Chapter 9

Vincent closed himself inside the bathroom near Tifa's bedroom and opened the shower tap. It had been a very long and stressful day, and he was eager to spend some time on his own without constantly having to dodge other people's presence. His friends were lovely human beings and he was very grateful for their existence in his life, but he had always been a loner and, especially when he was in distress, being in the presence of others made him feel just worse.

Thinking back to what had happened that morning on the streets, Vincent felt awkwardly lacking control over himself. His reaction to that man's aggressive behaviour towards Victoria had been a quite unpleasant surprise for him, who was used to consider himself pretty much in charge of his own emotions.

More accurately, in the long decades of shutting himself away from the outside world, Vincent had had nothing left to contemplate but the inside of himself. In doing so, he had become involuntarily very familiar with his own emotional landscape. He had explored every road and every corner so many times that he had come to the conclusion that his heart and mind had no more secrets left for him. That had been his view of the situation until that morning. But when that unknown man had spoken to the girl in that way, that well known landscape had suddenly changed. Where there was mostly numbness and detachment, a sudden anger had burst into flames and Vincent had found himself shocked to see such a strong passion kindle so rapidly in him. Of course, it was not a surprise for him to be bothered by an unkind behaviour, for he had never been able to endure lack of kindness from anyone. But why had he cared so much about this particular situation? In his long life he had witnessed people being killed and tortured in all sorts of ways without losing his mind, and now he had been so ready to use violence on a stranger just for talking harshly to a girl who was almost a stranger herself. Why had his emotive reaction been so immediate and strong? Was he starting to get too much involved in the outside world once again?

On the way home, Cid and the girl had kept on talking about the inventor's projects like nothing had happened, while Vincent had followed them passively lost in his thoughts. The fact that she looked like she had forgotten about it made him feel more awkward and out of place. He had continued to feel anger boiling inside him for quite a long time and his mind had kept on asking why. He had the impression that he was failing to understand himself, and that was a new and unpleasant feeling. Because of this, he had kept on feeling weirdly moody for the whole day. Trying to adjust to his new self and the consequences of his emotional change, he had spent the day avoiding his friend's presence, and finally, when he had been forced to spend some time with them during dinner, he had been more silent and less participative than usual.

Now, finally alone in that bathroom, with the locked door to shield him from the looks of his worried friends, Vincent took another very deep breath. He would have liked to change subject, but the thoughts his mind had been chewing all day long kept hunting him while he carefully removed his clothes and stepped into the hot stream of the shower. As the water poured down onto his tense body, he forced himself to relax. He slowly rotated his head to ease some of the stiffness of the neck and moved the shoulders in circles for a few times under the calmingly hot water. The shower stream poured onto his scalp providing something like a massage and spreading his hair all across his face.

He felt a bit renewed and calmer. He tried to convince himself that there was actually no need for him to be so upset about anything. He simply was no more used to interact with strangers and must have forgotten how rude and unpleasant humans can be with each other. It was not a big deal. The anger lingering in him would simply burn out with time. Probably, the next morning he would be himself again and that whole situation would look like a dream. He was making a fuss over nothing. After all those years of solitude and retirement, he could not easily be dragged back into the world's business and other people's lives. It had not happened with Sephiroth's threat to the planet and humanity, how could it happen because of a mere act of unkindness?

All these were rational and very good reasons for him not to freak out. Vincent would have liked to find himself very convincing, but despite all his efforts, the memory of Victoria's hands trembling under the insistence of that stranger's harassment kept visiting his mind like a recurring nightmare. He was unaware of the words the man had said to her, but he was sure that her eyes were filled with the same expression she had made the first night, while Hojo had been dragging her away from him. And those eyes had made him lose his mind.

Taking a very deep breath, Vincent leaned onto the shower wall. He felt stupid and inadequate and the sensation produced by the smooth surface of the ceramic tiles against his skin was surely good but not nearly enough to wipe away the mess that was going on in his mind. He grabbed the shampoo bottle with a sigh.

Why was his life always so messy?

After lingering in the shower for a very long time, Vincent started to feel guilty about the amount of water he had been consuming and finally resigned to get out. He carefully stepped out of the shower, burying himself in towels to avoid wetting the whole bathroom. The towels felt smooth and very soft against his skin and he tried to enjoy the sensation as much as he could before leaving that comfortable cocoon to face reality once again.

When he finally unlocked the bathroom door a few minutes later, he found that the house's upper floor was silent and desert, while some music and laughter could be heard from the 7th Heaven downstairs. The bar was, as usual, opened for business until past midnight.

