Act 1: Daydreams
PART TEN
Stiles still couldn't believe he'd survived his gym class. Jackson had spent the hour sending him intimidating death glares from across the field, but that was all. He assumed Jackson would have some major convoluted plan set in motion to expose him, but no. The last few days he acted like nothing had changed like it was any other day, as if he hadn't witnessed Stiles partially shift into a werewolf. Honestly, it made Stiles feel even worse about the whole situation and his anxiety continued to escalate.
As he walked to his chemistry class, Stiles spotted Scott and Allison together in the hallway. Lately they spent all their time together and were physically inseparable. Stiles was starting to suspect that all their hand holding had somehow fused their fingers together.
Stiles paused in the hall, watching the couple. He knew he could easily catch up to them, but he didn't want to be that awkward third wheel tailing behind them. Instead, he preoccupied himself by opening his backpack and pretending to rummage through it. He'd rather suffer through the loneliness, and it wasn't as if he had anything interesting to say to them anyway. Scott had barely spoken to Stiles the past few days unless it was werewolf related. At best they'd discuss the 'pleasant weather'.
Stiles watched as Scott and Allison made their way to class, occasionally stopping to say 'hi' to other students. Stiles hadn't noticed until now just how popular Scott seemed to be getting. Everybody loved him. The way they spoke to him sounded so genuine, and their smiles so kind. A month ago kids didn't look twice at him and now they all wanted his undivided attention.
Scott and Allison eventually walked into the room and Stiles stopped outside the classroom, listening in on them. Once he was sure the couple had settled in their seats, he walked in. The chemistry room was still relatively empty, but it had been the last couple of days. Most students stopped coming to class after the first couple of substitutes.
Mr. Harris hadn't shown his face at school since the incident in the woods. Stiles didn't care what Mr. Harris did. Whether he showed up or not was his call, but that didn't stop Stiles from loathing the substitutes with a burning passion. All class period they were forced to watch hour long videos about irrelevant and utterly useless material, then start them all over again the next day. Stiles would almost prefer Mr. Harris come back, but then again, he wasn't sure how he'd react when he actually saw Harris.
In his mind, everything played out so simply. Stiles would shoot him one of his famous death glares, then Mr. Harris would apologize profusely about the situation and then they'd moved on, never speaking of that night again. All would be forgotten and Stiles could get on with his life.
Stiles didn't want to admit it, but that night played nonstop in his head. The thought of it made his stomach churn and his palms sweat. He desperately needed some kind of resolution.
Stiles slumped in his chair in the back of the room, he distracted himself from thoughts of Harris by staring at the backs of Scott and Allison. He remembered when he used to sit next to his best friend. Back when Allison was nothing more than an unattainable angel in the corner of Scott's eye. Those were the days.
Eventually Scott turned around to examine the room. Once he spotted Stiles he waved at him. Stiles waved back. Allison glanced back as well and waved at him too. Scott smiled at him then at Allison.
It was in that moment Stiles knew that Scott truly thought everything was fine. He had no idea he was ditching Stiles for Allison, and the thought would never cross his mind. Stiles wanted to believe everything was fine too, but it wasn't. He felt like he was losing his brother.
Stiles put his head in his hands once Scott faced forward again. His mind wandered back and he thought about Derek. In particular, the moment when he told Derek what had happened between him and Harris. Stiles felt his face heat up. He couldn't explain it, but something about Derek made him want to spill his guts, he couldn't keep something like that from him, no matter how hard he tried. The more he thought about it made Stiles realize that he didn't want to keep secrets from Derek. He could trust Derek.
Stiles heard someone sit across from him at the lab table. He looked up from his palms to see the girl he'd worked with a few days prior, Erica. Stiles tried to be nice and say hello, but she stayed silent and awkwardly avoided his eyes by staring down at the table and playing with her messy hair. She was an odd individual to say the least.
Stiles resolved to ignore her presence. He absentmindedly stared out the classroom's window, looking at the lacrosse field. Being on the team wasn't as big a hassle as he had first assumed, but he still didn't get along with any of his teammates. He spent most of the time listening in on Scott's conversations with the other guys.
"Alright class, today we're going to start by taking a small quiz on the material you should have learned while I was out." Mr. Harris walked into the room. "I need everyone to break into pairs."
Stiles felt his stomach drop. He already missed the boring substitutes with their strange last names and boring videos. Stiles looked around the room trying to gage the other students' reactions to their teacher's return, all while avoiding Harris' gaze. He wasn't surprised to see Scott pair up with Allison.
