The Rebuke
After Matt's breakdown, as he and Aphasia sat in their car driving, he asked, "Do you think that we should do this tonight?" She glanced at him. "I just mean… when we go to do intake, they'll want to hold me for 72 hours and monitor me and talk to me. If something else like that happens, we'll miss our anniversary."
"Well, Matt, this is more important."
"Nothing is more important. It's the most important day of the year. It's the most important day of my life. Could we please, just wait?"
She pulled over and flashed the blinkers and sighed, "What could we do in the meantime? I can't bring you back home to Mattie. What if this happens again? We're lucky that he didn't really understand what was happening before I put him in the nursery."
"I wasn't going to hurt him or you."
"Seeing it could be hurtful. I don't know, Matt. I know that you love April 2nd, but…"
"Maybe Stevie could watch him for a while? Or Jane?"
"I don't know Jane that well to leave Mattie with her for an extended period."
"A few days at best.."
"Stevie seemed to have something really important going on tonight, though. I think he and the wife are hashing some things out or something."
"Then, I can go there. The guy owes me a couple of nights on his couch, at least."
"Matt… You think that I would prefer that something like that happens in front of someone else's kids, instead of mine? Maybe, we can come spend time with you there for the anniversary?"
"No. Just… We'll skip it…" He sadly stared out of the window into the darkness.
Aphasia texted Stevie: Sorry to bother you again… Is it possible for us to borrow the RV? We'll pay for maintenance.
It didn't take too long for him to reply: It's all yours. Is he okay?
Phai: We'll be by tonight, if that's not asking too much?
Stevie: Yeah… Text when you get here. We had a situation earlier, as well.
Phai: Thank you! I'll explain when we get there.
Stevie: See you soon.
Whenever they got there, Stevie met them outside with the keys to the RV. "Our anniversary is coming up. Matt is probably going to have to stay in the hospital, just for a bit. We're stuck between not wanting to miss it and not wanting to have a repeat of tonight in front of Mattie."
"Awww, well… Cheri and I both know about mental episodes, and like I said, what's mine is y'all's. It's gassed up, but there's not food in there. I can bring something out, though. Y'all look exhausted."
"It was a very tiring night," Aphasia said. "I've got to get back home to Mattie. Shane's with him now."
"You don't look like you can drive. Have Shane bring him by and we'll put him up in Cowboy's room for the night so y'all can rest."
Aphasia hugged him tightly as Cheri came outside, hugging herself in her sweater, "Hey… Is everything alright?"
Aphasia smiled and waved, "I'm so sorry about all of this. We won't be in your way, I promise."
"We have plenty of room in the house, you know? It's a big place."
Stevie approached her and said softly, "Shane's gonna bring Mattie by, so they won't have to do any more travelling tonight, but they're gonna just sleep in the RV. She can't really leave him alone, in case he has another attack."
"But, it's cold out here," Cheri said. "The walls are pretty solid. You two need to come on inside. The kids are asleep. I promise, it won't be an issue." Stevie sighed. He thought that she was going to have problems with this, but he remembered that even though she could be hesitant to do radical work, she was extremely charitable. They followed her into the house and she showed them the room that Stacie used to sleep in, "Sometimes, it's a guest room. I'll have to grab towels for the bathroom and covers for the bed…"
"I'll do that," Stevie volunteered.
When he rushed off, Aphasia said, "Cheri, thank you for this kindness. I'm sorry that we interrupted at a bad time earlier. Over the past year, we got really used to being able to call on Stevie. He's always the MVP, you know?"
"Not as well as you know," she said and shrugged her shoulders. "It's the least I can do. I haven't forgotten and never will forget that you two came to my rescue before. I know that you two seem to forget, because you help so many people. It's only right that somebody ought to help you when you run into some issues…" Stevie came back with supplies and handed them off to Aphasia. She smiled up at him gratefully, for a little bit longer than Cheri was comfortable with. Whenever they went into the room, Cheri headed back towards theirs and Stevie followed after her.
"Are you sure that this is alright? You seemed ready to break up with me again earlier for accidentally answering the phone…"
"That was for wanting to leave when I needed you, but I'm not going to stick them in an RV when Matt's having a breakdown and she's too tired to drive. I don't resent them that much."
"I didn't know that you resented them any much…"
She turned, very quickly and said, "Stevie, tonight drained every bit of fight I have in me, okay? Can we just not, alright?"
"I don't want to fight. I'm sorry about tonight. I didn't have any control of the room and I forgot the script once Cowboy started probing. He mentioned dying and I think he heard you say it when we were whispering…"
"You're right. Everything that happened tonight was my fault."