Feeling very grateful for the absence of people on his path, Vincent sneaked through the corridor. Taking advantage of Tifa's working shift at the bar, he had asked her the permission to wash himself in her bathroom. He didn't want to occupy the one near his bedroom, hoping that the girl who shared it with him would wash and change there and go to bed before him. He really wished to dodge the occasion to talk about what had happened that morning because surely she had been as surprised by his behavior as he himself. And since he had no coherent explanation for that, avoiding any question about it looked like the ideal solution for him.

He opened the bedroom door slowly, trying to balance the dirty clothes he was keeping in his arms. His cloak tried very hard do escape from his grasp, and Vincent mentally cursed himself for choosing such a complicated outfit.

The room appeared to absolutely quiet and almost pitch dark, which made him hope that his plan had actually worked out well and she had already fallen asleep. Luckily, he had memorized quite soon the furniture's disposition in the room, which meant he could easily move into the darkness. He carefully drooped the clothes on the chair near the window, promising himself to be tidier in the morning, and moved with stealthy steps toward his bed. The wooden floor creaked a little under his naked feet, but the girl didn't seem to react in any way to that. The air of the room felt a bit colder than the one in the bathroom, but Vincent's skin was still hot from the shower, and that change of temperature was quite pleasant. He carefully listened to the girl's breath, which sounded regular and calm, so he guessed that she was engaged into what appeared to be a very profound and calm sleep. This made him almost smile in relief.

He was already in reach of the blankets when he suddenly heard a sigh behind his back. Vincent instantly froze, as if he had been caught red-handed in the middle of some crime. His heartbeat accelerated in a way that was very similar to what happened when he was being chased around by enemies during a fight. He almost reached for his right tight to grasp his shotgun before remembering that the weapon was not there, but most importantly there was really nothing to shoot at. The only danger in the room was a sleepy girl, whom he now suspected to be not so sleepy as he had wished her to be.

-Vincent?- her voice asked in a whisper, answering promptly to the question his mind was silently formulating.

He replied with an undefined hum. Of course she was awake, because luck was never on his side!

- Why are you angry at me?- she asked.

Surprised by the sudden question, he finally abandoned the position in which he had frozen and looked in her direction. In the almost complete darkness of the room, he couldn't see anything, but his mind easily imagined her sitting on her own bed, looking at him with those big chocolate brown eyes.

-I'm not.- he answered, trying to sound perfectly calm -Why do you ask that?-

His heart was still adjusting to the absence of any real threat, and he could hear it beat so loudly that he almost feared she could hear it too. What a silly old man he was, getting all scared by a harmless girl!
As he contemplated his foolishness, he heard her blankets moving.

-Since this morning, you've been avoiding me.- she replied.

He could hear her voice tremble a little.

Vincent didn't know how to explain his behavior to her. Actually, he had been avoiding everyone, but that looked like a very stupid and childish thing to say. When he had nothing clever to say, he usually just shut up, but people tended to be not quite satisfied by that behaviour. He guessed that Victoria would be unhappy about his silence too.

-I'm sorry.- she said, confirming his suspect -I didn't do anything to make that man feel like he could talk to me like that, I… -

-Of course you didn't!- he interrupted her quite abruptly -I… -

Silence fell and Vincent sat on his own bed feeling once again very stupid. He couldn't or didn't want to explain exactly why that thing had made such an impression on him. It seemed pretty idiotic to admit that he had been upset all day for the simple fact that someone had dared to behave so aggressively towards her. After all, it was none of his business. And yet...

-You…?- she asked.

-I'm not angry at you.- he replied, trying to buy some time to formulate a good explanation of his actions.

-Actually, I am angry at that man for treating you like that. I got so angry that I wished to hurt him, and that… scares me a little.-

Vincent was really surprised by his own sincere confession. He was not a liar, but usually he kept his reasons for himself and avoided explaining his behavior or commenting things when not necessary. That time, however, words had simply escaped his mouth before he had the time to think them through, which was something very uncommon for him.

She didn't say anything in reply, but he could hear her blankets moving again followed by the sound of light steps coming in his direction.

When the steps stopped, he could vaguely see what looked like a human shape standing right in front of him. His eyes were slowly adapting to the very low light of the room and now he could actually see something, even if not much. She was standing in front of him, and the cloth of her night dress, still swinging around after her movements, lightly caressed the lower part of Vincent's legs.

-And are you not mad at me for seeing him?- she asked.

