Devotion
Hermione didn't dare to read the little note. She went to classes and tried to focus on what the teachers said. She talked to her friends, did her homework and finally went to the dormitory. Hermione sat down on her bed and took out the little note after all. She felt nervous, curious, hopeful and angry. She wanted him to forget about her once and for all, but this was at the same time her greatest fear. She hadn't read the note until now because she was simply afraid this would really mean the end of everything. How stupid. She took a deep breath, opened the little note and gulped.
It's too late.
She read those words again and again, not knowing what to think or feel. She trembled, her heart pounding in excitement and desperation. Why didn't he simply let go? Why did he make it that hard for her? Hermione sighed. Pighead. She stood up and looked out of the window. The door opened and Parvati entered gaping.
"Hey Mione. Did you hear that we'll get a new teacher?"
Hermione cocked an eyebrow and shook her head. Parvati's eyes were gleaming, like always when she was allowed to gossip.
"He'll teach History of Magic. I heard that Professor Binns will be allowed to stay at Hogwarts though. I'm so curious how the new teacher will be like. Nobody knows why Dumbledore suddenly employed another teacher. I hope he's really cute."
Parvati squinted, grinned and disappeared into the bathroom.
Hermione frowned. Why should Dumbledore appoint a new teacher all of a sudden? What did he aim to achieve with that? She didn't find an answer and crossed her arms over her chest. It didn't really matter right now anyway. There were enough other problems to deal with. Hermione bit her lip and made the hardest decision she'd ever taken. It was time to be strong.
ooooo
The next morning was grey and rainy and Draco had a terrible headache. He'd dreamt of black cloaks and masks and had felt a burning pain in his left arm. He'd immediately checked his wrist but it was pale as always. His heartbeat had calmed down slowly and he'd listened to the raindrops knocking on his window. He had a feeling that this wouldn't be his day.
He finally went down to breakfast, Crabbe and Goyle by his side, both talking about food. Draco rolled his eyes, entered the Great Hall and saw her. She looked at him, took Weasleys hand, got up on her tiptoes and suddenly kissed the redhead. Weasley was obviously surprised, but put his arm around her and closed his eyes. Draco could hear Pansy, Crabbe and Goyle sneering and other people laughing or commenting bawdy about it. Potter grinned flabbergasted and Draco felt the strong need to smash something.
His fists were clenched, his eyes set on the brunette girl, his heart pounding in anger. He automatically made a step towards her, when he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. Draco turned around and looked into an unknown face. The man in front of him was young, but too old to be a student. He had blue eyes and brown hair and something about him seemed very familiar. Draco couldn't say why, but he had a strange feeling of knowing that man, even though he'd never seen him before.
His gaze was friendly but assertive and Draco forgot the reason of his anger for one second.
"You shouldn't." he simply said and took away his hand, smiling.
Draco frowned and looked again at Granger. She'd finally stopped snogging Weasley and watched him and the stranger surprised. Well, everyone seemed to look at them questioning. The foreign guy smiled, went towards Dumbledore and talked to him for some seconds. Granger ignored Weasleys try to take her to the Gryffindor table. Her eyes were set on the stranger and she frowned. Draco still wanted to wring her neck, but he couldn't help feeling curious as well.
Dumbledore stood up and smiled bright.
"Good morning everybody. Our beloved Professor Binns decided recently that it was time to finally give up the position as our teacher of History of Magic. We are of course sad about his decision but respect it and wish him all the best for his future. Well, we need of course a new teacher for this important subject and I'm glad to be able to introduce you to Mr. Ryan Hawthorn, our new History of Magic Teacher."
Everybody applauded and the girls grinned and started chatting. Draco hid his hands in his pockets and brought himself to sit down at the Slytherin table. He didn't eat anything. Was this her answer? Did she pretend to be in love with Weasley just to show him where his place was? Draco gritted his teeth and Pansy looked at him frowning.
"You ok, Draco?" she asked subtle and he just nodded. Pansy was smart enough to shut up and let him alone when he was in such a mood.
Grangers gaze was still set on the new teacher and Draco felt more and more confused. It was strange to appoint a new teacher at this time of the year, but why did she look at him like that? And why did he feel like knowing that guy? Draco finally stood up and left the Great Hall. He went down to the dungeons and waited. She wouldn't dare to skip potions.
ooooo
As Malfoy didn't seem to understand her words, Hermione had decided to show him her decision. She'd kissed Ron, hoping that he'd finally accept the end of this confusing game they'd been playing. He'd been really mad, ready to interfere and show everyone what was actually going on when he'd been stopped by that new teacher. One gaze and Hermione had immediately known what was going on. She still couldn't believe it, though. How did he manage to get that job? How did he fool Dumbledore and the other teachers? And what the hell did he intend to do now?