Mr. Harris looked around the room, taking a warm body count of the students. "I guess we have an uneven number today.." Harris was going to say more, but a student walked into the room with a call slip and handed it to him. Harris walked up to Erica and handed her the slip of paper. She quickly grabbed her belongings and walked out of the room, leaving Stiles alone. That left only one other person yet to be paired up. "Jackson, you can work with Stilinski."
Jackson had been sitting alone near the front of the room. He slowly walked over to Stiles table, but instead of talking Erica's seat, he sat in the seat besides Stiles. Scott shot Stiles a worried glance, but Allison called his attention back to the assignment.
Stiles looked towards Mr. Harris, trying to give him a pleading look. Harris gave him a quick smirk before walking to the front of the classroom. Now he wished he'd been one of the smart kids and had ditched class.
Jackson openly stared at Stiles, not caring about the potential repercussions. He wasn't worried about what happened the other day happening again. He was actually counting on it. Stiles losing his composure would only serve to hinder him and no one else. If anything, Jackson might even be regarded as a hero for outing Stiles' secret.
"Um, so did you take any notes while Harris was gone?" Stiles asked, staring down at the worksheet Mr. Harris had quickly passed around. He was trying to keep as calm as possible and doing his best to ignore Jackson's bright blue eyes. "I didn't. I should of, but I didn't think we'd be tested on anything."
Stiles quickly looked at Jackson to check if he was still staring, he was.
Stiles felt his heart beat increase and his hands clam up. He couldn't look at Jackson anymore; he was making him too nervous. Stiles felt like this was sophomore year all over again. He decided to stay quiet and start filling out the paper himself. He refused to be that confused 15 year old boy again.
Jackson leaned closer to Stiles and whispered to him. "So what exactly happened Monday? I'm just curious." Jackson put his elbow on the table and his chin on his hand. He gave Stiles a soft smile, as if he were trying to comfort him.. Or flirt. The expression on his face put Stiles on edge.
"I don't... I.." The words weren't forming. Stiles tried to look Jackson in the face, but he got lost. Stiles' gaze drifted from Jackson's eyes to the light freckles on his nose, then to his lips. All the blood drained from his face and fell.. lower. He looked away again. He had to remind himself that he was supposed to hate Jackson. He did hate Jackson. "I don't know what you're-"
"Don't lie to me." Jackson hit his hand down against the table and lowered his voice. He had lost all of his previous composure. The look on Jackson's face told Stiles just how serious this was. "You know exactly what I'm talking about, so don't lie to me."
Jackson paused a moment to collect himself. "It's not just you right? It's Scott, too. Both of you are.. Whatever you guys are. That's how you made the team, right? You both cheated."
"Jackson, I don't know you what you think you saw, but-"
Jackson grabbed Stiles' arm. He pulled Stiles towards him so they were facing each other. "Stop lying and listen to me. I don't care what you are, or how you got that way, and I promise I'll keep my mouth shut, but only if you get for me too."
"What?" Stiles hadn't expected Jackson to respond like that. Instead of the compressive weight of hatred, Stiles felt patchy bits of envy emitting from Jackson. He meant what he said. He really wanted the bite.
"You heard me, I want in too. So how did you and Scott do it?"
"No." Stiles couldn't imagine a worse scenario than Jackson getting thrown into the werewolf mix. That was the last kind of stress he needed in his life.
"No? No, is not an acceptable answer. You either get me what I want or I expose you and McCall."
Stiles felt his blood boil. He moved closer the other boy and clenched his fists. He was ready to punch Jackson's smug face, and this time he was sure he wouldn't miss. Jackson remembered the expression and looked down at Stiles' hands. "If you hit me, I swear to God I'll expose you right now."
Jackson leaned in closer to Stiles, lowering his voice again. "So tell me, what do I have to do to get what I want?"
Stiles could hardly believe how quickly Jackson evoked these emotions in him. One moment he had a semi-hardon and the next he wanted to attack that stupid face. Stiles just barely resisted the urge to growl by grabbing his backpack and walking out of the classroom.
His heart was beating too fast and he felt that heavy weight in his jaw come back. He ran to the boys' restroom and leaned against the wooden door, preventing anyone else from entering. He felt the transformation coming again. Stiles tried counting his breathes but it didn't work. The whole world was crashing down and the explosion was seconds away, and he felt so alone.
Stiles came to the sudden realization that he ruined everything. Derek had only given him and Scott one task: don't get caught. Barely two weeks into the werewolf life he'd already messed up. Stiles hit his fists against his head. He felt like a walking disaster. He couldn't do anything right. He ruined everything.
