When Life Gives You Vodka…
…Bag Your Best Friends Girl
How had he come to become this?
He was everything he hated in this world. He was a liar, he hurt people on purpose, he ran, he hid from his troubles…
And he just spent the last three hours crying into a bottle of vodka, cuddled up to some stray cat that had come to his fire escape to get away from the snow.
This wasn't him. He lived through things, he didn't get attached and he walked away.
But all it took was one innocent and breathtakingly gorgeous little blonde and his world turned upside down. He was a mess of emotions that he did not have the knowledge to deal with and he felt like he had no one to turn too.
They'd just laugh at him – mocking him like the pathetic waste of space that he was.
He'd not felt this low since being kicked out of his home, the only difference was this time he wasn't homeless… Though that had been an easier problem to deal with than the aching in his chest.
He couldn't deny it anymore… He knew what this was – he had to be stupid not to know. But that didn't make the pill any easier to swallow.
He was in love with Butters.
Kenny McCormick had succumbed to the one thing he swore he would never do. He fell in love.
McCormick Rule Number Three: Don't get attached. Broken.
Well he'd gone and scored a bloody hatrick now hadn't he? And with the worst possible person. It wasn't that Butters was a bad person – no, Butters was the sweetest, nicest and most wholesome person Kenny knew.
And that was why he deserved better than scum like him.
Kyle would have been fine – sure he had more going for him academically, but deep down they were built from the same cloth. Kyle was just as harsh and vulgar as Kenny was – he just hid it better. Falling in love with Kyle wouldn't have been a huge problem.
But Butters, Butters wasn't like them. He was so much more… those sweet, innocent eyes – they didn't hold the darkness that Kenny's own held. Many disliked the small blonde because of his naivety, but to Kenny it was a refreshing change that made Kenny want to be a better person. Made him want to be someone worthy of a love that pure.
But he wasn't, he was tainted.
Nothing in this world could change the poison that was in his very being, his soul was blacker than black. This was why he couldn't let himself stay in Butters' life; this is why Butters had to hate him…
Because Kenny couldn't let his soul poison someone like that. He had done a lot of shitty things with this life – he'd even tried killing people; probably had actually killed people somewhere along the line – but nothing could compare to the weight of making someone like that fall for a worthless, low-life alcoholic with the emotional range of a teaspoon.
The cat mewled next to him on the bed and he reached to scratch behind her ears with a sigh, bringing his bottle to his lips an smashing it against the wall when he came up empty; sending the cat scattering off in fear.
Kenny grumbled as he pushed off the bed – even animals couldn't be around him for too long without him fucking up.
Well wasn't that just a kick in the teeth?
He stumbled towards the door, gripping the wall for support as his head spun. He probably looked a mess from crying so much but he didn't care – he wasn't drunk enough to forget.
And killing himself wasn't an option – he didn't want to risk Butters getting more dreams and worrying about him.
He located his keys and wallet, checking what money was left in there – all that was left was his food money, but right now he couldn't care less if he starved, he just wanted more alcohol. So pocketing the falling apart piece of leather, he made his way out into the cold evening air.
He was owed holiday at work, and Ruby had seen it in her heart to give him a couple of weeks off to calm his thoughts and pull himself together.
Urgh, breaking down whilst your boss was on top of you was not a highlight.
He stumbled through the streets and towards the twenty-four hour off-licence, stumbling in through the door in search of his beloved alcohol–
Only to be refused service for being 'too intoxicated'.
What the fuck was that? There was no such thing as too intoxicated. There was not intoxicated enough. And that was what he really was. Fuck! Was the whole world turning against him?!
He stomped outside, shaking his head as he pushed his hands into his pockets, normally being drunk made him happy, but he had taken a nose dive recently into the abyss of his own sadness.
"Kenny?" A female voice called out to him and he looked up to catch sight of a purple beret and matching coat. He offered up a smile but by the look on her face – it wasn't getting him anywhere.
"Hey gorgeous, haven't seen you around in a while…" He called, noting how his voice had quavered and he sighed, dropping the smile.
A distraction.
It seemed like a better idea than hiding in his bed under his covers all night, plus; if Kyle was driving down for the weekend just to try and cheer him up, then who was he to deny him? It would be rude of him when his friends were going to so much trouble for him.
And it was kind of… nice to just hang out, reminiscing on old times and just generally mucking about. But still he had been unable to even crack a smile. He didn't feel like smiling anymore, he didn't feel like a lot of things – except maybe to wake up and find this was all just some sick and twisted nightmare.
So when Stan had suggested they go out and get some movies and a drink, Butters had been quick to agree – much to the other two men's shock – because right now he wanted to just drink an forget. It almost made him laugh, they had been right it seemed; he had spent too much time around the older blonde.
He trudged down the street with them, Stan was on his left, Kyle to his right and they were talking animatedly about some show they had watched a few nights back – debating on whether or not the dynamics had been believable and true to life. He wasn't completely sure, probably because he wasn't completely paying attention.
It was as they turned the corner that Butters stopped dead in his tracks, looking up the street at the unmistakable orange clad figure outside of the store.
Nor the tell-tale pink coat of the dark haired girl beneath him.
Butters swallowed, chancing a glance towards Stan in worry; his two companions stopped and turned to look at him, probably seeing the colour drain from his face and turning their attention to where Butters was staring.
Kyle was the first to react and he flinched, muttering a curse as suddenly he had his arm looped around Stan's waist, his other covering his mouth as a string of muffled curses echoed from him.