Hermione went down to the dungeons with Harry and Ron, who was still holding her hand. He'd been surprised about the kiss and his ears were still red and he looked pretty satisfied. Hermione felt sorry. She'd used him. He was her best friend and obviously in love with her and she'd exploited him for her own ends. Hermione didn't want to think that way but couldn't help it. It was the truth after all, wasn't it? Why lie to herself as well?
Malfoy was already waiting. He leant against the cold stone wall, his hands in his pockets, his eyes steel grey and murderous. Hermione gasped. Impressive. She'd seen him angry before but this was definitely different. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to take on with him. Rons hand squeezed hers and he frowned, watching Malfoy as murderously as the blonde Slytherin did. Harry looked from Ron to Malfoy and back to Hermione, obviously asking himself if he'd missed something.
Before anyone could say or do something, Slughorn already opened the door and grinned at Harry. Hermione felt a twinge of jealousy and glared at him. Harry shrugged and they entered the classroom. Hermione gulped and went to the first row to sit down next to Malfoy. She expected him to say something, but he didn't. They spent class in silence and Hermione got more and more nervous. Why didn't he finally do something? She'd prepared what she wanted to tell him. She knew every single word. But one look in his eyes made her forget everything. They were cold. No affection, no sympathy, nothing. She looked into the eyes of a Malfoy. Hermione felt sick and turned away.
It was better like this, right? This was actually how it was supposed to be. He did what she'd asked him to do. Ignore her. Forget about her. Let her live the life she was meant to live. Hermione felt kind of relieved. No responsibility. No hurting. No fear to get caught. But also no love. No hope. No completeness. Well, she would learn to live without these things. It was harder now that she knew them, though.
Malfoy left without a word after class. Hermione was still sitting on her chair, kind of shocked about the definitiveness of his action. Ron looked down on her questioning.
"You ok, Mione?" he asked nicely.
Hermione took a deep breath and smiled.
"Yes. Everything's exactly how it's supposed to be."
Ron cocked an eyebrow.
"Sounds kind of frustrating, don't you think?"
Hermione looked at him and finally nodded.
"Yeah, kind of. But it's also comforting in a way, you know."
Ron just shrugged and they went to Transfiguration together. Malfoy didn't take notice of her the whole day. He simply ignored her. No gaze, no smirk, not a single word or gesture. Hermione felt lonely in a strange way. Was he really that indifferent?
Ron and Harry were finally playing cards in the common room, when Ginny suddenly appeared smiling. Harry exchanged an intimate gaze with the redhead, but Ron didn't notice of course. He still didn't have the slightest idea of their relationship and Hermione feared his reaction. She wasn't the only one of course.
Ginny sat down close to Harry.
"We had History of Magic today. The new teacher is incredible. All the girls are in love with him."
Harry frowned.
"You as well?" he asked casually.
Ron frowned and Ginny shook her head smirking.
"I'm not interested in teachers, even though this one is actually really cute."
Harry and Ron seemed satisfied and Ginny looked at Hermione.
"You wanna go for a walk?" she asked and Hermione nodded smiling.
They went outside and strolled around the lake. It was already dark and also quite cold. Hermione enjoyed it though.
"You and Ron, huh?" Ginny suddenly started and Hermione smiled crooked.
"Yeah…"
Ginny pursed her lips.
"I never thought the two of you would make a good couple to be honest."
Hermione watched her surprised.
"Sorry, Mione. I think it's great that you love each other. Really. There is no better girl for Ron. I just thought you were…, well, how should I say it? Mione, I thought you needed someone a bit different than Ron. Someone who is on your level. I don't mean intellectual, I mean just someone who can mess up your life a bit. Someone who is strong enough to surprise you and to overwhelm you sometimes. That sounds crazy, doesn't it?" Ginny stated biting her lip.
"What exactly do you mean, Gin? Just spit it out Weasley!" Hermione said smiling and Ginny laughed.
"Harry and I, we are like fire and ice. We fascinate each other because we're different and at the same time similar. I don't know how to explain it, but we're equal partners, you know? There is an important balance between us. When he's weak, then I'm strong and the other way round. We don't control each other, we complement one another. I think that's how it should be. It's the only way to make you feel complete. When I see you with Ron, I don't have this feeling. Are you mad now?"
Ginny looked at her apologetic and waited for Hermiones answer.
"No Gin, I'm not mad."