"That's not what I…" She walked away. He rubbed his hands through his hair, then Aphasia came back out of the room and he turned in the direction of the sound.
"I'm gonna wait outside for Mattie. I just want to hold him. He's had a long night, too." Stevie nodded but went to join Cheri.
.
The next morning, Stevie found Aphasia and Mattie sleeping on the couch, but he didn't bother them. The children would do that soon enough. Speaking of which, he had breakfast to make for a full house.. She woke up at some point that he was working on that, "Hey, I ended up just keeping Mattie with me like my teddy bear. I don't think it hit me how difficult seeing Matt like that was until after I had a chance to just sit there. He went to sleep fresh out of the shower. I held Mattie for hours before I drifted off."
"It's a hard thing to see… and a hard thing to go through. I don't envy either of you for last night."
"Oh? You seemed to have something going on last night, yourself. Are you and Cheri okay? Like, you two are working on you two, right?"
"Yes, but we're not okay. Last night, we had to talk to the kids about something and I can't go into detail right now, but I fucked that shit up, like majorly. I answered the phone, I was considering leaving, I forgot the script…"
"Yikes. Sorry, Man. I didn't mean to add to whatever all that was. I didn't know what to do."
"I get it. Cheri gets it. But…"
"She's understandably upset that you answered the phone at a bad time and considered leaving, no less."
"I'm honestly too stupid to think on my own. I keep replaying last night, like how am I so bad at being this woman's husband? She means everything to me and I can't get things right."
"I think you're just nervous, because you never loved her any less, but somewhere along the way, she temporarily gave up on you. She made you leave and you didn't really do anything wrong. You're scared that it could happen again, so you overthink your actions, and that's normal and it's okay. Just, always be honest with her and always say what you mean and make sure that you're caring about her, too. If Matt had answered a phone during something important, I don't know, Man - I'd be pissed. She's better than me, because I wouldn't have invited us in. As a matter of fact, I'd have told you to sleep in the RV with us."
"She's a very caring person. In my rants about our relationship, did I ever tell you about the first time that she held me?"
"I think so. You got your ass whipped for the gajillionth time, before you learned how to fight."
"I know I didn't use those words!"
"You got in a fight and lost, like that time I beat you up and that time the other dude bested you…"
"Um, yes - I lost fights when I was younger, but I got jumped that day, trying to defend her! And she held me and I was all busted up and she wanted to go get me help, but I asked her to stay and hold me and she did. She ended up losing the feeling in her feet and whenever she walked me to my room, kept asking me if I was okay. We fussed some, got really mad at each other for no reason, but the next day, I had this handwritten apology on this pink paper with hearts and butterflies on it. 'I'm sorry that I got you beat up. I was so upset because I know I'm not worth it. I hope that you don't hate me for making that happen to you. XOXO."
"Wow. Did you tell her that it wasn't her fault?"
"No. I told her that I'd forgive her if she held me again, and I touched her butt when she did."
"Gross."
"I was a teenager!" He grabbed some plates, "And she was hot. She was beautiful. She had a nice voice. She always smelled good. Her skin was super soft…"
"Ummm… You realize that adult you is getting a boner over kid her?"
"I'm not getting a boner! I'm just trying to justify my awful behavior as a young person. For what's it worth, I told her that I thought that she was worth it. I told her that I wouldn't have done it if I didn't think that she was. And when she tried to make me promise never to get beat up over her again, I just said that I didn't plan to get beat up over her that time. Anyway, after that - she began to try to curb her reactions to things. She began to noticeably alter how she handled stuff. Whenever they asked her about her getting her temper in line, she said in group, in front of everybody, "I don't want to see Stevie get beat up over me again, so I try not to provoke any fights, so he won't have a reason to try to defend me."
"Whoa. You never told me that one," Aphasia said.
"It's something that I think about a lot. Whenever we see these deaths on tv or on the computer. Whenever we witness something racist, whether blatant or some microaggression, I always wonder - if years ago when she barely even really knew me, she stifled herself to keep me cool headed, how can I possibly think that she's not doing the same thing now, now that she loves me?"
"You're still fighting for her."
"She's still worth it." He passed her a plate.
.
By the time Mercedes called, Aphasia and Matt had gone to pick up some things for his stay in the RV for the next few days and left Mattie with Stevie and the kids, who Stevie asked to try to let Mommy get some sleep. Cheri slept through breakfast, him leaving her a note about taking the kids to pick up Mercedes and to call him if she needed him, and them getting back to the house with Mercedes in tow.
