[Just a very short update today, sorry.]
"Any news?" Olivia spoke quietly into the phone; she had just put Lily to bed, and didn't want to disturb her.
"Not much," Alex sounded tense. "None at all, in fact. Sarah and Joe are with her right now. Carolyn's here with me. We're about to go across the road, see if we can get a room in the hotel. Just so's we've got a base, to shower, change, that sort of thing."
"Will you sleep there tonight?" Olivia hoped she would say yes, but anticipated her answer.
"Not tonight. We both want to be here – for Sarah, if nothing else. But we have couches in here, we'll be fine."
"Are you warm enough?"
"Yeah, the nurses have brought in spare blankets. They've been real kind. She's so sick, Liv," Alex tried not to cry. She lowered her voice. "Carolyn's been with her a lot. She looks haunted. I'm not asking her anything; I don't think she has much positive to say."
"Sarah?"
"Terrified, Caro said. She won't leave her. She had to come out for lunch, she looks awful Liv. Caro's going to go and pull her out for dinner soon. She doesn't want to eat, but the nurses are being great, they say they won't let her stay if she doesn't eat something."
"And you, baby?" Olivia asked, lovingly.
"I'm okay. I wish I could do something useful. But there's nothing. I just want to be here for them. How are the girls?"
"Maisie's great. Amy says she's been laughing all day, and crawling all over the place. Lily's a little sad. She wants to come see Jay, but I told her not yet. I had to tell her Alexandra. I was going to try to hide it from her, but I didn't want to lie."
"She'd find out sooner or later. Whatever happens," Alex's voice cracked. "She'd be sad to think her Mama had lied to her. You did right, baby. I'm sure you handled it beautifully."
"I wish I could hold you," Olivia admitted.
"Me too. Will you be able to come tomorrow?"
"I'll be there as soon as I've dropped Lily off. Amy's going to take Maisie and Wiggle tomorrow. She says she can pick Lily up too, if we need her to. And Robyn has Wednesday off, so they'll both take them then too."
"I should call Casey," Alex said.
"It's okay, I did it," Olivia replied. "She says she can handle it all, and if she can't, she'll go to Donnelly. She said to take all the time you need."
"I should go. We need to get this hotel room fixed up. I'll call you if there's any news."
"Call any time," Olivia said. "And try to take care of yourself, if you can, Lex. I love you, honey."
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Sarah couldn't remember ever being so exhausted, but she couldn't close her eyes. So she sat, holding Jay's hot hand, and she watched. She wanted to notice every pained inhalation, every twitch, every moan. She was so desperate to see any change, the slightest hint of an improvement.
The nurses were kind; they brought her cups of tea, a blanket, even a pillow so she could rest her head by Jay's side. But they couldn't help her. The only thing that would make Sarah feel any better would be some improvement in her beloved wife's condition.
It was the longest night Sarah had ever known. Every couple of hours, her mother switched places with Joe. But neither of them said much. There wasn't much to say. At one point, Joe reached out and took Sarah's spare hand and squeezed it lovingly. "She hit the jackpot when she met you," he said quietly.
Sarah nodded. "I'm the lucky one. She means everything to me."
"I know," Joe said. "I know."
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The nurses checked Jay's temperature every fifteen minutes. At the 6.30am check, the nurse – Sarah didn't know her name – gave a small smile. "It's fallen a little," she said. "Not much. 104.4." She touched Sarah's arm briefly. "But it's a start."
Sarah just stared at her. Eventually she nodded. "Thank you," she whispered. She didn't know what to say. What the etiquette was. What did you say in such circumstances?
An hour later, Joe came to replace Carolyn, and he shooed them both out of the room. "Breakfast," he fixed Sarah with a steely glare. "My Jakie would never forgive me if I let you forget to eat. Vanessa has brought you some nice pastries from the coffee shop. You can be back in 15 minutes. I'll stay with her the whole time."
Sarah nodded, and got shakily to her feet.
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"103.9," yet another nurse said just after lunch.
Sarah nodded. Tenderly, she wiped the sweat from Jay's brow. Jay had seemed to settle a little, but just in the last half hour, she seemed more unsettled again. "Hear that, sweetheart? You're doing all the right things. Just keep doing what you're going. And I'll be here with you. Every step of the way."
Sarah lifted Jay's hot hand to her lips, and kissed it softly. As she replaced it on the bed, she noticed a dark patch on one finger. She beckoned to the nurse. The nurse looked closely, and nodded. She left the room, returning a moment later with the doctor.
The doctor looked closely at Jay's hand. "We're just going to have a quick check," he said in a quiet, kind voice to Sarah. He lifted the sheet covering Jay, and checked her feet and her other hand. He nodded. "It's to be expected," he explained quietly, trying not to acknowledge the look of horror on Carolyn's face. "There's a small amount of tissue necrosis. We're just going to keep an eye for an hour or two. Every ten minutes," he instructed the nurse. "It could get better on its own," he turned to Sarah again.
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"104.1," the nurse told the doctor as he came back into the room an hour later. "That's hardly any change."
Sarah closed her eyes. She felt her mother's warm hand on her shoulder.
The doctor checked Jay over again, and nodded approvingly as the nurse applied fresh ice packs.
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"104.9," the nurse was unable to hide the tension in her voice.
Sarah ignored her; she was speaking in a low, loving tone to Jay. "You've got to be strong now, sweetheart. Remember, I'm here for you. I'll always be here," a tear slid down her face. "And we have so many plans. For a start, you owe me dinner, remember? I'm going to hold you to that. Mom's here too, and your Pop's just outside. They won't let more than two of us in, so they're having to tag-team. 'cos there's no way I'm going anywhere," she listened to Jay's breathing, not wanting to acknowledge that it was becoming more labored. "You've gotta hold on for me, baby. For all of us. We all need you," she heard Jay let out a low moan, as she struggled for breath. She felt her fingers stiffen in her grasp, then saw her neck contort. Jay's back arched, as her limbs started to spasm.
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Alex and Olivia looked up, as the door to the relatives' room opened. They saw Carolyn leading a clearly distraught Sarah.
Sarah looked up, and saw Alex's face, and then Joe's. "She … I … oh God," the ground tilted alarmingly, and it was only Olivia's quick reactions that stopped her crashing to the floor as the emotions of the day took their toll and she passed out.
Olivia lifted her in her arms and carried her carefully to the couch. The look on Joe's face was pure fear.
"She had a seizure," Carolyn said, as they settled Sarah, and Alex wrapped a warm blanket around her and pulled her into a warm embrace. "They say septicaemia. Left hand, right foot. Not uncommon with meningitis. They're operating now."
"She's alive?" Joe's voice was weak.
Carolyn went over and knelt by his wheelchair. She took his hand. "She's alive. And she's going to stay that way. No other outcome is acceptable. They're excising the infected tissue. She may lose a finger or something, they won't know until they get in there."
Joe started to cry. "My baby girl," he whispered. "My beautiful baby girl."