Disclaimer: Teen Titans isn't mine.
This chapter references some of Terra's past when she was working for Slade. Was a pretty prominent part of the show, so I assume everyone remembers it... yes, I know a lot of people have been wanting to see Beast Boy's chapter, but you know what they say, save the best for last.
Also, this one is a bit shorter than the others. I opted for Terra's character to be a bit weaker, so that means Raven doesn't have to spend as much time on her.
"Speech"
Thoughts/Telepathic speech
Do you see?
...
Can you see it? I know you can, my girl. You can see all of it. Everything. The burning city, the charred corpses. Ah yes, the skeletal faces staring out at you from within those abandoned buildings. Blank, hopeless faces. Can you see it? The fear... the loathing. Deep down, they hate you for what they did to them. But of course, they cannot show it. They cannot say it to you, or you will destroy them. Those helpless fools.
Can you feel it? They all hate you. Poor girl, I am the only one you can turn to. Such a pity. So young, such a pretty face. So spirited, so... uncontrolled. Young people need to express themselves. To rid themselves of that pent up emotion, dispel those raging hormones, but alas. You could not. Otherwise you could have destroyed everything. Everything, and then everyone would have hated you more! But fear not. It is okay. I can grant you that control. But more than that, I can give you that outlet. Can you feel it? They hate you anyway, but with all that power, they cannot possibly fight you. You can do whatever you want. Release those emotions. The anger, your own hatred for them. All of that madness, I am giving you an outlet for it.
Ah yes. And there they are. Your former teammates. Your friends. Really, girl. What could they offer you? Control? Companionship? They were unstable, emotional wrecks of teenagers just like you. Once they found out you couldn't control anything, that you were a danger to everyone, you really think they would have let you run free? No, they would have locked you away just like all of the other threats. The Titans could not afford to have liabilities running around, after all. That would ruin their public image.
What you needed was stability. Something only I could offer you. A strong, older figure who could teach you how to control yourself. To give you that control. I don't see why you still fight me. You know it's true. You know what you need. And you know I can offer it to you. Come, Terra. It does not have to be this way. I am willing to help you. I realize I may have come across as a little selfish. But in truth, I only have your well-being in mind. You need not suffer alone anymore. I can be there for you. I am your friend... your friend... friend... fri-
Terra gasped and sat up, soaked in sweat. She looked around wildly for a moment, then sighed and rubbed her shoulder.
"Never again."
It was still dark; the nights seemed to be unnaturally long nowadays. She shuddered for a moment, feeling thirsty, but as she got up, she hesitated for a moment.
What the hell was that dream about anyway? I haven't thought about that in such a long time. I try not to... obviously. Not my proudest moment. Well, not the proudest few months of my life. So why was I thinking about it?
Terra frowned and opened her door, peeking outside. Something felt off, but as far as she could see, there was nobody. It was all empty.
He's gone. He's dead! Seriously, stop thinking about him. Gosh.
She stepped outside and flinched slightly as the door closed behind her, then continued walking down the hall. All silent, all quiet. The darkness was dense and heavy, almost like water, and for some reason she found that she had trouble breathing. But then again, it was like that a lot, ever since that demon had appeared, so maybe it wasn't too unnatural. Besides, she had never liked the dark anyway. It was a little... off-putting. And now, more than ever. Just a little something, lurking in the back of her mind. But ever since she had been through that hell, with that psychopath, the little nagging voices had always been ignored. It was just something one had to learn to deal with.
Terra pursed her lips and stopped for a moment. Maybe it's the whole deal with Jinx. I mean, she and I weren't exactly that close, but... I feel kinda bad. Okay, seriously, like nobody went to check on her? We seriously left her there for that long? That's... just... ugh. She frowned and pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. They even gave me a second chance. Why not her? Can't spout out that 'life isn't fair' bullshit here. That's just garbage. So she messed up. Got a bit out of control. I should've been able to understand that, of all people. Ugh. Why didn't I just...
She shook her head and kept walking.
Do you feel guilty about it at all?
I... duh. I should have...
Should have what? Proved your friendship to her before it was too late? Before you ruined her life and let her rot in there?
"It wasn't really my fault! Okay, it kinda was. I mean, I probably could've done something about it," she muttered to herself.
So why didn't you?
"I don't know."
How are you going to make it up to her?
"I don't know that either. Like, what am I supposed to do? Give her her life back? Last I checked, I don't have control over time."