While the children played, Mercedes told Stevie all about Sam's thoughts. She hadn't spoken to him about it when she was last over, but wasn't sure how much of it Cheri told him. She got her side out, then told him about Sam's most current response to her bringing the subject back up. "That's fucked up," Stevie said.
"I'm not overreacting?"
"I'm the worst person to ask that question. Do you know what my threshold of overreacting is?" He laughed, "I think that Sammy feels like he's doing the right thing. I agree with him to a certain extent. I'm actually relieved that Cheri doesn't like to do this stuff. I've seen Aphasia get spat in the face at. I've seen Jane get roughed up. I mean… If Cheri were out there, doing all of that, I'd be on death row, right now."
"Over spit?" Mercedes asked.
"Do you think it was friendly spit? Someone does that, it is one of the most violent things that they can do short of actually causing you physical harm and it is done with the intention to do harm to you, deeper than physical. To do you emotional harm. It is similar to a threat of violence, but reminiscent of times in which anything could be done to black bodies without repercussion. It is like saying to someone, I wish that I could do you harm and get away with it. I hope that you do something drastic for what I just did so that I can have an excuse. I should know, I have spit on a lot of people in my short life."
"What can I do about Sam?"
"Forgive him before he can't forgive you," Stevie said.
"Can I ask you a personal question?"
"Always."
"When this thing drove you and Cheri apart, was it because of unforgiveness?"
"No. It was a lot of things, but that wasn't one of them. We wanted to love each other really deeply and really strongly and we did, for a long time, then we had kids and we wanted to love them just as much as we loved each other… And we ended up coming to very different conclusions of how to best do that, and you know now from experience, that even if you can't agree on anything else in this world, that has to be number one. I thought I was making the world safer for our kids, she thought I was bringing more trouble."
"What changed? That you two came together?"
"We were still doing everything that we'd done before, but we were doing it apart. That was really stupid and we missed out on so much."
"And now, you're going the route that you don't think makes the world safer for the kids…"
"No. I'm taking a break, not quitting, and that's for Cheri's benefit."
"Because she has a pill problem?"
"What? No. Why did you say that?"
"That's what Stacie thinks."
"Cheri don't have no pill problem. She hates taking pills. She has to take everything that she's taking. Tell Stacie to shut the fuck up."
"Sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned it."
"Stacie has been hard on Cheri every since I got out of the institution. Everybody tells me that she was never hard on her before then, but I wasn't there, so I can't say. I think her 'protect my family' kicked in and she doesn't get the dynamic that we have. If Stacie ever told Joe to 'fucking drop dead' or even called him a 'ass sucking nitwit,' she would pray for forgiveness everyday, so if she hears Cheri say it, she feels like that's uncalled for. Like, she never even asks what I did to get called an ass sucking nitwit."
"That was a HUGE moment on the show, you know? Cheri was super hurt when Stacie told the confessional that she was abusive and always verbally berating you."
"They don't show you in the editing… I busted out laughing when she said that! Then, I bothered her until I got kisses and she left the room and said, "Get your shit together," and they went from 'ass sucking nitwit, to Stacie's shocked and horrified face to Cheri leaving the room! It wasn't what it was made out to be, I promise."
"God help Stacie if she ever hears Mama T talking to you!" Mercedes joked.
"Mama T told me that I can gobble crow's dick, just last Tuesday."
"Stacie wants her family to be like her inlaws' family. But, she's literally the only one who married up!"
"Speak for yourself. I married a goddamned goddess."
"Yeah, well - she's from dysfunctional stock and the trauma is still a part of her. I'm definitely from dysfunctional stock and all of my selected family are, as well. Stacie married this wholesome cupcake that makes people smile and gives hugs, kisses, prayers and wishes to strangers."
"I think she married a weird creep," Stevie said.
"Awww."
"Never liked him. I think it was the dreads. You have to constantly question a person who chooses to wear white people dreads. Tell me that when you touched those, they felt the same as Shane's."
"They have different hair textures."
"Yeah. Joe has hair texture that shouldn't do that ever. Also, why is he always smiling? He's like creepy Mr. Rogers, with stupider clothes."
"None of this means anything to me, but I happen to know from multiple references that everyone loves Mr. Rogers!"
"They wouldn't if he was creepy. I said Joe was like CREEPY Mr. Rogers!"
Whenever Matt and Aphasia got back, she took Mattie and left Matt there. He just joined the two outside. "Does Cheri always just hang around at home looking fly as hell?" Aphasia asked when she came out.
"Everyday," Stevie said.
