I was late!

I took too long to do my make up and now I didn't even have time to iron my dress, but I didn't want to be too late.

''Bella, come one!'' Charlie came in my room just as I was putting things in my bag ''I have to go to work after I drop you off.''

''I'm ready! I'm ready!'' I whined ''Let's go.''

Charlie was kind enough to drop me off at the French fry place before his shift. For the past week I didn't visit Carlisle for almost two weeks now. We were talking, but just the most important things. The truth be told, I missed him dearly, but we haven't talked about it, and it was becoming more and more stupid.

I was calm enough now. I hoped he was too.

I didn't particularly like how we separated – buying the morning after pill, taking it in the car, and walking home alone because we didn't want to risk a chance of someone seeing him. And I already was wearing a jacket he had in his car, seeing as my blouse was destroyed.

I didn't tell him in our nightly talks that I was sleeping in it every night, even though I wouldn't deny it if he asked.

When I walked in the French fry place, Rosalie and Emmett were already at the booth and I rushed to them, happy to see my friends. I hugged Rosalie from behind and she laughed realising that it was me.

''You're late!'' Emmett laughed.

''Hey, don't I get one of those?'' Jasper said behind me, and I turned around and hugged him as well.

I sat down next to Jasper and I felt a little more at peace.

''How has it been back in NYC?'' Jasper asked ''It's been boring here.'' We laughed at the absurdity at that one.

''I miss the sunshine already.''

''Its literally so fucking hot I want to be in a freezer Rosalie.'' I responded to her.

We chatted like that for about an hour, when Jasper himself started with a topic me and Carlisle hadn't yet touched.

''I feel like I should say sorry to everyone. Bella, sorry for the fucked-up kiss. I think I just missed someone, and I felt like you were the closest friend, and I just… I don't know honestly. And guys, I'm sorry that you got involved, but thank you at the same.'' he looked dead beat as he finished.

''You want to get back with Alice?'' Emmett asked him.

''Listen, I have hated and loved the girl for the longest time. I would, maybe. But I would like to be single for the time being.''

Of course, we could understand. I thought my relationship with Carlisle was fucked up, and rocky. At least for the start of it, but it didn't compare with their relationship. I felt like I needed to speak up.

''I'm sorry too Jasper… Carlisle heard us, in the café, us talking about the kiss. We had a big fight in a car, followed by hate sex, and us not seeing each other since.'' I hung my head in shame. It seemed like a lot to say to my friends. But that is what they were – my friends. And weren't we supposed to tell our friends our boyfriend drama?

''But that was like two weeks ago?'' Jasper cleared up and I nodded ''It was just a stupid kiss that didn't mean anything.'' He muttered.

''I think it did.'' Rosalie spoke up, bringing all the attention to her ''I think you missed someone nice and warm, and smart, and Bella was there. I think you love her, but like I love her – like a sister. I think you were shocked that Carlisle was the one having Bella's heart and that it scared you. It scared us too at first! I think that that kiss was offering Bella an out, if she wanted one… But I don't think that you meant that actually.'' She finished, and silence fell.

It… made sense, and Jasper was nodding, looking at the table.

I put my hand around him in support. Emmett said that he would have done the same that earned a playful punch on the arm before she stood up ''I'm sorry, I have to take this call.''

After she returned, she suggested that we order scones… I couldn't help but to order a strawberry milkshake with it.

I was almost done with the milkshake, when I saw Carlisle walking in, and almost spat out the drink. He looked at us, and with determination on his face he walked over.

''Hello Rose, Emmett, Jasper… Bella dear.'' I almost jumped up from my seat when he said that! In public! ''May I sit down?''

''Of course! We were just thinking of ordering something.'' Rosalie spoke up, and he sat down next to me.

Under the table he took my hand in his ''So what are you guys thinking ice cream? It's too hot to function outside.'' He laughed, and Jasper agreed.

For just a second it felt normal, falling into a banter and eating – almost literally breaking bread, if it was in form of ice cream. I wished that this could be it – us coming out to the public and everything would be alright, and people would accept us as we were. I knew it wasn't going to be that easy.

When we were about to finish up, Carlisle asked if he could take me home, and I agreed. I knew that home was meant as his place. I knew we were going to talk.

I knew what bothered me, and I was waiting to hear what bothered Carlisle.