Stiles felt his breath hitch in his chest. The emptiness was beginning to consume him. He was on the verge of falling to the floor and breaking down. He was so close to giving in, but he didn't. He tried remembering what Derek had told him at the loading bay. He remembered Derek's hand on his chest, pushing him down, grounding him. Stiles put his hand over the same spot, pushing himself against the door.
The pressure wasn't as effective as when Derek did it, but it helped. Stiles closed his eyes and mentally went over that time in the back of Dan's Groceries again. Derek had swooped out of nowhere and saved him, he even stayed with him until Scott showed and stayed after he left.
Stiles calmed down and didn't feel like he was at risk of shifting again, but his chest still hurt, even after he removed his hand. He hit the back of his head against the bathroom door. He hated thinking about Derek. He couldn't control the thoughts that followed afterwards, or where they lead. He hit his head against the door again.
He thought about returning to class, but only for a moment until he realized just how stupid of an idea that was. He ultimately decided to go hide in his jeep until school was over and lacrosse practice started.
ยท
Stiles was at home sitting at his desk when he heard the front door slam. His father was back early for once. He felt like a child as he ran downstairs to greet him. When Stiles was younger he'd always greet his father at the front door as soon as he got home from work. He never missed a day.
"Hey Stiles," his father said, carrying a bag of food with him as he tried to remove his jacket.
"Hey. You brought dinner?" Stiles asked. He hadn't realized just how hungry he was until he smelled the scent emanating from the bag. His heightened senses made the hamburgers all the more delectable. He took the bag from his father and set it down on the dinner table.
His father smiled. "Yeah." They both walked into the kitchen and began pulling out plates and cups. "I finally got out early today, so I thought I'd bring something home."
"So, what were you working on today? Was it still about the 'monster' sightings or the murder outside of town? Oh, did they ever figure out what killed the woman?" Stiles asked, as he emptied the contents from the bag. Lately the murder was becoming public knowledge, but the word buzzing around town wasn't murder. People were starting to believe it was an animal attack. From what Stiles heard kids saying at Jackson's party, the animal fur still couldn't be identified. He hoped his father could give him some more insight.
"That's strictly police business." Stiles' father carefully eyed him. "Why do you want to know?"
"Just curious." Stiles said, then started laughing. "I don't want you to get too scared at work. So I figured we could talk about the 'scary cases'."
"Yeah, I'm just terrified aren't I?" His father said, rolling his eyes, but laughing along with Stiles. They sat down at their table and began eating. "So how was school?"
Stiles didn't know how to answer. "It was fine, I guess." It's not like he could tell his father he ditched most of the day after having a slight mental breakdown in the boys' restroom. That might worry him even more than usual. Stiles could already feel his father's underlying distress. As hard as his father tried to hid it, Stiles' werewolf senses allowed him to read him like an open book.
Every time his father looked at him his heart rate increased. Stiles could only assume it was in fear of something.
"Fine, just fine?" His father looked up at him and smiled. "It's high school, you should be coming home with stories about today being the best day of your life. Or how you had so much fun at lacrosse practice after school."
Stiles and his father laughed. "Right, yeah that's totally high school. You know what, today was amazing. I had a great day and lacrosse was a blast."
His father put down his burger and clapped his hands together. "There we go, positive thinking."
"Yep, that makes the whole world go 'round."
Stiles focused back on eating his hamburger. While his father watched him, trying to carefully pick out his words. "You know, we need to do something."
"Like what?" Stiles asked in between bites.
"I don't know, maybe we could go fishing?"
"You hate fishing." Stiles said. He raised his brow. "Why would you wanna go fishing?"
His father shrugged. He put down his veggie burger again and wiped his hands. "We don't spend enough time together. I'm never home or I'm too busy with work.. Next year you'll be in university and we'll hardly see each other anymore."
Stiles audible sighed, setting down his food as well. "Dad.." He said, drawing out the word.
His father's face wrinkled up. It always wrinkled up when he got concerned or worried. "I'm serious Stiles, we don't have much time left."
"We have plenty of time left. Believe me. I only applied for universities nearby, and if they don't work out I'll go the community college downtown." Stiles had planned this back in his freshman year, he wasn't going to leave Beacon Hills, his father, or Scott.
"Stiles, I don't want you to stay here because you're trying to please me."