-Mmm?- he replied, feeling quite confused by the evolution of that discussion.

-Not him, I mean him! I mean… the winged… thing?-

Oooh, Vincent thought. She meant Chaos.

In the confusion following their encounter with that man, he had ended up almost forgetting that she had talked about seeing Chaos. And saying very strange things, nonetheless.

-I would have preferred for you not to see him, but it's not like you had a choice.- he said -To be honest, I'm sorry you were forced to witness something like that. I guess it must be scary.-

He hoped to hear something more about the whole situation and something that made sense. That was the reason he had suggested that she must have been scared, because he hoped that she would confirm that. Perhaps she had not wanted to say it in front of Cid, so he had gallantly given her the opportunity to confess it now. He wanted to hear her say how afraid and confused she had been when Chaos had shown himself, to wipe away the nonsensical things she had said in the morning.

However, the girl didn't comment his words in any way, and he found himself waiting in silence for a few moments, considering once again the whole situation.

-I'm surprised you haven't spoken about it until today.- he said, once he had recollected his ideas.

Ok, maybe she hadn't been scared, but then what? He definitely wanted to know some more. Didn't she have questions about it? It sure was something anyone would be quite confused and willing to ask some clarifying questions about.

-But you never did either! I guessed… it was not something you'd like to talk about. Maybe I would have asked eventually, but I was kinda waiting for you to bring up the subject yourself. Surely I hadn't planned to talk about it with Cid or anyone else. I'm sorry, it just escaped my mouth before I could stop it.-

She was still in front of him, and Vincent's eyes could barely see her shape against the indistinguishable background of the room. Oddly, there was something that made him feel almost comfortable about being inside that darkness together. Despite being quite physically close to each other, somehow he felt safer now than when they had been meters apart but in plain light. It had something to do with the fact that they could not look into each other's eyes, nor read each other body language. And, at the same time, they didn't have to worry about their own body language because their bodies were not involved in the conversation.

It almost felt like they were bodiless voices, minds having an honest conversation without the many implications of being made of solid matter. In that particular situation, Vincent felt quite at ease saying things that would feel impossible to talk about in any other circumstance. Even speaking about Chaos and what the demon did to his body looked somehow easier now that said body was not visible to her.

-I was… surprised by the way you talked about Chaos.- he confessed.

After all, there was no reason to hide his surprise.

-Chaos?- she asked, sounding really confused.

-That's how it's called.- he explained.

Of course she couldn't possibly be aware of that information, but Vincent had somehow forgotten this for a few instants.

-Chaos- she repeated, as if she was trying to make that name known to herself.

-So… the winged person is not… you?-

That was a very good question.

Vincent took a deep breath trying to figure out the right words to explain the situation. It was somehow less difficult to talk about certain subjects in that darkness, but that didn't mean it was easy. Chaos was still a very personal topic for Vincent, and not a happy one.

-No, it's not me. It's something that's inside my body and sometimes it just… manifests.-

Choosing the words to express his thoughts made Vincent suddenly very conscious that he had never talked about Chaos before in his life, not even to his closest friends in the Avalanche. This girl, who was little more known to him than a perfect stranger, was actually the first human being he shared his experience about the demon with. He was revealing one of his biggest and darkest secrets to a person whose very name was unknown to him, despite his mind had kept thinking about her as "Victoria" since that dream he had made the night before.

He was unsure if the most surprising aspect of that situation was this one or the fact that talking to her about Chaos didn't feel as strange as he had imagined before. It all came quite naturally, to be honest.

-So, the things he said… that was not you talking?- she questioned.

When Vincent had thought that asking her about Chaos could bring him to discover things he had never known before about the demon, he surely hadn't imagined this sort of revelation. He had never even considered that Chaos could talk! It appeared that he was destined to be surprised again and again that day.

-No.- he replied, considering the possibility to explain himself better.

-Actually, I don't even remember what happens when he is… when he has control over me.-

-Oh- she said, and somehow it didn't seem to be a pleased sound.

Vincent frowned.

-May I ask what he has said to you?-

-He said "we will protect you".- she replied.

-I thought he was you, so when you brought me here I guessed you had meant yourself and the others. But now… considering he is not you… do you think he meant you and him?-

Vincent shook his head lightly, even if she probably couldn't see him doing that.

Not only Chaos could talk, but he did it in a language known to them and saying things related to the situation in which he was showing himself. Also, why would the demon say something like that?

