After the show, we went backstage again. We all just walked to the backroom together, but somehow, just as I was turning around to see Dan and talk to him about what the hell was going on with him, I realized he was gone. I tried to go looking for him, but our little energetic gumball Clive bumped into my chest and splashed beer on my shirt. I wasn't so annoyed about the shirt as it was probably going to the dumpster soon anyway, but more of Clive always getting on my nerves as much as I tried to keep my cool with him. I was the only kind person to him out of the band. But right now I didn't feel so fucking kind, because I needed to find my self-destructive best friend.

"Go away, Clive."

"Oh dear, I'm sorry Phil! I really didn't mean that to happen. Here, let me dry it for you. I can wash it if you like too. But it's probably going to leave a mark...", Clive began to ramble. I took a hold of the back of his hair and bent his head so he looked at me properly.

"Clive, fuck off! I don't care about the fucking shirt, I want you to get the Hell out of here. I never want to see your fucking face here ever fucking ever! No one does, so do us a big fucking favour like you always like to do and leave us the fuck alone, you little sticky shit!" I shouted in his face and yanked his hair back so he would get the point and move out of my way. I strode off so fast I didn't see his expression, but I was sure it was anything but happy. But I think PJ and Chris were silently celebrating. Right now I just needed to make sure Dan was okay.

I walked into our managers room by habit, but there was only our lovely little, or not so little, but quite large, manager. She was fricking tall. "Hey Lisa, sorry to bother you, but I was just wondering if you knew where Dan went", I asked her innocently. She looked up from her laptop and simply shook her head. "Sorry, nope. Better find him quick. The cars are coming in five minutes. Tell the others that too."

"Yeah, fine. Okay, see ya", I said and got out, closing the door behind me. I walked the dim hallway. There was just one room that was the restroom. I looked into there, but there was just some random guy pissing there. I huffed beginning to get quite frustrated and anxious. But just as I was going back to the lounge, there he was, by the doorway. But with a stray girl with brown hair that was all over the place and dark lips. Her hair wasn't the only thing that was all over the place but her hands on Dan too. Dan looked like he had drunk at least five beers already and giggled with the girl by his side at some stupid joke she had said.
"Why don't we find a room where I can do wonders on this sweet, little body", she whispered dirtily in his ear and squeezed his ass very obviously. He connected his lips with hers and cupped her dark skinned cheeks in his hands.

There was a strange pull inside me that made me want to go straight to the girl and rip her claws off of him and take him somewhere safe. Instead of acting like a lunatic again I asked him: "What's going on?" Dan's eyes focused on me and hardened. "None of your business. When are the cars coming?" he asked coldly. "In five", I said no bite in my voice, because I was so stunned by the way he acted. He smirked at the girl and they went outside to wait. I watched them go and then turned to the guys with confusion in my eyes.

"What was that just?"

"Dan's finally getting how this works", Chris chuckled while cleaning a piece from the drum set. He never fucking too anything seriously. PJ looked more worried and met my gaze. "I don't know, but I don't like it. It doesn't look good", he said. I ran my hand through my hair with a deep sigh. Fuck this was getting bad. I rubbed my eyes trying to fight a headache off.

"And I think I saw him have a fix with her", he added.

That's it.

I went straight over to the parking lot, but there they were already getting in the car and speeding off. I watched them leave in frustration. The other car's driver waved at me to go inside. I glared at him and got back into the lounge to tell the others that we had to go. Hopefully I would get to Dan at the hotel, but I was seriously doubting it.

It became a thing for Dan to wear sexy lingerie on our gigs. It was weird, but people seemed to like that. We got more people watching us now as we were talked about on every magazine and news paper. Everyone wanted see the seductive oddball that Dan had become. You would think he would get called transsexual or gay for wearing women's lingerie even though I know everyone should be able to wear whatever they wanted to without getting questioned about it, but it was strange that no one in this society still did that to Dan. Maybe they always knew that Dan was pretty edgy and daring. Though that wasn't really the Dan I knew from before.

Also, I knew that this wasn't healthy for him. Nobody else knew what had happened to Dan, but we did and we all agreed that this strange act had to be derived from that incident. It couldn't be a good way to deal with it.

After every show Dan also hooked up with lots of people. They got to a room and did God knows what. There were usually three girls that were hanging off on him, sometimes guys too which was kinda daring for his situation as well. I could have imagined it being harder for him to be with guys after Keith. I just hoped it would stop after the tour.

Tonight was the last gig for a while. Dan was dressed in sexy red. Even his lips were dark red. We didn't mention it anymore as there was no use. His thigh-highs were sultry black still. I couldn't help myself from looking at him. I think I bi, so of course him looking the way he did made me feel a little bothered, but what could I do? He was my best friend. No way was I going to come onto him. Besides what he needed was a friend, not a hook up. I didn't want become a one night-stand either.

The music sounded good. We played well. The crowd was crazy as always, but especially now that it was the last gig of our tour. The next planned tour was probably in three years time. So it would be quite the long time.

Everything was going so good. Dan was on the jut of the stage between the audience singing his heart out. But then someone from the crowd reached their hand out to Dan with the hundreds of others, but this one managed to properly touch him. It properly like stroked down Dan's right leg all the way from his thigh to his ankle. It might have not been that big before and Dan wouldn't have done nothing else than walk away, but not this time. Something snapped in him.

"Don't fucking touch me!" he sneered at the guy half way through the song and kicked his hand away from him. It was a real kick too. And only after that Dan walked away next to us. His singing was colder, more vicious. But I don't think the others could really hear that fortunately. But I knew Dan and I could hear the minor change in his tone. The crowd still saw what happened.

Thankfully it was over soon. Overall I had enjoyed it as the rests of the people, but my concern for Dan's well being was only heightened.

Once the show was over we thanked everyone and such and went to backstage. I waited for Dan to get his girls or guys and get into a room with them, but this time he came with us to the lounge. I had laid down onto the sofa and I had to make room for Dan to sit.

"Are you alright? I saw that guy like... touch you", I told him and decided to properly sit up and face him. This could just be the moment he would spill the beans hopefully. "I'm fine. He was a jerk, but I'm fine", he snapped at me, not looking at me but the wall.

"You don't seem fine. I think we should talk about everything that has-", I tried to suggest but Dan cut me off. "When I say I'm fine, Phil, I'm fucking fine! Stop fucking harassing me with the questions, okay? I don't need your help!" he yelled and stood up. "Dan, please. You're clearly not. I'm not trying to harass you. But you do need help you wanted it or not", I admitted to him and grabbed his hand gently. "Please, Bear", I pleaded.

I saw hesitation in his brown eyes that were turned into a frown. But the frown was beginning to break, but his eyes were beginning to water and lips quiver. I took a hold of his other hand too and begged him to understand with my eyes.

"I don't want you to hurt. Please, let me help you, bear", I told him quietly. I stepped slightly closer to wrap him in a hug, but just as I was doing so, his eyes turned cold instantly and the vulnerability on his face got hidden behind a harsh expression.

"No. Leave me alone."

That night with Dan's hotel room was next to mine, I heard bed creaking till four am.