A few days later I was sitting on the couch, looking over some writing assignments I had my student's do, when there was a knock on the front door. I glanced at the clock and saw that it read five-thirty. Troy was working late tonight and was coming over sometime after nine. I was confused as to who could be at the door but I got up anyway and flung it open.

Juice looked horrible and I immediately wanted to hug him. Jax had told me this morning over a phone call that he was letting SAMCRO know about Teddy so they could take the next step with their situation with Ethan Zobelle and his followers. I was nervous as to how Juice would handle the news and right now fear was an emotion running throughout me.

"Juice, what are you doing here?"

Juice was crying and I noticed the gun in his hand. I prayed that someone saw Juice leave and wasn't far behind. I knew I would never win a fight against Juice…Especially in his current state. I also knew that Juice wasn't thinking. He needed to be calmed, he needed to understand. And he didn't. Finding out that your old lady was raped wasn't fantastic news. Jax had gone off the deep end when he found out about me. This kind of stuff takes a toll on the members of SAMCRO. Your old lady is your old lady and no one ever wanted to see one of them get hurt…No matter how annoying or stuck up or crazy they were.

"Did you know?" Juice asked through tears as he swung the gun with his hand. I stood still my heart beating faster than it ever has. I definitely didn't want my life to end at the cause of my sister's lover.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

Juice glared at me and placed the gun next to his head, his emotions overtaking him. "Why did it have to happen to Teddy?"

Then I knew Juice wasn't here to hurt me. I stepped forward hesitantly and very carefully took the gun from his hand, stepped back into the apartment and placed it on the entryway table. I heard in the distance the sound of motorcycles and I had never been so happy to hear SAMCRO coming in my life. I wrapped my arms around Juice and he collapsed against me. He fell to the floor and I held onto him my heart breaking for him.

Two minutes later there was the heavy sound of footsteps on the stairs and Jax was the first person I saw followed by Clay, Chibs, Tig and Happy. I smiled sadly at them as they all stood looking down at the mess that was Juice. He was crying out and holding onto me so tightly. And I knew my fears of before weren't of him hurting me but the fear that he somehow thought I was Teddy.

"His gun is on the table," I said looking at Jax. He nodded and entered my apartment.

"Are you alright, Lincoln?" Clay asked me.

I nodded. "I'm fine. It's him we have to worry about."

"Let's try to get him inside," Clay replied as he and Chibs went toward Juice. They were able to pry him off me and they followed me into the apartment and into the living room. Juice sat down on the couch with his head in his hands.

I had no idea what to do. We couldn't call Teddy and we most definitely couldn't go see her. I guess to Juice I was the closest thing he had to Teddy. I mean I looked just like her, obviously, and we shared similar qualities. He had found his comfort of missing Teddy in me and I didn't know how to handle that.

"Did he pull his gun on you?" Clay asked me as he pulled me away from the group so he and I were just talking. I couldn't say that he was putting the gun on himself because Juice would be out of SAMCRO. This whole situation was difficult to put into words.

"No," I said. "He was holding it but he never pointed it at me. I took it from him and he willingly gave it to me. I don't think he was here to hurt me."

Clay looked over at Juice who was being consoled by Chibs. "I don't think he was here to hurt you either. He didn't take the news about Teddy well…None of us did. We do really like that sister of yours."

I smiled. "She's a good one. She didn't want SAMCRO to get hurt. She had the right intentions."

"She reminds me too much of Gemma."

I nodded my head. "I think that too sometimes."

I spent the next half hour being with Juice, talking to him and making sure he understood that none of this was his fault. Teddy had made the decision to keep what happened to her a secret and I told him how much she still loved him. Being away was helping Teddy. She had been through a traumatic experience and what made it even more traumatic was the fact that she kept it hidden for such a long time. That kind of secret can eat away at you. That was why I wasted no time in telling SAMCRO about my accident at the hospital.

"I just miss her, Lincoln."

I placed my hand on his shoulder. "I know you do."

Juice fell to a silence so I stood up and entered the kitchen where the rest of the members were surrounding the table drinking the coffee that I had made them.

"I'm sorry I don't have anything to eat. I haven't been here lately. Teddy is the one who does the food shopping."

"The coffee is fine," Chibs said and winked at me.

I smiled. "You guys must be sick of mine and Teddy's shit."

"It definitely keeps us on our toes," Clay said. "Everyone just really seems to like you two."

"Yeah, no shit," I said as my phone started to ring in my back pocket. I pulled it out and saw that Troy was calling. I excused myself and went into my bedroom to answer. "Hello?"

"Hey Lincoln, what are you doing?"

"Uh something came up with my sister, so I've been handling it for the past hour or so."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything is fine. I just don't think it's a good time for you to come over later."

"No, I totally understand. Do what you need to do. Maybe I'll come to school tomorrow for your lunch break?"

"Sure, that sounds great."

"Okay, I'll see you then."

I hung up my phone and turned around. I jumped about ten feet in the air when I saw Jax behind me. I smacked his chest and I watched him smirk.

"What the fuck? You know I hate when people sneak up on me."

"I'm sorry darlin'," he said. "I'm heading to the hospital but Clay and the guys are taking Juice to the clubhouse. You've done enough for us."

I nodded. "Okay, thank you." He nodded back and turned to leave when I stopped him. "Jax, wait."

Jax turned around with his eyebrows raised. "What?"

"Can I come with you?"

"You want to read him a story?"

My head snapped in Jax's direction as the two of us sat in Abel's hospital room. Abel was lying still in his chamber but he was fighting. He was tiny and precious and when I first saw him I couldn't help but smile. Jax was a lucky guy…Even in the situation he was in with his son.