-I don't know anything about his mind. He is completely separated from me. Until now I wasn't even aware that he could talk.-

Victoria didn't reply to that comment and for a while they simply remained silent. Vincent was wondering about Chaos' nature and why he had decided not only to show himself in that particular situation, but also to go as far as to talk to her, tellying quite reassuring things nonetheless.

He had always considered Chaos to be nothing more than a beast drawn by sheer instinct, but now it was rapidly becoming impossible to dismiss him like that. He suddenly appeared to be acting in a very rational way.

Now, if the demon was capable of rational thinking, it was reasonable to assume his action were performed for some reasons, maybe in pursuit of some goals. But what could he be trying to obtain using Vincent's body as a vessel for his actions? And why was he so interested in the girl and in making her feel safe? Was there a reason that had brought Chaos to promise her his protection? Or was the demon simply fond of her somehow? Maybe he just hated Hojo as much as Vincent did and enjoyed seeing the scientist's plans fail.

Vincent almost laughed as that thought crossed his mind. The idea that Chaos could somehow be an ally to him was simply ridiculous. However, the information she had shared with him surely had put the demon in a new light, even if he wasn't quite sure if that had any consequences on him.

-So, how did Chaos enter your body?- she eventually asked.

That was a very understandable and predictable question, but it was also the one million gil question that Vincent would probably never be ready to answer. Even complete darkness was not enough to make him feel safe talking about Lucrecia and her role in his life, it was simply too much for him.

-Please, don't take this personally, but I won't answer that question.- he replied, immediately regretting how his voice had sounded cold and unforgiving.

-Oh- she said - I'm… I'm sorry I asked…-

She sounded hurt and suddenly very unsure. Vincent regretted the bad turn suddenly taken by their conversion. He felt compelled to apologize for his harsh tone but the sudden appearance of sounds from the corridor stopped him from doing so. Steps and voices coming neared and neared could be heard quite clearly, and Vincent automatically focused on those noises to check who was on the other side of the door.

-... Don't… jealous!- Cid's voice was saying with a laughing tone.

Although it was impossible to clearly hear all the words, Vincent effortlessly recognized the joking tone of his friend.

Victoria remained silent too. Maybe she wished to listen as much as him.

-I'm not!- shouted Yuffie's voice in return. This time Vincent had no difficulty in hearing her very well. She really had a habit of talking too loudly.

-Shhh!- replied Cid, adding some words Vincent couldn't understand.

-I don't care!- Yuffie protested without lowering the volume -Something's not right! He spends all the time in there with her! Why am I the only one who wonders what's so interesting about her? What makes him suddenly so happy to spend hours with her instead of us?-

Vincent suddenly felt even more grateful for the darkness that kept him and Victoria from seeing each other, because Yuffie's not so kind words would have made really difficult for him to look her in the eyes.

-I mean, are you kidding me? He doesn't give a fuck about us for years, he even has the guts to disappear and go back to that coffin as if we don't even exist, and suddenly this random girl pops into his life and he's all about her! I get it, she needed help, but why does this mean they have to stay alone together all day long?-

Yuffie's tone was clearly implying that something not so genuinely selfless was going on between the two of them.

Vincent felt the urge to sink into the Earth and never emerge again.

Cid said something in return, but this time he couldn't understand a single word.

-Yeah, but she looks fine to me: she can talk, she can walk, what else does she need? She's ready to leave and let us go back to our lives, Vincent included! Is she keeping him prisoner or what?- the ninja argued.

-Shhh! We... helping people in need… selfish… understand?- Cid replied, this time being partially audible.

-I'm not selfish and you know that! I just want to… going on… why… Vincent… -

It appeared that Yuffie was finally accepting the idea of keeping her volume down, but Vincent thought it was too late. The things she had said about him and Victoria had been so clearly audible that the girl standing in front of him surely couldn't have missed a word.

That was quite awkward by itself, but what made him feel even worse was that some of Yuffie's feelings and thoughts were actually the same he had had during the previous week. He had wished for the whole situation to end and for the girl to stop being his problem as soon as possible too. But now that someone else had spoken those thoughts out loud in her very presence, he felt deeply guilty and selfish for even thinking those things in the privacy of his own mind. Of course, she didn't know that, but he did and that was enough to make him feel really bad.

Vincent couldn't help but wonder what would have happened to him if Cloud and the others had wished to quickly get rid of him as he had hoped to do with Victoria. And, as Yuffie had so eloquently said, he had paid his friends back disappearing without even a word.

It appeared he had failed both at taking care of people and at being grateful to people who took care of him: a success on all fronts.