"Sis got her slay game on point. I asked her if she had plans and she said she was the plans. I ain't mad at her!" Mercedes laughed as Matt gave Mattie kisses before they left.
"Sooo… Matt, you're hanging out at Stevie's, now? What the what?"
"Oh, I'm… Well - I'm not ashamed. I have some emotional distress to sort through, and Stevie has been kind enough to let me give my family some space and reside in the RV until after our anniversary on the 2nd. Hopefully, I don't have another panic attack before then."
"Matt, I don't know, Man. What she described didn't sound like a panic attack. It sounded like you had a nervous breakdown and a panic attack hit you while that was happening."
"Oh," Mercedes said. "I'm sorry, Matt. I shouldn't have pried. I thought it was like a boys day or something."
"Nope. Good old fashioned I put too much on myself and crumbled under the weight. Promptly on the 3rd, I'm going to go in for observation. Phai wants to take me to some place in Utah that's supposedly really good. She's worried that after our legal battles with two different institutions on behalf of Cheri that maybe we'll run into someone who hates us."
"Can't call the cops, can't go to the hospital, all because you believe in rights and justice," Stevie complained.
"I saw Dre," Matt said. Stevie and Mercedes both turned in his direction, but he didn't look at either of them. "She was plain as day, but different. She was dead. Her head was busted open. Her face was blue, like she had been in the morgue, but she was still bleeding and she couldn't breathe and when I saw her, I couldn't breathe. And she was crying and I started crying. And she was dying and I felt like I was dying."
"Survivor's remorse?" Mercedes wondered.
"That's Jane. I wasn't even there."
"That regret, then. That you weren't there for one of the worst moments of her life," he stared off into the yard. "She needed you and you feel like if you were around, maybe something else could have happened, but maybe not. Maybe… This was all going to happen, no matter what. Maybe if you had been there, you'd be dead too, right now. And seeing how hard it was for Phai to handle what happened to you, I know she couldn't handle that. I miss AC. I will never be able to get over her death, but Matt, you have got to know that you are significant in a way that many of us wouldn't be able to even function without you. Namely, your wife and kid."
"They're going to function just fine while I'm getting help."
"No, they won't. They'll do their best, but it won't be fine," Stevie said. "Y'all… Cheri is… sick."He took a swallow. "I don't want to say too much, as she wants to be the one to grant the access to this information, but… She's sick and it's bad and I was gone while she was getting sicker. She doesn't have a pill problem. She's sick. Extremely sick. She did her best and now, she needs me and I would be here even if I didn't know that she was sick, because doing my best without her isn't functioning, it was just surviving."
Mercedes reached over and squeezed his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Stevie. Is she going to be okay?"
"We're not sure. We were telling the kids when Phai called…"
"Oh, shit." Matt said. He reached over and squeezed Stevie's other shoulder.
Stevie sighed, "Whenever we talked, I would be so angry that we were apart. I was angry mostly at myself, but I think that even though I never wanted to say it, I was angry at her too, for making me leave. I responded to her with anger. I was short with her, even though she'd be being nice to me. I was doing so much. She was just at home, sick, taking care of our kids most of the time, working, having sitters and tutors, travelling with them, photo shoots, listening to their stories and showing off their artwork… I was… I mean, helping save lives, but missing out on their lives and missing out on maybe Cheri's last good moments of hers…"
"Damn… She's sick, like that?" Matt asked, sadly taking his hand back.
"You kept telling me to fix it. AC told me. Phai told me. Mason told me. The only person who wasn't on my case about it was Jake, and everybody else didn't really know, but I could always tell that they knew that something wasn't right." He told Mercedes, "If I were you, I'd forgive him and try not to miss anymore moments."
… Of course, that was before Sam showed up and said what he said to her in front of them when, 1. She didn't even realize that he was ready to go! 2. That was just messed up to say, no matter how he was feeling about her spending time there.
.
By Sunday afternoon, she had spoken to her former pastor, wondering if she would be wrong to leave Sam's church. He thought that would be the beginning of the end. Blah blah blah, men's egos. Blah blah blah a woman's place. She cut him off and asked, "Can I just skip right to the part where you tell me what to do to accept his obvious lack of support? Because, I already know everything that you just said and probably everything up to this part: How can a man expect support but not expect to support? Because, honestly pastor, I'm not interested in one-sided relationships of any sort. I am too old, love myself too much and have three children that I believe benefit only from seeing healthy, mutual relationships."