I nodded and I reached for one of the many books on the table to my right. I grabbed the first one on top of the pile and looked down at was The Cat in the Hat. I opened to the first page and began, hoping that Abel somehow heard me. When I was done I placed it back on the table, stood up and walked over to Abel. I stared down at him as I watched his chest rise and fall.

"You're a natural," Jax said.

I glanced over at him with a smile. "I teach kids for a living."

"I know that, you're just good at it."

I turned and faced him. "We have to stop doing this."

"Doing what?" Jax questioned as he rose from his chair.

"Complimenting each other, making this seem like it's something that it's not."

"I'm not making it anything. I've been fine with everything. You're the one who is bringing this up."

"I just…I don't want either one of us to get the wrong idea."

Jax stepped closer to me and I suddenly felt a rush of heat throughout my body. I needed to get out of this room quickly. I needed to go home. I needed to be away from Jax so I could really see if what I was feeling for him now was in fact real.

"You have a boyfriend," Jax stated.

"Exactly," I added. "And I appreciate you watching out for me, all of SAMCRO. I just don't want a repeat."

Jax smirked and asked, "A repeat?"

"Yes Jax, a repeat. Where you walk away with the bumps and bruises and I'm left with the scars. The never ending voices in my head that tell me how bad you are for me. I've been there before, Jax. And it doesn't end well for me. I lose and you win."

Jax was frustrated. The expression on his face was of bewilderment. "You think I won when I lost you? This isn't a game, Lincoln. It's never been a game. What do you really think of me?"

I felt that since I knew this was going to turn into a heated conversation we shouldn't do it in front of Abel no matter what his condition was. I turned around, grabbed my jacket from the chair, pulled the door open and headed out. I reached the elevator and hit the down button over and over until finally it dinged and slowly opened.

I stepped in letting out a breath when a hand slid through the two doors and Jax stood before me. I rolled my eyes as I moved closer to the wall not wanting him anywhere near me. It was strange how I had a switch when it came to Jax. I could handle him and then I couldn't.

"We aren't done talking."

"I have to go home. I have school in the morning."

"How were you planning to get home?" I had come to the hospital on Jax's bike. I hadn't really thought about that until now.

"I'll call a cab."

The elevator doors opened and I quickly stepped out and exited the hospital. I pulled out my phone ready to call for a cab when Jax grabbed it from my hands. He shoved it in his back pocket and stared down at me.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I asked. "Give me my phone."

"We're leaving."

"Jax, stop…"

"What? Stop fighting for you? Is that what you want me to do? How about for once in your life you stopping doing what everyone expects of you and do what you want. You love me, Lincoln. I know you do. Now grow the fuck up and let's move on!"

"Who do you think you are talking to me like that? I'm not your old lady, Jax! You can't talk to me like I am."

"I don't give a shit whether or not you're my old lady. I don't know where you think you can get away with saying the things you say and not realizing that it hurts people. I may be who I am, Lincoln but I have feelings. I'm not made of stone."

"I'm over this."

"No you're not. If you were over this you wouldn't be with me right now. You wouldn't be acting like you give a shit which I know you do."

I shook my head. "Jax, I think it's time you grow the fuck up and move on."

Jax ran a hand through his hair and glared at me. "Do you ever hear or understand what comes out of your mouth? You never make any fucking sense. One minute you are all for this and the next I question why I even bother with you. You're just as crazy as that fucking sister of yours."

My jaw dropped and I placed my hands firmly on his chest and pushed him back. Jax stumbled but I was already walking past him. It was one thing to insult me but to bring Teddy into it? It just wasn't right. I held my bag close to me as I continued walking happy that his footsteps were not behind me. Soon enough I was a few blocks away from the hospital and heading for my apartment. It would be a five minute ride in the car but walking it was about twenty minutes.

It was chilly and I didn't hear the sound of a motorcycle coming up behind me for my rescue. But what did I expect I was being a total bitch. I didn't deserve him….As crazy as that sounded. What had Jax really done to me in recent months? He had hooked up with Wendy way before we rekindled whatever we had going on. He saved me from that disgusting man outside of the Lava Lounge even though he killed him to do it. He has given me space and hasn't bothered me. He has done everything I've asked and all I have done is make it difficult for him. I'm the one who can't make up their mind. I'm for it and then against it. I am just as crazy as my fucking sister.

I thought of Troy and how great it was to spend time with him. He didn't deserve me either. In fact no one deserved me. I should just pack up now and leave before anyone has time to wonder where I am. It would be ten times easier than hurting one of them. And as I took step after step towards my apartment I knew, in the end, which I would hurt. It was inevitable really. Once you're an old lady it always sticks with you. The lifestyle, the need, the want…It's always there.

Jax was waiting for me at my apartment. He was sitting on his bike smoking a cigarette and looking up at the night sky. He glanced over at me when he saw me and then turned his attention back to the stars. I stood next to him knowing I had to start the conversation.

"I had a nice walk."

"You and your mouth needed it."

"I know. It gave me time to clear my head."

Jax looked at me and sighed. "I'm sorry about what I said about Teddy. I didn't mean it."

I shook my head. "I'm sorry too. I am just as crazy as her. It happens…You want to come upstairs? I'll make you dinner. We can talk."

Jax dropped his cigarette stepping on it with his shoe. We stared at each other for a moment before I stepped towards him and placed my lips on his. He was lifeless at first and I immediately was annoyed. I threw my hands around his neck pulling him closer to me as I deepened the kiss. Finally, after what felt like eternity, Jax's hands found their way to the back of my thighs lifting me up. I wrapped my legs around him as he returned the kiss. All at once my emotions were in check. This felt right.