While he was considering his many faults, he heard Victoria's steps moving away from him and the sound of her body thrown onto what he supposed was her own bed. She made a sobbing sound. It appeared she was feeling even worse than him. This was to be expected, but Vincent was so used to be torn apart by his own distress that had some troubles keeping track of others' emotions and reacting promptly to them.

He stood up, eager to somehow fix this, but only then he realized he didn't know what to do. He wanted to comfort her and say that she was welcomed to stay as long as she needed to, but words kept tangling inside his mind and couldn't reach his mouth.

As she began to cry louder, Vincent had a heavy heart feeling that it was all his fault.

-I… I don't… - he tried to say, failing.

-Go away!- she replied, her voice shaking -Just go!-

Vincent sighed and resigned to obey.

It surely looked like he could do nothing to make things better at that moment, and he could not blame her for wanting to be away from him. He knew very well the need to be alone while suffering, so he was quite ready to obey that order and leave her the space she needed to calm down and feel better.

So, hoping that Cid and Yuffie had already gone to bed, he quickly walked in the door's direction. He was ready to leave her the entire night for herself and sleep on living room's floor, if necessary. After all, he was used to lay in a coffin, the floor could not be worse than that.

Focusing on those things, he had already reached the door and placed his right hand on the handle when she exclaimed -Oh gods!- and he heard running feet coming in his direction from where she was.

For the second time that night, he felt like he had been caught in the middle of committing a crime, and promptly dropped his grip on the door's handle to prepare his body to face the consequences of what he guessed was Victoria running towards him.

He knew he had been right in his guess when she hit him hard in his chest with her head and her whole body slammed into his own quite forcefully. It appeared she hadn't considered how small the room was when she had started to run towards him.

She grabbed the cloth of his clothes with the same desperate strength she had used on their first encounter and she buried her face into his chest, rapidly wetting Vincent's shirt with her numerous tears.

He stood still, paralyzed once again by the reality of their bodies. He had quite enjoyed pretending they were only voices, and now that she was suddenly making physical contact with him again, he was experiencing some familiar troubles with this invasion of his personal space.

-Don't leave me!- she muttered between sobs pressing her forehead against him.

Vincent noticed she had moved her hands onto his back, not quite hugging him but more like stopping him from actually going anywhere.

Remembering Yuffie's words, he thought Victoria was now literally taking him prisoner. He also noticed that his discomfort was more psychological than actuality physical, and once again he thought that bodies adjust to new situations much faster than minds.

He could have easily freed himself from her grasp, but rejecting someone who is already feeling very much rejected didn't look like a good idea to him. Also, he had caused her distress, so it was fitting that he had to make things right. If that meant letting her cry as long as she needed against his body, he had no intention of robbing her of what she needed to feel better. Moreover, had seen her cry so often in the past days that, for the first time in his whole life, he actually thought he could handle the situation on his own.

Because of this, he resigned to stay still and wait for her to calm down a little, hoping that no one would walk through the corridor in the meantime. The closed door was not enough to shield her crying noises and Vincent really would have liked to avoid any outside intervention.

To make her feel he was not going away, he carefully put his own hands on her back, in what was a very distant relative of a hug. In doing so, he discovered that her nightgown left a portion of her back naked, and his hands had landed across the border between the cloth and her skin. The intimacy of that touch made him feel really uncomfortable at first, but Victoria didn't seem to mind that contact at all an, after a while, something different captured his attention.

The sensation of her skin against his own struck Vincent as something new and intriguing. She was so smooth and tender compared to the relatively harsh cotton of the nightgown, and touching someone else without the leather gloves he usually had on surely felt like a completely different experience.

Admittedly he had been touching Victoria with his naked hands a few times before, but this particular time felt very much unlike the others.

The night they had escaped the Mansion together he had been forced to make physical contact with her a lot, but in that situation the worries about her survival and the violation of his own personal space had completely filled up his mind, leaving little space to consider what did it feel like to touch directly someone else's body. He remembered that he had felt that shiver through him, and that had made him feel weird, both in a good and in a bad way, but he didn't remember that as a mostly pleasant experience.

Similarly, the evening he had shaved her head, he was too focused on the task assigned to him to notice all the touching that was going on. Only after that, when their fingers had briefly made contact, he had felt shaken by that, but it still had felt like an alarming experience, something unknown but also unwelcomed. He remembered how those touches had made him feel uncomfortable and thrown off his balance, which was a very challenging feeling for someone who committed so much to be in total control of himself and completely unavailable for other people to touch.