"Perhaps I could speak with him. I haven't seen him in a while…"
"Can you do that today? I don't even want to go home to him, if we're being honest," she said. If she was being immature, she didn't care. The number of times she'd been present when her sighted friends have gone off, jumped in their cars and left to clear their heads, she was allotted this time. Did Sam even know some of the tales of woe that she had heard from scorned women? He had himself a sweet deal and she wasn't going to tolerate…
Actually, you know what? - She was still willing to compromise before he thought he'd be Mr. Big & Bad in front of Matt and Stevie!
They had all spent hours telling each other about some of their biggest secrets and significant issues. What was she supposed to do? SENSE that he was done loading up the kids and everything? Shit. She couldn't see and she was a little bit off kilter, so she wasn't as aware of the sounds around her. Talmbout some "You sleeping in the RV? Muffugga, IF we were fighting, YOUUUUUUU'D be the one sleeping in the gotdamn RV…
"Mercy?" The pastor said.
"Huh?"
"Lost you for a moment there. I never know, because you don't have a spaced out face."
"Oh, yeah.. I will call Sam." She had at least heard him.
.
Sam asked her if she could forgive him. That was a loaded question. Of course, she could. She loved him and she wanted things good. But, she wasn't going to move on, let it go and keep carrying on like none of it happened. She was definitely going to forgive him, but she wasn't going to do it today and she wasn't about to just say "yes," without all of the qualifiers to go with it. Sam had it too easy, if he thought that his recent treatment was going to just be accepted and forgiven without further conversation!
He arrived at the church and Mercedes was with the pastor and the kids, with the kids playing in a nearby field, getting their Sunday's best covered in filth. Sam and her pastor hugged tightly and quickly caught up before the pastor repeated much of the things that he had said to Mercedes and much of what she hadn't let him say. He had stuff to add, as well. The two of them began to take a walk around the church grounds. Sam started the conversation with, "I'm so sorry to keep you here today. I'm sure you'd love to be heading home to be with your family for the holiday…"
"Sam, the reason that I wanted to talk to you today is because, I don't think that Mercedes has ever had something like this happen before, and as I'm sure you've realized by now - she's not perfect when she's facing new problems."
"I'm not sure what problems you mean, Pastor…"
"That she wants to do something and you've told her that she can't."
Sam chuckled and squinted, "I think that you and I both know that there isn't a thing in the world that I could keep her from, if she really wanted to do it."
"Okay, then if that's the case, then just tell her that you support her and don't worry about it."
"But, what if she does do it? Pastor… Did she tell you what she wants to do?"
"Yes, she did. It's very similar to things that many members of my church do all of the time, including myself. I tried to tell her that you might not understand why this is this important to her. To be honest, most white people can't, whether or not their spouses or children are affected by the things that people are trying to change."
Sam frowned, "I understand just fine. The problem is… I wouldn't send my children to do this kind of work, either. Not because it doesn't affect them, but because they have limits that many of the workers don't have. I wouldn't expect my friend Artie to take his wheelchair and go. I wouldn't expect the deaf woman at church to go, either…"
"Where is it that you believe she wants to go? She said that she was trying to start a new talk show."
"Mercedes NEVER just wants to talk about something! She always wants to get involved! She can't get involved! They are starting to run people over with their cars at these events! People who can see are having trouble dodging vehicles."
"Then, whether or not she can see wouldn't help that situation."
"Right, but whether or not she's there can."
"I understand how you feel, Sam. I promise that I do. When my daughter joined the military, I didn't want it to happen. She joined right after 9/11 and the country was in turmoil. I wanted to forbid her, but she's always been the type to do what she believed in, where or not anybody else did. Mercedes is the same way, and unlike my daughter, Mercedes will torture herself about not receiving the support that she craves. She's always been a little insecure and sometimes, she's very insecure."
"I appreciate you taking this time. We've gotta go." The ride home was tense, for Sam. Mercedes was simply talking with the kids. Heaven missed their church, but said that he really liked this church because of a "lotta lotta dancing."
.
Joe greeted everyone as they came inside. Stacie was fetching drinks and kept changing the incense. Whenever Sam and Mercedes finally showed up, she was relieved to see that they at least didn't seem to be fighting, or whatever their version of "fighting" was. She had Christian themed Easter baskets for the children, along with plenty of hugs and kisses and requests for photos now that all of the kids were here.
Stevie was with Mama T, in the backyard, watching all of his run around and Sam joined the two of them. Tanisha forced a smile, and confessed, "We're out here to sneak beers, so if you have some kind of holy man mission, you take that shit right on back inside."
Stevie stared at him for a while and asked, "Are y'all still fighting?"
