see, well, come to me when you 'figure it out'," and with that, he turned down his street and headed home.
I walked into my empty house and plopped onto my sofa. I let out a heavy sigh as my body sank deeper and deeper into the cushions. I really wish I could tell Carlos the truth, but then that meant lying to Kendall. This was all too confusing for me.
I went into the kitchen to grab a snack, when I noticed my phone vibrating on the island. I slowly walked over to it and looked at the sender, Carlos. I was shocked that he would text me anything after what just happened. But I opened the text anyway, just for fun.
Heey I'm sorry about what I said! U can like whoev u want ! I don't want to stop u
I felt tears forming in my eyes. He is the sweetest thing. I quickly texted him back,
Thaannks ! How bout we start overr ! Meet me in the city park !
I waited for another text from him, which only took a few moments.
Okaay!
I smiled at the message and ran up to my room to get dressed into nicer clothes. I decided on wearing a tight fitting skirt with my flowy top. And I wore a pair of my high heel boots that matched. I walked to my front door to get outside, but as soon as I opened the door, I was face to face with James.
"Hey-" he cut me off.
"Where are you going, looking all "flirty and stuff"," he asked, and I felt my face turn a shade of red.
"I'm meeting up with Carlos; he wanted to talk to me about something." I said simply, but James didn't believe me.
"Why are you doing this, to both of them?" he asked firmly. I gave him my best confused look I could make.
"I don't know what you are talking about." He didn't buy it.
"You know what I'm talking about, Carlos and Kendall, why are you dolling with their feelings?"
"I'm not dolling with anyone's feelings. It's called being friendly."
"Oh yeah, then giving Carlos a little kiss is your way of being a nice friend?" my mouth opened in shock, how did he find out about that? I stuttered as I tried to find the words to say to him. "That's what I thought."
"Please, don't take it the wrong way," I begged. "I'm just so confused! And instead of bashing me, can you please help me?" I waited for his response, which seemed like forever.
"Yeah, but the guys can't know. Then they will think I'm taking sides." He flashed me his good ol' James Diamond smile and embraced me in a hug. But he pulled away slightly so just our faces met. "But you aren't going to make out with me or anything, right?" he joked.
"Na, you're not my type." I giggled softly and hugged him tighter. "Thank you, I owe you big time!"
"No problem." After a while after, James had to get home for dinner. So I was alone for a while, but the silence was good. It gave me time to think about what to do. After another hour, there was a knock at my door. I got up from my position on the couch and went to open it. Carlos was standing at my door, with a frown.
"Had something more important to do?"
"Holy shit! I'm so sorry! James stopped by and…" I tried to explain, but Carlos stopped me.
"James was here?" he asked in disgust. I nodded slowly. "So you like to go for three ways, I see."
"No, it was nothing like that! He came here to talk about me and you and how I felt about you. Then he just left and I just completely forgot."
"Listen, I know I'm not Kendall or James, but I have a heart as big as them combined!"
"Carlos, I swear, there is nothing going on between me and James! He just came here to talk about us!"
"Is there even an us?"
"I'm really sorry, Carlos, and you have every right to be angry at me. But James didn't do anything! So please don't be mad at him."
"I'm not mad at him, it's just…" his angry face transformed into sadness as he walked to my couch and plopped himself into the sinking hole. "I really like you, I mean, if I wasn't too chicken to say this, I would say how I really feel about you. And I know you like Kendall and all, and I have nothing against that, but I don't want to be used." His tone was very serious, yet upsetting at the same time.
"I understand, and I'm really sorry I played with your feelings, I truly am. The problem is, I don't know who I really like, you or Kendall."
"Wait," he got up and turned to me. "You think that you like me? Me, Carlos, the goofball, the ugliest one out of all my friends? Are you sure?"
"Yes," I laughed, "And you're not ugly, just physically challenged, like me."
"No, you're more like beautiful. Your face can light up the darkest night, and shine for miles. You are far from ugly." And that's when my heart swelled to the size of my head.
"Thanks Carlos, I appreciate that." I smiled widely, and then I embraced him in a hug. I felt him smiled in my shoulder, which caused me to smile too. And then I realized that Carlos has made me smile more in 2 weeks than I've ever smiled in my whole life. There's something about him that says to me that I'm beautiful, even when I can't see it.
"You're welcome, Alexandria." He laughed when he used my full first name. I hit him playfully on the arm as we both started to laugh about nothing.