So that's that then. You'll just let it be.
Terra frowned. "I just..." she walked through the doors to the common room and moved to the kitchen. "I don't know what to do. Saving other people is so much easier."
Enlighten me. How do you save them?
"Isn't it obvious? Keep the bad guys from killing innocent people, stop the druggies, you know, all that kinda stuff."
Don't play that game with me girl. You know full well as I do that there isn't one person worth shit out in that city. All the ones who are strong enough to survive on their own just abuse and take advantage of everyone else. And all the weak ones are slaves, who won't stand up on their own whether you save them or not. What makes you think you're doing something good by saving any of their lives?
"Because... I'm saving lives? Duh."
Last I checked, Jinx was alive for all that time in that prison. Must've been a great existence, right? Just being alive down there, all alone in that prison. Totally worth living for.
"Well..."
Life sure is a blessing, isn't it?
Terra took a sip of water, then gagged as she realized it wasn't water at all, but something else. Some thing warm, a little more viscous, tasting and smelling of iron...
She gasped and dropped the glass, but it never hit the ground. The darkness around her began swirling and suddenly she found herself bathed in more of the thick, now foul-smelling fluid, suffocating as it blotted everything else out and streamed over her.
Shit.
She swam up, trying to find the surface of whatever it was she was in, but the ocean of dark liquid seemed to be endless. Desperately, she strained her burning muscles up as the seconds ticked by, but as she began to run out of breath, there was still no end in sight. Only the deep, deep pit of sanguine.
No! Let me out of here! Stop it!
"Lll- mm-" she opened her mouth, trying to speak, but the iron-tasting liquid filled her throat and trickled slightly down into her lungs.
She gagged and lost her strength, sinking down as her muscles refused to respond. Her body cried out for air, but she was suffocating, and her brain was shutting down, and nothing, nothing was working at all.
"Nnnn..." she opened her mouth again, trying to speak, but even that was too much of an effort.
Slowly, her body began to drift down and her eyes closed, her lips slightly agape as her mouth filled with fluid. Limply dropping into the dark sea, suffocating oh so slowly, clinging to consciousness just barely. Just, ever so slightly.
...
Long past when she should have run out of breath. It must have been five minutes at least, if not ten minutes she had spent drifting around in the viscous liquid, but still she was not dead. Only with the constant sense of being choked, trying to breathe without air, with the disgust stench bleeding into her nose, and the putrid fluid filling her mouth and lungs. But she simply would not die.
Her eyes opened a sliver. This is a trick!
"Is it now?" The low, somewhat sultry voice echoed through the darkness. "Does it feel like it?"
It has to be! Otherwise I couldn't possibly still be alive. Terra clutched at her chest, but the sense of suffocation just would not go away. I have to find a way out of here.
"There is no escape. There never is. Unless, of course, there is someone to come rescue you."
My friends-
"Your friends..." The voice suddenly took on a different quality, a little more contemplative. Silkier, a little more tense. "Well, let's see if they come."
What is that supposed to - oh no. What did you do to them? Let me out of here! I need- Terra gagged again and coughed into the liquid, but that only served to heighten the discomfort as the thick fluid coursed through her lungs, causing several of her alveoli to rupture. And that only made her cough more, but that damaged her lungs further, and soon she was coughing up blood into the dark ocean, unable to feel anything or think of anything besides the pain constricting her chest.
Breathe, Terra, Breathe. It's just a trick. You just gotta breathe and-
"And what? Keep trying, girl. At this rate, I won't even need to do anything else. Always nice when you fools torture yourselves by struggling."
Terra coughed again, and suddenly the burning pain in her chest doubled, causing her to double over. She pressed a hand to her chest, but the pain simply would not go away; even as she forced herself to calm down, the constant pressure continued to constrict her breathing, forcing her into a state of subdued semiconsciousness.
Breathe, breathe. Don't give in. Just don't give in. I have to figure out a way out of here. Maybe if I go further down...
Her face contorted in pain as she uncurled her body, her muscles screaming at her to stop moving. But still, she found the will to swim, and went down further. Deeper and deeper until the pressure seemed like it would crush her... but it was only an illusion! It was not real, so she had no fear of dying; she should not have had any fear of dying, anyway. No, it was more the pain, and the constant feeling of suffocation...