"I'm not trying to please anyone. I don't want to leave town if I can avoid it, I like it here." Not only that, but Stiles was being to suspect that this werewolf thing had ruined any future he was going to have anyway. He doubted Derek would allow him or Scott to just pack up and leave town, but he really couldn't be sure. He mentally noted to ask Derek, but he was the last person Stiles wanted to see right now.
"You are a bright kid who could flourish anywhere you go. Leaving will good for you. You'll be happier once you're out of Beacon Hills." His father's eyes burned into him. "With your GPA, you could head anywhere you wanted."
Stiles returned to his food. "Well it's too late now, I've already sent out my applications and stuff."
His father sighed. "I don't want you to throw away all the opportunities life is offering you. You're going to regret it if you do."
Stiles didn't know what to say so he and his father fell into a silent spell.
Scott had told him Ms McCall had jumped on the 'your future is important' boat a few weeks ago. He should have been expecting the same from his father. But that was the least of his priorities, things were too different now. How could he tell his dad he was worried he might wolf-out at school and have no one to turn to? How would he even begin to explain the whole werewolf thing?
Stiles waited until the tension died down before he started talking again. "...Maybe we could go see a movie. I mean, not now, the only stuff playing are stupid horror movies, but after Halloween is Oscar season. It's the best time to go to the theaters."
"I like horror movies."
Stiles jokingly rolled his eyes at his father. "You would like horror movies, wouldn't you? I'm not even surprised."
"They are suspenseful and put you at the edge of your seat. And, if they're bad, they're the best kind of comedy." The tension was finally beginning to thin.
Stiles laughed. "Alright, fine. Let's go see a horror movie."
Stiles and his father finished their food and began cleaning up. Stiles watched his father wash their dishes as he put away the leftovers. He began seriously considering telling his father about the werewolf thing. The way he saw it, Jackson would tell everyone anyway. It'd be better if his father found out from the source rather than some spiteful teenager. He just had to ease him into it.
"Dad, what if those horror movies real?"
His father looked over at him. "What do mean? Like, some crazy masked axe murderer is chasing after me, real?"
"No. I mean the fantasy kind of horror, like vampires and werewolves. What would you think about that?"
His father focused back on the dirty plates. "That stuff isn't real."
"But what if it was, then what would you do?"
"I'd channel my inner Bruce Campbell and handle the problem." Stiles father laughed, and Stiles lightly smiled along with him.
"Well, I mean for real. Let's just say I was a.. I don't know, a.. vampire. What would you do?"
"Come on Stiles, those movies aren't real, they only exist as a sense of catharsis. Why would you even want to consider something like that?" His father finished with the dishes and began drying his hands.
Stiles leaned against the refrigerator, carefully watching his father's face. "Just humor me."
"Alright, fine. Well, if you were a vampire, I'd probably make you change me too." His father said shrugging. "The more the merrier."
"Oh." The statement started a chain reaction in Stiles' head. Stiles was reminded of Jackson and that problem, then that got him thinking about school and the problem with Mr. Harris. Then his mind shifted to Derek again. What was he going to say to Derek and Scott? How could he tell them he blew it?
Stiles imagined standing in front of them, admitting he'd messed up and ruined everything. He saw himself breaking down in shame and self-pity. Stiles wiped his hand over his mouth.
Why did Derek have to bite him? Stiles truly believed he was the worst candidate for this whole werewolf thing.
Stiles felt a cold heavy weight over his chest, dragging his entire body down. He felt so empty inside. Like he was in the boys' restroom again.
"Are you alright, Stiles?" His father asked, carefully studying his blank expression. His face started wrinkling again. "You look kinda sick."
"No, I'm fine. I'm just tired." Stiles said, shaking his head. His father's voice was enough to pull him out of his stupor. "I'm gonna go to sleep, alright."
"Ok. See you tomorrow."
Stiles nodded and went up to his room and laid back on his bed. He draped his arm over his eyes, shutting out all the light coming from his window. He wasn't ready for tomorrow.
A/N:: Sorry for any and all spelling/grammatical errors and over all lateness, this is not beta'd.. :#
Since chapter nine was on time it only makes sense that chapter ten is roughly three weeks late.. right?
Honestly, I would whine about how contracted finals-itis, but I've complained enough on tumblr. So enjoy the chapter, I hope there aren't too many mistakes.
[Have I mentioned I have a tumblr? I don't remember. If I didn't, the link is on my profile. Check it out and read about my uneventful life and my creepy obsession with Marlon Brando.. I probably just convinced people to stay away from my tumblr.]
Well, I hope everyone has a good week!