It was strictly on purpose that Vincent protected himself behind clothes, gloves and pointy things that did a really good job in keeping people away from his body. The vast majority of his skin was never even available for others to see, let alone to touch. The reason for this choice had more to do with personal safety than style, even if Cid sometimes joked on his strange outfit saying that he dressed like that to capture all the attention.

Being free for others to touch for Vincent meant being at their mercy, not only in a fight but also (and mostly) in everyday life. It meant to be subjected to their will and the possibility to be touched, casually or purposefully, by others without his own consent. He couldn't bear that.

He knew that physical contact was a big part of human's experience on Gaia and played a huge role in people's relationships with each other, and he had long before decided nothing good for him could come from that.

So, he had chosen for himself an attire that surely didn't invite people in, and that protected his skin from direct contact if and when someone occasionally dared to try.

This premises made what he was feeling now so unexpected and astonishing for him. He was currently involved in the most significant amount of touching he had had in the last forty years of his life,and this was supposed to feel uncomfortable and unwelcomed. But it actually did not. He was not feeling overwhelmed or upset.

To be honest, he was just curious to know and feel more. He didn't shiver and his head was not dizzy. His body felt normal and his mind was calm.

Being touched by Victoria didn't make him feel like running away and locking himself in his coffin once again. On the contrary, he was very surprised to see how it just made him want to discover again what he had been avoiding for four decades.

His fingers kept shaking lightly as if they wanted to explore the feeling of Victoria's skin against their own. She was so soft, smooth and warm under his touch and she didn't make him feel bad at all. On the contrary, it felt strangely good to be so close to someone else. It was a sentiment that he had long forgotten but now was slowly coming back to him, blurred as the memory of a dream. A feeling of peacefulness and tranquility, something similar to coming home after a long and tiring journey.

Vincent's mind got lost in the contemplation of these unknown sensations and the memories that were brought back to him, and for a few moments he completely forgot the reason why he was making physical contact with her. He forgot who she was at all, and all the worries and questions that surrounded her existence. His consciousness traveled from his brain to his fingers and he gave up the control over the rest of his body to just focus on what his hands were experiencing and how that made him feel.

When he got back in the moment, he discovered that Victoria's sobs had become less noisy and her body was now much closer to his own. What had been a mechanical and not very heartfelt imitation of a hug had somehow evolved into a real one, in which their bodies leaned onto each other in perfect equilibrium. Her hands' grip on his back had become weaker and he noticed that it was actually him who was now holding her in place. He was no more held prisoner, but to his own surprise he discovered he was not eager to escape.

Vincent noticed that the whole front part of Victoria's body was in contact with his own, so he could feel her not just with the tips of his fingers but with his arms, legs and chest too, even if their clothes kept their skins from touching. Even his chin was buried in her short and spiky hair, because she was so much shorter than him that his whole head was above her own. He could feel distinctly the wet of her tears soaking his shirt and her skinny arms surrounding his waist. Now that she was no more shaken by her crying, he could even easily follow the changes that breathing produced in the way her chest pushed onto him and retreated regularly. He noticed also that their breathing rhythms had naturally become synchronized.

And she smelled good. Her head was mostly dominated by the smell of the shampoo, which was actually the same one that he has used too. It was simply logical that Tifa and Cloud had not provided every bathroom of the house with a different shampoo, but Vincent's mind was not very fond of logical thinking at the moment. He just detected the smell and liked it for the familiar sensation it produced in him. It didn't feel like something foreign and unknown, but rather like something known and familiar, as if she was somehow not a separate entity from him.

His hands had ran into a scar on Victoria's back, just a couple of inches under her neck, but rather than wondering what had Hojo done to her to produce that permanent cut on her skin, Vincent unconsciously mapped that unknown territory with his fingertips.

It was the most intimate he had been with someone in his whole adult life, but somehow it felt calming rather than allarming, pleasing rather than scaring.

He felt so relaxed that he could probably fall asleep like that without even noticing.

-Please… don't go. I'm sorry, I… I can't… I can't be without you… - she said, and because her face was still buried in his shirt, he felt the vibration of the sounds against his own chest, almost as if she had spoken directly inside his body.

He found quite ironic that she was begging him to never go away while he was already feeling so compelled to stay forever in that way.

How fascinating that only a few minutes before he had been so glad to talk to her pretending their bodies didn't exist, while now he felt suddenly so grateful for the fact that they did.