Sam's eyes widened and Tanisha reminded him, "Tells me everything. Yes, even your business, if you show it in front of him. Shouldn't have gone to his house trying to drag everybody."
"That's not what I was doing."
"Oh. From how it was told to me, sounded like you got really salty and nasty with everyone there because you're having problems at home that are also your fault, but it's none of my business," she said.
Sam smiled and pointed out, "I'm glad that you realize that, so I get to skip saying it."
"Say whatever you want. I sure am," she told him. Sam got up and left. He heard her mumble, "I'm not even sure why he sat down over here, if we're being honest. I haven't fucked with him since that tattoo bullshit a few years back."
Stevie cackled, "Are you serious?"
Sam went to where the kids were and chatted with them for a while, then looked around and wondered where Cheri was. He went inside and found her when they almost bumped into each other as she came from the bathroom. "Oh, hi!" She jumped and covered her chest.
"Hey, Sam. You okay?" She wondered.
"Kinda on everybody's shit list…" He said.
"I thought that you didn't cuss. My ears feel offended," she said, with a serious face.
"Sorry…"
"I'm playing. Have you met my husband? Should've. I think you two came out of the same hoohah." She fiddled with her hair and pointed to the bathroom, "You trying to get by me?"
"No. Actually, I was looking for you…" She looked worried about that news. "I saw Matt at your place last night. He and Stevie and Mercedes were talking, kinda hush hush. You know what that was about?"
"Did you ask them?" She asked.
"Everyone's being kind of secretive with me because of this whole Mercedes crusades thing. You… Get my standpoint, right? I mean, you don't support Stevie and he still does it, but…"
"I do support Stevie. I never told Stevie that he couldn't do what he does. I told Stevie that I couldn't handle it, for a while - and I didn't. We did our own thing and when we were tired of that, he put it on hold. But, I would never tell Stevie that he can't do something or tell him that I won't support him."
"How is saying that you can't deal with it not not supporting him?"
"Well, I don't speak to him about it. I don't get involved with it. I don't help out with anything or let him flake out of commitments such as picking up the kids or whatever else is currently going on… But, I don't come to people's houses and trash talking them in front of their friends and you didn't even realize that Stevie and I were going through what we were going through until he flat out told you, so while I may not be 'supportive' as you see it, I'm not destructive to him, either."
"Everyone is acting like I came over and threw a fit!"
"Look, I let you make it when you put Stevie on blast at that dinner, about me running late. I figured that you coming over and taking jabs at people for sleeping in a damn good RV while trying to attack your wife for daring to have interests of her own is worth a clapback," Cheri said and looked over his shoulder at Kissy. "Ugh… Y'all brought the dog in. I'ma be in the guest room."
"Sorry… You hadn't been around in months. We forget."
"No big deal.." He followed her to the guest room and she looked perplexed, "Dang… They really got you feeling some kind of way if you're trying to hang out with me. We never talk. I don't even know what favorite show is, and I talk to people about shows all of the time."
"So, you know everybody's favorite show?" he asked, laughing.
Without a pause, she answered, "Stacie's is This Is Us, Joe doesn't watch TV, but likes movies and really into the God's Not Dead series, Mercedes likes books, but will listen to The View and The Real because her show is similar, Dwight still watches SNL for some godawful reason, Mama T is mourning the fact that her favorite show Scandal is about to end, but she watches so many things, that I doubt that can possibly be her favorite show, Stevie's is Game of Thrones, Heaven's is Paw Patrol…"
"Okay… Okay…"
"I know Joe's folks' too, if you're just bored," she said. "You strike me as a crime drama guy, SVU or NCIS or something…" she said.
"Better Call Saul…"
"What." She stared at him and he went into the bedroom and sat on the foot of the bed. "That is not a good show, but I guess."
"Did you like Breaking Bad?"
"No. Why, is that your second?"
"No, but it's a spin off. If you didn't watch the first, you probably should, to kind of get the…"
"No, thank you."
"But, you can not only watch but star in The R Word?"
"How you gonna try to come for your own show. You created that monster. And, yes. It is well written and sensational. But, one thing that nobody at the studio ever seems interested in answering - did you part ways with them before or after Mercedes' character was killed off?" He rolled his eyes. "I'm trying to figure out how petty my bosses are!"
"I left before that happened. They were wanting to do this affair storyline and a bunch of other things that were so far away from the premise. Then, Quinn sued, and the rest was history. I didn't even know that they'd killed off the character until I got several notifications about it."
"Honestly, the actress was bad. They should have killed her off sooner."