"Mione, I don't know if love has to be like this, but when I'm with Harry, then the world stops turning. I forget about everything else and everything left in my mind is him. When he touches me, then it's like an earthquake. There is no other guy on earth who could ever mean that much to me. If you don't feel like this for Ron, then I guess it's not true love."
Hermione closed her eyes.
"Do you remember the story you told me? About the Angel and the Demon falling in love?"
Ginny chuckled.
"Sure, I love this story."
Hermione nodded.
"Yeah, but why? I mean it ends tragically, doesn't it? Let's turn it around. Imagine you're the Angel and fall in love with a Demon. What would you do? I mean, if Harry wasn't the good guy, if he was actually the bad one, would you feel the same way?"
Ginny frowned.
"It would still be Harry, wouldn't it?"
Hermione shrugged.
"Maybe. Maybe not."
Ginny snorted, crossed her arms over her chest and looked into the starry sky.
"I wouldn't care. Even if he was the biggest devil, I would still love him. You can't choose the one you love, it simply happens."
Hermione smiled.
"I knew you would say that. But imagine you'd lose your family, your friends, everything that was ever important to you if you love that person. Would he be worth it?"
Ginny nodded convinced.
"I would even give my life for the one I love."
Hermione chuckled.
"You're incredible Gin."
Ginny shrugged grinning.
"Sure I am. Why do you ask those things, anyway?"
Hermione shook her head.
"Just thought about it."
Ginny smiled and put her hand on Hermiones arm.
"I really hope you and Ron will be very happy together."
Hermione smiled back.
"I also hope we'll be happy."
She didn't say together because she knew exactly that this was not possible.
ooooo
Hermione and Ginny went back to the castle in silence. Both girls were lost in their thoughts. Ginny had noticed that Mione hadn't said with one word that she actually loved Ron. And she'd also noticed that her friend seemed to suffer. There was always a sad shadow in her eyes lately and her smile didn't reach her eyes. Something had definitely happened, but Mione wasn't ready to tell her yet. Ginny only hoped that Ron wouldn't get hurt while Mione was searching for her way.
Hermione had similar thoughts. They passed the greenhouse and cringed when the door suddenly opened with a croaking noise. Malfoy came out, Pansy behind him, shouting his name imploring. Malfoys tie was released, his shirt was half open and his hair messy. Pansy didn't look much better. His eyes hardened when he recognized them.
Hermione just tensed and smirked coolly.
"Don't mind us." she said icy.
Malfoy narrowed his eyes and it cut into her heart like a knife. She felt a strong need to kill him right now. Another strong impulse was to simply force him back into that greenhouse and show him that he belonged to her and to no one else. She was really stupid.
Ginny could feel the tenseness in the air, but couldn't really understand it. Mione and Malfoy were glaring at each other as if they were ready to kill. Ginny knew that they didn't really like one another, but wasn't this kind of an overreaction?
Pansy frowned. What was going on here? Draco had suddenly asked her to take a walk with him. They'd started to make out and Pansy had been happier than ever, when he'd suddenly pushed her away, cursed and left the greenhouse without a word. And now he was glaring at the mudblood bitch as if he'd love to choke her.
Hermione tried to take her eyes off him, but couldn't. He suddenly made a step towards her, grabbed her wrist and dragged her along, rudely. Ginny and Pansy couldn't do more than say 'hey' before both of them disappeared in the darkness.
"What the hell was that right now?" Ginny asked frowning.
Pansy shrugged.
"No idea. He's strange lately."
Ginny nodded understanding and both girls looked at each other confused. It was a strange feeling to have a normal conversation between a Slytherin and a Gryffindor.
They turned around and walked towards the castle in silence. Ginny would tell Ron and Harry and then help to look for Mione. It couldn't be good for her to be with Malfoy too long.
ooooo
"Let go, Malfoy!" Hermione hissed, trying hard to release herself from his grip. He didn't even seem to notice. He dragged her along silently, his steps full of anger. They'd reached the castle and were now going through different corridors.
Hermione gasped when Malfoy opened the door of a little chamber and pushed her inside. She turned around glaring and saw him lock the door magically. Hermione shivered. The chamber was only illuminated by moonlight and his eyes were gleaming silvery. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at him icily.
"What's this supposed to mean?" she finally spit.
He still didn't answer. The fury in his eyes made her tremble. He approached her and Hermione made automatically a step back. He reminded her of a cat of prey and she was obviously the prize.
"Don't dare to touch me…" she threatened and he smirked.
"As if you would resist." he sneered and Hermione gritted her teeth.
"Don't be so full of yourself, you jerk!" she snarled and Malfoy made another step towards her.
"Don't worry honey, I'll rather break your neck than seduce you." he spit and Hermione was breathing hard.
