Overcoming Adversity - Chapter 10

GALINDA

Dear Farold,

I don't know what to do. Please help. I'm struggling.

I put down the pen and frowned. The letter seemed flimsy and desperate. What in Oz did one say in an emergency letter to one's counsellor? That Momsie hated me because of my relationship with Elphie? That my entire life had taken a nosedive and I couldn't stand it anymore? That everything felt numb and dead and like I was losing control?

Was I going crazy?

I crumpled up the letter and chucked it in the bin. Farold couldn't help me with this. There was only one person…and she wasn't here.

Sighing, I flopped back down into my bed. My head was beginning to ache again. I listened to the blissful silence which had grown on me since those cruel days at Shiz. No wonder Elphie favoured solitude, there was no one to force my interest, no one to make light of my wreckage of a life, or so it felt like.

I was so tired – so tired of living this way, so tired of scraping at brick walls giving everything and receiving much adoration while only really receiving surface gestures in return. The things I had done, the efforts I had made, the make-up, the glamour, the money, the grandiose gesticulations of goodwill, all came up short. I had kept up the smiles, the giggles and stellar deportment, yet still there had grown these cracks beneath the surface, cracks which slowly grew bigger and deeper until eventually it felt like I was crumbling into nothing.

And what would fill those empty spaces but the debris of a former existence?

Still, even after all that, I retained my resolve that it was something I had to do. I couldn't be wrong…because if I was, it meant my whole life was a lie.

Someone knocked on the door. Which annoying person had decided to bug me now? Couldn't they all just back off and leave me be? The door handle twisted and I dreaded the moment they would enter. Which horribleness would plague me next? Which person's harsh judgement would become my ultimate undoing, because that was surely what was bound to happen to me?

'Glin?'

It was Popsicle. I glanced over from my mattress.

'You have mail,' he said.

I looked at the letter in his hand – then immediately jumped up and took it, feeling a wave of dizziness as I did so.

'Elphie,' I said. I could tell from the Munchkinland seal. I quickly ripped it open and scanned its contents. 'She's coming back,' I breathed. 'Tomorrow.'

I sank back onto my bed, feeling like the world had been lifted off my shoulders. Elphie was coming back. I wouldn't have to be alone anymore.

'Your mother didn't want to allow it,' Popsicle said, 'but I insisted.'

I scowled. Elphie was coming back…but things weren't perfect yet.

Popsicle came and sat next to me.

'She still loves you,' he said. 'She's a bit confused right now. I have to say, it was somewhat surprising when Sapphryn told us about the nature of your relationship with Miss Elphaba. For your mother…it isn't something she's come across before. She needs time to get used to the idea, especially since Miss Elphaba is a rather unique choice of partner.'

'I failed her,' I mumbled.

'What?'

'I should have been able to give her what she wanted.'

'That's not a way to live. You can't always give everyone what they want. Sometimes you have to choose what's right for you and other people won't accept it easily. You're not failing anyone, Glin. And you would only be failing yourself if you didn't choose the things that make you happy.'

Then why, I spent the rest of the day wondering, was the thing that made me most happy, the thing that was also putting me through such turmoil?

The hours in between receiving the letter and Elphie's impending arrival stretched out long and tedious. That night it was impossible to sleep when all I could think of was how Elphie would finally be back to save me from the horrendibleness that had happened in her absence. I tossed and turned, plagued with a combination of waking dreams about Elphie, nightmares about the world and society and Momsie hating me, and waking up still feeling unwell and struggling to get back to sleep again.

Every time I opened my eyes and looked out of the window, it was dark outside and I sighed in frustration that morning was taking far too long to get here. The seconds hand on the clock on my wall ticked away, their irritating click pacing their passing in steady beats. The house was otherwise silent – not even Oenadi was shuffling around. I could almost believe that there were no other people in the world, only me in my large, octagonal bedroom, surrounded by my pink artefacts, and oh, so alone. That would have been a nice idea, if only it didn't feel like the tall walls were closing in on me.

Finally, after what felt like forever, the sun began to peek out from behind the buildings of Frottica and I gave up all hope of more sleep and contented myself with sitting on my bed listening to the early morning hum of birds and watching daylight appear. I thought I had committed a feat worth of Elphie: At Shiz, only she would be up at this ungodly hour of morning. She wouldn't arrive until the afternoon, yet I still found myself peeking out the window wishing for a carriage to draw up and her unique, green limbs to step out of its doors.

Like a knight in shining armour, I thought, and then dispelled the idea. Had I really thought that once, about boys? How ridiculous.

.../...

ELPHABA

The sight of Frottica's buildings as the carriage pulled into a depot presented a far more comforting sight than the more familiar buildings of Munchkinland. I exited as quickly as I could and looked around for any sign of Galinda and her family. Unable to spot them immediately, I walked slowly around, thinking they might be further up the track. Still unable to find them, I stopped by the carriage and racked my brains. I was positive I had sent word that I was coming, so where were they?

At the back of my mind appeared a small nag that perhaps the Uplands had decided that they no longer wished to associate with the green girl after all. I quickly dismissed it as ridiculous, but soon it began to increase. Within minutes it surged into a rapid onset of dread and I looked around wildly for a sign that it wasn't true. The people continued to hurry to their destinations; horses clip-clopped; carriages came and went.

My world crashed down around me. I was completely and utterly alone, exiled into poverty, destined by my verdigris to roam the streets, living off scraps and being looked down on by the rest of Oz. There would be no more Shiz; no more Galinda; no more pretence that I was any semblance of a decent human being. I had brought it on myself, of course, and the consequences were finally clear –

'Miss Elphaba!'

I snapped my eyes forward and saw Larena hurrying towards me. Relief flooded through me and my shoulders visibly sank. I wasn't abandoned after all. She halted in front of me and looked me up and down. She looked flustered and unkempt, which was very different to the first time that I met her.

'Um – I do apologise, being late like this, but you know how it is…things pile and before you know it the time has passed.'

She showed me to the carriage, but did not say much more. The ride back was practically silent, with Larena giving me the odd look that I assumed was still to do with my skin colour. I wondered where Galinda was. I'd assumed she would come to the depot as well, but maybe she was seeing one of her old friends, or Sapphryn.

When the carriage drew up in front of the Uplands' mansion, Larena had Oenadi see to my suitcase.

'Dinner's at seven. Galinda's in her room. She's been a bit unwell recently.'

'Unwell? Is she alright?'

'She is fine as far as you're concerned,' Larena snapped, and I winced at her tone. What in Oz was going on?

I hurried upstairs to Galinda's bedroom. What awful timing for this to happen. Perhaps I should have stayed with her after all, but thinking of Nessa, it seemed that whatever choice I made, someone was bound to get hurt.

I didn't even knock before opening the door. Galinda was sitting on her bed in a pink nightdress, with dark circles under her eyes and messy, straggly hair. Immediately she got up, stumbled, and staggered across the room and into my arms.

'You're back,' she said in a pathetic tone.

'I'm so sorry, my sweet. I shouldn't have left you.'

'I love you.'

I gripped her tightly and gently led her back to bed. She curled up on my lap and I kissed the top of her head.

'Glin, I love you too.'