"Why couldn't she just get tired of him and leave, since that's more true to life?" He asked, half playing.
"She'd never leave you. She'd have to die first," Cheri said, confidently. "People say that about a lot of people, but I have watched just about every Real Housewives out there, every show, movie, etc and spent so many hours observing couples. The stuff that you're going through right now - I think she's definitely taking it too far, but that's because you took it too far first and if she backs down now, she'll feel like you're minimizing the importance of her original goal. Can I be straight with you? I tell Stevie to go for it all of the time when I don't want him to."
"That's insane. Does he go for it?"
"Usually."
"But, then you told him to do something that you didn't want him to do and he did it!"
"Yeah, then I gotta live with it," she said. "I'd rather that than to have to live with him feeling like I want to keep him from things that he might enjoy."
"Do… you do the same thing with your kids?"
"Well, these are different dynamics to relationships. Mercedes isn't your child. But, yes - I do the same thing with the kids. If the kids want to do something that I don't want them to do and it isn't dangerous, I let them do it."
"Why?" he wondered.
"Why would I try to hold them back?"
"I mean… It ain't dangerous to paint on the walls, but if your kids wanted to, you'd let them?"
"Is this a world where I can't find something to put up against the wall to get them to paint on instead?" She asked. "Because, you do realize that compromise still exists, right? Such as - Honey the wall isn't for painting, but I will put this roll of paper up and you can paint on it. Then, whenever you don't want it there anymore, we'll just take the paper down. Jesus - do you just tell your kids 'no' and don't give them other alternatives?"
"No. Well, yes."
"You and Stevie were raised by the same people," she said. "Though, Stevie will at least be like, 'No, let's play catch instead,' or something. God, Man. How does one take being your child and slash or wife when you just kinda put your foot down on stuff?"
"Stevie supports you the way that you support him?" he asked. She paused then shrugged her shoulders. "See? So, I'm not the only man who puts my foot down…"
"Oh! Wait.. You meant to ask me does Stevie tell me what to do ever? No. Ever. I generally know how he's going to respond and sometimes act accordingly, but Stevie sure doesn't tell me that I can't do something."
"I said that I can't support it!" Sam corrected.
"Same thing," Cheri told him…
Stacie came to the doorway and gasped, "There y'all are! I thought you'd run off and left the radicals to be together in protest bliss or something," she joked.
Cheri reflexively said, "Ew." Then looked at Sam, "No offense. You're gross to me."
She got up and he laughed, "None taken?"
Cheri barely heard him as she told Stacie, "They brought in the dog. I've already been sick, I didn't want her messing with my allergies…"
"Yeah, I caught her pretty quick and sent her to the back playpen," Stacie said. "We're getting ready to eat. Stevie said that you might skip eating?"
"Girl, I've got to be on this certain diet…"
"Why didn't you tell me? I was operating on old faves!" Stacie complained.
"Sorry. I didn't think about it…" They both left and Sam was still seated on the bed, debating whether or not he felt like joining the fold. Joe was on his side. Joe's family were likely in the dark, so… on his side. Everybody else seemed to think that he was wrong, though. Mercedes had been nicer since he'd talked to Pastor, but he knew that they weren't "good."
"Soooo… You're not eating either?" Stacie asked, reappearing in the doorway. He jumped up and rushed behind her. "What in the world were you and Cheri talking about?"
"Just general stuff and marriage."
"Don't be talking to that girl about marriage. The last thing that you need is somebody pumping your head up to keep that fight going,"
"She didn't, for your information. She told me that I was a bad husband AND father for not being more open."
"Whoa."
"Not her exact words, but there was a lot of disdain in her eyes."
"Well, honestly, she's Stevie's gal. She probably just has a natural built in disdain in her eyes, for you."
"I can believe that."
The dinner table was set up so that husbands could be across the table from wives, meeting at Tanisha and Dwight and Joe's parents on the ends. The kids, of course had a separate table and Cheri kept a close eye on it, even though Cowboy had her back. Stacie was grateful that everybody was getting along. Even Sam and Stevie, who ended up right next to each other, with Joe on the opposite side of Stevie. Dwight, Sam, Stevie, Joe, Grandad and Daddy Hart, and their wives across the way. Stacie kept trying to get her father's attention, as he and Mama T frequently held their own little conversations and shared inside laughs. "We're talking to the whole table tonight, Mama T!" She finally cheered.
Tanisha's eyes widened and she said, "Oh. Okay. Want me to repeat it?"
Dwight quickly chimed in, "No. No, she doesn't." He leaned in close to her face and she gave him a small peck on the lips.