"I hate you Malfoy." she whispered and he grinned.
"Not as much as I hate you." he answered, grabbed her wrist and pushed her against the wall.
Hermione moaned and kicked him as hard as she could.
"I said don't dare to touch me you asshole! I'd rather die than let you touch me after you fucked that little bitch!" Hermione screamed and took a broom, ready to strike him.
Malfoy was now obviously bloody mad.
"You reproach me after you started making out with Weasley in front of the whole school? Who's actually the bitch, Granger?"
Hermione stared him down and threw away the broom. She'd kill him with her bare hands.
Malfoy snorted disdainfully, reached her with one step and grabbed her hand.
"You're the biggest hypocrite I ever knew! You pretend to be in love with Weasley, snog him in front of everyone, yet you don't feel anything for him. You just started to make out with him to forget about me. Don't act like you're the poor girl sacrificing everything. Fact is that you play with his feelings like you played with mine. And all of this happened just because it doesn't fit in your plan of a perfect life to fall in love with someone like me. You piss me off, Granger!"
Hermione had opened her mouth in surprise and shock, not able to answer back. He was right. She'd used Ron to give up on Malfoy. She'd played with their feelings and she'd always thought she'd been the one suffering most. She sobbed and Malfoy looked at her coolly.
"What's wrong, Granger? No protest? No cursing? No broom to beat me up?" he sneered and Hermione glared at him.
"What about you then, Malfoy? What about your own hypocrisy? You say I'm selfish because I want a perfect life? That I'm playing with Rons feelings? Then what about you and Pansy? How's it called to sleep with a girl you don't love? What about your mission and your family? You're not ready to give them up as well, are you? You reproach me, yet you're not a whit better than I am!" she hissed and he narrowed his eyes.
"I break up with Pansy if you break up with Weasley." he suddenly said tensed.
Hermione snuffled.
"And then? What should we do afterwards?"
Malfoy looked at her intensively and she shivered. He could really appear dangerous sometimes.
"I don't care, but if he ever touches you again, I'll definitely kill him." he said husky and Hermione gulped.
"You can't kill every guy who approaches me."
Malfoy smirked and leant his hands against the wall, next to her head.
"Sure I can. You're mine."
Hermione gasped.
"I don't belong to anybody, least to you!" she hissed angry. He smiled and shook his head.
"You really shouldn't have said that." he whispered and she finally felt his lips on hers.
Hermione wasn't ready to give in that easily. She bit his lip and pushed him away, but she had no chance. He held her firm and his lips forced her to open up for him. He didn't care about her fighting, didn't let her escape and didn't give her a chance to breathe.
She tried to resist, tried to release herself, but his kiss suddenly changed and her feelings overwhelmed her whole body and mind. His lips were soft now, his kisses sweet and deep but fondling, his hands caressing her everywhere. His body was pressed hard against hers and Hermione couldn't do more than leech on to him and finally return his kiss. She definitely loved this guy. No matter how hard it was, she simply loved him. There was no place for rationality in this feeling.
"Say that you're mine." he claimed husky and Hermione shook her head, still too stubborn to admit it.
"You want me to prove you wrong again?" he asked with a smile in his voice.
Hermione gulped and shook her head. She'd closed her eyes. He started kissing her eyes, her nose, her cheeks, her ears and finally her neck. She moaned.
"Say it." he demanded again and Hermione took a deep breath.
"Did you sleep with Pansy?" she croaked all of a sudden.
He wrapped a silky curl around his finger and smiled crooked.
"I couldn't."
Hermione closed her eyes and breathed relieved.
"Why not?"
Malfoy sighed.
"You know exactly why."
Hermione opened her eyes and looked at him.
"Tell me."
He snorted.
"I was really pissed. I wanted to kill you when I saw you this morning. And then I simply wanted to forget about you. I thought another girl would be exactly what I needed. I was wrong. It doesn't work with any girl. I need you."
Hermione sighed.
"I'm yours." she finally admitted and closed her eyes again, this time in devotion.
She could feel Malfoys triumphant smile and then again his lips. Hopeless to fight this. She would have to give up on the plan of a perfect life without him. There couldn't be anything perfect without him anyway…
Neither of them noticed the gleaming eyes, watching them in the darkness.
Here I am again! Sorry, it took some time to update this chapter. I had a pretty hard week and no time. But I hope that you enjoy reading chapter 10 now. :-) I got many nice and helpful reviews and I'm really glad to have you guys telling me your opinions. Please keep reviewing! I always look forward to read your ideas and feelings. I hope I'll be able to update the next chapter faster. Thanks once again and have a good time!