She dove down, and down, and down, and suddenly, the fetid liquid was gone, replaced by a warm, albeit completely blank darkness.
Terra took a deep breath.
"Bitch."
"You think you've escaped?"
Terra sucked in another deep breath and clutched at her burning lungs. "Nope. Just saying you're a bitch. Now where are you?"
No reply. The golden haired girl frowned, then stepped forward in the darkness. Or floated? Or... it was hard to tell where she was. There didn't seem to be anything, except...
She frowned and stopped. It felt like something was crawling on her skin. Something... an ant? No, bigger. A beetle. Not just one, but more. Crawling up her feet, and up her legs, into her clothes-
"The fuck, what are you doing?" Terra began squirming, trying to throw the beetles off. "Stop! Get them off of me! They're eating me alive- stop it!" Her voice rose in volume as the beetles dug their pincers into her skin. "Stop! They're going to kill me!"
"It's just an illusion, isn't it? What do you have to be afraid of?"
"I hate beetles!" Terra screamed. "Stop!"
"Why?"
Terra shook her body again, and suddenly they were gone, leaving her sweaty, breathing heavily as she tried to regain some sense of composure. "I get it, okay? I get it. We deserve this. Point received."
"Point received? Oh, I'm sure you get it. I'm sure you feel bad for leaving her to rot like that. That was never the question. That's not the point."
"Then why? Revenge? That's so stupid."
"Revenge? Perhaps that is part of it. But surely you must know, this is more than that."
"Why?" Terra shivered, feeling a chill in the air.
"You'll figure it out."
"Wait! No!"
The beetles returned again, shredding her clothes and her outer layer of skin, then tearing her flesh apart slowly as they wormed her way into her body.
"Stop!" She screamed again. "Stop, please! Mercy!"
"Mercy. What an interesting word. I've heard that so many times," the demoness's voice echoed over Terra's screams. "Day and night. Everyone begs for mercy. The wretched slaves in that city, pigs ripe for slaughter, those staring straight at death, who are helpless and can only beg for their lives. Beg for mercy. Is there ever any? No."
Tears streamed down Terra's face. "Please..."
"So weak. So helpless. As soon as you are faced with something you cannot beat, you are reduced to a state like this. How pitiful."
The beetles crawled off over her face as someone approached in the darkness. Terra shuddered again as a hand reached out and grabbed her cheeks, tilting her face up as the beetles continued eating at her body.
"So much fear. I can see it in your eyes. Ah... look at me. No, don't turn away. Look at me."
Suddenly, a pair of violet eyes became apparent in the darkness, and she found herself hypnotized, leaving herself bare to the gaze of the demon girl.
It was a strange quality. There was something. At first, those eyes were so terribly cold when she looked at them, so dispassionate and angry, but then it shifted and it was strange, because she saw her only look of fear mirrored in the other girl's eyes. Understanding... what was the feeling? Could demons truly understand something as human as fear? Were demons capable of understanding at all?
"What do you think?" The violet eyes disappeared and the pain return in full force.
Terra was shocked momentarily as it all returned, then closed her eyes and gritted her teeth as the insects covered her face.
"If you get it, then why? Do you really get it?"
"Do I really understand, you ask. Think, girl. Do I understand?" The demoness hissed lightly. "I know your emotions better than you do. I know everything that goes on in that little head of yours. I know that you're about two seconds from cracking completely, and I know that the only reason you're holding on is you have a glimmer of hope. That I'll let you and your little friends go, and you'll all be able to go on with your lives. Or better, you think you'll be able to beat me. Oh, not you, but someone will come and save you. Just like with that man."
Terra's eyes widened. "No! No..." She squirmed and tried to shake off the beetles, but they had already eaten her flesh almost all the way down to the bone.
"But, sorry to dash those hopes, nobody can save you." The demoness leaned in close, right next to Terra's ear. "Except yourself."
"Stop..." Terra whimpered.
"Oh, I forgot. You're useless. Of all the Titans, I knew that you would be the most useless one."
"That's... not true..."
"But it is. I had to work to break everyone else. The masked boy is unstable, yes, but he is always dangerous. The robot is strong minded and the alien even more so. And the green one..." a grey finger came up and parted the beetles. "Let's just say he has a propensity toward anger. But you... you're useless."
Terra whimpered again as the beetles fell away.