Stevie commented, "That's how I'm tryna be at their age."
Cheri inserted, "Well, you know… You've got plenty of time to find the right one…" He glared at her and she laughed.
Stacie turned red and said, "Come on, you two…"
Cheri waved a hand, "Everyone knows we were joking. Cornflake is enough on his own, you think he's selling himself PLUS five kids?"
"The kids are gonna be the ones that make the sale!' Tanisha said.
Stevie laughed and nodded, "Damn straight. I'm leading with the kids, to be honest."
"Is that your game?" Cheri asked, this time, seemingly, a little more seriously.
He caught it and quickly answered, "My best game is to say absolutely nothing for months and watch her throw herself at me until I'm ready to catch… Then refuse to let go."
She smiled and rolled her eyes. "Sam, what's your game?" Cheri asked.
Sam shrugged his shoulders, "What do you think, Babydoll? I haven't quite figured out what you ever saw in me."
"She can't see, so maybe that's it," Tanisha joked.
Sam pointed his fork at her, "I look just like my daddy, though. You married him…"
She whispered something to Dwight that made him blush while Mercedes answered, "I fell for Sam because he was humble, respectful of me, my wishes, my dreams, and supportive of the same. He cared about other people, protected his loved ones and did the right thing anytime that he had the chance."
Joe's mom chimed in, "We're so glad that Stacie has a couple like you in her life. When Joe first brought her around, we were nervous. You know… Kids Goggle everything…"
"Google, Mom," Joe corrected her.
"Right. My daughter used the Google and we were honestly scared."
Stacie laughed, "I couldn't even tell! You were all so nice!" Stevie almost pointed out that she complained to him for weeks that she was sure that Joe's family didn't like her, but he'd pick on her later. He was a little bit concerned about Cheri's… comments. They sounded suspicious. She was probably thinking about the cheating again. He sighed, but didn't bring it back up, until the conversation somehow came around to her asking Dwight, "So, how long after Mary passed away did it take for you to move on?" It was low, but he'd heard it, despite the many conversations at the table,
"Are you serious?" Stevie asked her. "You think it's okay to bring up my mother in front of these strangers?"
Cheri furrowed her eyebrows and tried to whisper, "Ummm.. This is a family gathering and I have the whole family here, so I was trying to segway."
"Segway? You're trying to make me feel bad!"
"Not specifically. I mean, we've already told the kids, so it is possibly already all over the place."
Tanisha stood up, "I have to go to the bathroom."
"Did you tell her?" She asked, incredulously.
"No… Wait. Which thing? Because, right now I think we might be talking two different things…"
"Which thing did you tell her?" She asked.
"At the times that it happened…"
"OH! So...Ok." She laughed and clasped her hands together.
Stacie worried and asked, "What is happening in front of my unsuspecting inlaws?"
Cheri pulled out her phone. "We had a miscommunication, so now, I'm gonna do this telephone thing." She typed something on her phone then announced softly, "The children know, but I don't want to stir anything up, so if you think bad news will prompt a loud emotional response, please don't look." She handed the phone to Stacie and Stacie dropped it, got up and left the room. Dwight reached over Mary's empty seat and around Mercedes plate to grab it and just whispered, "Oh God…" He passed it on and got up to go hug her but she shook her head and eyed the children, who seemed interested in the table suddenly.
When the phone made it back to her, and everyone was extremely quiet, trying not to be the first ones to say something and have it be the wrong thing, Cheri broke the silence. "I'm gonna go check on Stacie." She found her crying on Mama T's shoulder and stepped into her bedroom and closed the door. "Heyyy… Stace…"
Stacie shook her head and went to hug her tightly. "Why? Why didn't you tell me? I thought… I was thinking such bad things. I'm so sorry…"
Tanisha had tears in her eyes as well, "I was thinking that I could sneak some wine and wound up getting some of the worst news I have gotten in my life."
"Funny, that's how my night went when I found out, too," Cheri joked.
Stacie gasped, "Oh my God! Stevie! He has to be devastated! He can't live without you! Not that you're gonna die! I rebuke that. I rebuke that in Jesus' holy name…"
"There it is," Tanisha said and lifted her wine bottle to Stacie.
Stacie hugged Cheri again, rubbing her back, "Lord I pray that you touch my sister's body and release her from this ailment. I pray that the force of the disciples on the day of Pentecost be within my hands to heal. I pray that you give the same power that exists even in the hem of your garment…" Cheri started crying and held tightly to Stacie, and all that she was thinking was, "God, I hope that Stacie doesn't have a crisis of faith when I die…"