-I'm here- he said, not really thinking his own words through before pronouncing them -I won't leave unless you ask me to.-

As he said that, he realized he was not so sure he was now capable of leaving even if she had actually asked him to go. He felt under some sort of spell that made his body heavier and less willing to move than usual. He opened his eyes, noticing just then that he didn't recall having closed them, and tried to regain some self control. The room was still pitch black and they were so close to the door that once again Vincent thought that if anyone had walked down the corridor they could have easily heard Victoria's cry. But she was not crying anymore. She must have stopped while he was not capable of noticing.

-I'm sorry- he said, without having a clear understanding of what he was apologizing about.

She held him tighter and Vincent remembered once again Yuffie's words about her keeping him her prisoner. He knew the ninja meant no harm and was probably only worried about his strange behavior, but Victoria didn't know her and must be feeling very upset by what Yuffie had said about her.

He felt he needed to make things right, to Victoria and to the friends that took care of them both and he was neglecting.

At the moment, he could start with the girl in his arms.

-I'm sorry for what Yuffie has said. She is not a mean person, she's just… I think she is just upset for my behaviour, but this is not your fault. It's mine.- he explained.

-Do you… agree with her?- Victoria asked, making his chest once again vibrate with the sounds her mouth made.

That feeling was amazing. If only she had talked more, he could experience it longer and find out more about it.

-Mmmm...?-

Vincent was losing coherent thought once again.

-About me. Do you think that I keep you prisoner? That I must go away and leave you alone?-

Vincent resisted the urge to say something like "please, don't ever leave me alone" and tried to focus on his rational self, to answer properly to that question.

He knew very well he had wished for the whole situation to just stop being his problem, but it was clearly not fair to say that he now wanted her to go away. Even considering that at some point their bodies would stop being so intertwined, and reality would come back to hunt them with its usual unpleasantness, she was now somehow part of his life, and there was no point in denying that or wishing it not to be.

Also, it was true that in the past days he had strongly wished not to have ever found himself where he was, but even before that night, he hadn't actually wished to send her away. And not just because she was important to discover what Hojo was doing, but because he could not bring himself to be so cold hearted as to see someone so desperately needing his help and turn aside. And, despite it was hard for him to admit it even to himself, Victoria was indeed the closest thing he had ever had to a kindred spirit. She was very different from him in so many ways, and yet somehow also very similar in so many others. As Tifa had pointed out a few days before, their past experiences surely had something in common, but he had the feeling that what he sensed was not so simple to explain nor so logical.

They shared something which he couldn't fully understand yet, but he could sense it and was undoubtedly curious to know more.

-Oh gods!- she exclaimed, suddenly trying to wriggle free from his hold -I am ruining your life!-.

She must have decided that his long silence was very eloquently confessing that Yuffie was right about everything.

The enchantment broke like a glass thrown against a wall and Vincent immediately retracted his body to let her free, feeling very self conscious and alarmed once again. What had he been doing? What was happening to him?

In the urge of suddenly being away from her, Vincent must have done something wrong, or maybe she had lost her balance on her own, because he heard a thud and one of her feet kicked his right ankle. She must have fallen to the floor.

-Shit!- she cursed, making other noises that Vincent couldn't understand.

Instead of worrying or feeling guilty, he somehow felt tempted to laugh at the absurdity of the whole situation, but he restrained himself to avoid offending her. Instead, he leaned forward to help her get up, but the hand he was offering in help ended up onto her face in quite a graceless way.

-Sorry!- he said, moving the hand away and rapidly becoming more and more tempted to laugh at their clumsy movements. Maybe being in almost complete darkness was not so good, after all.

-Are you ok?- he asked, keeping his body as still as he could.

-I just fell- she confirmed. Her voice didn't sound angry or sad. Maybe she was starting to see the ironic side of the situation too.

-Is it ok if I turn on the lights?- Vincent asked -I think we should stop hitting each other.-

She made a sniffing sound and answered affirmatively. Her breath sounded calm.

Trying very carefully not to stomp her, Vincent reached the nearest switch. As he pressed the button, light instantly shown into the room and he automatically closed his eyes in discomfort.

When he felt comfortable enough to try to open them again, he saw Victoria was half-seated and half-laid onto the wooden floor. Her eyes were shut, as she was probably trying to shield them from the sudden brightness of the light.

Vincent waited patiently for her to open them up and slowly leaned forward, offering once again his hand to help her get up.