"Poor girl. You can't handle it, can you? Spirited as you might seem, you're not as strong as the others. You can't handle being abused. That's why it was so easy for that man to take advantage of you. That's why it's so easy for you to change your mind and that's why you always run away. Because you can't face your problems. You can't face anything."
The blonde crumpled to the ground and buried her face in her hands, not even bothering to respond. The other girl kicked her over, then left her there.
"Stupid girl. At least put up a fight."
Terra stayed still for another moment, then rose up and tried to punch her foe, but it was a weak blow and was caught easily.
"That's it? That's all the spirit you have? Come. Try harder."
The other fist came up and the demoness took it full on, barely flinching.
"No? No strength left? Pathetic."
"I am not," Terra said quietly, under her breath. "Just because you're stronger..."
"So you'll just give up."
"No."
"I don't sense any fight left in you."
"I can still fight you."
"Prove it."
Terra gritted her teeth and struggled, but her wrists were caught in the demoness's hands and she simply was not strong enough to break free. Her eyes blazed yellow a moment later, prompting a soft snicker from her opponent.
"Ready to fight? Where are those rocks of yours?"
"Here."
A large sphere of earth surrounded them in the darkness, but the black sorcery was stronger and dispelled Terra's powers before she could make use of them. The injured girl struggled a moment longer, but as she realized she simply could not fight, she sighed and her body went still.
"No more..."
"No more? You're done struggling?"
"I don't want to suffer anymore..." She looked up tearfully. "I know where this is going. I'm not stupid. You're going to break me, take advantage of me, just like he did. You're going to make me feel worthless, then tell me you're the only one I can turn to. Well, fuck off. Never again. I'm not going to give in to that."
"Take advantage of you? Not at all. I have no use for you. You're going to stay here. And suffer."
Terra paled. "That's not what I meant... that's..." she closed her eyes. "Just kill me now."
"Kill you? You can't possibly think that I'd do something like that. Kill you? That would be kind. Merciful. You think it's easy to just fall over and die? If people could do that so simply, this world would be empty of life. Everyone would just kill themselves to escape this hell. But it never is that simple."
The demoness let go and stepped back. The other girl stood still, oddly still.
"Here. I'll give you a chance. Here's a knife." There was a metallic clink as a dagger hit the ground. "If you want to kill yourself right now, there's the chance. Otherwise, you'll just have to guess what happens next."
Terra bit her lip and stepped forward blindly into the darkness and reached down to pick up the knife, wincing as her mangled flesh bled out, but still managing to enclose it in her fingers and hold it up to her throat.
She stood still for several moments, contemplating her situation, then trying to press the blade in, but finding herself unable to. She gave off a cry of despair and tried and tried, but her hand simply would not move.
"Not so simple, is it? Killing yourself takes some type of courage. A different type, but it still takes something. Even when you have nothing else to lose, it may not be so simple. The bravery required... well, put simply, you don't have any kind of courage. Not even the will to kill yourself."
Terra continued trying, but the blade slipped from her grasp and she had to bend down again to pick it up. This time, she held it over her wrists, slicing down lightly, but in the wrong spot. The blood flowed out, down her arms, and she gasped from the added pain, but still held onto the knife, her hand trembling. I have to kill myself. I have to do it before she... before she... but... why? I just can't. I just...
"You want to know why? It's simple. You're weak. You're so weak that you can't do anything by yourself. I'm sure you'd be able to give up and die slowly, but you can't bring yourself to do the action of killing yourself."
Terra threw aside the dagger and buried her face in her hands.
"So that's it then." The demoness turned away. "Enjoy your night."
Terra woke up, gasping for breath. She sat up on her bed and looked around wildly for a moment, then closed her eyes in frustration as she covered her face.
"God damn it."
She rubbed her arms and shivered, but then her eyes widened in fright as she felt something crawling under her blankets.
"No. No no no. This can't be happening. No!" She screamed and tried to get up, but the blankets held her in place as a horde of insects crawled out and began nipping at her body.
She opened her mouth to scream again, but suddenly her room was filled with liquid and she was suffocating again, suffocating as two pairs of red eyes opened above her in the darkness, glinting with amusement and maliciousness. And then they were gone and she was left alone, to suffer the endless torment with her body constantly being eaten away in the sea of dark crimson. In the fetid limbo, there was nothing and nobody... in the darkness, nothing but ceaseless hurt... in the smothering fluid, she could not even scream. Only suffer silently where nobody could hear her...