Chapter 10: Present Day

His hands were all over her; punching her, slapping her, grabbing at her….she could see him reach for the belt, raising it over his head….her eyes widened as she watched it inch closer and closer to her…

Jo shot up from the bed, barely able to breathe as she clutched at the blankets whimpering against the memories in her dreams. She closed her eyes again and this time she saw him standing on the stairwell of the hospital she had called home for the last five years…..he had found her. After five years of running, he had found her….. She didn't understand how he had….

Jo felt the tears stinging at the corners of her eyes as it all came rushing back to her; the punishments, the beatings, the belt….

She clutched further at the blanket, drawing her knees up to her chest as she felt the harsh sobs escape her lips. Within seconds Alex was there, Jo wasn't sure where he had come from, his arms wrapping around her.

"Hey now, it's okay," he whispered, pulling her into his arms. "Shh, it's okay, baby girl. I'm here. It was just a dream," he whispered, rocking her in his arms.

Jo looked up at him, managing the tiniest of smiles for her boyfriend through her tears. He was being so loving, so supportive and attentive to her, and he didn't even know what she was crying about, not really anyways.

Alex smiled back, using his thumb to brush away the last few remaining tears from her eyes. "You want to talk?" he asked and Jo nodded slowly, curling into Alex's arms. He held her tightly against him, stroking her hair.

"His name is Paul Stadler," she whispered, not really looking at Alex as she played with the hems of the blanket she was still holding. "We got married when I was 21, shortly after I finished my bachelor's degree," she began and she could feel Alex placing a kiss to her shoulder.

"At the time, I was still living in my car. I was in college and working on campus but I couldn't afford campus housing and my scholarships didn't cover housing so I just…we met on campus, and we started dating and he was so nice, Alex. He was kind and attentive and I thought I loved him, you know? When he found out about my car, he immediately brought me back to his place and he proposed the following week and we were married within 3 months. It all just happened so fast…."

"When did it start?" asked Alex, and Jo sighed, closing her eyes as she thought about the first time he hit her. "About a year after we were married," she whispered.

"When he first hit me, he apologized. He said he was angry and I just...I believed him. It sounds stupid, I know, but I did, and then it happened again and again and eventually….he just stopped apologizing," she said, shuddering at the thought of all the punishments she had endured for nearly two years.

She stopped talking, her fingers playing endlessly with the hem of the blanket, as she thought about what her life had been like then. She could feel Alex placing gentle kisses on her shoulders as she spoke, but she wasn't paying much attention at this point. She took a shaky breath, trying to make sure she was in control before speaking again.

"I hated myself, back then, Alex. I thought he was right. He told me over and over again that I was garbage, that I was trash, and I just….I thought I was. I thought I deserved it every time he hit me, every time he punished me, every time he struck me with his belt or a strap….." her voice drifted off as the tears started pouring out faster and faster. She could feel Alex's grip tighten around her waist, his voice soft and soothing when he spoke into her ear.

"You are none of that, Jo. You are not garbage, do you hear me?" he whispered, turning so she was facing him and she nodded, snuggling up to his chest. "I know that now," she whispered. "But for so long, I didn't and that just made it….easier to let him hurt me."

"When did you leave him?" he asked and Jo swallowed hard, tears burning her eyes as she thought about the events of that week and that night and everything that had happened to her.

"After he almost killed me."