She looked at him with an undecipherable expression and grabbed his hand firmly. He noticed that she appeared to be calm and no more on the edge of crying, so maybe he had somehow succeeded in handling the crisis on his own. Perhaps he was really starting to learn something about dealing with other people's troubles.

Once he had made sure that Victoria was safely standing onto her own feet, he gently pulled his hand back from her, silently implying that it was time for them to stop holding each others. At first she seemed to resist him a bit, but then she let go herself, adding a condescending nod with her head.

Vincent watched closely as she walked back to her bed, and his eyes automatically indulged for a little while on the area on her back where his hands had been placed just a few minutes before. She moved slowly and carefully as if she was walking underwater, but she eventually arrived at her bed without falling.

When she sat on the edge of the bed, she turned her head to watch him in the eyes.

-Why are you standing there?- she asked. Her voice sounded low and a bit sleepy.

Vincent shrugged and rapidly walked to his own bed, where he sat right in front of her.

-Now what?- she asked again -Do we go to sleep?-

He nodded. It seemed like the only reasonable thing to do, even if he wasn't sleepy at all. Victoria's eyes, on the contrary, were already half closed. She was visibly tired, and he surely couldn't blame her for that: crying is an exhausting activity.

She leaned on her right to reach the lamp that was placed on the bedside table and turn on the little black switch. Vincent reached for the chandelier switch, which was near his own bed, and turned it off. Now the room was lighted by a much softer and warmer light, and he noticed that his eyes probably were a bit tired too, because the change made him feel better.

-I like it better this way- Victoria said, perhaps talking to herself.

Vincent replied with an affirmative hum, fixing his pillow with an automatic gesture.

-You didn't answer my question.- she said, making him turn his head to look at her.

-Mmm?-

-Well, it was not really a question, but I said that I am ruining your life, and you didn't say "no"...- she explained. She was watching him closely, as if she was trying to study his reaction to her words now that there was light in the room.

-You are not- he said, simply.

There was not much more he could explain. He was not mad or unhappy that she had appeared in his life, and that was all.

Victoria smiled and looked away.

-Oh, you are always so eloquent!- she joked.

Vincent felt happy that she was in the mood for sarcasm, even if he was the object of the joke.

-What about you, then?- he heard himself asking, not knowing were that was actually coming from.

Victoria's gaze locked back into his eyes with a suddenly very serious expression.

-What do you mean?-

-I guess this must be better than being prisoner of the Mansion, but are you happy here? Perhaps you'd like to leave and go somewhere else…- he explained.

She smiler again, but this time it was a bitter smile.

-There's nowhere else I'd rather be. Until you found me I was not even properly living a life that could be ruined, so this days here have been the most happy that I have ever had in my whole life.- she replied.

-But before that, you…-

-There's nothing before that!- she interrupted him quite abruptly, shaking her head strongly -There's only now and here, this room and this house, this amazing people that have decided to shelter me and… you, of course.-

She said the word "you" with an intensity that made Vincent feel as if there was some metaphysical meaning to it. Also, since she had mentioned the others and the decision "to shelter" her, he suddenly remembered Yuffie's words and the fear that he and Reeve had shared the day before about Victoria's existence. And suddenly he was struck by the enormity of the sin he had committed stealing her DNA from her, a girl who had put all her trust in him, a girl who could say that he was "you" evoking such a transcendental purpose to his existence in her life. A girl whom he had betrayed in such a vile way.

He felt the urge to confess his crime to her like a sudden and uncontrollable gag reflex, but he somehow managed to stay silent. She had just reached a balance after another difficult day, he could not ruin her night vomiting onto her his confession. He had already done what he had done, telling her now couldn't cancel the past. But he could let her have a serene night of sleep before exposing her to the ugly truth, and he was definitely going to do that. The urge to purge himself from his sin by confessing it to his victim was pure egoism, and he would at least avoid her that.

Let her sleep, he thought, in the morning she will be still here, ready to discover how undesirable and inadequate her "you" can be.

-What's going on?- she asked, looking at him with a very concerned expression.

Vincent cursed himself for being such an open book to her and forced his face into something similar to a smile.

-I'm just tired- he lied, hoping that she was too sleepy or too unfamiliar with him to believe those words. Victoria looked not fully convinced, but she yawned and said that she was quite weary herself.

And so, they agreed to go to bed, and Vincent buried himself under the blankets, hoping that his sin would miraculously disappear during the night and, as the sunshine would enter through the window, he would wake up to discover he was a less stupid and wiser man who would never steal something as private as a DNA sample from a person who had been closed in a laboratory and experimented on for years.