"Just leave it dude, you'll just make an arse out of yourself."
Stan managed to break from Kyle's hand and shook his head. "No, dude! This is too far!" He hissed, making his best friend flinch and sigh. Kyle chanced a glance at Butters before turning back to his brunette friend.
"You know Kenny's going through a hard time… this is just how he copes. It's not like you and Wendy are dating at the moment – you're on a damn break, Stan." He said firmly, giving the other a meaningful look to just drop it.
Butters interest perked up at this and he turned with a worried frown. "Why is he going through a hard time? Is he okay?" Despite how much Butters was hurt by the taller blonde, he couldn't help to be worried about the way Kyle had said that.
The redhead quickly held up his hands and shook his head. "Kenny is always going through hard times… He… uh… He just found out his dad killed his cat…" He lied, groaning when Stan gave him a look that clearly said 'are you fucking serious?!'
But Butters seemed to accept the excuse nonetheless and simply sighed and shuffled his feet on the ground. He glanced up in time to see Wendy suddenly still, her eyes widening in what could only be described as surprise; he had seen enough. He shook his head and turned away. "Look, thanks for tryin'a cheer me up fella's, but… I'm just going to go home…" He gave Stan nor Kyle any time to react as he started jogging off back the way they came.
Stan narrowed his eyes as he looked at Kyle; "You can't keep defending him! One day you're going to have to admit that he's the reason all this shit is happening!" He snapped, following after Butters and leaving Kyle alone.
Kyle looked at his friend in shock before turning back towards the store and frowning when no one was there. It seemed Wendy and Kenny had left whilst they were arguing.
He would have to find Kenny in the morning and see what the fuck was going on in his mind. Kenny may have been a bit of a slut… But for the most part he usually kept away from Wendy for the sake of Stan…
Stan paced his room late into the night. He couldn't believe Kenny would do something like this. He may have his issues but he had never broken his promise to leave Wendy alone since they were kids. And he wondered why Kyle easily jumped to his aid – if the roles had been reversed, Kyle would have been the first to punch that horny little drunk!
Fucking hypocrite!
When he finally couldn't take it any more he dug in his pocket for his phone, slipping it out and hitting the first speed-dial key. Hopefully whatever they were doing would have stopped and he could give Wendy a piece of his mind!
Success! "Stan? Is that you? Oh thank god I–"
He didn't give her a chance to finish as he exploded into indignant questions; "What the hell were you doing with Kenny tonight?! I know we said we'd have a break, but one of my best friends?! That's just low!"
Stan knew Wendy well enough – so when there was a long and silent pause he flinched. He was going to get it now.
"Oh really?" The sound of her voice was not the usual comforting tone that put butterflies in his stomach – no, this was the tone that made him clench his ass in fear of making a mess.
He was in trouble.
"For your information Stan. Your best friend, as you deemed to describe him – didn't do anything wrong!" She snapped, he had never heard her defend Kenny with such a tone. For the most part they were simply amicable for his sake. "Yes, he bumped into me at the store… and yes, he did try giving me one of his lines – but do you know what happened next Stan? Did you bother to really look and see what was happening?"
Stan swallowed a lump in his throat; suddenly he didn't want to know the answer.
Suddenly he wanted the truth to be that they had been doing the nasty.
"He cried Stan! He spent the entire time crying into my shoulder and telling me he wished he could die and put everyone out of their misery!" She snapped, a door closing as she seemed to walk out of her house – probably as not to wake anyone.
Stan felt his stomach plummet at her words and he wished he could call her a liar; pretend like she was doing this to throw him off the trail…
…But Wendy wouldn't lie to him about something like this.
"W-Where is he now? Please tell me you didn't let him go home alone?" He asked, all his previous anger gone.
She sighed into the phone and he heard some movement, there was a soft sort of squeak and he just knew she had sat on the porch swing. She suddenly sounded very tired, her voice taking on a motherly tone. "No… I brought him home with me… He… Stan this isn't okay; Kenny is the kind of person who laughs everything off… but that's not who I was with tonight… All he wanted was for me to hold him and he just… he wasn't making any sense…" There was more movement, Stan could even picture it now, the way she'd be running her hand through her hair and tugging it in frustration. "He cried himself to sleep about an hour ago… I don't know what to do."
Stan groaned and shook his head, covering his eyes with his hand. "I'll get Kyle and we'll pick him up in the morning; if you don't mind watching him 'till then, of course?" He asked, suddenly feeling like a parent in a broken household… at least now he knew how his parents felt when they got divorced that one time…
"Yeah, I can do that…" She said softly, then; after a brief hesitation. "And Stan…" He gave a hum to show he was listening, his mind in chaos for how bad this had gotten. "He made me realise… how much I miss you… miss us…" she whispered and Stan felt a small smile form on his lips.
"Me too… We'll talk about it tomorrow… But right now; I've been such a jerk… and I need to focus on helping my friend."
He could hear the smile on her voice as they said their goodbyes, if all went to plan; hopefully they can salvage more than one relationship with this ordeal.
RubyNote: Okay! So, sorry for the wait - but this chapter was giving me hell... lord knows how many times I actually rewrote it/ scrapped it and started again... .
In the end I gave up and just wrote once more and have left what I had...
I'm not too sure, It's a short chapter, mainly just to explain how Kenny is spiralling downwards in this.
Next chapter has Cartman's plan unfold! I was going to add it to this one but I thought it would make it ridiculously lengthy... Anyway, Enjoy!